Husband Deportation

[lady_america 1]

Hi to all VJ members and excuse me if I am posting in the wrong place.

I will write down my situation and I hope someone can help me as much as you can, thanks in advance.

I met a man online 3 years ago and we got married shortly after that, everything was great we were so in love and happy. Did couple of trips together and met his family couple of times. I was so happy. Our visa process was smooth, he came here to the US on a CR1 visa on March 2015, things were great first but it went down later. I am not working since then, he is the one who's working and I stay home. At first he was very loving to me and affectionate and will always buy me what I want, lately he started to cut out some purchases saying we need to save some money because we dont know what might happen to us. I wasn't happy with that because I like to have money always and to buy new things for me and my daughter (from my ex). Also, he started to work on weekends, saying that we need the money to live and pay bills and I should be grateful that he is a hardworker instead of being lazy sitting on couch all day drinking beer like my ex. i dont like that he works all the time and i told him that, he said then why dont I get a job even a part time one so we can have extra money this way he doesnt have to work this hard. I see this as he changed, now he wants me to work. Also he is not buying me flowers like he used to do before or spend time with me. His excuse is that he is very tired every day working from 5 am till evening so we all can live, I dont know why keeps throwing that in my face, he always reading news and talking to his family and friends which bother me, I told him about it and he said he can't just ignore his family and friends just because I want to. Anyway, I am not happy anymore with him and I want to divorce him. I told him that I want a divorce but I didnt file yet, I asked him to sleep on couch and not on same bed with me or to find somewhere to live. He said he will look to find some place. When he said that I felt that he didnt love me since the beginning because if he did then he wouldn't be fine with looking for places, he should be begging me for another chance or to do what I want to so he can stay married to me. I believe he used me to get here and now since he is here he changed. How can I report this fraud to get him deported? Or in another words, how can I get him deported since he have no reason to stay here anymore since our marriage is about to end?

Unfortunately we have a lot of joint financials, joint bills and joint lease, insurance and health insurance, joint taxes for 2015 and many other things. My questions are:

How can I make sure he get deported?

What are his chances to remove conditions on his own with a divorce waiver?

I didn't file for divorce yet because I wanted to know what is the best way to guarantee he will get deported or at least make it very hard for him to stay here.

Thanks everyone, looking forward your replies.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Are a you a troll?

Your spouse is working his ### off to pay the bills yet you are complaining.

So why can't you work as well since you like to have money always to buy new things for yourself and your daughter?

He is not your slave at your beck and call.

[p-ana 933]

You don't have the power to deport him. You should just divorce and move on. And from what you said his chances of removing condition on his own are really good.

[Ischnura 285]

Oh wow how entitled are you?! The man works his fingers to the bone and because you don't like how he's supporting his family you not only threw divorce in his face you want him shipped away from where he's clearly worked hard to build a life.

You can't have him deported and hopefully he moves on without you.

[lady_america 1]

Are a you a troll?

Your spouse is working his ### off to pay the bills yet you are complaining.

So why can't you work as well since you like to have money always to buy new things for yourself and your daughter?

He is not your slave at your beck and call.

I can't work because I have depression and social anxiety. I can't really handle people especially at work. The thing is he used to give me money and buy me things, now all what he says is that we need to save some money for bitter days. He changed.

You don't have the power to deport him. You should just divorce and move on. And from what you said his chances of removing condition on his own are really good.

But he came here for me, or that's what he says. Since I don't want him anymore why don't he go back?

[Ischnura 285]

Or maybe he's being logical and planning ahead. If you suffer from anxiety and depression you need to get help not just abandon your family life because the two clearly don't mix. Have you thought your husband might also be working so much because he also doesn't know how to cope with or manage your anxiety and depression either?

EDIT: Why should he 'go back'? He's built a life here the past three years. Sounds like you're the one who's changed.

