Large age difference between petitioner and beneficiary

[Kastrs 723]

Ask him to bring to the interview as much as evidence to prove your real relationship. Specifically the hand_written Letters and cards from you, your relatives. Western Union money transfer slips,pictures taken while Skype

I would not recommend this for a K1 case (money transfer receipts)

Face time is always the most important followed by ongoing regular communication

[Unidentified 2,930]

I would not recommend this for a K1 case (money transfer receipts)

Face time is always the most important followed by ongoing regular communication

I agree NEVER bring money transfer receipts.

[junaidjackie2016 10]

htfaust,

Wow...31 years! But unfortunately, it seen differently when it's a woman who is older than the man, as is my case. But yes...from what I've been reading, 11 years, even if it's the woman that is older, is not such a great difference after all.

Tommal, thank you for these suggestions!

LionnesDion, great points...thanks so much!

[junaidjackie2016 10]

Kastrs,

We're both so not into skype and facetime...but I know it's important. But, I hate doing something just for proof...

[Cathi 5,782]

Hello All,

First, I just want to thank all of you for your questions and contributions, and support in general. I love coming on here and knowing that we're all going through shared journeys...for love!

I am really concerned, and it may not be a big deal...but just not sure. I'm 11 years older than my fiance, and I am the petitioner. According the VJ, our file will be adjudicated in the next few weeks. But, I'm worried that I may receive an RFE because they might see the age difference (especially because I'm a much older, female petitioner) as a big red flag.

Is anyone in a similar situation and if so, how has the process been for you? Any challenges due to the age difference?

Thank you so much!

Jackie

They cannot discriminate based on age alone. I am 20 years older than my husband an our age difference didn't come up once, even with many other so called "red flags". My husband has been here for 4 years.

[farzram 11]

Being from Afghanistan which neighbors Pakistan I can understand "cultural norms" being very similar.

I think obviously like all the helpful Posters told you- bring as much proof to show its a bonafide relationship, pictures, chat logs etc. (I also don't agree to the money transfers receipts I've heard a lot of instances esp. in Muslim countries that the embassy looks at that as bribery or dowry) it's mostly upto the embassy to scrutinize your age difference or not.

Although 11 years isn't that huge of a difference (I don't think it is) in Pakistan embassy's eyes- a male (most likely Muslim) is marrying a woman OLDER by 11 years .... Which if the tables were turned and the MAN in the relationship was 11 years older than the woman in Pakistan - it probably wouldn't be scrutinized or looked into as much.

Also- they may consider your religious differences (if there is any). Different religions and age gap with woman being older is going to need ALOT of evidence the relationship is genuine and real. I agree with a PP that obviously if he can have the interview in UK it wouldn't be scrutinized as much most likely- but in Pakistan (because of high fraud also) just like Afghanistan (I've heard many stories) they will probably look more into it.

But just be well prepared and God willing you will be JUST FINE !

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Kastrs,

We're both so not into skype and facetime...but I know it's important. But, I hate doing something just for proof...

facetime = how many days have you visited face to face.

[junaidjackie2016 10]

Lioness Dion,

We've only done it once since we've known each other...and I was sooo uncomfortable lol...we just haven't done it again.

Farzram, religions are the same Alhamdullilah but yes...you're right about how it looks to Pakistanis to be marrying an older woman...kinda suspicious. But anyway, inshAllah the interview will be in London but I am worried we don't have enough evidence to show...we both are not facetime/skype people.

And THANK YOU Farzram for your kind words

Edited August 8, 2016 by junaidjackie2016

[Unidentified 2,930]

Lioness Dion,

We've only done it once since we've known each other...and I was sooo uncomfortable lol...we just haven't done it again.

Farzram, religions are the same Alhamdullilah but yes...you're right about how it looks to Pakistanis to be marrying an older woman...kinda suspicious. But anyway, inshAllah the interview will be in London but I am worried we don't have enough evidence to show...we both are not facetime/skype people.

And THANK YOU Farzram for your kind words

How long since you actually met, spent time together in the same place? Is it within the last 2 years?

[junaidjackie2016 10]

Maria&Seve,

Yes...I went to visit him twice...first in November and then more recently in late May.

[Cathi 5,782]

and I just want to add, we had few Western Union transfers that I gave as evidence and they were never mentioned. Maybe because we were married and it was a CR-1, I'm not sure. But I just wanted to point out that giving them as evidence does not always equal an automatic denial. My husband is from a so called "T" country, we had many red flags-large age difference(I'm 20 years older), different religion, married on my first visit to Jordan, I'm divorced with children. Our immigration journey was smooth from start to finish with not even so much as an RFE at any point. I didn't find Visa Journey until after my husband's case was already at the NVC and he had his case number, so everything up until that point was done 100% on my own with no help from anyone other than one suggestion from a friend. To be honest, even as good as this site is and how much it was a great help the guides were when we were removing conditions, I am happy I didn't come across it earlier. If I had read all the posts from people saying what you should and shouldn't send, and all of the RFEs would have made me anxious. I just sent my packet with what was required to send according to the directions in the I-130. I threw in a few pictures(literally 4), my passport stamps and a few Western Union Transfers. The only reason I put those few extra things in is because someone I know had immigrated here from Chile many years ago told me it might be a good idea. I guess ignorance IS bliss in some cases. I wasn't worried or anxious about anything, I didn't check the status of the I-130 because I wasn't aware I could. We received our NOA2 after about 90 days, and I was excited that was all it took. I had no idea about timelines or whether or not we were within "normal processing times". I think some people over think the process sometimes and what may be good for one consulate isn't good enough for another. After finding this site I read that I should bring tons of extra evidence to the interview at the consulate(I attended with my husband) so I made this HUGE package with email, texts, phones bills, skype conversations..the list goes on and on. I was under the impression that if I didn't produce all of this evidence we would surely be denied and that our destiny would be to live the rest of our lives in Jordan, that our life in the US would never happen. They didn't ask to see ANY of it.

I think that people need to do research on their specific countries, and their specific visa and make decisions based on that. The process is stressful enough and comparing yourself to others will literally drive you insane. After I found this site I had people say to me that there was NO way we would be approved at our interview because of our age difference. I lost sleep, I couldn't eat, I was MISERABLE. Guess what? They NEVER brought it up. So try to relax if you can and trust me, age difference will not be the single deciding factor. It is your case as a whole.

Edited August 8, 2016 by mimolicious

[junaidjackie2016 10]

Mimolicious,

Thank you so very much for your information. I actually feel so much more relieved after reading your post. And your home is gorgeous! Thank you again!!

[farzram 11]

No problem! I think you will be fine and mimolicous is a fine example of things working out okay.

Although your a K1 and it's different- I think the same religion will go a long way at the interview in Pakistan. 11 years isn't that much and just take all the chat logs you guys have showing you have been keeping in constant contact throughout the relationship- it's also good you guys have visited more than once.

P.S. Me and my fiancé don't skype or FaceTime because internet connection is terrible where he is- but we have plenty of pictures of when we were together (which you said you have) and you also have chat logs I'm assuming. Keep your head up and inshallah everything will be just fine !

If your package is put well together you may not get an RFE. Just prepare for interview- age is nothing but a number remember that and don't stress.

[Kastrs 723]

facetime = how many days have you visited face to face.

Yes that is what I am referring to, thanks for clarifying.

The most important thing is how much face time you have, time you have spent together

Skype screenshots and the like are helpful, but actual face time is the most helpful to substantiate the relationship

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

your age difference is not as large as ours

we did have a struggle to get the visa but we are together in the US

but you should have photos of yourself with his family / very important in his culture