90 Day Fiance- Season 4

[JFH 12,189]

Just watched the latest Happily Ever After...

Alexei's parents...talk about fishing for a green card. All this "we miss you so much, we can't cope without you". They knew Loren wouldn't leave the USA so they were basically saying "petition for us as soon as you have citizenship". Honestly, they are not even that old. He's not even 30 so his parents are in their 50s or 60s. But they are all acting like they are in their 90s with this "they need my help" business. My mother is in her 60s and still works full time, lives on her own and doesn't need any help. She'd be offended if I suggested she needed my or anyone else's help.

I feel sorry for Kyle. Spends over $1500 bringing Noon over and filing her AOS, leaves New Orleans for her, gives up his job for her, takes her to Portland to eat Thai food and speak to Thai people and she's still not satisfied. In their series I think they were the only couple truly in love and I'm disappointed that she's not prepared to change her lifestyle when she came to a new country.

Next week promises more Brett and Dayah - the girl who "gave up everything in the Philippines" for an expensive house in Washington. That must have been tough on her. Can't wait!

Edited October 13, 2016 by JFH

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

I feel sorry for Kyle. Spends over $1500 bringing Noon over and filing her AOS, leaves New Orleans for her, gives up his job for her, takes her to Portland to eat Thai food and speak to Thai people and she's still not satisfied. In their series I think they were the only couple truly in love and I'm disappointed that she's not prepared to change her lifestyle when she came to a new country.

Next week promises more Brett and Dayah - the girl who "gave up everything in the Philippines" for an expensive house in Washington. That must have been tough on her. Can't wait!

Kyle seems like he is madly in love with his ungrateful wife. He has no family so I think he will do anything not to lose her, seems like he's afraid of being alone. He quit his job for her, he now moved across the country only because she wanted to be around Thai people, and she's still not happy. Maybe her family is just fishing for more money. If she wants to be near more Thai people, maybe he should sent her back to Thailand.

My wife and I have disliked Daya since the beginning. Remember when she arrived at the airport, and he gave her a nice big bouquet of flowers, she complained that they weren't roses. Then she made him take her to a jewelry store to verify that the ring was a real diamond. If my fiancé demanded that, she would be on the next flight back to where she came from (without the "fake" ring).

[JFH 12,189]

Kyle seems like he is madly in love with his ungrateful wife. He has no family so I think he will do anything not to lose her, seems like he's afraid of being alone. He quit his job for her, he now moved across the country only because she wanted to be around Thai people, and she's still not happy. Maybe her family is just fishing for more money. If she wants to be near more Thai people, maybe he should sent her back to Thailand.

My wife and I have disliked Daya since the beginning. Remember when she arrived at the airport, and he gave her a nice big bouquet of flowers, she complained that they weren't roses. Then she made him take her to a jewelry store to verify that the ring was a real diamond. If my fiancé demanded that, she would be on the next flight back to where she came from (without the "fake" ring).

Oh yes Daya at Sea-Tac airport (it brought a tear to my eye as the very same airport has been the venue for many, many tearful goodbyes with my husband but I digress) and the flowers and the ring! Good thing she didn't get engaged to my hubby. My engagement ring was the black plastic ring on a bottle of Mountain Dew when you take the cap off.

Kyle is completely lovesick. He adores that girl but I'm starting to dislike her. It's America. It's not Thailand. It's different. Not necessarily better. Not necessarily worse. But different. Get used to it or go home.

[Crazy Cat 41,473]

I saw this show for the first time last week!! O...M...G !!!! I saw at least 3 couples who I give less than a 1% chance of lasting more than a year...I don't remember the names, but :

1. The weed grower and girl from Russia- Her tastes are too expensive.

2. The girl from Florida and guy from Morocco- Extreme culture shock

3. The lady and the guy from Nigeria- More red flags than I can describe in the space I have to write

Like someone else said......Like watching a train wreck.

Are some of these people actually on VJ?

[Pennycat 880]

On the contrary, Anfisa has stated multiple times that she wants to be famous and to be a model. What better place to do it than LA?

Very true. I guess I'm having a hard time seeing past the $10k/mo allowance request (which I know was likely a joke... I hope. But that's where my head was). I do still think she'd take up with anyone who could give her bottomless funds. Then she could jet set around the world to any photoshoot her heart desires.

