K1 - no engagement party or photos with family

[Bryan and An 23]

Hello,

I told our whole long story just a couple of days ago, so I don't want to rehash all of that again. Basically, we decided to go the K1 route instead of the CR1, which was what we had been planning. We want to start the application now, but are concerned about two things:

1) No formal engagement party. I just proposed at the end of my trip, no photos or anything. Her dad was at sea the whole month I was in Vietnam, plus at the time we were planning on an engagement party and wedding next summer in Vietnam.

2) No pictures of me or us with any of her family. I met her mother, sister, and brother, but only once or twice each, and for some reason neither of us thought to take pictures at that time.

The engagement party thing is confusing to me anyway. Some people (including some in the thread I started the other day) say that they're a bad idea, because anything that even looks that formal is "too much like a wedding" and visas have been denied for that very reason. Yet many others say that there have been flat out denials strictly based on the fact that there was no engagement party. We're really baffled on this point.

I don't think we're a red flag case at all; although I only had 1 visit there, it was for a month and we traveled the whole country together. We have over a year of daily communication we can easily document. She speaks near-fluent English so there is no communication barrier at all. Neither of us have previous marriages, kids, criminal records, etc. And, frankly, I think we look very happy in our pictures together.

But this one thing has us concerned and wondering if we should wait until I visit one more time to start the process. Or if we're denied, and I visit again and continue to build more evidence, would the previous denial in and of itself be a big negative in our next attempt?

Total side question I thought I'd throw in: On her G-325a form, it asks for her parents' birthdays. She said that they only know the years, and not the dates, but that in Vietnam they just use 1/1. Is it okay to just put that?

Thanks!

[Longrangeshootr 20]

I wouldn't say no engagement party is a denial or 1 trip is a denial. I sent our petition off after the first trip, we did have an engagement party. I front loaded our petition, while we were stuck in TSC I made 3 more trips including the interview. As far as the birthdate I just put the year with no dates your call.

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

In some countries it would not matter, but the US embassy in Vietnam is big on engagement parties, as it is traditional there. As mentioned, it is not an automatic denial, but it could make a difference, especially with you having no evidence of meeting family, and only one visit. Are you planning anymore visits between now and the likely interview? A engagement party could be planned for then...

[Longrangeshootr 20]

I agree with Penguin_ie, if you do file now would be wise to gather more evidence to take with you to the interview. I know it's tuff to juggle work with time off and the cost of the expense to travel back and forth. You could have an engagement party on the next trip. I think we spent around 1500.00 with rings we bought in Vietnam. We had it at her sisters house with close family and friends. It wasn't anything fancy, everyone decorated and we wore traditional attire. Very simple but overall effective. If your concerned at least it will give you peace of mind knowing you've done what it takes to make it thru the consulate. Others here have made it thru with far less, but is that a chance your willing to take? It wasn't for me. Good luck to you both.

[Longrangeshootr 20]

Also if you want more feedback to your posts, you may want to add Vietnam to your profile, this will insure that this post ends up in the Vietnam country specific.

[Will_and_Tu 46]

I read your earlier post, and my take on it was that you should be going the K-1 route, so I'm glad that's what you decided. We just got our K-1 approved in July, and our situation was not unlike yours (i.e., no engagement party photos).

I'm not sure why you had folks telling you to avoid the engagement party--that sounds like it may be good advice for other embassies, but if it was specifically for HCM, I'd say it was bad advice. They will expect you to have had an engagement party and to have photos. If you don't have any, it's by no means a deal-breaker, but you should expect the consular officer to shuffle through your photos and, if they don't see any, ask to see your engagement photos. That's something you should have an answer prepped for ahead of time, and if the answer in any way involves not having had an engagement party, you should also have an answer ready to explain why not. In our case, it's because Tu isn't especially traditional and because she decided she'd rather we save the money for other things, but she answered that it was because I proposed at the end of the last trip when I visited her (exactly the situation you're in), which seemed to satisfy the officer,.

If you don't have engagement photos and you don't have family pics, though, I'd say that might be a minor red flag. Even if you don't want to do the engagement party for whatever reason, you should make a point of being sure you have photos of yourself with her family, even if her father isn't able to be around to be in them. We were also missing these, but I traveled to Vietnam to attend the interview with her (more on that in a sec), and one of our missions before the interview was to be sure we took a number of pictures of me interacting with her family in their home, out and about, etc.

