Polyamory and K-1 visas

[Caladan 19]

They don't look for proof of love. If they did, there'd be quite a lot of May-December relationships headed for a denial. There's be a lot of cultural differences that would amount to a denial. They don't care if you're happy or in love, just that you intend to get married and not just for immigration benefits.

[DA BOMB 1]

The USCIS counts moral character, but I'm pretty sure that's only with regard to laws. Polyamory may be ill-advised, but it's not illegal. (And adultery is one of the "crimes" that doesn't indicate moral turpitude, either.) They're not here to ensure you have a nice marriage with a nice picket fence and get along well with your neighbors.

Thank goodness USCIS doesn't have to pass judgment on whether our relationships meet with the approval of the Catholic Church. On the other hand, it would probably mean less of a backlog at the consulate. DENIED, DENIED, DENIED. Probably includes anyone who met online or had sex. Plus side, quick processing.

We've all mentioned the third wheel. The fact that you need to denounce I suppose makes you feel better, but if you can't tell the difference between polygamy and polyamory, might be best not to make the pronouncements on moral turpitude while wrapping yourself up in your wee flag of self-righteous, mmkay?

I only have ONE fiance...the difference between polygamy and polyamory is a piece of paper. Whats your point?

[JoeMama 0]

Um, reality check, as in my title......This is freaking wrong! What are you people drinking?

I think she's got all the answers she's seeking. I thought a little sarcasm would add humor to it. She can live her life however she wishes. Whether I like or dislike what she's doing, it's not up to me to try to sell this kind of relationship off to the US government.

[Jenn! 918]

They don't look for proof of love. If they did, there'd be quite a lot of May-December relationships headed for a denial. There's be a lot of cultural differences that would amount to a denial. They don't care if you're happy or in love, just that you intend to get married and not just for immigration benefits.

If you think there's a lack of love in some of the May-December relationships, what is it then that would qualify them as bonafide?

[mRx 16]

Hence the need for another man to help support?

I can't help but think of a "tag team" thing happening often in this future household. One tires out, slap the hand of the other to take over.

or perhaps some quality 3-way action. The "london bridge" manuever comes to mind.

Not that there's anything wrong with it. I think about if there are children from this 3-way. What do they call the other guy? Dad? Uncle? Grandpa?

Hmmmm. Mom, Dad, and Mom-lover?

[William33 110]

Who gives a ####### about the "loophole permissibility†of this situation in the eyes of the USCIS?

Tell them about it, and it will become unacceptable in short order.

You mention the case facts, such as the boyfriend is the sponsor, and rejection will be imminent. All elements of this case infer deception, either way.

It is morally and socially unacceptable, simple as that. Anyone supporting this relationship is as fcuked up as the OP.

The OP asked for advice, here it is: Get a life! One mate per person is acceptable here.

Shove that in your PC private spot valera. Thanks William.

ETA: On second thought, who was that directed at?

Edited March 27, 2007 by William33

[no name 1]

They don't look for proof of love. If they did, there'd be quite a lot of May-December relationships headed for a denial. There's be a lot of cultural differences that would amount to a denial. They don't care if you're happy or in love, just that you intend to get married and not just for immigration benefits.

Which begs the question - what is the difference between love and a bona fide relationship?? Is there one?

She already has lover #1 here already & does not want to marry him. She wants to bring lover #2 to America and the only way she can do it is to have him marry/immigrate?

Fine lines here...

I'm not judging except that she wants 2 lovers & the only way she can do it is a marriage of convenience...which could get into tricky immigration legality stuff.

[vorpalswrd 0]

Also, even though you cannot support your fiance, you will be required to fill out an I-864 yourself. Might take some explaining if the addys are the same & you haven't filed in years. They might wonder how can you possibly support someone if you don't work, don't file taxes, aren't a student yet you are being supported, and NOT by a family member.

I am currently a student and have been since i was...4ish. lol

So are you graduating soon? Most GRAD SCHOOL students have worked ast some point in their lives...and filed taxes.

How can you support someone if you are still in college? Even with a co-sponsor there are MANY red flags here. Be prepared to face them. Not to mention you 'lol'ing your own student statement - are you even mature enough to have 2 men?

