Pre-nup agreement

[travlnmannn 0]

Hello again everyone. Again I have to say that this website is awesome. Lots of questions answered here. Has anybody approached their signifcant others about signing a pre-nup before getting married. I know this is a touchy subject with some American women. Just not sure how to handle it besides being honest. How do women from other countries feel about this.

[nijusjaanu 0]

it's definately a touchy subject! kind of insinuates that you think the marriage will fail somewhere down the line. women like more security than that. i think prenups should just be for people moving in together (but then the "nup" part would be misnamed.....)

i would think that women from any culture would feel the same.

i'm not saying that you ARE thinking the marriage will be temporary, but prenups in general come across that way. ..... er.. i hope this helps a little without stepping on any toes......

[Mirorgate 0]

Hello again everyone. Again I have to say that this website is awesome. Lots of questions answered here. Has anybody approached their signifcant others about signing a pre-nup before getting married. I know this is a touchy subject with some American women. Just not sure how to handle it besides being honest. How do women from other countries feel about this.

Hmmmm..... Think the wife would wonder if I'm prepareing for an eventual divorce if I asked about this. So I prepare for the eventual "Till death do us part" and not worry about the "what if's". Also, I don't beleive it'd be just american women that would be touchy with subject... ya know? It probably has something to do with the whole "Leave me and I deny you everything" thought that they get when they hear stuff like this.

Just me though.. others I'm sure have other things to say.

[almaty 19]

did not use one or approach the topic...besides she probably needed it more than me

[Jasman0717 9]

I believe a pre-num can be a very useful tool in a marriage contract. Why should a marriage give someone access to assets that normally they would never achieve. I am sure this is offensive to some but with the way the courts are this day and age one could loose their assets if they don't protect themselves.

[travlnmannn 0]

It definitely is a tough subject. It's just hard when you get burnt on your first marriage and basically started with nothing and worked back to a good financial position (Amen to Arizona Real Estate). It's not that I dont want to spend the rest of my life with Galina. But you just never know these days. I dont want to start over at 40 if things dont work out in a few years. Anybody have any ideas about what the percentage of marriages to foreign women that actually succeed or fail?

[Fuzzness 2]

We're not planning a prenup. To us, there are more important things than money or material posessions.

[nijusjaanu 0]

It definitely is a tough subject. It's just hard when you get burnt on your first marriage and basically started with nothing and worked back to a good financial position (Amen to Arizona Real Estate). It's not that I dont want to spend the rest of my life with Galina. But you just never know these days. I dont want to start over at 40 if things dont work out in a few years. Anybody have any ideas about what the percentage of marriages to foreign women that actually succeed or fail?

i think the percentage for marriages overall is about 50% success/fail. as for marriage to foreigners ... i believe that this process either binds you together forever by the time you're finished with it and actually living together, or it tears you apart early (from the stuff i've seen people on this website go through, i think most would agree with me). ..... i have heard that arranged marriages are the most successful for some reason......

[mawilson 2,133]

I think the laws should be changed to scrap the automatic division of property

when a marriage ends - let people decide how they want to divide their property

and sign an "anti-pre-nup" if they want to.

[KarenCee 3]

We're not planning a prenup. To us, there are more important things than money or material posessions.

Absolutely. That, to me says, "honey I love you, but....." just MHO though

[chocolaterie 0]

This is a tough question. But I understand your position because I have seen it happen. If it were me I would go see one of those pre-marriage advisors where they talk about the ups and downs of married life... and I would have the advisor bring the subject of pre-nups up (I come from a culture that's all about saving face).

My hubby and I never really talked about a pre-nup when we were engaged, but we both agree we will be signing some sort of contract if there's ever the slightest possibility that we had a child.

[brtlmj 0]

Hello again everyone. Again I have to say that this website is awesome. Lots of questions answered here. Has anybody approached their signifcant others about signing a pre-nup before getting married. I know this is a touchy subject with some American women. Just not sure how to handle it besides being honest. How do women from other countries feel about this.

There are situations where pre-nup is definitely appropriate. One example would be: he or she is much wealthier and has kids from previous marriage. We do not plan to have one, as we are almost equally rich (or rather equally poor ). But I would not say that people who sign a pre-nup assume that their marriage will fail. I do not assume that I will crash, but I never drive without a seatbelt...

Bartek

[hockeygal 0]

We're not planning a prenup. To us, there are more important things than money or material posessions.

Most people have that view until they've been screwed out of a lot of money and material possesions!

I don't like the idea of pre-nups, but I also have a hard time believing that I would take something that didn't belong to me. But who knows what could happen.

My guy had to start from scratch all over again after a very ugly divorce 10 years ago, and it has been a difficult thing for him. If he wanted me to sign one, I probably would, but I would be sure to put in my own stuff, even if it isn't much! I don't take it as a sign he thinks it will fail. He would not be doing this if he felt that and neither would I. But I recognize his past has been an issue, and I'm not going to fight him on it or get insulted. There is room for practicality in romance, in my view.

Bottom line - I know he loves me, he's always incredibly generous, he does not act "mine and yours", he'd just want a safety net for what he's rebuilt thus far. I'm ok with that.

Edited March 16, 2006 by hockeygal

[Fuzzness 2]

We're not planning a prenup. To us, there are more important things than money or material posessions.

Most people have that view until they've been screwed out of a lot of money and material possesions!

I don't think you understand what I meant.

[KarenCee 3]

We're not planning a prenup. To us, there are more important things than money or material posessions.

Most people have that view until they've been screwed out of a lot of money and material possesions!

I don't like the idea of pre-nups, but I also have a hard time believing that I would take something that didn't belong to me. But who knows what could happen.

My guy had to start from scratch all over again after a very ugly divorce 10 years ago, and it has been a difficult thing for him. If he wanted me to sign one, I probably would, but I would be sure to put in my own stuff, even if it isn't much! I don't take it as a sign he thinks it will fail. He would not be doing this if he felt that and neither would I. But I recognize his past has been an issue, and I'm not going to fight him on it or get insulted. There is room for practicality in romance, in my view.

Bottom line - I know he loves me, he's always incredibly generous, he does not act "mine and yours", he just wants a safety net for what he's rebuilt thus far. I'm ok with that.

I guess maybe my fiancé and I both have the same views on things...we're not materialistic, nor are we rich. I just believe that if you marry someone, you are doing so because you want to share your life with them. I can't imagine having in the back of my mind the possibility of "if it doesn't work".

I went through a nasty divorce too...I lost everything and I mean everything except the clothes my daughter and I had and a few books....but I'm not going to let that daunt me or cause me to be cynical in regards to my upcoming marriage. I guess I just have a different viewpoint....to each his or her own as to how they conduct their affairs

Edited March 16, 2006 by KarenCee