K1 visa decided not to marry anymore and go back to the Philippines

[Georgia16 2,858]

I think all the foreign female beneficiaries should chime in on why they came to the USA?

Very easy question. The man I love and will spend the rest of my life live there and could not come to Denmark and therefore I had to move here (USA). Maybe someday we will be lucky and go back but not in the next couple of years.

[QueenComley 295]

I think all the foreign female beneficiaries should chime in on why they came to the USA?

Because I have 2 step children who I have been step momma to now for over 5 years. I have a beautiful stepdaughter aged 13 and an equally handsome stepson who is 11 :-) Children come before anything and everything no matter how home sick I may be. That is why I came to the USA rather than have me and my husband live in the UK.

Edited July 23, 2016 by QueenComley

[Lemonslice 4,804]

I think all the foreign female beneficiaries should chime in on why they came to the USA?

Come on now, everybody knows Canadians only seek American spouses to escape the harsh winters.

[Scandi 4,154]

I think all the foreign female beneficiaries should chime in on why they came to the USA?

I'll move to the US because the love of my life can't move to Sweden. I would much rather see him come here to live with me but his job and family situation doesn't allow that at the moment, so I will have to be the one to leave everything and move. Hopefully one day we'll be lucky enough to be able to move to Sweden, we'll see.

[Illiria 980]

My husband had the opportunity to get a permanent job in his field, not an easy thing to do, and that meant moving here. I have a job I can do in any place he is also working. If he had stayed in our home country for my job which was at a more prestigious company than the one I am at now he would have had to leave his field which neither of us wanted.

Our situation is different than most as even though we did the fiancé visa we both moved to the us, he was born in the us but grew up in my home country. So we both gave up family and friends to move here, not the first time we have done this either for his job. None of his biological family are here in the US so we are truly alone, apart from the new friends we have made.

This is the third time we have moved continent for his work, it doesn't get any easier each time I do it but I always find that once I have a job and we start making friends then the homesickness fades.

[A&K0608 3]

Those 3rd world countries foreign spouses should be grateful that their knight in shining armor USCs save them from their awful places and bring them to the land of opportunity with roads paved with gold

Have you been to where she lived before? We don't know what kind of life she had prior US so...let's not assume she had an awful life home. Sometimes, even if the King offers you gold and diamonds if you are not HAPPY with them, NOTHING can make you happy. Happiness is a choice. If I choose to be happy just by having $1 in my pocket living in an awful 3rd world country nothing and no one can change that.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Have you been to where she lived before? We don't know what kind of life she had prior US so...let's not assume she had an awful life home. Sometimes, even if the King offers you gold and diamonds if you are not HAPPY with them, NOTHING can make you happy. Happiness is a choice. If I choose to be happy just by having $1 in my pocket living in an awful 3rd world country nothing and no one can change that.

[TBoneTX 45,089]

Let's return focus to the OP's situation.

[Lee&Ana 88]

So the few female beneficiaries all have the same answer: they love their fiancé/spouse, which is the correct answer. Being with the one they chose to be with and love should override homesickness. You cannot have your cake and eat it too. This whining about being homesick is nauseating. It sounds like children that want ice cream before dinner and their parents won't allow it. They all need to grow up because all of us who entered this visa journey,which is unique, are involved in an adult situation that only adults can make it work. This includes my wife. I have been dealing with this homesick bs for 14 months now

[Suss&Camm 2,213]

So the few female beneficiaries all have the same answer: they love their fiancé/spouse, which is the correct answer. Being with the one they chose to be with and love should override homesickness. You cannot have your cake and eat it too. This whining about being homesick is nauseating. It sounds like children that want ice cream before dinner and their parents won't allow it. They all need to grow up because all of us who entered this visa journey,which is unique, are involved in an adult situation that only adults can make it work. This includes my wife. I have been dealing with this homesick bs for 14 months now

Wow.. I haven't read the start of this, but I find this statement really cold and void of all empathy...

I have thought many many many times over about this... I'm moving to be with the man I love and if we could, we would have him move here, to Sweden.. But it's not an option...

