Filipina Run with another American

[jpiz777 3]

Just wanted to wish you good luck. Sorry this happened.

[pch1 64]

Not really sure that more detailed information on the relationship is that much more helpful. There are short cons and long cons. The OP could have visited her multiple times, known her for 5 years, and it still could have happened as he said. There is no magic # of visits or length of relationship that automatically inoculates you from this kind of experience.

This is not a direct example but I think it's instructive... I knew my wife for 10 years and had visited her 15+ times before we married and she emigrated. But once she arrived, she seemed almost like a completely different person. She perceived me as different, too. Almost all my assumptions and her assumptions were wrong and the relationship was seriously at risk after 3 months here. Eventually we turned things around.

My point is, there will be many people in this thread that caution how you "really need to get to know your future spouse before marriage and immigration." While on the surface, this is a good idea, it's still no guarantee of success.

For any international relationship of any length, the lesson is: be careful.

Most likely you are one of a few to have something like this happen after such a long relationship and visiting her for more than 15 times, also I won't doubt that many others with shorter time relationship had similar to your case as well....No one is immune from...At least you guys worked things out unlike the OP where he was conned and played from what I understand. Just wanted his input on the relationship, how did they communicate, how long, was there any red flags during the relationship, were the family aware of this and were they on in it as well...He said he spoke to the family and I wonder what their response was. Still something like this can be an eye opener for others...There is suck a thing as 100% guaranteed relationship but at least we can live and learn...

[pch1 64]

It's unclear whether the OP will come back to the thread:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/604116-filipina-run-with-another-american/?p=8243837

Thanks TboneTX, maybe he is already gone...best of luck to him and hope to see him back in the future to Vj with another true, loving and caring person....There are good people out there, still!!

[Merrytooth 5,748]

I can smell bullshat like a fart in a car.

Just like you assume that many people get RFEs for their petitions because they DIY and never use an attorney / visa preparer services?

[LeandroB39 5]

To clarify my first post I am originally from Germany but my mom got married to American citizen so I am natural born German citizen but my step father adopted me and I am now a US citizen that is why I said Foreigner/American.

To all those curious this is my story. My experience with Filipina dating sites is all over the place. I met a lot of sincere women searching for husbands. I also encountered several scammers who were trying to make quick buck off of lonely men like me. I quickly learned to be suspicious of anyone asking money or hinting about financial needs. I ended up talking to two beautiful Filipinas that I think are sincere. One is a happy chatter. She always makes me laugh, sweet and I could tell she is really a wife material but everytime we talk she keeps telling me she wants to get to know me well so I ended up choosing my fiancee because the other Filipina seems not so interested with me and here is the other one keep telling me she wants to have a family. We remained friends and I admitted to her that I chose my fiancee over her and she was to accept it. I went to Philippines and met my fiancee and her family. They’ve been so good to me. I saw how simple their life and after three visit I decided to petition her. I supported her and her family because for me they are my family too. Even gave them a small business because they are depending to my fiancee and I was thinking if I will marry her I want her to focus to our own family. They were so happy and thank me enough.

UPDATES: When I talked to her family yesterday I told her mom that if something happens to her it is not my responsibilities anymore and that I reported her already. She began to tell me the whole story. She told me that her daughter met me and this guy almost the same month. She advised her to focus on me and drop the other guy because she said she knew I am a good guy for her daughter. I didn’t know that I was being fooled since then because they guy also came to Philippines and met them. Her mom said she called them and told her that I saw her and reported her but she told her mom that I love her so much so she will just say that she just want to surprise me and went to her friends first. Well, I am really surprised! Her mom also mentioned that this guy is not supporting them or her and she asked my forgiveness because she tolerated her daughter because they need my support. The guy knew about me but he kept quiet and agreed with her that I filed the petition first and can’t cancel it anymore so she will just take the opportunity to meet him. I am honestly lost right now. I can’t believe this is happening to me. I talked to the other Filipina today and she cried and felt bad for me. I was so stupid I chose the wrong one. Now, it is too late.

