How Understanding is Your Family

[notrepetiteashley 0]

When my Canadian and I were first married, everyone in my family acted like we were nuts for going to the USCIS local office. "But he's Canadian, why would he need a visa, can't he just move down here and live and work?" I got so sick of hearing that.

After a while (it took him a long time to get his EAD and everything) the family started getting much more snippity about it. As though we were just stalling or something. My own brother even had the audacity to say to me, "Well, this is ridiculous, you need to get in that immigration office and tell them he needs his work authorization, immediately!" Ha! So it's that easy, is it???

Anyone else have people treat you like you're an idiot because they think Canadians don't need visas?

[neiks 19]

Yes, people just don't get it. We live right beside the Canada/US border and people still think it shouldn't be a problem to just pick up and move whenever.

[Carlawarla 1]

I think the same disbelief happens with Americans as well as Canadians. No one in my family or circle of friends could believe the beauracracy and paperwork involved in moving here. There was a belief as well, that after marrying an American citizen, I would be, by virtue of marriage, an American myself. lol

By the same token, my fiance, the US citizen, has been telling people at his work about what we've gone through, in response to various questions about my arrival, and they are astounded themselves! They had no idea about the process. Many have been disgusted by the whole process, and it's been really nice to hear , since there is a strong belief, (from my part of the world here anyway!), that there should be a different process for Canadians.

I don't get any snide or nasty remarks, but people do sigh when I tell them I can't come back until I get a greencard, or if I apply for EAD. Usually the nasty comments are related to the "fees", and that it's all a conspiracy to get money. hehe

I don't know anyone, on either side of the border that thinks this is in any way, a fair, just, or smooth process.

Carla

[notrepetiteashley 0]

I think the same disbelief happens with Americans as well as Canadians. No one in my family or circle of friends could believe the beauracracy and paperwork involved in moving here. There was a belief as well, that after marrying an American citizen, I would be, by virtue of marriage, an American myself. lol

By the same token, my fiance, the US citizen, has been telling people at his work about what we've gone through, in response to various questions about my arrival, and they are astounded themselves! They had no idea about the process. Many have been disgusted by the whole process, and it's been really nice to hear , since there is a strong belief, (from my part of the world here anyway!), that there should be a different process for Canadians.

I don't get any snide or nasty remarks, but people do sigh when I tell them I can't come back until I get a greencard, or if I apply for EAD. Usually the nasty comments are related to the "fees", and that it's all a conspiracy to get money. hehe

I don't know anyone, on either side of the border that thinks this is in any way, a fair, just, or smooth process.

Carla

Haha, I know, right?! Many people were like, well doesn't he just automatically get a green card because he married a US citizen? They've watched too many movies...

[Saddle Bronc 124]

And the myth is also popular with naturalised Canadians (and even those who have never been Canadians) who simply don't understand that USCIS considers BIRTH-country to allocate quotas.

I had plenty of misunderstanding from my parents even when I started the GC process (through employment, from a TN-1), as I had also just broken off an (never-formalised) engagement (for both religious reason, and US immigration headache--try dealing with a Consular Official stationed in an Asian country, who may NOT be NAFTA-cognisant).

[MissStacey 1]

Hee hee- Mel calls me "My Canadian" too.

I have to admit, before we started this whole process, I had no idea what it was going to be like.

I thought being married was going to make all the Immigration stuff so easy, I learned the hard way.

But it is true, if you have never had to deal with Immigration before, you really don't have any clue to what is really involved. Me and Mel didn't. And if you aren't using an attorney, trying to find answers and someone to give you advice on what to do is extremely hard. That was before I found VJ.

Many people- friends, family,etc- of me and Mel are stunned that I can't even go to the US to visit.

[Melyssa 0]

When my Canadian and I were first married, everyone in my family acted like we were nuts for going to the USCIS local office. "But he's Canadian, why would he need a visa, can't he just move down here and live and work?" I got so sick of hearing that.

After a while (it took him a long time to get his EAD and everything) the family started getting much more snippity about it. As though we were just stalling or something. My own brother even had the audacity to say to me, "Well, this is ridiculous, you need to get in that immigration office and tell them he needs his work authorization, immediately!" Ha! So it's that easy, is it???

Anyone else have people treat you like you're an idiot because they think Canadians don't need visas?

Can't say I've had people treat me like an idiot, but they do think the process is ridiculous and just a way to get money or something. I try to explain that I think it's just because there are people trying to get into the U.S. illegally through marriage (which is true sadly - and I think the people who do that are only hurting themselves!) And they understand we want to do things legally and in a way that would be pleasing to God. I've also had people think that I would become an American citizen upon marriage...even my fiancé thought that (and he thought he'd become a Canadian automatically too!) He thought we should just be able to get married and that would be that. And he's the American! lol. A lot of Americans themselves don't have a clue.

Edited March 22, 2007 by melytha

[notrepetiteashley 0]

When my Canadian and I were first married, everyone in my family acted like we were nuts for going to the USCIS local office. "But he's Canadian, why would he need a visa, can't he just move down here and live and work?" I got so sick of hearing that.

