Pre-nup agreement

[charly73 0]

It's a touchy subject, I agree, but I think it depends on I) how you approach the topic with your partner and II) what happened before in your life.

It's not that crucial if you split up in your mid-twenties (financially, I mean), no big deal to get back on your feet after a divorce (again, only financially speaking), but as the OP said, what if you're in your late fourties, worked hard for your money and just can't make up for the financial loss any more? In a good relationship, I think this can be discussed without hard feelings coming up! (just my opinion, of course)

We discussed it and I never felt like my soon-to-be-husband didn't trust me or planned on the end of our relationship already! Maybe it's a cultural thing, also, but a fair agreement protects both sides, and also takes the fact into consideration that the non-USC gave up life as he/she knew it and moved to the other side of the world to be with the person we love.

Carla

[hockeygal 0]

I guess maybe my fiancé and I both have the same views on things...we're not materialistic, nor are we rich. I just believe that if you marry someone, you are doing so because you want to share your life with them. I can't imagine having in the back of my mind the possibility of "if it doesn't work".

I went through a nasty divorce too...I lost everything and I mean everything except the clothes my daughter and I had and a few books....but I'm not going to let that daunt me or cause me to be cynical in regards to my upcoming marriage. I guess I just have a different viewpoint....to each his or her own as to how they conduct their affairs

yes, whatever floats everyone's own boat.

I don't actually have a strong stand here - I think it depends. I guess I sort of stepped in because each time this topic comes up, words like "materialistic" and "cynical" pop up, and I don't necessarily think that is fair. About as fair/judgemental as people who think their relationship is stronger or better because they didn't meet online, long distance. ... and we all know how annoying they are.

Edited March 16, 2006 by hockeygal

[Fuzzness 2]

I guess it depends on what's involved. My mother signed a prenup in her marriage which states that if something happens to her, her assets that she acquired before the marriage will stay in the family and the house must either be occupied by her husband or her family. Her will also confirms that this is what would happen. I don't see anything wrong with that, really. But a lot of prenups aren't like that.

[Marilyn. 340]

to me it sounds kind of scary....

you go to your SO and say I love you and everything but in case we get divorced would you sign this pre-nup?

Just my 2 cents

[KarenCee 3]

to me it sounds kind of scary....

you go to your SO and say I love you and everything but in case we get divorced would you sign this pre-nup?

Just my 2 cents

Yeah, that's kinda what I was thinking too.

[mrswooten4ever 0]

Having been married before I have no problem with it what so ever. Another thing you may need to take into consideration is the many people who file for bankruptcy each year. A pre- nup is one way of protecting your assets. Certainly doesn't mean you don't expect your marriage to last. My first husband was Catholic and we had to attend a six week pre- marriage course. One of the classes was given by a lawyer on pre-nuptial agreements. It's a personal choice but definately one worth thinking about.

Adele

[Peggy 1]

Neither of us have enough money to worry about a prenup

[Marilyn. 340]

Neither of us have enough money to worry about a prenup

us neither....

I always told my hubby "well at least you know I am not marrying you for your money."

[KarenCee 3]

Neither of us have enough money to worry about a prenup

Same here

Neither of us have enough money to worry about a prenup

us neither....

I always told my hubby "well at least you know I am not marrying you for your money."

LOL...so true for us as well!

[puntagordabob 0]

Lucita & I are getting a pre-nup...we wanted the blessings of my family and that was the only request they had... of course in my heart I know we will never seperate from each other... but my family seemed unanimous that sometimes life tosses you a curveball that ends up being a hand grenade so consider a pre-nup as body armor lol... and I do have some assets (25 acre waterfront ranch on florida - http://www.pantherranch.com and a home on lake superior in paradise - Sault Ste Marie ontario http://www.goulaisriver.com) websites are old and not finished....lol

[Linababe 0]

Lucita & I are getting a pre-nup...we wanted the blessings of my family and that was the only request they had... of course in my heart I know we will never seperate from each other... but my family seemed unanimous that sometimes life tosses you a curveball that ends up being a hand grenade so consider a pre-nup as body armor lol... and I do have some assets (25 acre waterfront ranch on florida - http://www.pantherranch.com and a home on lake superior in paradise - Sault Ste Marie ontario http://www.goulaisriver.com) websites are old and not finished....lol

I agree, my family too are telling me that I have a house i have invested in and security here - why would I want to just sell up and move to a country far away from family (coming from an Indian family that normally sticks together no matter what). Dave and I have talked about this and yes I am the one with the house and the money I get from sale of it will be quite a bit - and in his 32 years of life hasnt managed to get his own place (he has been renting alot lol) and really doesnt have much in savings. Although we both love each other so dearly we discussed the topic of pre-nup (as my family advised us to be secure if things fail), we dont think we will fail in our marriage - infact we wont but again things do happen. I have been married before and were together for 10 years till we divorced (last 5 years were just marriage in name only ), so I know how things can take a dramatic change for the worse. We have decided - infact it was my US fiance (Dave) who suggested this, that as we planned on most of my money going into buying our new home together and if his mum helped too we would draw up a contract to say if anything happened to the marriage I would get all the money i put into the house back first when we sell and then any profit ontop will be split. Now this is what we plan on doing - so once I get settled there we will be seeing somone to help us prepare that. I too at the age of 40 something dont want to start over again with nothing and Dave feels the same way

Lina (UKC)

[Jaylen Brit 0]

A problem I have with it is that its usually (not always) the guy who wants one.

OK so he earned x amount over the years and marries then divorces. If they both work thats fine - they both keep what they put into the marriage no more no less. She may have signed a pre-nup n the early stages of her marraige when she DID work so this was not a concern for her.

But what if she (as an example) sold everything to be with him..or stayed at home sacrificing job and earnings to have and bring up their children and take care of the home? Does that count for nothing? And she re-joins an already difficult job market, lacking current skills and without assets.

Thats the part I don't like about it.

IMO, be fair - be generous (in spirit as well as financially) - remember what goes around comes around

And all that stuff

[babybunny 2]

I dont belive in a pre nup. but, at the same time my I lsamic "marriage " CONTRACT" has something in there in the event we split -I have the permission to divorce < you have to have prior permission > and I have a dowery.

[gimygirl 0]

i think if one spouse has considerably more assets than the other ... a prenup should be entertained. one would be foolish not to get one.

the most common cases we see here are older, successful man with a younger wife. as a y9unger foreign wife, i wouldn't be offended at all. wives are usually awarded 'x' amount for each year married, etc.

life is not a fairy tale ... love does not conquer all! best to be prepared if at all possible!

[Sinergy 3]

We're not planning a prenup. To us, there are more important things than money or material posessions.

Agreed