Holding off filing AOS from K-1 Fiance Visa question

[Russ&Caro 1,549]

Again though, keep trying counselling, but it is helpful to note that no one really should be needing counselling a month or two into a marriage. Premarital maybe just to be sure, but not actual relationship counselling. I wish you the best and I hope it works out in what ever way is best for you and yours.

I found this assumption to be incorrect in mine and my wife's case. I went to personal counseling (about the marriage) in the first six weeks. After six months we did couples counseling. Now, 13 months after her arrival, the marriage is doing great.

I don't find the "honeymoon" idea to be very helpful. Marriage is hard, whether you're talking about the 1st month, 1st year, or 50th year.

Keep up with the counseling, and I hope everything works out to your benefit.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Blocking you on the phone and FB is a big red flag. What are his excuses ?

You mean blocking your number or not giving you his phone password ?

You will find something sooner or later to help you in the decision to buy him a ticket home if he keeps it up.

You had a very fast visa journey, 4 month from filing to POE is very fast for Zambia and he was able to keep his true colors from you

for such a little time. I would give it a year at least before filing and closely observe him.

Who cares what another medical will cost, making sure he is genuine is much more important.

How long did you know him before filing ? Were there any red flags in the beginning looking back ?

Keep your eyes wide open and don't let him fool you. I am very against bringing a beneficiary here and then holding filing

AOS over their head but in your case ,with his behavior change, I definitely would not sign any affidavit of support.

[Beth & Achraf 328]

Thank you all for your responses....my sentiments exactly - we should be in our honeymoon phase. It really breaks my heart to have to do hold off the AOS process or even come on this forum and ask such questions after everything I went through during the K-1 process and the financial commitment I put towards the process and for him and for us and now I am questioning things or his intentions. How can someone come here and start blocking you on facebook and on his phone? what are you hiding?

You fulfilled your obligations on the K1 , you married timely. You can do AOS later if all works out.

Be careful, keep eyes and ears open, listen to your head and NOT your heart, I know all what your thinking and going through, I've been there, did that years ago.....

The blocking game on social networks, the phone game, don't post pics of us, blah blah blah..... yep, something is definitely wrong with him.

Best wishes.

[Pearl1973 1]

Thank you all for your comments.

One of the other things that raised a red flag for me was he withheld some of the cash we received as wedding gift (basically lied that was all the money we had received when we were counting it together) and secretly sent the money to his kid's mom back home. I only found out a month later after I had taken his phone (without his consent of course) and found a western union receipt in his iphone pictures. He sent the money and some iTunes cards a couple of days after our wedding. I asked him why he would do such a thing, why would he not let me know since we are married (I do not have a problem with him helping out his children). I have bought them clothes, etc so there is no reason for this and he did not have a good answer but that he did not see a problem in what he did...really? He talks to the mother of his children behind my back and never told her that he is married or tell his kids. His phone is set to "do not disturb" until after 7am when I have left for work then he is on whatapp or immo. He has a password on his phone and when a call comes through you hear a beep but no caller ID or number as that goes with texts and he starts speaking in his language that I don't understand. So this is just another of his strange and deceitful behaviors that he is not remorseful about that infuriates me and now making me to be a person I don't want to be because I am hurting and disappointed. I really want to do right by my husband but he is making it so difficult and so scary. I don't want to hold the AOS over his head at all but I am so scared. I want things to work out but my head tells me that I maybe living a fantasy.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Ok, reality check. That takes it all to a whole new level. I bet he divorced the mother of his child to use you for a GC and as soon he

has it will dump you and get his ex and child over here.

If you think any marriage counseling will change him into an authentic and honest person you are mistaken.

He has a hidden agenda and will pursue it by any means like a tenacious pit bull and will play the game to stay afloat.

SEND HIM HOME. End it. It will definitely get worse and all his money will go home, you will suffer for it.

Let it go. Move on. Don't prolong this mess.

If you need more proof to convince yourself, contact a PI on some tips on how to see/read with your own eyes

what you have suspected all this time. It won't be pretty. Please move on.

[Unidentified 2,930]

Ok, reality check. That takes it all to a whole new level. I bet he divorced the mother of his child to use you for a GC and as soon he

has it will dump you and get his ex and child over here.

If you think any marriage counseling will change him into an authentic and honest person you are mistaken.

He has a hidden agenda and will pursue it by any means like a tenacious pit bull and will play the game to stay afloat.

SEND HIM HOME. End it. It will definitely get worse and all his money will go home, you will suffer for it.

Let it go. Move on. Don't prolong this mess.

If you need more proof to convince yourself, contact a PI on some tips on how to see/read with your own eyes

what you have suspected all this time. It won't be pretty. Please move on.

I agree 100% with this. He is just waiting for the perfect time to bring his children and the mother to the US.

[OfficiallyMrsU 9]

Honestly, him not posting Facebook pics of the wedding isn't that suspicious on its own-- some people just choose not to share some things so personal and intimate online. HOWEVER, everything else you've shared are red flags-- the biggest of them being that he didn't tell his kids or their mother that he is married. I am so sorry that this is happening to you....all of us Feb 2016 filers have all supported each other through this journey.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

This is not good at all. Please don't file AOS.

Be careful, don't hold it over his head as a threat or ultimatium. Just watch out for yourself and get him back home or out of your house as soon possible.

[USC1961 251]

One of the other things that raised a red flag for me was he withheld some of the cash we received as wedding gift (basically lied that was all the money we had received when we were counting it together) and secretly sent the money to his kid's mom back home. I only found out a month later after I had taken his phone (without his consent of course) and found a western union receipt in his iphone pictures.....

This behavior is what would raise a big red flag. The not wanting to post pictures on FB in itself may just be someone overly concerned about others snooping. From a privacy and security point of view, it is not recommended to post any information on facebook. However secretly sending money is something that is a deal breaker. And sorry to say, all the marriage counseling in the world won't fix it. Plan now to get divorced and send him packing. You have done right by your husband by doing so much for him, but sadly he's trying to con you. Hopefully he'll come clean and tell you what his plans were, just for your peace of mind. Good luck.

[Mike-eeh and Odie 193]

From what you are telling us it sounds like he is waiting for his green card. Once he has that, he will divorce you and petition his ex wife and kids over. This scam unfortunately happens a lot. Do not file AOS.

[milimelo 4,481]

Wow, you found yourself a scammer. Divorce right away and get him out of the house before he starts VAWA and goes for the GC that way.

He most likely divorced his kids' mother so he can get GC through you and will then divorce you to bring his family to the U.S.

Wonder how you two even met and what were the circumstances. Kids don't know about you?

[Pitaya 2,577]

~Moved from Fam.-based AOS to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits Forum~

~Similar topics are often discussed at this forum

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

I will say that, delay this process. Even if his I-94 expires so be it. If you are unsure now, take your time now that you have lots of power.

You don't want an affidavit of support over your head...

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Yes, sorry. I know it's hard to hear this, but he is scamming you. How did you meet? Did he contact you on facebook or something? Why don't his own kids know about you? What happened when you visited him? How many times did you visit?

Edited August 19, 2016 by Harpa Timsah

[B-2-Z 37]

I think you've already gotten some great advice, and I'm sorry you're going through this. You say he will talk on the phone, but only in his native language? You should pay the couple dollars and get one of the apps that will live translate for you. Just so you have absolute proof for yourself that this is what's really happening.