Abusive Ex continuing to harass - he's filing for ROC

[OrderofProtection 42]

As you can tell, things didn't go so well. We filed K-1, were married and divorced back in fall of 2014. During the last 6 months of the marriage I had to take out an OofP for my own safety. He left town after the divorce and was quiet for a long time (OofP in effect until June of this year). Once he needed to file ROC, he emerged from the woodwork. I'm not sure where he is in that process other than he said they needed more evidence (RFE), which doesn't surprise me as we had little co-mingled finances and of course, that's a red flag to them. We were married only from Feb '13 to Sept. '14, before I couldn't take another moment of the binge drinking and emotion and verbal abuse.

In the last few months, he's been sending harassing emails, accusing me of lying, cheating, you name it. My friends and family think I should tell the USCIS about his behavior, but I'm not sure there is anything they can or will do about it.

Is there any recourse for me, since ROC is technically not my filing, to let them know what is going on, or do I just have to hope he doesn't come after me and will one day leave me alone?

I'm not trying to be evil here, but frankly, he's coming off as pretty crazy since he won't let it go two years later, and I absolutely will protect myself. He's moved around to 3 cities since he left NY (PHX, LA & Pittsburgh), so he's getting a little close for my taste.

Thanks in advance.

[Teddy B 17,252]

As you can tell, things didn't go so well. We filed K-1, were married and divorced back in fall of 2014. During the last 6 months of the marriage I had to take out an OofP for my own safety. He left town after the divorce and was quiet for a long time (OofP in effect until June of this year). Once he needed to file ROC, he emerged from the woodwork. I'm not sure where he is in that process other than he said they needed more evidence (RFE), which doesn't surprise me as we had little co-mingled finances and of course, that's a red flag to them. We were married only from Feb '13 to Sept. '14, before I couldn't take another moment of the binge drinking and emotion and verbal abuse.

In the last few months, he's been sending harassing emails, accusing me of lying, cheating, you name it. My friends and family think I should tell the USCIS about his behavior, but I'm not sure there is anything they can or will do about it.

Is there any recourse for me, since ROC is technically not my filing, to let them know what is going on, or do I just have to hope he doesn't come after me and will one day leave me alone?

I'm not trying to be evil here, but frankly, he's coming off as pretty crazy since he won't let it go two years later, and I absolutely will protect myself. He's moved around to 3 cities since he left NY (PHX, LA & Pittsburgh), so he's getting a little close for my taste.

Thanks in advance.

The only recourse you could possibly have regarding USCIS and his ROC would be to not help him with any of the evidence he might need for the ROC process. Seeing he already has his 2 year card he can file for ROC on his own without you, but it is a bit more difficult that way.

Stay focused on protecting yourself and getting the divorce done as quickly as possible so you can move on.

Good Luck!

Edited August 26, 2016 by Teddy B

[B&Z 201]

There has got to be a reason he's doing this and moving closer to you...

He might be trying to reel you into a situation in which he can accuse you of abusing him, thus making him able to file for ROC based on abuse/VAWA. If I were you, I'd definitely tell USCIS. Doesn't matter if they do anything or not, at least they'd have it on file to possibly take into consideration for his ROC (at least that's what I would hope). Then if I really felt threatened and saw him actually coming around to places where I'm at, I'd file for another order of protection.

I really hope you're not responding to his attempts at contacting you. Seems like he's starting to get desperate due to his trouble coming up with enough evidence to ROC based on divorce.

The only recourse you could possibly have regarding USCIS and his ROC would be to not help him with any of the evidence he might need for the ROC process. Seeing he already has his 2 year card he can file for ROC on his own without you, but it is a bit more difficult that way.

Stay focused on protecting yourself and getting the divorce done as quickly as possible so you can move on.

Good Luck!

They've been divorced since 2014, he's filing for ROC, and he's already gotten an RFE for more evidence of commingled finances....take another read of her post.

Edited August 26, 2016 by B&Z

[Teddy B 17,252]

.

There has got to be a reason he's doing this and moving closer to you...

He might be trying to reel you into a situation in which he can accuse you of abusing him, thus making him able to file for ROC based on abuse/VAWA. If I were you, I'd definitely tell USCIS. Doesn't matter if they do anything or not, at least they'd have it on file to possibly take into consideration for his ROC (at least that's what I would hope). Then if I really felt threatened and saw him actually coming around to places where I'm at, I'd file for another order of protection.