I do however expect him to have understanding when I will feel homesick...

Just because you have made a choice doesn't mean that it's always easy, and the US spouse needs to be suportive of that situation...

I can only imagine how lonely I will feel having left my whole support system at home...not being able to work..being unfamiliar with how things work... etc etc

So, of course waves of homesickness will most likely hit me... I know I have a F who understands this tho... thank goodness for this...

[Suss&Camm 2,213]

And the term "override homesickness" ..as if we are all robots that can switch things off and on .. The world is not black or white, it's not an all or nothing situation... I won't have less love for my spouse cause I'll be homesick... that's absurd!

[Georgia16 2,858]

So the few female beneficiaries all have the same answer: they love their fiancé/spouse, which is the correct answer. Being with the one they chose to be with and love should override homesickness. You cannot have your cake and eat it too. This whining about being homesick is nauseating. It sounds like children that want ice cream before dinner and their parents won't allow it. They all need to grow up because all of us who entered this visa journey,which is unique, are involved in an adult situation that only adults can make it work. This includes my wife. I have been dealing with this homesick bs for 14 months now

I'm homesick sometimes too so I get her feeling. Yes you move because of love but that doesn't mean that you can't be homesick. I have my melt downs like one day shopping for food and we couldn't find anything I needed for the Danish food that and just the combination of being away made me so sad. I'm in a group on Facebook with other Danes in USA and asked them for advice on the food and they helped a lot. Same day my man took me to a international store and we found quite some Danish/Scandinavien things that we bought and he ordered some Danish butter online for me also. It may sounds stupid but it just helped to get something from back home.

You wife love you and left everything she knows to be with you the least thing you could do was to try and understand and/or at least support her. She has to do things herself also.

[Unidentified 2,930]

OP do you think this is homesickness or did you realize that you just don't love the guy?

Homesickness is normal, you just don't let it take over your life. If it's homesickness, have you done something to get rid of it? How often do you talk to people back home? Have you gone out and tried to find new friends? Explored you're new city?

The feeling of homesickness can come and go. I've been in the states for 5 year on different visa's. I wouldn't say I have had problems with homesickness, I love the US. But sometimes, especially now that my father is gone and my mom is getting older, I feel I should be in Sweden taking care of her. But I know that my husband wouldn't be able to find work and it something I have to deal with as I choose to be with my husband.

Moving to another city is a big step. How long did you know him before you moved? Maybe you didn't get to know him well enough and now you're here and you realize he is different in "real life" than over the internet.

[Lee&Ana 88]

When my wife(then fiancé) first came to the USA, I did everything I could to be supportive. I tried to create a "Filipino" life here for her except with modern American conveniences. I got her a top of the line Filipino Directv package($40 month), we ate nothing but Filipino food for 6 months, went to every Filipino market and restaurant here in town. I even introduced her to every Filipino I knew, male and female. I would ask female Filipina coworkers if my wife could be friends with her on Facebook. To no avail. Homesick was the state of mind and an excuse to act anyway she wanted.

The problem as I see it is that foreign beneficiaries from 3rd world countries do not contribute to the immigration process. So they have no idea what the cost was to bring them here or what was sacrificed in order to do so. Even when they start working they still may not be able to grasp the concept. The k1 visa is not something that you can mess around with. It is more of a you want it or you don't situation. There is no time and space for indecision. If there is doubt it should be communicated before the k1 visa package is filed.

[Umka36 781]

I'd be curious why some US folks select mates from certain countries (especially 3rd world). More likely than not, many people aren't going to give an honest answer here because it would put them in a negative light and that's fine. You just need to be honest with yourself. This works for the immigrant as well.

Why also complain about how time/money you are out when the relationship fails? International relationships is not cheap (that's the price we all pay), so if this is a concern then date locally. I've said this before, but you are not guaranteed a long lasting relationship just because you brought a foreign spouse to the US. My only recommendation is take your time getting to know the person, because it always seems like everyone is trying to rush due to being in "love". "Love" alone will not make a relationship last.