I have schedule to Philippine consulate here and I am thinking if ever she will contact me if I will answer her and pretend I will accept her and bring her there or not answer her at all and just let the immigration find her. To all of you, from the bottom of my heart I truly appreciate everyone. Thank you for all the encouragement and concerns. I really hope all of you will get your visa approaved and will be happy to all your partners. You are all lucky and please don’t waste that chance because not all people have a chance to meet a good person. I will be busy from now on. I will you all the best in life!

Leandro

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

I'm sorry but i have a difficult time believing this story, you have a lot of conflicts in your statements, I can smell bullshat like a fart in a car.

• You said she "Texted" you at the airport, how is that possible just arriving from Philippines, her phone would NOT have telco service here in the US
• You said you seen her "Leaving with an American"
• Then you changed your story and said you seen her "In a car with a Foreigner"
• If you seen her, I would think you would have followed her instead of going home
• If she said immigration was holding her, I would think you would walk into the airport immigration to ask whats the holdup
• I would think you would at least walk into the airport immigration to ask if she entered and show your K1 documents and approvals etc

Is this a case of your Filipina left you so you made up a wild story to bad talk Filipino immigrants?

Why is it hard to belive that she told him she wasnt allowed to come in???

I dont think he came here to bad talk anyone since he only said what happend and was very respectful.

and about people from the philipines or not there are scammers in every country....

Poor guy went to pick her up his heart must have sank when he is running home to figure out how to help her and she drives on by.

Not right!!!

Its a shame everyday theres a thread on here about people dooped or someone thinking they bought a person via visa.

Edited July 29, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

To clarify my first post I am originally from Germany but my mom got married to American citizen so I am natural born German citizen but my step father adopted me and I am now a US citizen that is why I said Foreigner/American.

To all those curious this is my story. My experience with Filipina dating sites is all over the place. I met a lot of sincere women searching for husbands. I also encountered several scammers who were trying to make quick buck off of lonely men like me. I quickly learned to be suspicious of anyone asking money or hinting about financial needs. I ended up talking to two beautiful Filipinas that I think are sincere. One is a happy chatter. She always makes me laugh, sweet and I could tell she is really a wife material but everytime we talk she keeps telling me she wants to get to know me well so I ended up choosing my fiancee because the other Filipina seems not so interested with me and here is the other one keep telling me she wants to have a family. We remained friends and I admitted to her that I chose my fiancee over her and she was to accept it. I went to Philippines and met my fiancee and her family. Theyve been so good to me. I saw how simple their life and after three visit I decided to petition her. I supported her and her family because for me they are my family too. Even gave them a small business because they are depending to my fiancee and I was thinking if I will marry her I want her to focus to our own family. They were so happy and thank me enough.

UPDATES: When I talked to her family yesterday I told her mom that if something happens to her it is not my responsibilities anymore and that I reported her already. She began to tell me the whole story. She told me that her daughter met me and this guy almost the same month. She advised her to focus on me and drop the other guy because she said she knew I am a good guy for her daughter. I didnt know that I was being fooled since then because they guy also came to Philippines and met them. Her mom said she called them and told her that I saw her and reported her but she told her mom that I love her so much so she will just say that she just want to surprise me and went to her friends first. Well, I am really surprised! Her mom also mentioned that this guy is not supporting them or her and she asked my forgiveness because she tolerated her daughter because they need my support. The guy knew about me but he kept quiet and agreed with her that I filed the petition first and cant cancel it anymore so she will just take the opportunity to meet him. I am honestly lost right now. I cant believe this is happening to me. I talked to the other Filipina today and she cried and felt bad for me. I was so stupid I chose the wrong one. Now, it is too late.

