He slept all night outside, cheating yes

[zaynab 4]

It's easy for us to say leave him, get out, and move on, but where is she going to go? She admitted not having any money, no job, no car, no family here, what options does she really have? A shelter? Have any of you actually stayed in one? The conditions must suck big time. Is it safe there?

One option is call family and ask for some money, if even possible, to get out on your own. Look for a job and a place to live.

I actually had a talk with my wife the other day about this. If we ever divorced, she would just go back to her home country (even though she has a full-time job and US citizenship). The only reason that she is here is to be with me. If that ends, she would prefer to be with family. And she couldn't afford to pay for an apartment, utilities, food, etc on her salary. And she would be incredibly lonely.

OP,

Are you sure that you would want to live in the US alone? This is something that you need to ask yourself.

I just saw your question:

I will decide where to live as soon as i move on, no problem for me the place where i can leave, first time i came to live with him, the marriage was first , then i moved here, so not sure when i will be alone where i will live

[RodDetroit 118]

Was this an arranged marriage?. I dont know where you come from but if he was raised in the US with western valious and this was an arranged marriage chances are that he never loved you and maybe he didnt feel he was cheating if that what really happens, any ways, this is just one side of the story, if you are really concern about your marriage you two should visit a shrink rather than disclosing your marriage issues on an immigration website. If you never bothered to look for a job and make your own friends that's on you.

[zaynab 4]

Was this an arranged marriage?. I dont know where you come from but if he was raised in the US with western valious and this was an arranged marriage chances are that he never loved you and maybe he didnt feel he was cheating if that what really happens, any ways, this is just one side of the story, if you are really concern about your marriage you two should visit a shrink rather than disclosing your marriage issues on an immigration website. If you never bothered to look for a job and make your own friends that's on you.

what do u mean by arranged marriage?

i have a job

the story from my side is exactly like from both sides

Edited August 9, 2016 by zaynab

[stfiii 33]

When you choose a spouse it's because you marry your best friend and lover.

For your relationship to remain healthy their needs to be good clear open lines of communication, honesty, and trust.

You should be able to talk to your partner and discuss what happened, and there shouldn't be any anger from either person. You have a right to know where he was and what he was up to.

If you are unable to have a healthy conversation about what happened with your spouse, if he is defensive or angry, then there is something more going on.

It doesn't mean that he cheated on you, but perhaps he is just not happy in the relationship.

Either way, for both of you, you only have this one life, you both deserve to be happy and be with the person that makes you happy. If this is not a healthy fulfilling relationship, and talking it out with your partner doesn't make things better, then it's time to move on.

Good luck.

[Meg&Andrew 297]

I have been on both sides of this to be completely honest. People cheat, and it's unfortunate and it's a very terrible thing to do to someone. I have watched this happen and completely ruin a relationship. Even if things were to go back to normal before the cheating, the trust will never be there. Unfortunately, as stated most people wont admit to cheating. Thus being a marriage, i'm not sure how I would feel about staying with a cheater, but my advice from my stand point would be to have a heart to heart with him. See if he will admit to the cheating. If he does, that's one step in showing some sort of remorse for what he did. If he does admit to it, is he sorry for doing it? Does he realize it's a huge mistake, and want to make it up to you in any way possible? If not, move on. If he does admit, and does honestly feel bad about it, maybe you guys can work on your marriage. That being if you think you can possibly move past the cheating. If you don't think you can, then it's time to move on. I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

[markandrizzatyler 14]

It's easy for us to say leave him, get out, and move on, but where is she going to go? She admitted not having any money, no job, no car, no family here, what options does she really have? A shelter? Have any of you actually stayed in one? The conditions must suck big time. Is it safe there?

One option is call family and ask for some money, if even possible, to get out on your own. Look for a job and a place to live.

I actually had a talk with my wife the other day about this. If we ever divorced, she would just go back to her home country (even though she has a full-time job and US citizenship). The only reason that she is here is to be with me. If that ends, she would prefer to be with family. And she couldn't afford to pay for an apartment, utilities, food, etc on her salary. And she would be incredibly lonely.

OP,

Are you sure that you would want to live in the US alone? This is something that you need to ask yourself.

I cant imagine how anyone could do this . because I love my wife i have set up a special bank account just for her, and am encouraging her to get her licence ( i already bought her a car that is all hers) God forbid our relationship fails, but if it did i want to make sure she never feels trapped so far from home . I am the reason she is coming to the US . How people can bring someone here and treat them poorly .

[zaynab 4]

When you choose a spouse it's because you marry your best friend and lover.

For your relationship to remain healthy their needs to be good clear open lines of communication, honesty, and trust.

You should be able to talk to your partner and discuss what happened, and there shouldn't be any anger from either person. You have a right to know where he was and what he was up to.

If you are unable to have a healthy conversation about what happened with your spouse, if he is defensive or angry, then there is something more going on.

It doesn't mean that he cheated on you, but perhaps he is just not happy in the relationship.