Kyle seems like he is madly in love with his ungrateful wife. He has no family so I think he will do anything not to lose her, seems like he's afraid of being alone. He quit his job for her, he now moved across the country only because she wanted to be around Thai people, and she's still not happy. Maybe her family is just fishing for more money. If she wants to be near more Thai people, maybe he should sent her back to Thailand.

To play devil's advocate for a moment... he has no family, and just about the most portable profession on earth. Why should they stay in the US? So he can be around Americans and eat American food? So he doesn't have to give up his country and culture and friends (but not country, culture, friends and family like his wife...).

There is no shortage of Americans or American food in Thailand. I don't think that means that he should go or that he's selfish for not going (although, I could see someone's case for that opinion)-- just that what may seem unreasonable of her, might sound totally reasonable of him, and that's not a fair assessment of the situation.

Plus, her father could be legitimately very sick. They haven't said what it is, have they? What if it's some form of cancer and he has a 50% chance of living longer than a year? You'd want to be there even with the 50/50 chance you lose your green card. Because the other 50/50 chance (dad dying) is a significantly bigger deal than a green card and needing to apply for a spouse visa. And finally if something like this scenario is true, there are ways to apply for justifying leaving for so long and I think that would probably qualify.

[Pennycat 880]

Kyle is completely lovesick. He adores that girl but I'm starting to dislike her. It's America. It's not Thailand. It's different. Not necessarily better. Not necessarily worse. But different. Get used to it or go home.

She is trying to go home. That's what we're watching unfold. How they're going to navigate this wanting to go home vs wanting to stay married. At some point, she'll have to decide if she wants to be married to Kyle more, or go home more. Just like he'll have to decide if he wants to stay married to Noon more or stay in the US more. Barring some sort of compromise I can't quite picture, that is essentially what it boils down to which sucks but is true.

All of us here and our partners have made that decision at some point or another (and most of us here the decision was "want to be married more" and our foreign partners moved to the US). What really stinks is for people like Noon (and my husband, and countless other partners on VJ) who had to make that choice sight-unseen. I can't imagine. Truly, I cannot, and I remain in awe of their trust and bravery for doing it (even if the US is objectively "better" than any of these countries, which is a point I won't concede, it is still signing up to move to a foreign country long term to permanently that you have never once seen). I can't imagine how difficult having second thoughts/buyers remorse/ coming to the realization that this place is Not For You must be under these circumstances. At least if you chose the wrong university, you can transfer. Bought in a boring neighborhood? Can sell it. But their decision to move to the US is intrinsically wrapped up in someone who they love very much (enough to move for them) and it's not quite so easy to leave when "leaving" can mean divorce and heartache.

Edited October 13, 2016 by CatherineA

[ceisenbruch 53]

She is trying to go home. That's what we're watching unfold. How they're going to navigate this wanting to go home vs wanting to stay married. At some point, she'll have to decide if she wants to be married to Kyle more, or go home more. Just like he'll have to decide if he wants to stay married to Noon more or stay in the US more. Barring some sort of compromise I can't quite picture, that is essentially what it boils down to which sucks but is true.

All of us here and our partners have made that decision at some point or another (and most of us here the decision was "want to be married more" and our foreign partners moved to the US). What really stinks is for people like Noon (and my husband, and countless other partners on VJ) who had to make that choice sight-unseen. I can't imagine. Truly, I cannot, and I remain in awe of their trust and bravery for doing it (even if the US is objectively "better" than any of these countries, which is a point I won't concede, it is still signing up to move to a foreign country long term to permanently that you have never once seen). I can't imagine how much having second thoughts/buyers remorse/ coming to the realization that this place is Not For You must be under these circumstances. At least if you chose the wrong university, you can transfer. Bought in a boring neighborhood? Can sell it. But their decision to move to the US is intrinsically wrapped up in someone who they love very much (enough to move for them) and it's not quite so easy to leave when "leaving" can mean divorce and heartache.

oh no, this is gonna make me cry!!!

[JFH 12,189]

She is trying to go home. That's what we're watching unfold. How they're going to navigate this wanting to go home vs wanting to stay married. At some point, she'll have to decide if she wants to be married to Kyle more, or go home more. Just like he'll have to decide if he wants to stay married to Noon more or stay in the US more. Barring some sort of compromise I can't quite picture, that is essentially what it boils down to which sucks but is true.

