Thinking to move back to my home country

[Beth & Achraf 328]

All I'm going to say , there is some great comments for you here....... give it time (((( Hugs))))

[njs051914 52]

It is a little harsh that she wants to leave her husband because of homesick "feelings"

and pursue other priorities. That is what's harsh about it.

My stance is put on your big girl panties and look what you would be doing to him in exchange for the old life car, job, friend

and family. I don't coddle such thinking. If your spouse thought like that you wouldn't like it either.

What is a car, job and friends in comparison to a husband you profess to love !

If she can get through, that's great. But if things don't get better and she is honestly not happy where she is you suggest she just suck it up and accept an unhappy life/marriage? That's not even fair to her husband, let alone herself.

It seems like you lack the understanding and empathy to grasp that.

Edited July 22, 2016 by njs051914

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

That's correct I lack empathy for anyone who prioritized a car or job or friends over their spouse. She has no marriage issues according to her post and to throw a husband aside for some car or job is not my idea of maturity.

[sashacher 14]

That's correct I lack empathy for anyone who prioritized a car or job or friends over their spouse. She has no marriage issues according to her post and to throw a husband aside for some car or job is not my idea of maturity.

All of your posts have been insensitive and rude. She didn't mention in her post anything about wanting to abandon her marriage or her husband. She didn't mention cars or jobs being worth more to her than her husband is. In fact, you can probably infer from her post that she is thinking about moving back to Indonesia WITH HIM. Being in the US isn't the end-all-be-all to a marriage to a US citizen.

In fact, I can relate to OP. I am currently going through the homesicknesses and missing Canada more than anything. I love my husband very much and he IS my #1 priority in life. I could not imagine my life without him - but that does not mean that I can't miss my home.

It's definitely normal to feel this way, OP. Moving to a new country is always difficult. It may be hard to feel like you "fit in" or it may be difficult to get used to seeing new things and seeing people act in a different manner. It's also very difficult to adjust to a new quality of life (especially if that quality of life is lower!).

My advice would to be sit down with your husband and discuss what you both value most in life and try to determine which country would better suit your values. Or to wait it out and see if your situation will improve. Adjusting takes time

[admendoz25 3]

Yes I hope this is just a homesick. I try to keep myself as positive as I possibly can.

I am trying to meet new people everyday. I came to some business networking events and some job fair events.

I will work on my feelings, I hope things will get better pretty soon.

Thanks for the response, its good knowing that this "homesick" feeling is common for new immigrants.

Yeah American dreams, I need to pursue that and start swallow that my life is where my family live which is here in America now. Kinda hard though to move on from the previous life that we had..

Hey!

Are you saying it's a "COMMON" feeling? Come on! We are human beings! Of course we are going to miss each and every thing we were back in our home countries!

My suggestion: if you are saying that your husband is doing his best at trying to make you feel better, Do not ruin it. He is probably an excellent guy. In my case, I miss my parents so much. But we accepted to marry and form a new team, so live this new adventure. Don't feel discouraged, if you don't find a way, you'll find an excuse!

Best of luck!

[jeessgb 57]

I wish you the best of luck and that you're able to think your whole situation through before making a decision.

I empathise with you a lot because I also had a great job as a construction manager for a multinational here in Mexico and I just quit today. When I move with my fiancé I won't even have a car and I will survive through my savings and whatever he provides for me, which I don't know how it will make me feel because I have always being very independent. I know it's gonna be hard to get a job and obviously harder if not impossible getting one with the same range as the one I had, being a foreigner with no experience in US workplaces. But I also know it will be worth it in the long run.

Reading through the forums it's funny how USC usually think of foreigners as helpless people struggling and rushing to get out of our countries and into USA, when many times that's not the case. But I do believe that USA is a land with many opportunities and where you can make whatever you want out of your career.

I would tell you: don't give up. Give it time, oficially you have only had your work permit for 1 month. That's nothing! You need to give it more time. You already made it from scratch once, you will make it again and even better than before because now you know what needs to be done. Lean on your partner, express your fears and doubts to them, I'm sure his love will make you feel how strong you are together because you're a team know. You don't have to go through this alone.

I wish you the best!!!

Edited July 22, 2016 by jeessgb

[Beth & Achraf 328]

I wish you the best of luck and that you're able to think your whole situation through before making a decision.

I empathise with you a lot because I also had a great job as a construction manager for a multinational here in Mexico and I just quit today. When I move with my fiancé I won't even have a car and I will survive through my savings and whatever he provides for me, which I don't know how it will make me feel because I have always being very independent. I know it's gonna be hard to get a job and obviously harder if not impossible getting one with the same range as the one I had, being a foreigner with no experience in US workplaces. But I also know it will be worth it in the long run.

Reading through the forums it's funny how USC usually think of foreigners as helpless people struggling and rushing to get out of our countries and into USA, when many times that's not the case. But I do believe that USA is a land with many opportunities and where you can make whatever you want out of your career.

I would tell you: don't give up. Give it time, oficially you have only had your work permit for 1 month. That's nothing! You need to give it more time. You already made it from scratch once, you will make it again and even better than before because now you know what needs to be done. Lean on your partner, express your fears and doubts to them, I'm sure his love will make you feel how strong you are together because you're a team know. You don't have to go through this alone.

I wish you the best!!!

Very , very nice...... and so true.

Wishing you the best too when your here with your fiancé'.

[bungajustin 19]

I wish you the best of luck and that you're able to think your whole situation through before making a decision.

I empathise with you a lot because I also had a great job as a construction manager for a multinational here in Mexico and I just quit today. When I move with my fiancé I won't even have a car and I will survive through my savings and whatever he provides for me, which I don't know how it will make me feel because I have always being very independent. I know it's gonna be hard to get a job and obviously harder if not impossible getting one with the same range as the one I had, being a foreigner with no experience in US workplaces. But I also know it will be worth it in the long run.

