Freaking out (again)

[Marrienne 112]

Hey VJers,

I am 2 weeks away from flying out to the US and I very ambivalent about it.

The reason is my mother in law has been pushy to a great degree about me getting a job there to feed my family.

They have been amazing and I do mean AMAZING in helping us out but I am afraid I will let them down if I don't get a super job right away.

Nobody understands my feelings. They are all starry eyed about the US thinking gold flows in the streets. They have no idea at what a bottom level an Immigrant starts from. I have a teaching degreet which I come to find out might not meet the American standards so I might not be able to teach. (I don't mind being an aide though )

I am suddenly very scared of being in a foreign country with 3 small kids and no job. My husband hasn't worked in 15 years and his parents keep telling me how this is really bad in the US and how this makes him hard to employ and how I must be the one to tackle this issue.

I can't even drive in th US. Even my driver's licence is useless!

Nobody understands here!! All they see is the pretty house waiting for us. They don't realize that said "pretty house" has bills and taxes and maintenance etc.

There is no such thing as a freebie!!

I am terrified of failing there and having nowhere to go.

My husband and I have a strong marriage but I fear this might put a strain on our relationship.

Please wish me luck in finding a job!! We are going to a "good" area with 4% unemployment rate.

Share your stories with me please especially if you were scared too!!

[Merrytooth 5,748]

What is your USC hubby's plan after returning to US, if you can't work right away?

[Golden Gate 530]

Hey VJers,

I am 2 weeks away from flying out to the US and I very ambivalent about it.

The reason is my mother in law has been pushy to a great degree about me getting a job there to feed my family.

They have been amazing and I do mean AMAZING in helping us out but I am afraid I will let them down if I don't get a super job right away.

Nobody understands my feelings. They are all starry eyed about the US thinking gold flows in the streets. They have no idea at what a bottom level an Immigrant starts from. I have a teaching degreet which I come to find out might not meet the American standards so I might not be able to teach. (I don't mind being an aide though )

I am suddenly very scared of being in a foreign country with 3 small kids and no job. My husband hasn't worked in 15 years and his parents keep telling me how this is really bad in the US and how this makes him hard to employ and how I must be the one to tackle this issue.

I can't even drive in th US. Even my driver's licence is useless!

Nobody understands here!! All they see is the pretty house waiting for us. They don't realize that said "pretty house" has bills and taxes and maintenance etc.

There is no such thing as a freebie!!

I am terrified of failing there and having nowhere to go.

My husband and I have a strong marriage but I fear this might put a strain on our relationship.

Please wish me luck in finding a job!! We are going to a "good" area with 4% unemployment rate.

Share your stories with me please especially if you were scared too!!

First of all, it isn't up to you to be the sole support of the family because your husband hasn't worked in 15 years. It is sad that they are putting that pressure on you. Not sure why he would be unemployable. He can always apply with temp agencies and get some other kind of work. Who is sponsoring you? What is your teaching degree in? Is it high school, elementary, or what? Probably you can take some courses at college and take the Michigan Test for Teacher Certification, but it will take a little time to do that. In the meantime, you probably can work as an aide or possibly as a substitute teacher or even as a tutor. Do you speak any other languages besides Greek and English? Where are you moving to in Michigan?

[Marrienne 112]

Sponsors are my in laws.

I used to speak French and Italian but haven't used them in 20 years!

I have also worked as a translator ans interpreter.

I have several computer certifications including but not limited to Web Design and Photoshop.

I also do freelance professional photography (mostly weddings, kids and pregnancy photos).

I am a kindergarten teacher but most often than not I get preschool.

I am also qualified (in Greece at least ) to teach English and I have 19 years experience from children to adults.

I do have skills just not a super strong degree at least according to American standards.

We are moving to Grand Rapids.

I don't know why my husband would be so hard to employ. His.mother keeps saying that.

[Marrienne 112]

Sorry about crazy typos. My phone is nuts!

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

Seems like if you don't find a job, you can start a photography business or even do something with one of your many qualifications.

Your in- laws should pass that advice on to their son. smh.

But even though it sounds scary, if their son is a bum (sorry my harsh words), then you might end up facing these "fears" you are having now.

Talk to your partner about what he is doing to find a job. You don't wanna be a slave for someone who claims to be "unemployable". Even ex-convicts find jobs.

Stay calm and get here first. Anything certification you have back might be useful here so bring any of those that you have there.

You have more skills than lots of people.

It is not your responsibility to take care of their family or even your husband especially when he is capable.

Just get here.. You will be fine...Be safe!

[Golden Gate 530]

Sponsors are my in laws.

I used to speak French and Italian but haven't used them in 20 years!

I have also worked as a translator ans interpreter.

I have several computer certifications including but not limited to Web Design and Photoshop.

I also do freelance professional photography (mostly weddings, kids and pregnancy photos).

I am a kindergarten teacher but most often than not I get preschool.

I am also qualified (in Greece at least ) to teach English and I have 19 years experience from children to adults.

I do have skills just not a super strong degree at least according to American standards.

We are moving to Grand Rapids.

I don't know why my husband would be so hard to employ. His.mother keeps saying that.