All of us here and our partners have made that decision at some point or another (and most of us here the decision was "want to be married more" and our foreign partners moved to the US). What really stinks is for people like Noon (and my husband, and countless other partners on VJ) who had to make that choice sight-unseen. I can't imagine. Truly, I cannot, and I remain in awe of their trust and bravery for doing it (even if the US is objectively "better" than any of these countries, which is a point I won't concede, it is still signing up to move to a foreign country long term to permanently that you have never once seen). I can't imagine how difficult having second thoughts/buyers remorse/ coming to the realization that this place is Not For You must be under these circumstances. At least if you chose the wrong university, you can transfer. Bought in a boring neighborhood? Can sell it. But their decision to move to the US is intrinsically wrapped up in someone who they love very much (enough to move for them) and it's not quite so easy to leave when "leaving" can mean divorce and heartache.

I don't think any foreign spouses come into the country "sight-unseen". Even those who have never touched American soil prior to the immigrant visa being granted are in love with someone from that country and must therefore have a lot in common with that person and understand the culture otherwise what foundation does the relationship have? I'm fortunate to be from a VWP country and to have been able to visit over 40 times because of my job with an airline. I'm also from an English-speaking country. But the USA is still a foreign country to me. However, my husband is my soulmate. We share the same tastes in almost everything. We laugh at the same jokes. We want the same things in life. We have the same goals and desires. We have the same faith (a minority faith in both the UK and the US). He has always been fascinated by the UK and our history. The very first time I saw him he was wearing a Union Jack flag on his t shirt. I sometimes joke that he's more British than me (since I have dual nationality due to my parents being from two different countries). My husband isn't a foreigner to me. I am totally in tune with him and his way of life.

So what was it about Kyle that made Noon decide he was worth leaving everything for? He appears to be quite an average American man. He's never lived in Thailand so there must be something about his average American-ness that Noon could connect with. They must share some common values, interests, goals. So although she had never been to the country, she must have felt a connection to it because she fell in love with a 100% American boy.

And I think he is within his rights to be hesitant about moving to Thailand. He doesn't speak the language. What is healthcare like there? Would he want to raise children there? What about retirement plans? We don't know but maybe Kyle has a medical condition like diabetes or asthma that requires a constant supply of medication and good healthcare? What if he gets there and then someone close to him in the USA becomes sick with cancer and has a 50/50 chance of living? He isn't close to his mother but there were people at the wedding who were close to him (aunt? Cousin? Can't remember).

[Pennycat 880]

I don't think any foreign spouses come into the country "sight-unseen". Even those who have never touched American soil prior to the immigrant visa being granted are in love with someone from that country and must therefore have a lot in common with that person and understand the culture otherwise what foundation does the relationship have? I'm fortunate to be from a VWP country and to have been able to visit over 40 times because of my job with an airline. I'm also from an English-speaking country. But the USA is still a foreign country to me. However, my husband is my soulmate. We share the same tastes in almost everything. We laugh at the same jokes. We want the same things in life. We have the same goals and desires. We have the same faith (a minority faith in both the UK and the US). He has always been fascinated by the UK and our history. The very first time I saw him he was wearing a Union Jack flag on his t shirt. I sometimes joke that he's more British than me (since I have dual nationality due to my parents being from two different countries). My husband isn't a foreigner to me. I am totally in tune with him and his way of life.

So what was it about Kyle that made Noon decide he was worth leaving everything for? He appears to be quite an average American man. He's never lived in Thailand so there must be something about his average American-ness that Noon could connect with. They must share some common values, interests, goals. So although she had never been to the country, she must have felt a connection to it because she fell in love with a 100% American boy.

And I think he is within his rights to be hesitant about moving to Thailand. He doesn't speak the language. What is healthcare like there? Would he want to raise children there? What about retirement plans? We don't know but maybe Kyle has a medical condition like diabetes or asthma that requires a constant supply of medication and good healthcare? What if he gets there and then someone close to him in the USA becomes sick with cancer and has a 50/50 chance of living? He isn't close to his mother but there were people at the wedding who were close to him (aunt? Cousin? Can't remember).

