Is there anyway I can bring my wife to US while her spouse visa is processing?

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

There were few other lies as well and interference from her step mother sisters giving her training on how to control husband. After living with her for 20 days and coming back to US as I found these lies I confronted her and lectured her a few times. I later checked her facebook history and all which showed she's searching for ex boyfriend name until this day on facebook. She also went to cafe with another friend who gets really close to her and almost leaning on her while taking pictures. I confronted her on that as well and now she's being more sneaky. I really don't want her if she don't have any respect for this marriage and want to keep sleeping with ex boyfriend or other guy friend. It's driving me insane, I can't sleep more then 4 hours each night. I haven't told her yet that I found out about her exboyfriend because her step mother wants the marriage to not work out and get alimony. I have worked way to hard to lose it all to this girl.

Move on! She's not even here and is trying to get your money

Start bldg your case. Get all the evidence you need.

Move on find a better match if you belive in arranged marriage....

Look at this as a blessing imagine she gets here brings him or supports him with your money she plans on taking.....

Edited August 3, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[Unidentified 2,930]

Kind of sounds to me like she didn't want to be in this arranged marriage. Divorce and move on.

[Ontarkie 14,237]

~~Inappropriate post removed. Post constructively or do not post.~~

[KierenHby 899]

Two scenarios:

1. You could just be overthinking and jealous: She could just be a modern type girl unlike traditional Indian girls from rural areas. She might simply be hanging out with her friends (guys or girls). In that case you are just overthinking and you should refrain yourself in thinking that way which might hamper the relationship in the long run. Let the immigration process run at its own pace. You could just be few months away for getting together.

2. You could be right: If what you are saying about your newlywed wife is true, if she is really having affair in your absence, isn't it best to be away from her? Isn't it best not to bring her here coz you don't know if in fact she is like that, she could do the same even after coming to the US.

Affairs are usually discreet, she would not be posting close-up pics on fb if having an affair as a married girl.

Maybe she's just being friendly-close with her guy\gal friends; OP could be the conservative type who may not be able to understand such endearing terms of affection among close friends. She could just be enjoying life among long-time friends while waiting to join the hubby. Having seen Indian culture up close, that is an unintended side effect of an arranged marriage.

A lot could be surmised from OP's interactions with his wife over the phone\skype\whattsapp; is she always available to talk to her husband, or making excuses when it's time to chat. Does she talk about her friends (the one's she's taking pictures with), or does she keep her friends hush-hush. Those are important clues to her behavior.

[ankush 1]

Affairs are usually discreet, she would not be posting close-up pics on fb if having an affair as a married girl.

Maybe she's just being friendly-close with her guy\gal friends; OP could be the conservative type who may not be able to understand such endearing terms of affection among close friends. She could just be enjoying life among long-time friends while waiting to join the hubby. Having seen Indian culture up close, that is an unintended side effect of an arranged marriage.

A lot could be surmised from OP's interactions with his wife over the phone\skype\whattsapp; is she always available to talk to her husband, or making excuses when it's time to chat. Does she talk about her friends (the one's she's taking pictures with), or does she keep her friends hush-hush. Those are important clues to her behavior.

She's secretive and keep hush hush about her friends. She had boyfriends before and probably wasn't a virgin. She is hiding way too much and it's getting ridiculous.

[Unidentified 2,930]

She's secretive and keep hush hush about her friends. She had boyfriends before and probably wasn't a virgin. She is hiding way too much and it's getting ridiculous.

In what way is her previous sex life relevant? Stop being so jealous.

[ankush 1]

In what way is her previous sex life relevant? Stop being so jealous.

I was saving myself until marriage but I have accepted the fact now days it's a miracle if someone saves themselves until marriage. But at least don't cheat on me now. I am having hard time sleeping every night thinking of this and she on some other topics have told me I have a choice or why I am compromising my life on her. She clearly shown she don't care but then sometimes she makes me feel special. I am so damn confused and only way to figure this out is if I can be with her for at least 6 months to year but then her visa process will stop

[B&Z 201]

Where is she at in the visa process? Depending on the stage, you can drag it out for a year (or more) without having to start over again. You can just pick up where you left off (though you might need a joint sponsor by then, but it's common to have a joint sponsor).