Edited August 12, 2016 by Ischnura

[lady_america 1]

Oh wow how entitled are you?! The man works his fingers to the bone and because you don't like how he's supporting his family you not only threw divorce in his face you want him shipped away from where he's clearly worked hard to build a life.

You can't have him deported and hopefully he moves on without you.

That's what I want for him, to move on. Away from here, he claims that he came here for me and I don't want him anymore so what does he have to do here? What about if I send a letter to the USCIS saying that he used me or any thing can be said to make it harder for him to ROC?

We tried counseling and he is very different, he is very practical type of person and I am very emotional. All what he cares about is to make sure we are financially fine and paying the bills. I feel like he doesn't care about my emotions anymore like before.

Edited August 12, 2016 by lady_america

[p-ana 933]

I can't work because I have depression and social anxiety. I can't really handle people especially at work. The thing is he used to give me money and buy me things, now all what he says is that we need to save some money for bitter days. He changed.

But he came here for me, or that's what he says. Since I don't want him anymore why don't he go back?

It's his decision not yours. He's built a life here with you and if things aren't working, he has the choice to do whatever he wants.

[Ischnura 285]

You can send all the letters that you want. Purely from what you wrote initially the man came here in good faith and three years later he's still working hard but you don't like him not treating you like lady muck.

As I said previously, go see a Dr. Maybe your marriage is salvageable and you just need personal help, medication maybe, to lift you out of a rut.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

I can't work because I have depression and social anxiety. I can't really handle people especially at work. The thing is he used to give me money and buy me things, now all what he says is that we need to save some money for bitter days. He changed.

You think money drops from the sky, or pluck from your trees in your backyard?

Your spouse is being financially prudent to save money for rainy days.

It is very tough to survive on 1 salary alone for a family in US.

Any sane person will change given the stress level to work so many hours weekly to stay afloat.

But he came here for me, or that's what he says. Since I don't want him anymore why don't he go back?

He is not a piece of good that you can just return and ship back if you don't like it anymore.

Put on your big girl panties, seek help for your illness and work on your marriage.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Since I don't want him anymore why don't he go back?

He is not something you bought at the mall. You made him a permanent resident and now he has the same right to live in the US as all others.

Must be a troll.

[dwheels76 5,468]

This can not be serious. Your husband isn't a puppy from the pound "Since I don't want him anymore why don't he go back?".

You said you wany a divorce, get out the room sleep on couch and find a new place. He said okay. Ummmm sounds like a level headed man to me. You seem to be the one doing nothing to help the situation or marriage.

[kingjulian 80]

You're the lazy one here. Get your ### up and get busy with work to help him and stop giving such stupid excuses

[lady_america 1]

You think money drops from the sky, or pluck from your trees in your backyard?

Your spouse is being financially prudent to save money for rainy days.

It is very tough to survive on 1 salary alone for a family in US.

Any sane person will change given the stress level to work so many hours weekly to stay afloat.

He is not a piece of good that you can just return and ship back if you don't like it anymore.

Put on your big girl panties, seek help for your illness and work on your marriage.

I do have depression and anxiety since I was 19 and I am medication since then. He fails to understand that I need special treatment and he always tell me that staying home alone all day will only make me feel worse, which I believe it's insensitive to say that for me.

He is not something you bought at the mall. You made him a permanent resident and now he has the same right to live in the US as all others.

Must be a troll.

I know, I made him PR and I want to take that back.

This can not be serious. Your husband isn't a puppy from the pound "Since I don't want him anymore why don't he go back?".

You said you wany a divorce, get out the room sleep on couch and find a new place. He said okay. Ummmm sounds like a level headed man to me. You seem to be the one doing nothing to help the situation or marriage.

My only concern is that I don't want to be his sponsor for the next 7-8 years, under the I-864.

[Ischnura 285]

Maybe you should take a leaf out of his book and be realistic. Tough luck on the responsibility front, though I highly doubt he's going to want anything from you after the divorce since he works like mad.

Think I'm done with this thread. Not a fan of the whole self righteous "how do I deport my spouse" #######.