Reading through the forums it's funny how USC usually think of foreigners as helpless people struggling and rushing to get out of our countries and into USA, when many times that's not the case. But I do believe that USA is a land with many opportunities and where you can make whatever you want out of your career.

I would tell you: don't give up. Give it time, oficially you have only had your work permit for 1 month. That's nothing! You need to give it more time. You already made it from scratch once, you will make it again and even better than before because now you know what needs to be done. Lean on your partner, express your fears and doubts to them, I'm sure his love will make you feel how strong you are together because you're a team know. You don't have to go through this alone.

I wish you the best!!!

Its very true. Thanks for your sweet support. I wish you can have a great future life and career.

I am sure I will give it a time and keep trying to figure it out to be able to have a happy live here in the US.

Edited July 22, 2016 by bungajustin

[Russ&Caro 1,549]

** deleted by Russ&Caro **

Same points made by sashacher, above.

Edited July 22, 2016 by Russ&Caro

[Vexie 4]

I'm in the same boat - my life was better in the UK if you factor out my husband. We're talking about moving to the UK as I'm not happy here - but we're going to give it a few years here first and try a different US city as well. Its a difficult situation where I've gone from being a very independent city-dweller to being completely reliant on someone else in a tiny "city". We're hoping things get better once I can at least drive as I've been essentially housebound due to it - a car is essential where we live due to no public transit and everything being really far apart. I've sadly not made any friends here yet and his family is... not interested in helping me settle in.

We very much feel that if we were in a larger city I'd be happier when it comes to making friends and finding things to do. The only meet-up groups here I've found are parent or church related- I'm not religious and we don't have kids so its tricky. The local college won't enroll me on even a leisure course until I have my green card (not EAD, green card!) and even if they did I'd find it hard to get there right now if my husbands shifts changed which they quite often do.

I'm filling my time with video games, brushing up on my spanish and repeatedly refreshing the status update on my case. Life's too short to be miserable - love my husband but I can't wait to move! With him in tow of course

Edited July 22, 2016 by Vexie

[soulstriker 274]

hmm jobs , cars , friends most of those things you can find anywhere , but finding one person you spend the rest of your life with in happiness doesn't happen to everyone , theres still ppl now in there 50s and up who never were lucky enough to find their life partner , but they sure do have their friends , cars, jobs etc . Give yourself some time you just made a huge move in your life . I feel bad for the petitioner because he probably put all of his soul into trying to make your move smooth as possible

do some one on one with your husband , or do some counseling

[dandk 72]

To OP,

Reading your previous background in Indonesia and while still applying for positions, you should consider getting yourself certified in Six Sigma Black Belt or at least Green Belt. PMP certification is also recommended.

Edited July 22, 2016 by dandk

[bungajustin 19]

To OP,

Reading your previous background in Indonesia and while still applying for positions, you should consider getting yourself certified in Sig Sigma Black Belt or at least Green Belt. PMP certification is also recommended.

PMP sounds interesting, I will look to it more. Thanks for the idea.

[subwayguy 100]

Hi All,

I believe some of you have experienced the same situations that I am facing here now. I need to figure out how to get out of my feelings and situations.

In my home country, Indonesia, I was running my own company in Recruitment Consultant. My life pretty excellent there, with upper class living situation. I tried to take my husband moved to my country but his job as a Nurse Practitioner is not promising and pay so less there. I can not kill his career and I dont want to have him feel bad about himself, so I decided to move to US with him, considering that it may gonna be easier for me to build my career in US instead of him in Indonesia. Then I sell my Company along with some of my assets and move to US.

So I've been here in the US since Feb '16, green card and driving license already in hand since June '16. Life seems pretty good at the beginning. I keep applying jobs even though still there is no interview or anything good yet. Its been quite sometimes now and I start feeling so low, less confident, and the worst is I start comparing my life in Indonesia and here in the US. I compare everything from living situations, car, job, friends, family. I start missing and love the life I had in Indonesia more than the life I am having in US.

I know my husband been doing the best he can to make the transition as smooth as possible, I dont want to hurt him by saying this but I really dont like the life in the US anymore. I just wanna fly back to Indonesia and back to my old life. I dont feel happy anymore here, everyday is another unhappy life.

Is this some common feeling or situations that most of new immigrants have? if anyone have experiencing similar feeling please let me know how to get through this feeling and feel happy again or help me to decide if maybe moving back to my country is gonna be best decision.

Nurse practitioners make 120k + a year. That is a good.money anywhere maybe except.NYC or SF in the states.

But I know what you are talking about , not being able to enjoy the life and previligles afforded to you in a country where the gap between the rich and poor is unmeasurable.

It is a fairly easy choice for you

Stay , or leave.

If I were you, I'd leave .

[lala64 93]

This is the 3rd I want to go home home thread I read just this evening.

I was also an immigrant and frankly can not relate to any of it.

Marriage is about commitment not feelings. It is about making a life together.

If cars, jobs, friends and family mean more to you than your husband then do him a favor and move back

and divorce so he can find happiness with someone who makes him a first priority.

It is normal to 'feel' homesick to some degree but this is about being an adult and not summer camp.

I just don't get it.

Me either... as difficult as it was to get here not to mention the money it took for the process, I do believe that you should talk it over with your husband so he is not in the dark once you buy your plane ticket. It is normal to feel homesick trust me I just came from a 90 business trip and I homesick as well. But it should never be about your status when it comes to your marriage.. living in a upper class situation and now in America you consider your self poor? I wish you the best of luck and I have to agree with Ebunoluwa. Are these things not considered before you apply for this type of Visa? I will pray for your husband. I have no advice that would not get me banned from visa journey.

good luck!