Hurt and confused

[RodDetroit 118]

I married my US citizen husband less than two weeks ago with the understanding that we need to file my papers quickly because my i-94 is almost up. Without any arguments or such he told me a lot of lies and then disappeared. He won't answer my calls or text. Before he left he signed the 130, 465 and 864 forms. He didn't give me any passport pictures nor a copy of his birth certificate. Now my time is just about up and I don't know what to do. Please help.

your story has so many gaps to the point that makes me wonder why he would leave you just like that. your i94 is almost up, did you get a 6 month visit? . Like you have informed marrying an american doesnt give you the right to remain in the US. i do believe you came to the US with the hope to find some one otherwise makes no sense that you would be willing to leave your life back home just for some one you just met, did you even have a job in your home country ? . Where have you been living and supporting yourself all these time?. I do agree it is wrong that he ghosted you but seems like something triggered his action, if you overstay you will be banned from the US and Canada

[Cheezees 1,514]

This will sound harsh.

I believed him and still do when he said he wants to make a life with me. Why? Someone who wants to make a life with you does not abandon you. But his family and friends were against it from the day he told them he was going to marry me. It seems like he is against it as well. They told him he should ask for money. It seems like he is not just asking but demanding to be away from you. But we wanted a real marriage life together. He clearly doesn't . We already decided on which night would be date night, pizza night, family night etc. Then all by himself he decided on which night would be abandonment night. I have hope that he will return because even though our time together was short it was compact. I actually don't hope someone like this returns to your life. No one deserves abandonment like that. He is not a mature man. I don't think it's anything to do with romance since we haven't actually done the deed yet because of mother nature, however, the sexual attraction is intense between us. Very irrelevant. It hurts to think that he may have already started the divorce proceedings because I am anticipating building our lives together. Still? Why? He has not been kind to you or even neutral. If my husband disrespected me like that I would divorce him right away. This "marriage" is in the earliest of early stages. Nip it in the bud. This is NOT the way to start off ANY kind of relationship. Why are you putting up with this? Are you desperate to move to/stay in the US? Do you have low self- esteem? Do you not think there are better men out there? (There are!)

I will return home. Yes, please do not jeopardize your ability to one day return and possibly immigrate based on this foolish, immature man. You deserve much more than this. I understand the thrill of a whirlwind romance. It is exciting, fun, and sweeps you off your feet. However, this guy has sent a hurricane your way that just dropped you on your butt. As hard as it might be and as emotional and raw are things seem now, FORGET HIM. RUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!! This "marriage" screams of heartache and disappointment. You are worth so much more.

Edited July 12, 2016 by Cheezees

[soulstriker 274]

you seem to be brushing off the details when ppl have asked you how long have u been with him? how long was when he said he wanted to marry etc etc , if you want advise ppl cant give you advice without details

as ppl had said best to return home

[USAMorocco 143]

Done the deed ? Mother Nature ? Care to explain what you mean ?

Hope you can work it out when/if he comes back.

The whole thing is bizarre.

I'm going to go out on a limb here lol they didn't do IT because she had her monthly friend ?? my question is WHY WOULD his family say to ask for money if this was a legit relationship and Exactly how long has OP been here? Something seems a little off. Maybe it's just me because I'm a skeptic. But the fact that his family said to ask for money added to she came here met him and got married makes me think there is more to this story.

[USAMorocco 143]

Where are you even staying at?

And conversations like what night will be what aren't something stable enough to base a dream relationship on. Shoot, my husband and I agree date night is when ever we both are off from working and not exhausted LOL.. I don't think we ever talked about what night would be what, mainly because it doesn't really matter at the end of the day. Things like that aren't usually the foundation of relationships.

But yeah, you'll need to leave the country and file for divorce. Even if you sent off the papers and everything was completed, he'd most likely not show up for the interview and cause an immediate denial.

Something seems off with this whole thing and any man that can do this whether is was looking for someone to marry to stay here or not is a big D. I had to chuckle at the date night thing. It sounds like teenage puppy love and like he was playing mind games from the start. Very sad.

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

Family says he should ask for money???

Not in the US

and in Morocco the woman gets the dowery

but in US a dowery is not normal and basically it is like buying the marriage and the right to stay

if he asks you for money to marry or complete your case, call 911 and turn the idiot in

[Transborderwife 4,666]

your story has so many gaps to the point that makes me wonder why he would leave you just like that. your i94 is almost up, did you get a 6 month visit? . Like you have informed marrying an american doesnt give you the right to remain in the US. i do believe you came to the US with the hope to find some one otherwise makes no sense that you would be willing to leave your life back home just for some one you just met, did you even have a job in your home country ? . Where have you been living and supporting yourself all these time?. I do agree it is wrong that he ghosted you but seems like something triggered his action, if you overstay you will be banned from the US and Canada

What does Canada have to do with it?

