Letting Him into My World

[GabachaYucateca 0]

X-posted in Latin America forum.

I'm interested in hearing about people's experiences with finally having their partner in the US when they've never been here before.

We've been together for so long, and I know his world so well. In fact, I lived in it for 5 years. Even when I went to visit him, it felt like going home since everything was so familiar to me. But I don't know how to act as a non-English speaking couple in the States! I'm perfectly comfortable with this in Mexico, but I have the feeling that once he's here, I'll never see the place that I spent the first 18 years of my life and the last 2 the same way again.

I know that we'll never really be fully part of the community I come from, nor fully part of the Latino population here. Not a bad thing by any means, as I'm always happiest and most alive when I'm slightly uncomfortable, but this'll be a whole new world for me here too.

This hasn't really come out as a question, but I guess I'm wondering if you all felt, well, weird to have your limited English speaking SO with you at first.

[LaGreenEyes 0]

Well I can identify, my husband is from Panama, and he had been to the U.S. but ten years before. I speak Spanish, and we live in Texas, so maybe it is different for us. There are always businesses for us to go to where we both can communicate well, though they are not right close to the suburb where I live. My husband has been here for a year now and his english has improved so much, he got the ingles sin barreras program and used that and it really helped. The only problem is here in Texas there is so much ####### right now about the illegal aliens and there has been a lot of discrimination and animosity lately. We personally don't have a problem, and one my husbands friends that he has made that lives a few streets down is illegal, but there are certain suburbs we will avoid going to just because of the perception that everyone brown is illegal. We don't feel like we aren't a part of the community, because the hispanic community here is getting bigger and stronger, and I am not hispanic..I'm 100% white bread american born but I learned spanish so long ago, and half of my friends have always been hispanic. Because we are in Texas things are much more on the Mexican side of the latino community, and he misses sometimes his Central American/Caribbean foods and music and stuff, but he likes Mexican food, mexican people, we've been to Mexico and he loved it. The hardest part is the english, and for him trying to understand all the different accents when speaking english. He can understand the New York accent very well, and the Texas/Southern accent it depends on the person really. He cannot understand the ghetto talk at all he says. What is funny, is when we speak Spanish in public and the people look at me like "oh my god what planet is she from?"

[GabachaYucateca 0]

I would actually love to move to the Southwest (NM, TX, AZ) because that's where my interest lies, but he doesn't want to! Little does he know (and he won't believe it until he sees it) that I live in a community full of immigrants from all over the world.

So many of the Hispanic people I know here are undocumented, so I'll be interested in seeing whether they'll accept him because he will be legal and won't have the same struggles to survive that they do. Although from what I have seen of Latino people from countries other than Mexico, is that people are generally supportive of each other. I have heard of some tensions, but from the people I've worked with, documented and undocumentes, people are generally pretty good to each other.

Even though we don't speak English together, my fiance has worked in Cancun for several years so he's got a bit of practice dealing with different accents. I am actually excited for him to see all these new things and meet all different kinds of people, although improving his English is really important to him. He's a bad student though when I'm his teacher...I used to give him homework in Mexico and he'd whine, although he's fine when other teachers give him homework to do!

[PMRS 0]

I can't teach my husband English either! We always speak in Spanish, although he occassionaly breaks out into English. He's at the point where he can read almost anything in English and tell me in Spanish what it's about, so we need to work on his productive Spanish. I also teach English, but at the elementary level where the students aren't afraid to try. It's soooooo different teaching adults, especially if it's your husband.

We live in California. Many of my friends are in biracial relationships. I'm not sure what will happen when he arrives. Fortunately we're in the Bay Area.

I am getting nervous. His interview is on May 4th and we're ecstatic, of course, but I'm also nervous because it will be a big adjustment. My friend Alma told me her first 6 weeks were the hardest for her, so I should spend lots of time with him.