I have schedule to Philippine consulate here and I am thinking if ever she will contact me if I will answer her and pretend I will accept her and bring her there or not answer her at all and just let the immigration find her. To all of you, from the bottom of my heart I truly appreciate everyone. Thank you for all the encouragement and concerns. I really hope all of you will get your visa approaved and will be happy to all your partners. You are all lucky and please dont waste that chance because not all people have a chance to meet a good person. I will be busy from now on. I will you all the best in life!

Leandro

Its never to late im on my second K1 you can file an imbra waiver.

You can fall in love again. You were scammed.

DONT SUPPORT HER FAMILY!!! THAT WOMAN LEARNT THAT AT HOME!!

Edited July 29, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[Unlockable 7,314]

Re: the update from OP. There you have it.

I wouldn't advise setting her up or even speaking to her. She will know she screwed up soon if she hasn't already. There is no other way for her to become legal in the US. Your actual name is printed in her passport with the visa.

For her to tell her mom that she knows you saw her but thinks you will still forgive her is unbelievable. She basically feels that she has you whipped!

With all sincerity my friend, if she tries to reach out to you STAY AWAY FROM HER! Don't answer text or calls or anything. You will have to cut ties with her family also. They are relying on you for support. Move on and find a sincere woman.

Best of luck.

Edited July 29, 2016 by NuestraUnion

[ayceman 3]

To clarify my first post I am originally from Germany but my mom got married to American citizen so I am natural born German citizen but my step father adopted me and I am now a US citizen that is why I said Foreigner/American.

To all those curious this is my story. My experience with Filipina dating sites is all over the place. I met a lot of sincere women searching for husbands. I also encountered several scammers who were trying to make quick buck off of lonely men like me. I quickly learned to be suspicious of anyone asking money or hinting about financial needs. I ended up talking to two beautiful Filipinas that I think are sincere. One is a happy chatter. She always makes me laugh, sweet and I could tell she is really a wife material but everytime we talk she keeps telling me she wants to get to know me well so I ended up choosing my fiancee because the other Filipina seems not so interested with me and here is the other one keep telling me she wants to have a family. We remained friends and I admitted to her that I chose my fiancee over her and she was to accept it. I went to Philippines and met my fiancee and her family. They’ve been so good to me. I saw how simple their life and after three visit I decided to petition her. I supported her and her family because for me they are my family too. Even gave them a small business because they are depending to my fiancee and I was thinking if I will marry her I want her to focus to our own family. They were so happy and thank me enough.

UPDATES: When I talked to her family yesterday I told her mom that if something happens to her it is not my responsibilities anymore and that I reported her already. She began to tell me the whole story. She told me that her daughter met me and this guy almost the same month. She advised her to focus on me and drop the other guy because she said she knew I am a good guy for her daughter. I didn’t know that I was being fooled since then because they guy also came to Philippines and met them. Her mom said she called them and told her that I saw her and reported her but she told her mom that I love her so much so she will just say that she just want to surprise me and went to her friends first. Well, I am really surprised! Her mom also mentioned that this guy is not supporting them or her and she asked my forgiveness because she tolerated her daughter because they need my support. The guy knew about me but he kept quiet and agreed with her that I filed the petition first and can’t cancel it anymore so she will just take the opportunity to meet him. I am honestly lost right now. I can’t believe this is happening to me. I talked to the other Filipina today and she cried and felt bad for me. I was so stupid I chose the wrong one. Now, it is too late.

I have schedule to Philippine consulate here and I am thinking if ever she will contact me if I will answer her and pretend I will accept her and bring her there or not answer her at all and just let the immigration find her. To all of you, from the bottom of my heart I truly appreciate everyone. Thank you for all the encouragement and concerns. I really hope all of you will get your visa approaved and will be happy to all your partners. You are all lucky and please don’t waste that chance because not all people have a chance to meet a good person. I will be busy from now on. I will you all the best in life!

Leandro

Just a heart breaking story, I cannot imagine what you are going through but please remain strong as it seems like she had this completely mapped out and once she realizes she cannot Adjust her status without you. You can bet that she will try to make contact with you and try her best to have you proceed. Do not fall for it at all, do not have any contact with her alone and I would recommend that you cut contact with her family. They gave you an explanation, and from what you told they knew about this and I can understand it is their daughter but you are under no obligation to continue supporting them in any way. The important thing is to learn from this experience and not make the same mistake again. Good luck to you.