[JC&BB 33]

regardless of how short or long the relationship was if someone doesn't want to be honest they can do something like this... So don't let anyone make you feel bad about the timing of the relationship. But this man clearly isn't ready for a marriage at this time, so don't wrap yourself up into thinking he could or would come back, what he's done to you is wrong and no one should be treated like this..... I don't think his family has anything to do with this, he is grown... Go home, file for the divorce, and learn from this experience. Nothing wrong with falling in love at first sight just make sure its with the right person.

[RodDetroit 118]

What does Canada have to do with it?

very simple, when you over stay in the US , Canada banns you from entry and rejects any visa application. There is a case in the Canadian media where a Brazilian man is banned from Canada to spend the last days of his moms life because he over stayed in the US .

[Transborderwife 4,666]

very simple, when you over stay in the US , Canada banns you from entry and rejects any visa application. There is a case in the Canadian media where a Brazilian man is banned from Canada to spend the last days of his moms life because he over stayed in the US .

It's not automatic. I know several who have been banned to the USA and have got into Canada reasonably easy. Canada doesn't automatically ban you.

[Cathi 5,755]

Family says he should ask for money???

Not in the US

and in Morocco the woman gets the dowery

but in US a dowery is not normal and basically it is like buying the marriage and the right to stay

if he asks you for money to marry or complete your case, call 911 and turn the idiot in

there is not a single thing the police can or will do for her. 911 is for emergencies, this is not an emergency.

OP:Go home

Edited July 12, 2016 by mimolicious

[Caykay1 71]

I married my US citizen husband less than two weeks ago with the understanding that we need to file my papers quickly because my i-94 is almost up. Without any arguments or such he told me a lot of lies and then disappeared. He won't answer my calls or text. Before he left he signed the 130, 465 and 864 forms. He didn't give me any passport pictures nor a copy of his birth certificate. Now my time is just about up and I don't know what to do. Please help.

From what you're saying, it looks like you're more concerned about getting your papers than the marriage. Maybe he thought about it later and realized he doesn't want to do this anymore. Especially with your papers being the primary concern. You can't send in anything because you're going to need him for other initial steps. Good luck.

[QueenComley 295]

I believed him and still do when he said he wants to make a life with me. But his family and friends were against it from the day he told them he was going to marry me. They told him he should ask for money. But we wanted a real marriage life together. We already decided on which night would be date night, pizza night, family night etc. I have hope that he will return because even though our time together was short it was compact. I don't think it's anything to do with romance since we haven't actually done the deed yet because of mother nature, however, the sexual attraction is intense between us. It hurts to think that he may have already started the divorce proceedings because I am anticipating building our lives together.

I will return home.

Sexual attraction and the promise of Pizza is not the glue that holds a life long commitment (otherwise known as marriage) together. This guy has behaved appallingly and I sense some naivety on your part. Even if he were to come back, Is this the kind of marriage you are looking for? I agree with everyone else. Return home, divorce from your home country and move on.

[ExPatty 502]

I believed him and still do when he said he wants to make a life with me. But his family and friends were against it from the day he told them he was going to marry me. They told him he should ask for money. But we wanted a real marriage life together. We already decided on which night would be date night, pizza night, family night etc. I have hope that he will return because even though our time together was short it was compact. I don't think it's anything to do with romance since we haven't actually done the deed yet because of mother nature, however, the sexual attraction is intense between us. It hurts to think that he may have already started the divorce proceedings because I am anticipating building our lives together.

I will return home.

You've said that this guy you just met and married has "told me a lot of lies and then disappeared. He won't answer my calls or text". So you have a brand new relationship and the guy is lying and no longer responding to you, yet you still believe he wants to make a life with you.

Your marriage is obviously a sham and has no future. The sooner you come to this realization the better. There is a reason people tend not to marry people they've just met. There's also a reason all his friends and family were against this. It was a terrible idea.

Edited July 12, 2016 by ExPatty

[SK2014 44]

I am so sorry this has happened and I get it the heart wants what it wants and love can make you do things you never thought you would.

It sounds like he has realised that being married is a commitment he may not be ready for.

From my understanding it sounds like you have not known each other long enough to know what each other wants. If you don't mind me asking it sounds like you married within days of meeting I maybe wrong?

If he has been gone without contact for two weeks (even a day ) without knowing where he is or if he is coming back I think it's safe to say he is not committed to the relationship and you at this point are without an option but to leave before your I-94 expires so you do not incurr any legal penalties in the future

Think about yourself right now just as he is doing you need to do what's best for you - use your head NOT your heart you need to be practical and realistic now

You do not have to divorce right away if you feel that you can work it out but maybe work on getting to know each other longer maybe he can come visit you in your country and get to know you and your family / friends

If later you both decide marriage is what you both want then he can petition you as his wife to come back to USA

Keep a copy of the original certificate of marriage safe you will need it for whatever you choose to do.

Again I am so sorry this has happened to you. I wish you all the happiness for the future

Good luck

Edited July 12, 2016 by SK2014