[ankush 1]

Where is she at in the visa process? Depending on the stage, you can drag it out for a year (or more) without having to start over again. You can just pick up where you left off (though you might need a joint sponsor by then, but it's common to have a joint sponsor).

Filed I 130 few months ago and no approval yet. I don't trust her enough to stay there by herself with my old parents.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Filed I 130 few months ago and no approval yet. I don't trust her enough to stay there by herself with my old parents.

If you feel so admient you should or i would cancel. Divorce and hope to find a better spouse. Thats being honest.

You know she marries into your family per your culture so is her behavoir that of the daugther your mom will want.

Especially older Indian parents prob set in their ways and traditions.

Edited August 3, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[B&Z 201]

You don't have a viable option for expediting your case. You have the choice of leaving work and going to be there to watch her constantly for 6-12 months (and getting a joint sponsor if you decide to move ahead with the petition/visa application after that), or sit and wait for her to get her visa and come to you in the US and give it 6-12 months, or end it now (with divorce or annulment).

Some things you should be thinking about: Do you think you'll be able to trust her when she's surrounded by American culture? Would you be able to trust her whenever she's out of the house and she's not with you? When WOULD you be able to trust her?

The deep jealousy you feel and your intentions for controlling her will lead to an abusive marriage (NOT saying physically abusive, but controlling other people's lives in the way you seem to be leaning toward is indeed extremely unhealthy). Divorce her (or get an annulment) and marry someone you can trust from day one. (Counseling for yourself is also a good option because it seems like you've got some things to work on within yourself in order to have a healthy relationship).

You can't live your life by putting so much of your energy into keeping someone else away from the opposite sex or watching their every move; timing their commutes to and from work so you can question them about why they're late; interrogating them constantly any time you see them talking to another man for any reason. You'll end up incredibly exhausted and your spouse will deeply resent you for it. Controlling behavior always ends up creating results that are completely opposite from what the controller wants...it pushes the other person away. The controlled person will end up leaving the situation one way or another.

Edited August 3, 2016 by B&Z

[sap283 0]

There were few other lies as well and interference from her step mother sisters giving her training on how to control husband. After living with her for 20 days and coming back to US as I found these lies I confronted her and lectured her a few times. I later checked her facebook history and all which showed she's searching for ex boyfriend name until this day on facebook. She also went to cafe with another friend who gets really close to her and almost leaning on her while taking pictures. I confronted her on that as well and now she's being more sneaky. I really don't want her if she don't have any respect for this marriage and want to keep sleeping with ex boyfriend or other guy friend. It's driving me insane, I can't sleep more then 4 hours each night. I haven't told her yet that I found out about her exboyfriend because her step mother wants the marriage to not work out and get alimony. I have worked way to hard to lose it all to this girl.

If she is in India, what alimony are you referring to? Though I don't know much about your story and didn't read all posts, but if you are convinced and/or she has indicated that she doesn't want this relationship to work, better move on before it's too late.

[Cathi 5,763]

Alimony? Even when couples are married for years it is rare for alimony to be granted. Most states how no fault divorce.

[JelenaS 3]

Do you want to lose your nights and sleep and stress now and later as well, once she gets to the US? Nothing will change.

Or do you want to divorce and suffer a bit now and be over with it sooner? the amount of work and suffer time will be less in the 2nd option.

Obviously, you two don't see things clearly and are not on the same page. Sorry to tell you, but I don't see you being happy if you continue with the marriage. Good luck!

[KierenHby 899]

She's secretive and keep hush hush about her friends. She had boyfriends before and probably wasn't a virgin. She is hiding way too much and it's getting ridiculous.

That is not a requirement to be married!

Regardless, if this was important to you, you should've had these conversations with her before marrying.