Either way, for both of you, you only have this one life, you both deserve to be happy and be with the person that makes you happy. If this is not a healthy fulfilling relationship, and talking it out with your partner doesn't make things better, then it's time to move on.

Good luck.

i asked him along time ago if he is not happy he can divorce me, but if he cant i will, because i'm doing more than my best to makes his life happy, probably he is in loves with another woman thats why he is just looking for excuses to go out

[zaynab 4]

I have been on both sides of this to be completely honest. People cheat, and it's unfortunate and it's a very terrible thing to do to someone. I have watched this happen and completely ruin a relationship. Even if things were to go back to normal before the cheating, the trust will never be there. Unfortunately, as stated most people wont admit to cheating. Thus being a marriage, i'm not sure how I would feel about staying with a cheater, but my advice from my stand point would be to have a heart to heart with him. See if he will admit to the cheating. If he does, that's one step in showing some sort of remorse for what he did. If he does admit to it, is he sorry for doing it? Does he realize it's a huge mistake, and want to make it up to you in any way possible? If not, move on. If he does admit, and does honestly feel bad about it, maybe you guys can work on your marriage. That being if you think you can possibly move past the cheating. If you don't think you can, then it's time to move on. I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

I will never be the same like before , he don't speak and will never speak, he probably wants me to go cook for him right now, and clean the house like i do always, and apologize because he found me up last night and i saw him , he is not like you imagine, he is very difficult , like his cousin told him one day : he told him your wife is spoiling you a lot, making you feels a special, but still i got nothing from the way how I' m treating him,

[zaynab 4]

I cant imagine how anyone could do this . because I love my wife i have set up a special bank account just for her, and am encouraging her to get her licence ( i already bought her a car that is all hers) God forbid our relationship fails, but if it did i want to make sure she never feels trapped so far from home . I am the reason she is coming to the US . How people can bring someone here and treat them poorly .

I wish if i have the 1/4 of your wife's luck, i got nothing from him, and was never looking for something more than affection and love and marriage. i bought my own car after 2 years from my stay in USA, he has another car just sitting at the house i was always begging him just to smog it so i can use it, he never did, i ended up working and saving money to buy one. and was proud i bought it from my own job, he was saying i was toooo late to find a job.i bought one with no help from him, no help even emotional help, he fight with me while i asked him to go with me to see the car he said this is not his job.

he always tells me my job at the house is to clean and cook , he never encouraged me to do anything, but to be serious he always makes me feel depressed and dis encouraged , i never heard him saying WAW you made it, i'm very proud of you, he is very aggressive, he likes the international women just because they have a nice accent , and because they will never ask him for anything period when they get married with him, he always says he never wanted to be married, he likes to live his life like he wants, like a bird , and he doesn't like to feed or to be responsible for any body, those are his words that i remember

Edited August 9, 2016 by zaynab

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

You have already stayed too long with this douche bag. Don't be afraid to be on your own you will love it !

Take some classes, pursue a hobby to meet other people and make friends.

[zaynab 4]

You have already stayed too long with this douche bag. Don't be afraid to be on your own you will love it !

Take some classes, pursue a hobby to meet other people and make friends.

Thanks a lot for your support, i was programming to take a master degree he said education is nothing, and life education is way better, i went to the gym he said don't go anymore its better to watch my food, and clean more the house because the household is a sport, i had a friend from my last job he said she looks like a lesbian, this is how he see things

Edited August 9, 2016 by zaynab

[begood 8]

Thanks a lot for your support, i was programming to take a master degree he said education is nothing, and life education is way better, i went to the gym he said don't go anymore its better to watch my food, and clean more the house because the household is a sport, i had a friend from my last job he said she looks like a lesbian, this is how he see things

Oh my god, i can tell what kind of man he s, his never satisfied, never happy, nothing makes him feels happy,

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

He sounds like a drug addict with very low self esteem and can't handle you bettering yourself.

You will feel like a mountain dropped off your shoulders when you have moved out and moved on

and he can do his own cooking and cleaning. Geez what a looser.

[USAMorocco 143]

Not saying he did or didn't cheat but if he was very drunk it's not hard for someone in a blackout to o stupid things like take a shower with clothes on or fall into a lake or river. None the less I would divorce him and move on if this is how he treats you. A woman or a man shouldn't have to beg for their spouse's attention.

[Indyiale32 14]

I think you need to stop whining on here and actually talk to him and ask him what has been going on. What money for shoping do you need, make a list of things you need and if he is willing to go grocery shoping for you hey more power to him. If he is working his ### of for you and you dont work more power for him. Be more comunicative with your husband, just because he goes out and drinks doesnt mean he is cheating. Maybe he was out with friends, and since you think something bad could have happened why did you not call him. I dont think you cared as much as you trying to say it here.

I have a friend who also keeps on throwing a fit, complaining, and whinning about cheating and on and on and onnnnnnn...Yet the man is working his ### off, to take care of her her kid and the kid they have together. Give it a break, pull back a little, communicate, and then see where it takes you.

We are all too fast to judge.