Pinay wife doesn't want to help pay bills

[Lee&Ana 88]

To all the guys that brought their pinay fiancé to the USA and then got married: when your wife started working, did she contribute to the household expenses or did she keep the money for herself while expecting you to pay for everything?

My wife expects to be chauffeured to work by me, especially during my normal sleeping hours, but keeps all her money for herself.

She has been talking non-stop about taking a vacation to the Philippines and could care less about contributing to our lifestyle here. She is obsessed about how much money she has. When she doesn't get that much work she complains but also complains if she works 6 days a week.

Recently, a job was offered to her that pays significantly more than she is making now and has steady hours yet she is not interested because she wants nothing to stop her from vacationing in the Philippines.

For those curious, my wife has been here almost 14 months and married almost a year.

How are all the Kano husbands dealing with the homesickness, immaturity and possible money grubbing that they have to endure like I do. Anyone who is not married to a pinay need not reply.

[Boiler 45,516]

I have seen many many similar threads, might be worthwhile reading them.

[Unlockable 7,314]

Been discussed plenty of times on here. Search the words "Sending money to family" or "Money problems" in the Philippines section of VJ. It will give you an idea of how Filipinos view having money in the US and what it means to them.

Just so you know the Philippines isn't the only culture this occurs.

[Charming12 59]

typical fobby problem. lol

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/583919-regret-marrying-k1-pinay/#entry7989574

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/591739-i-want-to-pull-affidavit-of-support-before-aos-approved/#entry8087165

I'm not really sure why you are still doing this..

[Greenbaum 12,259]

Sorry but you need to get the pants from her, put them on and stop being a wuss. You have a big problem on yours hands. If you don't fix it now your going to be miserable. Read this topic and educate yourself on what others say.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/583919-regret-marrying-k1-pinay/#entry7989574

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/591739-i-want-to-pull-affidavit-of-support-before-aos-approved/#entry8087165

I'm not really sure why you are still doing this..

Some people enjoy the torturing ride

[minions2 24]

tell her she needs to contribute or else she is out but tell it in a nicer way. that is what my bf told me too, he is scared that if we get married i would give our money away to my family. but i assured him that i would use my own money and would still leave more for us.. and so far we havent gotten any BIG problem. he just complains that i send few times a month but i worked for it BUT still contributes to bills

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

To be fair, if my husband ever spoke to me to way you speak about your wife in some of your other threads I wouldn't exactly feel inclined to work hard and support him either.

If you aren't happy with your marriage then you always have the option to end it. You cannot force another person to meet your expectations.

If your wife is homesick then it seems like she is the one dealing with that, not you?

[tolitzpogi 37]

I think there may be something here you're not telling us... you may be having constant arguments with her about whatever that might be prompting her to behave the way she's allegedly behaving.

My wife is a firecracker and changes moods faster than I can change my underwear, but I know she loves me and cares for me regardless of our constant arguments. In her case, what she earns at work is hers and hers alone and I don't intrude in her finances, because she sends money to her parents in the PI and spoils her two children here. I have learned not to expect her to share in the bills and contribute to the rent for now (mainly because her paycheck is minuscule compared to mine), and her penchant for shopping for new clothes has often been a sore point for me. But I have learned to weigh in the good with the bad, and in my eyes she has way more positive points, and that's what I think about every time I have the urge to start an argument.

Granted, she cooks and cleans the house, albeit not as often as I want to, but she does her part and I always compliment her and praise her on her cooking. She is visibly happier when she talks to her parents and siblings on Skype than she is with me, but that is a given since she knows them way longer than she has known me.

I guess my point is to understand where she's coming from. I don't blame her for wanting to go back to the Philippines, it's another given for those who relocate to another country without the family they grew up with (not just for those from the Philippines), but I guess the tighter the family relationship, the stronger the desire is to reconnect, and Philippine family structures are one of the tightest in the world.

Ultimately the decision is up to you. You have control over the situation and you know best what the current circumstances are. Everyone wants to be happy. She wants to do what makes her happy, so I suggest you do the same as well.

Good luck.

[lbrown 2]

I met my hubby online and I flew here from the Philippines to meet him using my own money and visa. I couldn't work at first so I didn't contribute but the minute I got my work visa, it's all fair game from there. We are 50/50 with all of the bills.