[LeandroB39 5]

I'm sorry but i have a difficult time believing this story, you have a lot of conflicts in your statements, I can smell bullshat like a fart in a car.

1. You said she "Texted" you at the airport, how is that possible just arriving from Philippines, her phone would NOT have telco service here in the US
2. You said you seen her "Leaving with an American"
3. Then you changed your story and said you seen her "In a car with a Foreigner"
4. If you seen her, I would think you would have followed her instead of going home
5. If she said immigration was holding her, I would think you would walk into the airport immigration to ask whats the holdup
6. I would think you would at least walk into the airport immigration to ask if she entered and show your K1 documents and approvals etc

Is this a case of your Filipina left you so you made up a wild story to bad talk Filipino immigrants?

The other guy is correct. We used viber to talk to each other and I got a message from her there. I said I saw them in car. We are both different person. When I saw them I was shocked and didn't do anything but look at them. If you would ask me why, I don't honestly know. Maybe I just couldnt believe it happened to me that I can't move my feet and I am not here to make look Filipina bad because I know there are some good women out there. I will not get anything for this if ever. I have a life and no time for that kind of kids game. How would I ask immigration if I don't know the whole story yet? I don't know why you think I am here to talk bad about Filipinos. I will just respect your opinion.

[MUCA 5]

Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions

Maybe you've been together a while and are considering taking a big step, or perhaps you just started seeing one another and aren't sure if you should stay the course. Whatever your situation, a check-in is never a bad thing. Read on for 20 tough questions to ask about your relationships before moving forward.

You *must* have these internal conversations before walking down the aisle.

Maybe you've been together a while and are considering taking a big step, or perhaps you just started seeing one another and aren't sure if you should stay the course.

Whatever your situation, a check-in is never a bad thing. Read on for 20 tough questions to ask about your relationships before moving forward.

1. Is for better or worse making me better or worse?

Does your partner encourage you to be your best self, or does he or she get intimidated by any triumphs and feel more secure when you're not putting your best foot forward?

2. Do we really accept one another?

There will always be things you want to change about the people in your life, but no one should be in a situation where they feel they aren't allowed to be authentic and accepted as the unique, special (yet flawed) person they are.

3. Who am I?

How can you know if your partner is a good match if you have no idea who you are?

4. Am I happy to be in this relationship?

The idea of sharing a life together is not to find someone to complete you or make you happy. But let's face it: being unhappy at home can seep into other areas of your life . . . and fast. If you're always fighting or just generally not feeling great about your twosome, it doesn't mean you have to bail out (counseling might be a good option) but marrying someone in the hope that it changes things is a bad, bad idea.

5. Am I feeling trapped?

Do you really want to be in this relationship the majority of the time or do you find yourself wishing for a way out? Do you stay because you've invested time or are you really invested in your mate?

6. What am I doing to hold us back?

Maybe you could be more attentive, more thoughtful, quicker to let things go, or the first to bring up going to counseling. Whatever it is, take this as your sign to step up.

7. Is this relationship balanced?

Do you feel you're both on the same page in terms of compromise, care, support and sacrifice? Or is one of you doing most of the giving while the other just sits with their hand out?

8. Can we have fun together?

Have you ever seen two people sit across from one another in silence at brunch as though they are being forced to walk through their day together? Not. fun.

9. Can we have fun apart?

Co-dependency ain't cute, y'all.

10. Why am I in this relationship?

Is it because you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are with? Or because you're afraid of being alone, worried about finances, or have built a life you're scared to leave?

11. Where is this going?

Living in the "now" is great, but eventually the partnership will need a plan or someone will begin to feel anxious.

