Cheating Filipina Fiancee

[Dustin45 2]

I'd be surprised if there were only the one. I don't entirely know why anyone would look at that country as a viable option for finding that special someone in the first place.

Pretend that you gambled away that money at a casino and move on, you're never seeing it again.

I appreciate it. That is what I am starting to do. I lost it to other things but I just really can't believe what happened to me. Igave almost $23,000 for hospital bills and flood not including my support for her $1,500 every month. Now I need to start again for my future.

Thank you for all of you. You all make my day lighter.

[Avery Cates 1,141]

I appreciate it. That is what I am starting to do. I lost it to other things but I just really can't believe what happened to me. Igave almost $23,000 for hospital bills and flood not including my support for her $1,500 every month. Now I need to start again for my future.

Thank you for all of you. You all make my day lighter.

Oof sorry to hear it was that much. I hate to say it but you got classic Rope-a-Doped. There never were any hospital bills, and for $1,500 a month you could get a quality woman here. I've seen people here talk about sending some monthly money to their others over there but it's only been a fraction of what you were sending. That equates to 70,000+ of their Monopoly money over there. You actually made her a millionaire over there.

A hard lesson but I hope you find yourself in a better place from here on.

Edited July 25, 2016 by Avery Cates

[AKminer12 2]

I appreciate it. That is what I am starting to do. I lost it to other things but I just really can't believe what happened to me. Igave almost $23,000 for hospital bills and flood not including my support for her $1,500 every month. Now I need to start again for my future.

Thank you for all of you. You all make my day lighter.

Gosh! thats a lot of money wasted. Dont worry she' ll have her karma very soon for what she did to you.

You know Filipinas are just like any other women in this world, some are bad,some are good. Unfortunately, you got the wrong one. You just have to be more careful next time..

Best of luck finding the right woman...

[Dustin45 2]

Oof sorry to hear it was that much. I hate to say it but you got classic Rope-a-Doped. There never were any hospital bills, and for $1,500 a month you could get a quality woman here. I've seen people here talk about sending some monthly money to their others over there but it's only been a fraction of what you were sending. That equates to 70,000+ of their Monopoly money over there. You actually made her a millionaire over there.

A hard lesson but I hope you find yourself in a better place from here on.

Yes I talked to some American here and they said 1,500 a month is really big there. They said some places in Manila are expensive and cost of living there are just high if you have children but my fiancee has no child at all. She don't go to school either. I guess I am stupid for trusting her. She is my fiancee and I never thought she could do it to me.

[Greenbaum 12,259]

Avery Cates, on 24 Jul 2016 - 7:49 PM, said:

I'd be surprised if there were only the one. I don't entirely know why anyone would look at that country as a viable option for finding that special someone in the first place.

Pretend that you gambled away that money at a casino and move on, you're never seeing it again.

WOW Dude! Why are you so negative toward Filipinos? Ever been to the Philippines? Don't give me that line that "I don't have to go to know" because your just full of it. I am married to a Filipino and she is so much fun to be with. She is smart and a very hard worker not to mention a Great Parent to her kids and now a Grand Son.

Trust me, you can find bad apples in every country including Great Britain!

[Dustin45 2]

WOW Dude! Why are you so negative toward Filipinos? Ever been to the Philippines? Don't give me that line that "I don't have to go to know" because your just full of it. I am married to a Filipino and she is so much fun to be with. She is smart and a very hard worker not to mention a Great Parent to her kids and now a Grand Son.

Trust me, you can find bad apples in every country including Great Britain!

That's right. Of course not ALL FILIPINAS are scamming on dating sites, but its definitely MANY. It's hard to identify who is real because some are so professional that will act they are innocent. It's unfortunate that because there are so many Filipina scammers, Filipinas has a growing reputation as being all about money or citizenship. This makes it much harder for them to get visa because they are questioned on their intention of leaving the Philippines. If my fiancee just told me from the beginning she want a visa maybe I help her since I don't even have family here but she fooled me and took the chance that I am desperate to find my future wife. It is sad to know that they are growing and even their own families are tolerating them. You are lucky you've found a good one. I love Philippines and the people there are always smiling but maybe my luck is not in Philippines.