There are a couple of counterbalances to not having the engagement photos, too (although I still would strongly advise getting photos of you with her family), one of which is to plan to attend the interview with her. I made sure I was seen by the officer who collected her paperwork and that I was sworn in alongside her by the interviewing officer. Even though they both told me to go sit down, I made sure I was seen to be there with her, and she and I are both firmly convinced this was a signifcant factor in the approval. Also, because we didn't have engagement photos, I did bring the receipt for her engagement ring to add weight to the idea that the engagement was genuine. I'm not sure if that influenced the officer at all, but it did make me feel better, at least.

Side question: her father was born in the 1930s in a small village and doesn't even know when his birthday is! We used a birthdate of 1/1 and nobody ever batted an eyelash. Keep in mind that the G-325a is really for background checks on her...the officer will have it available as part of the packet when you get interviewed, but the questions they ask your fiancee will really be about you and your relationship.

Good luck!

Edited August 31, 2016 by Will_and_Tu

[Bryan and An 23]

Thanks again for all of the great advice. To answer some of the questions:

I have another trip planned for July (another one month trip). Engagement party, photos with family, all of that could be taken care of then. Plus, it would be another nice, long trip under my belt. I would feel very confident to interview at that point. (I assume that the evidence we have now is at least enough to make it to the consulate, right?)

The problem is that if we apply now, I think there's a very strong chance the interview would happen before July. There's simply no way, with my job, that I can make the trip any earlier than next summer (I could stretch it back into June if needed). Now, I could almost certainly take enough days off to shoot out there for the interview, no matter when it is - but I would have to be there and back in a span of 5 days, so clearly there would not be time for a party, family photos, etc. That would have to wait until July. (I'm a teacher, if that clarifies anything).

What I'm thinking now is just to wait until a couple of months before my summer trip to start the application. Then, get over there in July, do all of the good stuff, come home and wait for the interview. It would be a little more waiting, but I just feel it would make our case a lot stronger and reduce risks. I almost wouldn't mind doing it now and if denied, immediately start the process again (despite the extra cost) with the summer trip in there before the second interview, but I don't know what impact a denial has on the subsequent application/interview. I don't know if it's worth the risk.

But yeah, as I said, I'll almost certainly be at the interview no matter when it is.

Edited August 31, 2016 by Bryan and An

[Will_and_Tu 46]

Hey, I'm in education, too!

Your evidence is certainly enough for the 129. We had photos, Viber chatlogs, e-mails, and I followed the VJ suggestions of 5-6 examples of each.

I also didn't have the original boarding passes or hotel vouchers for the three visits I'd made, but if you did any of that online, your itineraries and e-mail receipts will serve the same purpose. And if all else fails, you can send photocopies of all your passport pages, which will include the entry/exit stamps on the Vietnam visa.

As you work your way through the process and you get to the stage for setting an interview date, the consulate won't unilaterally choose one for you. You'll see open dates on a calendar, and you'll be able to select the date you want. They fill up pretty far in advance, though, and more quickly than you might expect. You're pretty close to our timeline start (we filed the 129 in October of 2015), and although we could have interviewed as early as mid-June, we chose late July. The only technical requirement is that you have to schedule your interview before the 129 expires, but the Vietnamese consulate routinely extends the validity of the approved 129s because they are such a busy embassy and many folks would expire before they even had a chance to interview. You can visit the embassy's webpage and read the FAQ--no need to take my word on that count.

I don't know what others would say, but I'd suggest you at least start gathering materials for the process now. If you're trying to target next summer, you want to be submitting your 129 in early to mid autumn. If the 129 gets approved, your fiancee will have to do most of the work to get ready for the interview, but the 129 is almost wholly on you to assemble. You'll need a couple of things from her, though (the G325 and an intent-to-marry letter, which both require her original signature).

I'd cruise the timelines of people who post in the Vietnam forums and see what kinds of waits they had to get a better sense of whether or not you gain anything by delaying. Knowing that the consulate will give you a default extension on your 129 should give you some comfort and breathing room, though.