12. Do I really trust my partner?

For some, the immediate response to this can be devastating. If you're one of them, it's time to ask why and how you can begin to build or rebuild trust. Without it, there's no chance.

13. Am I with a good person?

Knowing what you know about your partner today, would you vouch for them if they were a friend?

14. Am I attracted to my partner?

Physical attraction is hardly the most important component in a relationship, but forcing yourself to be in a relationship with someone who you're not attracted to — just because it's comfortable or "perfect on paper" isn't fair to anyone. You will feel resentful and they will feel rejected.

15. Am I a parent or a partner?

Taking care of someone you love is a great thing to do, but when you feel like you're raising a boyfriend — or worse, a husband — things get a little complicated. You'll resent his childish ways. Who wants to sleep with their mom?

16. Does my partner have my back?

Do you feel like you're a part of a loyal team who stands up for one another, supports one another, and shows a united front (even when the other is not around)? Or, do you feel like you're constantly being thrown under the bus by your mate?

17. Are we looking in the same direction?

Some couples avoid having the big talks (religion, marriage, babies) because they think that, somehow, these things will just "work themselves out." By the time they realize they won't, they're in a complicated, painful situation that leaves one (or both) feeling a little bit duped.

18. Are we growing together?

Being a human being living on this earth, we all have a right to grow and develop, and create a full life for ourselves. Are you and your partner still indulging in your passions (individual and shared) and growing as individuals?

19. Am I still me?

Being in love with someone should not require changing our identity to fit someone else's idea of who we should be, on any level.

20. What is my gut telling me?

You have intuition for a reason. Listen to yourself.

[USAMorocco 143]

So I am confused, you are waiting for her at the airport and get a text from her that immigration will not let her in. Why would you go right home to talk to her when you are at the airport? I would have been heading in to speak with someone about this and get my fiancee through or a reason why she was denied entry. Something smells rotten in Denmark.....

Just wondering who you would march right in and talk to? Because CBP does not answer questions and normally won't tell you anything about anyone who has come in. I waited 3 hours at a POE for someone and CBP wouldn't tell me a single thing. If they say no nothing anyone says is going to change anything.

[pch1 64]

I am really confused, why would an American man (if he is US Citizen) would go though all this, allow you to bring her to the US on K1 Visa, knowing that she can never get married to him and be legal in the US? She played you, and he is playing her and soon she will be on the streets.

Her family knew about this other American, he went to visit them and all what they can say is Oh we are sorry? What a bunch of fraudulent family.

So why did you go back crying to your ex and would she feel sorry for you and start crying? You see, this EX was a tough cookie not welling to give you so ease until she knew you that well...But u went for the cheaper fish!!

Good luck to you in the future!

[David & Diana R 1,005]

I want to say thank you to all of you. It's confirmed that she landed. The girl I saw on that car and the clothes she was wearing to the last picture she sent me before her flight in manila were the same. All of your are right that the best thing to do is to move on. I just need to accept that she planned all this. I already reported her and talked to her family. I am so depressed right now and I need to make time for myself to move on. Again, thank you for all of you and God bless you all.

I want to say thank you to all of you. It's confirmed that she landed. The girl I saw on that car and the clothes she was wearing to the last picture she sent me before her flight in manila were the same. All of your are right that the best thing to do is to move on. I just need to accept that she planned all this. I already reported her and talked to her family. I am so depressed right now and I need to make time for myself to move on. Again, thank you for all of you and God bless you all.

My condolences. At least you know she will NEVER be able to adjust and she will be an illegal alien in 90 days. Please promise you will NEVER connect with this terrible person again. DO NOT give her a second chance. She might come back before the 90 days is up and try to make up to you saying she made the biggest mistake of her life and she wants to marry you after all. DON'T BELIEVE HER. She would do that just to become legal and would go right back to the dickhead that picked her up at the airport. This girl is a heartless pig. Move on and start your search for a new wife. There are thousands out there that are honest and will love you forever. Don't give up. Life is too short. I'm sure this is very difficult for you. God Bless

[USAMorocco 143]

Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions

Maybe you've been together a while and are considering taking a big step, or perhaps you just started seeing one another and aren't sure if you should stay the course. Whatever your situation, a check-in is never a bad thing. Read on for 20 tough questions to ask about your relationships before moving forward.