[Lee&Ana 88]

I eliminated the Filipino package on my Directv subscription and told her if she wanted it, she would have to pay for it. She just bought her own plane ticket for her trip to the Philippines, one way. We will see what her attitude is once she is in the Philippines. And I stopped driving her to work and losing my sleep because of it. She now takes the bus and pays for the ticket.

She wanted to learn to drive in the past, but I told her she would have to pay for some of the operating costs of one of the cars that I own. That pretty much ended that conversation.

I cannot comprehend why women from the Philippines look for an American, come to America and then cannot wait to go back to their country. They should just stay in their country and find a pinoy to marry.

I haven't been to my home state in over 10 years and I don't sit around complaining about it.

If it is so great in the Philippines, then why leave??

For the readers' information, I did purchase my wife a ticket 2 months ago to go home because I had enough of her nonsense. She didn't feel as though she had enough "spending" money, so she tried to extort me for spending money. My car had broken down that night, 36 hours before she was supposed to leave and she could care less. So I had to cancel the flight.

[tolitzpogi 37]

I cannot comprehend why women from the Philippines look for an American, come to America and then cannot wait to go back to their country. They should just stay in their country and find a pinoy to marry.

I haven't been to my home state in over 10 years and I don't sit around complaining about it.

If it is so great in the Philippines, then why leave??

I assume you're not generalizing, because if you were, you'll open a can of worms that'll just get you embarrassed

Weren't you the one who petitioned for her to be with you, which is why she left her country? Or did she force you to have her go there and stay with you against your will?

Stay reasonable and avoid blaming an entire people for your personal frustrations...

Edited July 21, 2016 by tolitzpogi

[aaron2020 11,651]

I eliminated the Filipino package on my Directv subscription and told her if she wanted it, she would have to pay for it. She just bought her own plane ticket for her trip to the Philippines, one way. We will see what her attitude is once she is in the Philippines. And I stopped driving her to work and losing my sleep because of it. She now takes the bus and pays for the ticket.

She wanted to learn to drive in the past, but I told her she would have to pay for some of the operating costs of one of the cars that I own. That pretty much ended that conversation.

I cannot comprehend why women from the Philippines look for an American, come to America and then cannot wait to go back to their country. They should just stay in their country and find a pinoy to marry.

I haven't been to my home state in over 10 years and I don't sit around complaining about it.

If it is so great in the Philippines, then why leave??

For the readers' information, I did purchase my wife a ticket 2 months ago to go home because I had enough of her nonsense. She didn't feel as though she had enough "spending" money, so she tried to extort me for spending money. My car had broken down that night, 36 hours before she was supposed to leave and she could care less. So I had to cancel the flight.

File for divorce. She is not going to change her attitude about her money being hers alone and your money belonging to both of you.

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

I eliminated the Filipino package on my Directv subscription and told her if she wanted it, she would have to pay for it. She just bought her own plane ticket for her trip to the Philippines, one way. We will see what her attitude is once she is in the Philippines. And I stopped driving her to work and losing my sleep because of it. She now takes the bus and pays for the ticket.

She wanted to learn to drive in the past, but I told her she would have to pay for some of the operating costs of one of the cars that I own. That pretty much ended that conversation.

I cannot comprehend why women from the Philippines look for an American, come to America and then cannot wait to go back to their country. They should just stay in their country and find a pinoy to marry.

I haven't been to my home state in over 10 years and I don't sit around complaining about it.

If it is so great in the Philippines, then why leave??

For the readers' information, I did purchase my wife a ticket 2 months ago to go home because I had enough of her nonsense. She didn't feel as though she had enough "spending" money, so she tried to extort me for spending money. My car had broken down that night, 36 hours before she was supposed to leave and she could care less. So I had to cancel the flight.

You expect your wife to pay before she can drive your car? I don't do that to my friends let alone my spouse.

You make it sound like your wife sought you out and planned this whole coming to America thing herself when in the other thread you clearly state that YOU were the one with the plan to have her work and make more money than you.

If you think that moving to another state is anything like moving across the world to a new place with an entirely different culture, language and way of life than you are completely out of touch with reality.