K1, Looking for advice after stressful and confusing embassy interview

[Umka36 781]

It's one of those topic in which people will have to agree to disagree on long visit vs. short ones vs. virtual communication.

I don't fault the CO for asking why such a short visit, because it is their job to see if a relationship is legit whether we like it or not. I personally think more/longer visits are better, and it gives both parties more opportunity to see any red flags before making the decision to get married.

[Dan and Radinka 11]

It's one of those topic in which people will have to agree to disagree on long visit vs. short ones vs. virtual communication.

I don't fault the CO for asking why such a short visit, because it is their job to see if a relationship is legit whether we like it or not. I personally think more/longer visits are better, and it gives both parties more opportunity to see any red flags before making the decision to get married.

I wouldn't blame the CO either about him doing his job. If he was doing his job THOROUGHLY(I have posted how my interview went earlier. Feel free to scroll up, read, and then judge for yourself). I was there. If he wanted to hear more and ask more about our relationship after he found that staying 4 days was a weird thing then he could have gone and done so. His questions were not enough. I would have appreciated it better even if he sharked on me with questions because I know I can answer them all and explain what needs to be explained. I can say that his questions were definitely NOT enough specially after I have finished my CFO interview where I could compare how much more thorough their interviewer was about my relationship.

On the topic of "internet dating" vs. "real life" dating it is different for everyone of course based on their personal experience.

Nowadays though, it's pretty close-minded of some people to still think that "internet dating" can never be as sincere as one done face to face from the beginning. If we're going to talk about lying, cheating, and false identities, this happens even in face to face relationships. Also, if you weren't aware of "pen pals" from the old days, people would write other people they find an interest on. In a way it's the same concept but better because with the advancement in technology, we can now have countless hours of video calls. You're not just exchanging words now, you can actually hear and see and directly talk with someone else through the internet.

Thank you Joel and Jasper, it's very nice to hear from people who have sincere hearts, who are enduring and staying faithful despite the long distance relationship. I couldn't agree more with the both of you. My fiance and I had been talking to each other from 2011 and had an attraction towards each other as soon as we began communicating through the website where we met (which is an art website), and then through instant messaging (we were using msn until it was taken down so yeah, a good amount of chatlogs went with it then we switched to skype). But we didn't really start officially dating until early this year, because of me, my decision. Whenever I enter a relationship, I'm not thinking about just for the sake of dating, I'm thinking of long term and so is my fiance. With this in mind I knew that if I got into a relationship with him, it will go further than dating so I took my time learning more how he is and the more I found about him, the more I like him. He never changed the way he interacts with me even in front of his family (even introducing me while we're on skype call) or even his friends and he was even better when we finally met in real life.

The 4 days were most definitely short and we both wished we could have scheduled it longer but we both had things we needed to consider as to why we picked the schedule we did. But I believe we made the most of those four days, spending every second we could together doing whatever and being happy.

Also, I never saw any OFFICIAL rule that a visit should meet a minimum of x days. Just saying.

[Umka36 781]

I'm not here to judge you, because I don't know you or your relationship. I'm just commenting on why I can understand the CO point of view and my personal opinion on why it's good to physically meet more/longer.

There obvious isn't a set rule on the number of days, and more often than not the CO has already made a determination on whether you will be approved or not ahead of time. It's also too late now for this, but I imagine if your fiancé was available for the interview the CO may not have been so persistent commenting on the short visit.

FWIW, I did both forms of communication (online/physically meeting) with my wife so I'm not closed minded on how the technology works. My wife actually bought her own computer in order for us to communicate (I was introduced to her from a colleague at work). We just preferred physically meeting in person, because it was so much different living with each other compared to communicating online. This is in no way about bashing for those who don't visit more/longer, because I'm fully aware that it works for some folks.

[Dan and Radinka 11]

I'm not here to judge you, because I don't know you or your relationship. I'm just commenting on why I can understand the CO point of view and my personal opinion on why it's good to physically meet more/longer.

There obvious isn't a set rule on the number of days, and more often than not the CO has already made a determination on whether you will be approved or not ahead of time. It's also too late now for this, but I imagine if your fiancé was available for the interview the CO may not have been so persistent commenting on the short visit.