[Jim&Aura 6]

Very sorry to hear about your situation. I am now luckily engaged to a wonderful Mexican lady, but prior to meeting her, I had "relationships" with several Filipinas that I met on a variety of those dating websites you mentioned. Luckily, I never made to the stage of filing immigration packets for them, and even though I was stupid enough to sent money here and there to some, it didn't sum up to an amount that was even remotely material for me. But aside from those 2 differences, your posts sounded eerily familiar to my experiences in many ways. I think the thing that really saved me from going full blown as that my best friend was scammed by a Russian girl a long time ago, and I have always had that in the back of my mind as a possibility (along with the thousands of stories online of course), which made me cautious enough to never send large sums of money, even though I was very tempted at a few points early on... before I caught on to their habitual lying behavior.

It almost seems like they learn some of this in some kind of scammer's school, because although I have corresponded with women from all over the world, I have never experienced the frequency and blatancy of the lies coming from Filipinas. Yes, I know there are good ones, and in fact, I actually am still friends with a few them that I just never clicked with romantically. In fact, it is thanks to one of these friends that I learned a lot that helped me to uncover and prove a lot of the lies that were being told to me. Certainly, the hospital bills scam is one of the most frequent but I have heard literally everything in the book at one time or another.

As another poster mentioned, the good ones will almost never ask for money. Among scammers, some jump into scams right away and others take their time... kind of building up to it. Bottom line, if you decide to continue to pursue Filipinas (or any other long distance dating), take the time to learn what various things cost in the country the girl is from. This can go a long way to determining whether an eventual ask for money is potentially legit, or an obvious scam. For instance, the hospital bill amount you paid was absurd (no offense meant). Trust me when I tell you that there is almost no way that any 1 or even a series of operations/treatments would cost that much in Phil. If they were even close to that amount, 95% of Filipinos would not be able to afford it. In addition, the $1,500/month is WAY more than even most large families make there... probably 3-4 times that in fact. I know it's a crappy way to go into a relationship but with things like this, you really have to assume the worst and work your way back from that. Otherwise, you will find yourself sending more and more.

Another thing that I have noticed (and experienced) is that money scamming aside, there are also those Filipinas that are basically "dating" numerous foreigners online and then the first one to actually go over there and visit wins the contest, so to speak. Or they could even juggle multiple visits, playing along until the first 1 who offers to file for a Visa for her. This sounds like it could have been the case with you, and I indeed found out that this was exactly what one of my contacts was doing. She essentially disappeared for about 1 month (after being online every day), which is a dead giveaway that something fishy is going on.

To address a previous post about why anyone would pursue Filipinas... well, despite the high scam rate, they actually are very tempting, especially for guys that like Asian women. Firstly, unlike most Asian-countries, Filipinas generally speak English at a much higher rate vs others. Also, it is almost a norm to see relationships with men much older than women. In addition, white foreigners are considered almost status symbols in many Phil circles, so that almost gives an average guy super-star status... something that can be very intoxicating.

Bottom line is this... cancel your petition for her and cut all ties, not matter what lies she concocts to convince you otherwise. Give up on getting any of your money back or trying to punish her in any way. Both will be nearly impossible and will drain you of energy and soul without any benefit. Better to use all your energy to find a new girl.

Finally, I will say something about long-distance/internet dating in general, just based on my experiences. It is very, very hard to build enough trust to make these kinds of relationships work, especially given the very high % of scams. It is almost impossible to know exactly what is going on with her unless you actually are able to spend a decent amount of time hanging out with her where she lives. This was the big difference for me when I met my current fiance in Mexico about 2 years ago. There is just something different about being there with them, spending actual time with them and their friends and family... things that make it nearly impossible to hide any kind of scam.

Feel free to PM me if you want to vent or have any questions... I almost consider myself an expert when it comes to scamming Filipinas.

[Greenbaum 12,259]

Dustin45, on 24 Jul 2016 - 8:51 PM, said:

That's right. Of course not ALL FILIPINAS are scamming on dating sites, but its definitely MANY. It's hard to identify who is real because some are so professional that will act they are innocent. It's unfortunate that because there are so many Filipina scammers, Filipinas has a growing reputation as being all about money or citizenship. This makes it much harder for them to get visa because they are questioned on their intention of leaving the Philippines. If my fiancee just told me from the beginning she want a visa maybe I help her since I don't even have family here but she fooled me and took the chance that I am desperate to find my future wife. It is sad to know that they are growing and even their own families are tolerating them. You are lucky you've found a good one. I love Philippines and the people there are always smiling but maybe my luck is not in Philippines.