[Bryan and An 23]

Ah, that's great info Will, thank you! So when it's time to choose in interview date, you can basically go as far into the future as you want (assuming you extend the I-129)? It would be perfect if we could manage to get the interview in near the end of my visit next July. Save making an extra trip just for the interview, plus give us a chance to gather some additional evidence. I'll begin working on it ASAP and hope to get it off by the end of September.

[Will_and_Tu 46]

Ah, that's great info Will, thank you! So when it's time to choose in interview date, you can basically go as far into the future as you want (assuming you extend the I-129)? It would be perfect if we could manage to get the interview in near the end of my visit next July. Save making an extra trip just for the interview, plus give us a chance to gather some additional evidence. I'll begin working on it ASAP and hope to get it off by the end of September.

You can't go into the future as far as you want, because they "unlock" the future dates on the calendar a little at a time. So when you login, you'll see dates up to some future point, and then everything will be grayed out. I'm not sure what the formula is for when they open up new dates further out on the calendar, or how they decide which dates will be made available, but the embassy has an e-mail you can send questions like that to. I know in our case, it looked like August wasn't being unlocked for some reason, which is why we settled on late July. But we submitted the necessary materials to activate the date selection in late May, and we had the latter half of June and all of July to select from.

And the extension happens automatically. I never got any kind of notification about it, and the only place where it is listed in writing anywhere is on the Annotations section of Tu's visa. I did write to the embassy beforehand to get a confirmation that any 129 in danger of expiring would be renewed, printed off their response, and added that to our interview packet, just in case.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

K1 i agree if you go donthe engagement party and take pics to embassy.... Congrats

[cyclone27 710]

We never bothered with any engagement ceremony though never went the K1 route. In fact never had any pics with the family until we had a formal reception in Saigon 8mo after we formally married in Bangkok.

[jac_chappin 24]

Thanks again for all of the great advice. To answer some of the questions:

I have another trip planned for July (another one month trip). Engagement party, photos with family, all of that could be taken care of then. Plus, it would be another nice, long trip under my belt. I would feel very confident to interview at that point. (I assume that the evidence we have now is at least enough to make it to the consulate, right?)

The problem is that if we apply now, I think there's a very strong chance the interview would happen before July. There's simply no way, with my job, that I can make the trip any earlier than next summer (I could stretch it back into June if needed). Now, I could almost certainly take enough days off to shoot out there for the interview, no matter when it is - but I would have to be there and back in a span of 5 days, so clearly there would not be time for a party, family photos, etc. That would have to wait until July. (I'm a teacher, if that clarifies anything).

What I'm thinking now is just to wait until a couple of months before my summer trip to start the application. Then, get over there in July, do all of the good stuff, come home and wait for the interview. It would be a little more waiting, but I just feel it would make our case a lot stronger and reduce risks. I almost wouldn't mind doing it now and if denied, immediately start the process again (despite the extra cost) with the summer trip in there before the second interview, but I don't know what impact a denial has on the subsequent application/interview. I don't know if it's worth the risk.

But yeah, as I said, I'll almost certainly be at the interview no matter when it is.

Hi Bryan! I think your approach to give it more time and more trips is solid. My wife came in 2011 and actually working on the Citizenship application as I write this post. Your strategy to be at interview is very wise. I did the same and the CO asked if I wanted to partake in interview and I said "heck yeah." I think me being there was one of the reasons my wife got approved. From my perspective, I wanted to ensure my wife secured the visa. I couldn't go to VN to get her but feel spending the money to be at interview was well worth it. As hard as it might be, the longer you wait, the stronger the case is. We too had an engagement party or as they call it in VN, Dam Hoi. Gather as much evidence as possible and prepare paperwork as if it's going to be a tough interview and you'll be fine. Prepare by quizzing your fiancé on 100 questions that they can possibly ask you. I can re-call when my wife arrived and my whole family was there to greet her with flowers and balloons. It's an amazing feeling. I wish the same for you and your fiancée. It takes lots of work but if you are willing to put in the effort, everything is going to work out. Best of luck! If you have any questions feel free to ping me. For us it has been a while, 5 years but if I can help I'll be glad to do it.

Edited September 8, 2016 by jac_chappin

[luckytxn 2,264]

K1 is the only way to go at this point. You do have a weak case but it can be made stronger from here on out. Engagement parties are pretty big along with pictures of you interacting with the family. Keep a lot of chat logs and any receipts of items paid for needed during this process.