You *must* have these internal conversations before walking down the aisle.

Maybe you've been together a while and are considering taking a big step, or perhaps you just started seeing one another and aren't sure if you should stay the course.

Whatever your situation, a check-in is never a bad thing. Read on for 20 tough questions to ask about your relationships before moving forward.

1. Is for better or worse making me better or worse?

Does your partner encourage you to be your best self, or does he or she get intimidated by any triumphs and feel more secure when you're not putting your best foot forward?

2. Do we really accept one another?

There will always be things you want to change about the people in your life, but no one should be in a situation where they feel they aren't allowed to be authentic and accepted as the unique, special (yet flawed) person they are.

3. Who am I?

How can you know if your partner is a good match if you have no idea who you are?

4. Am I happy to be in this relationship?

The idea of sharing a life together is not to find someone to complete you or make you happy. But let's face it: being unhappy at home can seep into other areas of your life . . . and fast. If you're always fighting or just generally not feeling great about your twosome, it doesn't mean you have to bail out (counseling might be a good option) but marrying someone in the hope that it changes things is a bad, bad idea.

5. Am I feeling trapped?

Do you really want to be in this relationship the majority of the time or do you find yourself wishing for a way out? Do you stay because you've invested time or are you really invested in your mate?

6. What am I doing to hold us back?

Maybe you could be more attentive, more thoughtful, quicker to let things go, or the first to bring up going to counseling. Whatever it is, take this as your sign to step up.

7. Is this relationship balanced?

Do you feel you're both on the same page in terms of compromise, care, support and sacrifice? Or is one of you doing most of the giving while the other just sits with their hand out?

8. Can we have fun together?

Have you ever seen two people sit across from one another in silence at brunch as though they are being forced to walk through their day together? Not. fun.

9. Can we have fun apart?

Co-dependency ain't cute, y'all.

10. Why am I in this relationship?

Is it because you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are with? Or because you're afraid of being alone, worried about finances, or have built a life you're scared to leave?

11. Where is this going?

Living in the "now" is great, but eventually the partnership will need a plan or someone will begin to feel anxious.

12. Do I really trust my partner?

For some, the immediate response to this can be devastating. If you're one of them, it's time to ask why and how you can begin to build or rebuild trust. Without it, there's no chance.

13. Am I with a good person?

Knowing what you know about your partner today, would you vouch for them if they were a friend?

14. Am I attracted to my partner?

Physical attraction is hardly the most important component in a relationship, but forcing yourself to be in a relationship with someone who you're not attracted to just because it's comfortable or "perfect on paper" isn't fair to anyone. You will feel resentful and they will feel rejected.

15. Am I a parent or a partner?

Taking care of someone you love is a great thing to do, but when you feel like you're raising a boyfriend or worse, a husband things get a little complicated. You'll resent his childish ways. Who wants to sleep with their mom?

16. Does my partner have my back?

Do you feel like you're a part of a loyal team who stands up for one another, supports one another, and shows a united front (even when the other is not around)? Or, do you feel like you're constantly being thrown under the bus by your mate?

17. Are we looking in the same direction?

Some couples avoid having the big talks (religion, marriage, babies) because they think that, somehow, these things will just "work themselves out." By the time they realize they won't, they're in a complicated, painful situation that leaves one (or both) feeling a little bit duped.

18. Are we growing together?

Being a human being living on this earth, we all have a right to grow and develop, and create a full life for ourselves. Are you and your partner still indulging in your passions (individual and shared) and growing as individuals?

19. Am I still me?

Being in love with someone should not require changing our identity to fit someone else's idea of who we should be, on any level.

20. What is my gut telling me?

You have intuition for a reason. Listen to yourself.

Love this!!