Letting Him in...

[GabachaYucateca 0]

Thanks for the view from the other side, Ana. I'm going to try my damndest to NOT do what he did when I was living in Mexico. Whenever I had a complaint or comment about life there, he made it seem like a personal affront to him. Of course, I can be pretty bitchy in my comments, so I imagine that my tone didn't help things.

I'm also more idependent than he, so I actually didn't need him to help me figure things out! But I actually like and thrive in a baptism by fire type of experience. I'll be much gentler with him, especially since he's not fluent in English. I'd like to give him "homework" assignments like going to the library and taking a book out on his own, but a friend said that was cruel! Actually, I suggested getting him a bus pass and having his day's assignment be to go to another city and find his way back! For me that would be exciting, but I think for others it might be scary!

[Mononoke28 135]

LOL!!! Oh my gosh, sounds like a punishment designed by a mother superior!. Take out the whip and let him have it.

[rob&ana 0]

Well...

I guess it all depends on how independent and comfortable he is with those assignments. I think that the library one

is not so bad, it'd actually make him try to communicate with other people. I've always been really independant, but when I came here, I got a case of the jitters. I thought that I'd get lost, and I wouldnt be able to find my way back, or that something would happen and Rob would never be able to find out. (As in, since there were absolutely no public records of my persona, I'd totally dissappear between the cracks)... I know it's silly, but your mind plays awful games.

The bus ride, well, maybe not go to another city. I'd use the bus pass just to loop around on the buses to get familiar with the layout of the city. I rode the bus, and I swear to god, I tried to memorize the things I'd seen in the way, just to try to visit those places on my next ride.

It takes a while, and like I said, even the most independent person will get a case of the jitters, and I think it's only normal.

Try not to be too hard on him...

[noviademexicano 0]

My husband has been here since July of last year, at first I pushed the English on him, and I think it made him feel overwhelmed. I laid off, and to my surprise, when he talks to others over the phone he speaks English well. He has become a fast learner, I think he is still embarassed to speak in front of me cuz I can be a control freak! But last time I said something in Spanish and I did not say it right, he was laughing at me. He is learning, I know it will take some time, but it is ok for now. It is just like when I went over to Mexico, things were different for me, but I toughed it out.

As long as you understand each other and are there for each other, love is the universal language.

Edited April 9, 2007 by noviademexicano

[GabachaYucateca 0]

It's funny...Edgar only rarely will speak English with me. He says I make him nervous but he can yap away with customers where he works just fine. I asked if he thought we'd start speaking in English together in the States, but he says, nope...it's been too long in Spanish to make the change. When I try it feels forced.

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

It's funny...Edgar only rarely will speak English with me. He says I make him nervous but he can yap away with customers where he works just fine. I asked if he thought we'd start speaking in English together in the States, but he says, nope...it's been too long in Spanish to make the change. When I try it feels forced.

kinda similarf with ana and i. ana has started using simple english phrases around me though. simple like "oh my god" "whatthe hell is that? (<-- my fave )

so i've started responsding with small phrases too. "yes, that is correct" "let's go" .. etc..

Daniel

:energetic:

[Mononoke28 135]

It's just odd to start speaking another language, it feels "fake".

[rebex05 1]

I would have to agree that it feels "fake," or at least strange. We had been talking about our wedding and in what language the ceremony will be in. I think it is important for it to be in what we know, which is spanish... just have to find a Spanish speaking pastor and not just anyone off the street. So it might just end up being my pastor I have known forever and we do our vows and some other parts in Spanish.

[GabachaYucateca 0]

My students were asking me about Edgar today, and said, "Well, of course you taught him English...you're an ESL teacher!" But he actually learned what he knows from working with tourists. And then another chimed in and said at least I probably switched to Spanish when arguing...nope, it's much easier to argue in Spanish...I have more practice! It's hard for me to express myself when angry in English.

He is still shocked that I don't understand Maya...can't quite figure out why I haven't picked it up along the way. I guess he thought I'd learn it by osmosis.

[trueimage 0]

Wow! Gabacha! You hit the nail on the head! It's like you read my mind. I have the same concerns. I worry about his adjustment 24 hours a day. (I've even worried that he will want to 'go back home'). I live on the border, so once he can travel, he can go home to visit anytime, but I still worry all the time. May be I'm worried about nothing.

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

Wow! Gabacha! You hit the nail on the head! It's like you read my mind. I have the same concerns. I worry about his adjustment 24 hours a day. (I've even worried that he will want to 'go back home'). I live on the border, so once he can travel, he can go home to visit anytime, but I still worry all the time. May be I'm worried about nothing.

you will be fine. especially since you live on the border.

now, if you lived in north dakota i'd start worrying.

Daniel

:energetic:

[trueimage 0]

Wow! Gabacha! You hit the nail on the head! It's like you read my mind. I have the same concerns. I worry about his adjustment 24 hours a day. (I've even worried that he will want to 'go back home'). I live on the border, so once he can travel, he can go home to visit anytime, but I still worry all the time. May be I'm worried about nothing.

you will be fine. especially since you live on the border.

now, if you lived in north dakota i'd start worrying.

Daniel

:energetic:

lol! I suppose you are right! It's just this whole process is full of uncertain unpredictable possibilities. Maybe one day when it's all over I'll look back and laugh???????

[athena_ny 1]

I just like to swear at my husband in Spanish. It sounds better.

^.^