After a while (it took him a long time to get his EAD and everything) the family started getting much more snippity about it. As though we were just stalling or something. My own brother even had the audacity to say to me, "Well, this is ridiculous, you need to get in that immigration office and tell them he needs his work authorization, immediately!" Ha! So it's that easy, is it???

Anyone else have people treat you like you're an idiot because they think Canadians don't need visas?

Can't say I've had people treat me like an idiot, but they do think the process is ridiculous and just a way to get money or something. I try to explain that I think it's just because there are people trying to get into the U.S. illegally through marriage (which is true sadly - and I think the people who do that are only hurting themselves!) And they understand we want to do things legally and in a way that would be pleasing to God. I've also had people think that I would become an American citizen upon marriage...even my fiancé thought that (and he thought he'd become a Canadian automatically too!) He thought we should just be able to get married and that would be that. And he's the American! lol. A lot of Americans themselves don't have a clue.

So true, so true. When my husband and I first went to our local USCIS office, I remember actually saying to him, "are you sure we need to be here?" Hahaha. At the very start, I, the USC had no clue. Truly no clue whatsoever how much paperwork, time spent apart, and money this was going to entail. But I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

[warlord 73]

Yep no one on either side of the border gets it. When I originally got my TN Status, everyone thought I was a USC. I explained that one over and over to people. Then being on it for close to 8 years, everyone then just assumed me living here on a TN I was automatically a citizen. That then I had to explain over and over.

Then I got married, so boom everyone here and in Canada (except for my parents) immediatly assumed I was a USC and had to explain that over and over again. Then when I got the Green Card, everyone finally said you're an American. Nope, had to explain that over and over again. Now the issue is everyone in Canada and the US thinks I am no longer Canadian at all, so guess what I have to do? Yep explain that duel-citizenship issue to the point, I just say yep I'm just American cause it never freaking ends.

So yes, people really don't have the slightest clue at any part of of this process...

[Jeremy + Kristy 0]

Definitely have the same thing here. My fiancee was tal.king to her step-mom last night, and she was stating things like "well, so-and-so never had to go to an interview in Montreal." Well, rules change and who knows what the other person's situation was. I'm assuming that before the Walsh Act or whatever that is, it was much easier by being able to directly file at the Toronto consulate, which is what I'm assuming many people have done. My aunt even married a Canadian, and she doesn't believe what I'm going through. Well, her husband had work authorization and didn't "intend" to get married.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

In 1985, it was true that more than one US consulate in Canada did immigrant visa issuance (my sister got hers at Calgary--in days when marrying a PR, you could actually expect to come to US within a reasonable time).

Since at least 1999, ALL IV's are issued @ Montreal (really strange considering it's in a province which makes a lot of noise about separating from Canada, and doesn't even have the largest American population of Canuck cities--that particular goes to Calgary).

I couldn't tell you, however, the time when they "consolidated" all IV process to Montreal.

Edited March 22, 2007 by CherryXS

[warlord 73]

In the early 60's you didn't need anything and could walk across the border and live without problems. So many old people probably think it's the same as it was...

[Mephys 2]

Since at least 1999, ALL IV's are issued @ Montreal (really strange considering it's in a province which makes a lot of noise about separating from Canada, and doesn't even have the largest American population of Canuck cities--that particular goes to Calgary).

Oh well being from quebec myself im always a little sad to hear such comments, afterall its more a politic thing and misinformed people thing. Even though I call myself a quebecer because im french, I really appreciate everything from canada! And yeah some people around me have something against the rest of canada, imagine their face when I tell them that I am moving to the states!!!

About all the ignorance about this immigration process, I have something I can relate too. When I knew about my interview date last month, my fiance called his mom to tell her our wedding date . We want it to be May 12 cause its our anniversary. They she started on the thing that we should do it in July because then we could have a big family party at their house around the pool, have a BBQ, a wedding outside, etc, etc. Then he told her it was impossible because I cant work and I need the marriage license to file for my papers. She seemed to be upset because in her opinion its not the best day and then she said she had coworkers from Canada and they entered the US and got their GC in 2 weeks, which I doubt i bet she is mixing up EAD and GC. Not to mention that his family though we were crazy to wait so long and didnt get why I was not moving right away and just get married last year. They also were not understanding why I might not make it for christmas, i wasnt sure custom would let me through...

And everytime its the same story. Everytime we have to explain from the start, And its the same for people around me asking why you said you would be gone by christmas and youre still here..

I feel like

[Caladan 19]

My family still doesn't believe that C. needs a visa. I'm not sure if they think I made this whole process up to get out of wedding planning, but the whole 'you need to talk to someone, and not just research online' bit is getting very old.

[Cassie 8]

I have a number of members of my family that are very familiar with immigration processes: my cousin's husband is now a dual Canadian-Australian citizen, and another cousin is an American citizen/permanent resident of Canada. So this wasn't new. They were actually surprised how quickly our process took.

I had more questions and incredulousness from American friends/family.