FWIW, I did both forms of communication (online/physically meeting) with my wife so I'm not closed minded on how the technology works. My wife actually bought her own computer in order for us to communicate (I was introduced to her from a colleague at work). We just preferred physically meeting in person, because it was so much different living with each other compared to communicating online. This is in no way about bashing for those who don't visit more/longer, because I'm fully aware that it works for some folks.

I never said you were judging me. I just said what I did because it was how it went. I was only elaborating/sharing how my interview went.

Yea, having the petitioner together with the applicant on the day of the interview is a definite advantage specially when the interviewer seems a bit more interested in talking with the american citizen. The applicant basically just stands there while the interviewers would chat away with the american citizen. That's how it went during our batch. I was put in last so I had plenty of time to observe and listen to the ones that were being done.

The close-mindedness part wasn't addressed to you. I was speaking in general terms. Society wise.

[Nick&Lor 3]

I'm so sorry to hear that..

now I am worried :'( my fiance visited me once and only for week :'(

[Dan and Radinka 11]

@Nick&Lor

If your fiance can go with you on the day of your interview, it's best that he does. And be sure you're on the same page as for the reason why he was only able to visit you for that amount of time.

Edited September 1, 2016 by Dan and Radinka

[Nick&Lor 3]

I don't think he can :'( Maybe he can but I will feel bad since he is spending too much for this process plus our upcoming wedding He can only make 1 day leave every month as of now he has 2 days leave

[Greenbaum 12,259]

Remember you have only one shot at the K1 so weigh all your options which being highly prepared with documents about your relationship is one.

[Nick&Lor 3]

if he will come he wont have much leave for our wedding he can make 6 days leave till december .. from July,Aug,sept,oct,nov,dec and our wedding is on Jan

[kyleandrealyn 3]

Im sorry you got such a weird interview and it seemed the person was not interested in doing a little extra like looking at the skype pages to see how in love you were. Time off is hard to come by, especially if employed. I am lucky being self employed because I got to take 2 to 3 weeks off each time I went to see Rea. But that should not matter because I have never read a minimum stay rule. I think you are good though.

I will keep you two in my prayers. Keep your chins up.....it will work out.

Kyle

[Dan and Radinka 11]

Im sorry you got such a weird interview and it seemed the person was not interested in doing a little extra like looking at the skype pages to see how in love you were. Time off is hard to come by, especially if employed. I am lucky being self employed because I got to take 2 to 3 weeks off each time I went to see Rea. But that should not matter because I have never read a minimum stay rule. I think you are good though.

I will keep you two in my prayers. Keep your chins up.....it will work out.

Kyle

Thank you Kyle. Much appreciated. I hope you guys have a better experience with your interview.

Edited September 2, 2016 by Dan and Radinka

[kyleandrealyn 3]

Our interview went really easy. We were shocked how easy it was. That is why your interview was so shocking to me when I read it. I can understand the question about the 5 days but what I don't understand is how the answer of approved or not approved was never clear. So weird. I think it was approved though. He was just being a jerk about it I think. I get to go get Rea the 10 the 10th of this month and we will be in the US the 24th.

[MsCompE 50]

Hi Dan and Radinka,

I wonder if there has been any updates on the status. Your interview date was close to mine.

[Dan and Radinka 11]

@Kyle

That's good for you guys then. Congratulations!
Yea his answer was rather vague. He ended it like it was already approved and didn't instruct me to go to the 221 g windows. I only went there on my own and found out from the Filipina CO there that the interviewer was still not satisfied, despite him saying "Okay, I think these will be good enough", when I handed him our chatlogs and other pictures (and other things like tickets from our trip and courier receipts). Later that week after I was able to get back home (I'm not from Manila so I always have to travel back and forth and/or rent a hotel room) I got to check my email and I received one that's telling me our case was indeed placed under 221g.

Edited September 2, 2016 by Dan and Radinka

[Dan and Radinka 11]

Hi Dan and Radinka,

I wonder if there has been any updates on the status. Your interview date was close to mine.

Well, it looks like they have received our 221 g documents (which was more proof of relationship) but I have not received any email from them confirming this (unlike how others have mentioned they should a day after the embassy receives their 221 g documents). We only think this because 2GO lists our documents as received by Mr. Leonilo Bernardino on August 31 and when we checked the CEAC case tracker the status is updated to September 1.