I'm not saying he has to or even should consider it, I'm just pointing out that she's a person with wants and needs too and the US isn't all it's cracked up to be for 100% of the world's population. I think it's the "ungrateful" thing I'm reacting to. It's not ungrateful if it's just not a good match (and you had no way of knowing it wouldn't be) and you've got serious reasons to want to be back home. It's like people who manage to be miserable in college. It's not that they don't appreciate the education and opportunity. It's the fact that living in East Nowhere surrounded by a bunch of football devotees and a conservative faculty isn't really working out for them. Maybe they should have gone to NYU. Or trade school. People are different, you know?

Also, you surely must realize that your situation is really, really different than a lot of foreign spouses'. Having traveled so much in your life, period, and having visited the US several times is a really different worldview/perspective than someone who has never been on an airplane (my husband), and only left his own country once (to the neighboring country, which in the grand scheme of the world isn't that different at all. Sort of like Arkansas vs Tennessee in difference). This may not be Noon's experience, but it's possible and that really would change one's experience with immigration.

I don't think that sustaining a long term relationship with someone from a foreign country is anywhere near a close substitute for visiting there. It'll help get an idea of nuances of the culture in ways that even regular tourism can't but it's not the same. Even if it's not the country itself that is a bad match (which it certainly can be), what if the person themselves is just simply not good at being a fish out of water? And they never knew that about themselves? Your mileage may certainly vary (and it sounds like it does, which is awesome), but everyone is different and it looks like she may be on the extreme opposite end of the spectrum.

As for the logistics-- there's quality private medical care available in Thailand and it could be cheaper than buying Obamacare for the two of them (I'm not kidding) or paying out of pocket here (which I'm guessing is what they probably do). Children? Are they having any? Soon? Someone close to HIM gets sick too? Then they've got a real problem, just like an New York/ LA couple would if both their families had a medical crisis at the same time. But she has a current actual family medical crisis, not a hypothetical future one. Doesn't speak the language? She learned English somehow, and there are far more English speakers in Thailand than Thai speakers in the US. Again, not a reason why it'll all be ok for him but just from a matter of perspective and fairness. It's not like this was significantly easier for her to do than it would be for him.

[Mary Lou 681]

I saw this show for the first time last week!! O...M...G !!!! I saw at least 3 couples who I give less than a 1% chance of lasting more than a year...I don't remember the names, but :

1. The weed grower and girl from Russia- Her tastes are too expensive.

2. The girl from Florida and guy from Morocco- Extreme culture shock

3. The lady and the guy from Nigeria- More red flags than I can describe in the space I have to write

Like someone else said......Like watching a train wreck.

Are some of these people actually on VJ?

I feel bad for Pedro, its painful to watch because Chantel has him going along with the lie.I think he really does love her. When he met Father Chantel at the gym he should have spilled the beans, i cant imagine he is ok with her lying about him to her family.

A few of the people have profiles on VJ

[Crazy Cat 41,473]

I feel bad for Pedro, its painful to watch because Chantel has him going along with the lie.I think he really does love her. When he met Father Chantel at the gym he should have spilled the beans, i cant imagine he is ok with her lying about him to her family.

A few of the people have profiles on VJ

Exactly..

[Sandra G. 5,043]

Alexei's parents are overly dramatic,it will be a disaster if they move to the U.S because they will end up living with the couple.

[Kay&Epi 53]

Freakin Chantel. It looks so bad now. Because she waited so long to tell her family it now seems like Pedro is using her because they're now rushing to get married.

I actually feel bad for Mohammed because Danielle is screwing him finacially. It just sucks bc he said the lease is in his name and it also seems like some of the bills are in his name too. He wasn't expecting his situation to turn out that way and now he wants out.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I actually feel bad for Mohammed because Danielle is screwing him finacially. It just sucks bc he said the lease is in his name and it also seems like some of the bills are in his name too. He wasn't expecting his situation to turn out that way and now he wants out.

Small price to pay for maybe using her to get a greencard?

Edited October 17, 2016 by N-o-l-a

[LionessDeon 2,060]

I don't feel bad for Mohammad one tiny bit! He's a user. He never had any intention of staying married to Danielle.

Chantel's parents said they aren't mad at Pedro. They're angry with her and rightfully so. Shame on her putting Pedro in that spot to make him tell her parents about HER lie. Glad it threw it back to her.

Small price to pay for maybe using her to get a greencard?

Yep karma