You've taken the first step to understand somewhat as to what happened. You are not the first or will you be the last man that has been scammed. I wouldn't give up if I were you. Just remember what I said. If they ask for money then RUN. Talk on Skype and get to know her. If she is constantly unavailable then that's a sign too. I spent two years talking to my wife before I even considered visiting her. We would spend 2-3 hours every day talking. I met her family and even sometimes had conversations with them. You just need to sharpen your approach. Don't let them "I feel sorry for myself" come out when and if you go back to meeting others.

Good luck.

[Greenbaum 12,259]

Jim&Aura, on 24 Jul 2016 - 9:05 PM, said:

Very sorry to hear about your situation. I am now luckily engaged to a wonderful Mexican lady, but prior to meeting her, I had "relationships" with several Filipinas that I met on a variety of those dating websites you mentioned. Luckily, I never made to the stage of filing immigration packets for them, and even though I was stupid enough to sent money here and there to some, it didn't sum up to an amount that was even remotely material for me. But aside from those 2 differences, your posts sounded eerily familiar to my experiences in many ways. I think the thing that really saved me from going full blown as that my best friend was scammed by a Russian girl a long time ago, and I have always had that in the back of my mind as a possibility (along with the thousands of stories online of course), which made me cautious enough to never send large sums of money, even though I was very tempted at a few points early on... before I caught on to their habitual lying behavior.

You offer some great points. Thanks for sharing your view points. Many of things you talk about I also have experience, that's why it is easy for me to agree. If you spend anytime in the sub-forum for the Philippines you will see a lot of success stories. So it can be done. Sometimes Americans are at fault just as much as Filipina's. Age gap for my wife and I is maybe 10 years and she is in her 50's and I am in my 60's. So our age gap does not effect our relationship. I suppose others with 35 years or more gap, can have a problem but I have seen those also have success. It's not for me but for some it works fine.

Thanks for your input as it can help others understand the particulars of dating a Filipina.

[JoBri 548]

Best advise for long distance relationship, especially from The Philippines, if they ask for money RUN!!! Good Filipina's won't ask for money. Follow the advice from others. There are no refunds so that money is gone. Don't give up as there is someone for you. Good luck.

My wife actually sent ME money, to come over to her... and paid the hotel too, in advance of me coming. I couldnt afford it at the time.

[Jim&Aura 6]

My wife actually sent ME money, to come over to her... and paid the hotel too, in advance of me coming. I couldnt afford it at the time.

Wow! Thats amazing, considering that probably 95% of filipinas would not even be able to come close to affording to do something like that. While I am sure you were very happy for her generosity, if any of the girls I was involved with would have offered that, I would have probably been very skeptical and figured they were trying to set me up to be kidnapped for ransom lol.

Actually, one of the girl I knew did try to sell me something a bit similar...

I told her that I couldnt come see her because I couldnt afford it yet (I was actually lying because I already suspected her) and she countered by saying she would come to visit me. I asked how she would afford it (not even talking about the impossibility of her getting a tourist visa) and she said her relative left her some land and she would sell some of it and get the money. Playing along with her lie, I asked her how much she would get for it. She replied saying 1 million. I said oh cool, that's like $25k USD. She said oh no, she meant $1 million USD lol! We were on skype an it was one of the hardest things I've ever done... to somehow squelch the laughter emanating from within myself. Funnier yet, she told me that this was only a small portion of the land she had inherited. Seriously funny stuff really. She even continued to swear she was coming to my town to see me lol... even said she arrived at my airport and somehow saw me around my house but then got cold feet and decided not to meet me lol. At this point I knew it was all lies so was just kinda playing along to see how ridiculous she would get. Really looking back, it was quite comical. Most of them have become much more refined in their scams now... making them much more believable for those without some inherent knowledge of their culture and living conditions.

[Dustin45 2]

Thank you for all your replies it means a lot to me. From this day on I will move on and just think about tomorrow.

[jpiz777 3]

Thank you for all your replies it means a lot to me. From this day on I will move on and just think about tomorrow.

Scams happen everywhere. I'm sorry to hear that yours was with a Filipina. Long distance relationships are not guaranteed. But I agree, if they ask for money, RUN and don't look back. Best of luck to you

[Soulmate1971 9]

So true! If they ask for money most likely they are scamming you and dozen other ppl! There are good ones but its hard to come by. I know, Im a filipina too. And im ashamed of them! they are giving us bad image.

Good luck on your search....

[FxL 39]

My point of view as a Filipina born in America then going to the Philippines and making friends there. I made a couple of friends there who have numerous foreign boyfriends and I could never keep up. But I see it as their type. Some woman like only rich guys, some like their men with a hot car, some prefer their men old....