I really hope you're not responding to his attempts at contacting you. Seems like he's starting to get desperate due to his trouble coming up with enough evidence to ROC based on divorce.

They've been divorced since 2014, he's filing for ROC, and he's already gotten an RFE for more evidence of commingled finances....take another read of her post.

That's awesome, less for her to focus on.

Edited August 26, 2016 by Teddy B

[OrderofProtection 42]

There has got to be a reason he's doing this and moving closer to you...

He might be trying to reel you into a situation in which he can accuse you of abusing him, thus making him able to file for ROC based on abuse/VAWA. If I were you, I'd definitely tell USCIS. Doesn't matter if they do anything or not, at least they'd have it on file to possibly take into consideration for his ROC (at least that's what I would hope). Then if I really felt threatened and saw him actually coming around to places where I'm at, I'd file for another order of protection.

I really hope you're not responding to his attempts at contacting you. Seems like he's starting to get desperate due to his trouble coming up with enough evidence to ROC based on divorce.

They've been divorced since 2014, he's filing for ROC, and he's already gotten an RFE for more evidence of commingled finances....take another read of her post.

I did try and help him this past June by writing a basic affidavit for him stating date married, date divorced, date of OofP, and I got married in good faith, that's all I put in it (he treated me too poorly for me to put anything else that would help him). He got mad I wouldn't say "we" got married in good faith, but it's an affidavit, I can't speak for him. Other than sending him what little we had, that's all I could do. (I tried to get us a savings account together when we were married to help him, but he said "why would we do that?"

Anyway, after the affidavit email exchange in June, I didn't respond any further emails and yes, they've been escalating. It's not a great deal, but 1 a month. I'm sure he is desperate to get enough evidence to stay, but that's not my problem anymore. I'm assuming the RFE is due around 90 days or so, so maybe he will back off when time runs out.

I was considering writing a letter to the USCIS to be added to the file, just didn't know if it was worth a try or if anyone else had been on this side of it (abuse to petitioner).Thanks for your advice!

[Pinkrlion 2,724]

I would take all the information and extend the Order. I would block his emails and not respond. Envoy ur life and move on.

[Unlockable 7,315]

Re-up that OoP.

[JenniferNangel 137]

If you have a order of protection, him contacting you would be a vop(violation of protection) and he will be arrested but you must contact the police and make a report

I'm sorry you are going through this

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Steer clear of him if he got an RFE if you do nothing his case may just fall through

[Ash.1101 1,756]

If you have a order of protection, him contacting you would be a vop(violation of protection) and he will be arrested but you must contact the police and make a report

I'm sorry you are going through this

The OoP fell off in June, so she needs to renew it.

In my opinion:

you need to renew the OoP,

Do not block his calls or emails, but have his calls set to a silent ring tone and try to set up your email to where all emails from his email address are sent to a separate folder. You then don't have to see the emails, but you'll have proof of further harassment since they'll be tucked away in the folder, and you won't be bothered by the calls other than them being on your screen, but you'll also have proof of him calling and time stamps. Blocking both calls and emails can take away from of that harassment proof.

Do not help him in any way with his RoC. He's on his own with this one, it's up to him to get what ever USCIS asks for, not you.

Take care of yourself and renew the order of protection.

[JenniferNangel 137]

The OoP fell off in June, so she needs to renew it.

In my opinion:

you need to renew the OoP,

Do not block his calls or emails, but have his calls set to a silent ring tone and try to set up your email to where all emails from his email address are sent to a separate folder. You then don't have to see the emails, but you'll have proof of further harassment since they'll be tucked away in the folder, and you won't be bothered by the calls other than them being on your screen, but you'll also have proof of him calling and time stamps. Blocking both calls and emails can take away from of that harassment proof.

Do not help him in any way with his RoC. He's on his own with this one, it's up to him to get what ever USCIS asks for, not you.

Take care of yourself and renew the order of protection.

Oh I missed that part and I agree with you she should get a new protective order

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

Defineaatly a new order of proctection

and i know you don't want to be vindictive but i would send a few of these emails to USCIS

not only is your own proctection important but what of a new woman who needs protection?

try proctecting all of us from this kind of jerk