Imagine going through all of this for many wives!

[a&o 4]

Saw this and in light of all the difficulties in getting a spouse to the U.S., how do some people manage to engage in polygamy while going through immigration? Very interesting.

(It's also sad to me to see this kind of press concerning a Ghanaian again, since the people I know who don't know much about Ghana end up thinking this is the norm. I half expect some cousin to ask O if he'll be bringing more wives over! )

"In Secret, Polygamy Follows Africans to N.Y." (New York Times)

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/23/nyregion...&ei=5087%0A

[blah0323 0]

When I learned this through the fire, I thought what?? But am I missing something how do they bring over another wife, when they have already married in the states? No wonder things are so rough coming out of Africa with all the stuff in the media. And you know some people leave by the media.

[LovinLiberia 0]

“Even me,” she added. “My husband went to find another wife in Africa, and he has the right to do that. They tell you nothing, until one afternoon he says, ‘O.K., your co-wife arrives this evening.’ ”

Wow, I could NOT imagine my husband doing that to me. Must be horrible to realize that you are about to open your home to his new love. The article was very interesting and sheds alot of light on the issue of polygamy in the African culture. Thanks for sharing that.

[Dan J 277]

Some women could be submissive and don't brave enough to say NO. In indonesia especially where the majority is muslim, polygamy is allowed and there's a surah mentioned about it. And some men using it as the way to legalize their act over bringing another woman into the house. There are examples :

There's this one old guy, I forgot his name, has 9 wives ( Yes, 9 !) and they live in one same house. Or should I say 9 harems instead of wives. He was on the news and on showtalks on national television. He could be proud of himself but I was so sick to death to see him on TV.

Another polygamist has hiw own restaurant called "wong solo", he's a sick guy too with 4 wives. He even put "polygamy juice" in his menu. Also, he held "polygamy award" event and gave out awards to polygamists. Sicko.

Over here, In Indonesia, the general idea is a woman who gives a concent to her husband for polygamy will go to heaven. I say, F**k it, there are other ways to go to heaven. Really, woman should stand for herself and dare to say NO.

Sorry if it's out of topic. My feminist side just jump out everytime I hear about polygamy.

Excuse my grammars.

[Niels Bohr 72]

This is truly unfortunate indeed.

[ForeverAmen 0]

I am speechless.

Edited March 24, 2007 by Boaz

[LovinLiberia 0]

I am speechless.

That's how I felt...

[Nagishkaw 510]

Strength, stamina, energy, and endurance....and a good supply of viagra? Seriously, that situation is twisted.

[forchika 4]

I was pretty shocked also, from reading that article that this happened in the US also because it is against the law. There is no way that I could ever attempt to live in my household with his other wife. That would not work at all !!!!!! Blah0323 asked a good question does sound like it should not be possible unless they had to do some covering up for the real reason for bringing over someone else. Funny you should post this because that is the first thing someone told me when I said I was marrying a Nigerian but, they live by the Christian religion also, I knew a guy from Egypt and he was muslim and his religion believed in it also, but he said his mom was not having that so, I guess it depends on the individual.

[taurean 0]

I can't say I am shocked, because I had heard about this kind of thing. But I am really saddened for the women involved. Nine times out of ten multiple wives is not a good situation. And though the folks in the story are Muslim, I have heard of this happening with African Christians as well, though the instances are less because Christianity forbids multiple wives as we know. The polygamy was in the culture before the religion came in. What I don't understand is how the men bring these women here, into a precarious situation and then have them living in terrible conditions and on top of that abusing them. Luckily a few of the women have stood up for themselves and decided not to accept the situation!!

[blah0323 0]

Luckily a few of the women have stood up for themselves and decided not to accept the situation!!

Thank goodness some have stood up, but do you think it will make them scrutinize African more on Visa process. I think that is the downer there.

[taurean 0]

Luckily a few of the women have stood up for themselves and decided not to accept the situation!!

Thank goodness some have stood up, but do you think it will make them scrutinize African more on Visa process. I think that is the downer there.

Therein is the problem. When I was at my fiance's interview there was a family that was interviewed before us and the husband was questioned about whether he had more than one wife. So yes, I think there is a bias. I think ( and this is just my opinion) that there is going to be additional scrutiny for Africans anyway because of economics and the perceived proclivity for fraud, but the added news that this type of situation is going on will make it even more difficult.

[ReggaeDancer2 0]

I saw a special on polygamy in the north of Ghana. The women were hurt and cried because they did not get enough attention from their husbands. They said the men loved polygamy, but the women hated it. I know I could not handle being one of many wives. Thank God my husband isn't able to handle more than one woman at a time!

[NaijaPrincess Need NaijaPrince 0]

Well in my opinion, I think that if both parties (the US citizen & the spouse) agree to polygamy....fine. They should grant the visa granted the immigrant would not be a public charge on the governemt. Who are we to judge them and tell them that they can not practice their religion if polygamy is a principle belief. The problem comes when a USC marries someone and thinks that she is the 1 and only. In countries where that is the norm, that is why they do extensive "background checks".

Ladies.....

Do you not think that in all fairness, women should be able to marry many husbands too?!!

[a&o 4]

"Do you not think that in all fairness, women should be able to marry many husbands too?!! laughing.gif"

Tee hee...

The thing is: it made some sense in agrarian societies where more children die than survive past infancy to have more than one wife so as to keep the population running and have enough help growing food and raising animals...but in New York City in the 21st Century? What is the essential purpose? Doesn't it lead to more suffering and more children who don't lead lives that enjoy the best nutrition, emotional support, and education opportunities? If ithe purpose is religion: how do those conditions please God?

Well, I guess it's a bigger discussion than anyone wants to get into here while we're busy fretting over immigration stuff!