PS: A requirement of the K1 is having met in the last 2 years - have you?

Yes I am a grad school student and I have filed taxes in the past but not for a few years. All of my recent work has been volunteer or, when I worked for my last college I did not make enough to file. I will obviously be able to support him after I finish college and start working, not to mention my fiance currently holds a job in his home country and will work once he comes here. Not being able to support someone is obviously an acceptable situation as there IS a name for the person involved, the co-sponsor, as you so kindly mentioned. Two incomes between 3 people will not be an issue. And there is no need to question my maturity as I do find it humorous that I have been in school for the large portion of my life, not enjoying my humor certainly does not give one the right to question my maturity level. Also yes we have met in the last two years and lived together for the three months he was here.

[Caladan 19]

Intent to get married, freedom to do so (that's your difference right there, Billy Bong), non-fraudulent intent, proof of relationship.

Proof of love? Not so much.

[Alex+R 0]

They don't look for proof of love. If they did, there'd be quite a lot of May-December relationships headed for a denial. There's be a lot of cultural differences that would amount to a denial. They don't care if you're happy or in love, just that you intend to get married and not just for immigration benefits.

If you think there's a lack of love in some of the May-December relationships, what is it then that would qualify them as bonafide?

Doesn't just wanting a partnership count? I doubt the guys whose wives die/divorce them and then who get a new younger wife 6 months later are in it for love, but they are definitely in it for marriage. Or did I miss your point?

[JoeMama 0]

I can't help but think of a "tag team" thing happening often in this future household. One tires out, slap the hand of the other to take over.

or perhaps some quality 3-way action. The "london bridge" manuever comes to mind.

Don't forget about the "Locomotion"! Who gets to be the caboose? WOO! WOO!

[Jenn! 918]

They don't look for proof of love. If they did, there'd be quite a lot of May-December relationships headed for a denial. There's be a lot of cultural differences that would amount to a denial. They don't care if you're happy or in love, just that you intend to get married and not just for immigration benefits.

If you think there's a lack of love in some of the May-December relationships, what is it then that would qualify them as bonafide?

Doesn't just wanting a partnership count? I doubt the guys whose wives die/divorce them and then who get a new younger wife 6 months later are in it for love, but they are definitely in it for marriage. Or did I miss your point?

I was talking more about the younger half of the relationship. If they're not in for love, then what are they in it for besides immigration benefits?

[vorpalswrd 0]

I think we've pretty much exhausted this topic, as now we are just moving into assumptions and random comments. If anyone else has anything useful to add, I check my inbox often. Thank you once again to everyone, even those who were un-helpful, as I do enjoy a good bit of debate. I will keep in contact with those who have been most helpful. Good luck to everyone else.

--*--A

[no name 1]

Yes I am a grad school student and I have filed taxes in the past but not for a few years. All of my recent work has been volunteer or, when I worked for my last college I did not make enough to file. I will obviously be able to support him after I finish college and start working, not to mention my fiance currently holds a job in his home country and will work once he comes here. Not being able to support someone is obviously an acceptable situation as there IS a name for the person involved, the co-sponsor, as you so kindly mentioned. Two incomes between 3 people will not be an issue. And there is no need to question my maturity as I do find it humorous that I have been in school for the large portion of my life, not enjoying my humor certainly does not give one the right to question my maturity level. Also yes we have met in the last two years and lived together for the three months he was here.

It may take 4+ months for him to be able to work - he needs his work permit or GC to do so. I still think your co-sponsor relationship will come under scruntiny, since you are not related & living together. You should not lie to USCIS & they do ask the relationship of the co-sponsor ion the I-864 form.

Edited March 27, 2007 by devilette

[mRx 16]

I can't help but think of a "tag team" thing happening often in this future household. One tires out, slap the hand of the other to take over.

or perhaps some quality 3-way action. The "london bridge" manuever comes to mind.

Don't forget about the "Locomotion"! Who gets to be the caboose? WOO! WOO!

or like an inverted hamburger. beef on top and bottom and the bun in the middle