Ah, ok. Well, I think it would not be hard to get qualified as a Preschool Teacher here. You might check out Grand Rapids Community College for those courses. I live in the Grand Rapids area, as well. You might be able to get employment through the Grand Rapids Public Schools, as they are always looking for people, but it can be a tough district to work in, depending on which school, but it is big. However, you might need to find out what they require and find out what it requires to get your Michigan Teaching License. That would entail university courses rather than community college courses. There is also a translation service I can refer you to, but that would be sporadic. If you have interpreting abilities that are medical, you would want to find out about hooking up with the hospitals here who might need that.

I don't know what your husband did for work before, but he can always find temp work. It might not be what he likes, but it is money. He can find something, there is no doubt.

Make sure you bring all your college and teaching transcripts as well as some birth certificates translated.

Edited July 5, 2016 by Golden Gate

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

Might be better to not live too close to the in laws. Just saying.

[Bzegurl 41]

Hey Marianne

I am sorry to hear you are scared but like many of us we ourselves are afraid of the unknown. Even those who may think they have it together may run into some surprises.

Honey my husband came back from Afghanistan 3 years ago. We were unable to file papers because be was not employed. He is still not employed where he would like to be with all the degree he has, but we refuse to keep our lives on hold any longer.

You have to give it to God remember when you were freaking out about the visa I asked you to pray. Well I'm asking you to pray about it once again. God will provide, he will not let you down. Please believe that all will be well.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

As for your in law's they only want the best for you your family. I don't think they mean any harm. Keep the faith and all will be well.

[NikLR 13,227]

So your husband doesnt work, and youre expected as a new immigrant to support everyone?

Sounds fair... not. Why cant your husband work?

[EmilyW 1,434]

Marrienne, the option is to stay in Greece which YOU KNOW is not an option. You can't afford your husband's medication and you know the future is bleak.

Right up until the time I got on the plane, I second guessed if we were doing the right thing. Once the plane took off, I made a pact with myself that I was going to give this a good shot. To make the most of the opportunity.

Look back on what you have done over the last few months. You hustled. You chased. You fought. And you won. Man, don't underestimate what you are capable of. Quite frankly, I'd be afraid to come up against someone like you who is tenacious and driven.

Edited July 6, 2016 by EmilyW

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Sponsors are my in laws.

I used to speak French and Italian but haven't used them in 20 years!

I have also worked as a translator ans interpreter.

I have several computer certifications including but not limited to Web Design and Photoshop.

I also do freelance professional photography (mostly weddings, kids and pregnancy photos).

I am a kindergarten teacher but most often than not I get preschool.

I am also qualified (in Greece at least ) to teach English and I have 19 years experience from children to adults.

I do have skills just not a super strong degree at least according to American standards.

We are moving to Grand Rapids.

I don't know why my husband would be so hard to employ. His.mother keeps saying that.

You should have had that conversation with your husband a very long time ago.

He has not worked in 15 years ?

You are supposed to support your 3 little kids and him all by yourself being a new immigrant ?

I don't get it.

I would be more concerned of why he doesn't work than what his mother says.

[Golden Gate 530]

I haven't been following your other posts, but apparently your husband is ill? Does this stop him from working?

[Merrytooth 5,748]

From OP's various topics, her USC spouse is a home maker (does not work since the ex-wife makes enough money living overseas together).

While living in Greece with OP for 3 years, he is not working either, with his parents sending them money regularly.

So I could see how he has been "out of touch" with the working world for 15 years outside USA.

Also OP's in-laws put their necks out to sign the I-864 for her and kids to immigrate, so their anxiety to see OP working ASAP is understandable. But they should not put the burden/pressure on her as new immigrant to support the family.

OP and her Spouse should have a game plan before arriving in US.

Money is one of the biggest sources of marital discord.

[subwayguy 100]

Hey VJers,

I am 2 weeks away from flying out to the US and I very ambivalent about it.

The reason is my mother in law has been pushy to a great degree about me getting a job there to feed my family.

They have been amazing and I do mean AMAZING in helping us out but I am afraid I will let them down if I don't get a super job right away.

Nobody understands my feelings. They are all starry eyed about the US thinking gold flows in the streets. They have no idea at what a bottom level an Immigrant starts from. I have a teaching degreet which I come to find out might not meet the American standards so I might not be able to teach. (I don't mind being an aide though )

I am suddenly very scared of being in a foreign country with 3 small kids and no job. My husband hasn't worked in 15 years and his parents keep telling me how this is really bad in the US and how this makes him hard to employ and how I must be the one to tackle this issue.

I can't even drive in th US. Even my driver's licence is useless!

Nobody understands here!! All they see is the pretty house waiting for us. They don't realize that said "pretty house" has bills and taxes and maintenance etc.

There is no such thing as a freebie!!

I am terrified of failing there and having nowhere to go.

My husband and I have a strong marriage but I fear this might put a strain on our relationship.

Please wish me luck in finding a job!! We are going to a "good" area with 4% unemployment rate.

Share your stories with me please especially if you were scared too!!

I suggest, you travel to Ellis Island, where millions of new wave immigrants arrived America with nothing but a valise, yet, they've made it and some.

But don't set your expectations high , America is just another country.