Rantxit

[SAT 9,609]

The gold medallist, Virginia, is from west Virginia. I mean, it makes sense right? Hillbillies can shoot...

She's gotta be the most famous person from west Virginia, ever!

Now how the were we to win this medal if we banned guns here? Huh?

Hey I should start an Olympic thread with my near-truth commentaries

Edited August 6, 2016 by SAT

[SAT 9,609]

Ah speaking of hillbillies, we haven't seen Stretch...

[SAT 9,609]

Congrats to Virginia, and West Virginia...

No Texan ever won an Olympic gold. Because "sweating" is not an Olympic sport.

Poland never won a medal in bicycling. Because they kept riding their bikes backwards...

[SAT 9,609]

Go USA!

http://sports.yahoo.com/news/usa-wins-first-medal-of-the-olympics-in-shooting-event-141957293.html

Now, look at her rifle....that has gotta be the most expensive BB gun in history of mankind....

Now this is proof that we can kick China's azz in a war...

[SAT 9,609]

The United States just destroyed Canada in women's fiddy meter butterfly. I mean annihilated! Embarrassed! Like not even close man. The Canadian broad finished like a cow-length behind.

This is proof that the ox-like strength of the Canadian broad, is no match for chicken hormone-fed American chicks...

[SAT 9,609]

And the chinawoman, she should just pack it in and go back to the rice paddies...

Go become a fook or something...

Maybe her knockoff "Udder Armour" bathing suit was too tight or something...

[SAT 9,609]

Look what I found...

http://www.wayfair.com/Nesco-Jerky-Express-Food-Dehydrator-and-Beef-Jerky-Kit-FD-28JX-NSO1026.html

[SAT 9,609]

If "corn-canoe racing" was an Olympic sport, Tark might be a medallist...

[SAT 9,609]

And, if US wants to win the bicycle race, they shoulda recruited a Fook from a Chinese take out...

Those fooks pedal all day long a 100 lb bike loaded with Fook goo gai pan...

[NikLR 13,227]

The United States just destroyed Canada in women's fiddy meter butterfly. I mean annihilated! Embarrassed! Like not even close man. The Canadian broad finished like a cow-length behind.

This is proof that the ox-like strength of the Canadian broad, is no match for chicken hormone-fed American chicks...

You know that unlike in some countries, Canadian athletes aren't just athletes right? They hold regular jobs and train on the side. In the USA, and other countries like China or Russia, all they do is train. Obviously this depends on the sport and the individual person, but i can imagine it would be hard to have to be a full time member of society not just an athlete.

[SAT 9,609]

Train schmain...excuses excuses....

Well, that's true for China. But US athletes don't get paid either. If they train full time, it's because of family or private sponsorship.

There was just a story, a NY McDonald's guy is going to the Olympics.

Edited August 6, 2016 by SAT

[SAT 9,609]

Look...

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/05/sports/olympics/runner-boris-berian-goes-from-mcdonalds-employee-to-a-symbol-of-athletes-rights.html?_r=0

Michelle Kwan had a similar story...

[SAT 9,609]

If "looking stupid" was an Olympic sport, we'd have a second gold medal by now, won by Tark...

[NikLR 13,227]

He wasn't STILL flipping burgers tho. He was endorsed by Nike, then New Balance and went to a training facility full time. He flipped burgers for 5 months! He stopped Nov 2014!

[SAT 9,609]

Well he got sponsored. Canadians get sponsored...

If "jerky smoking" or "moon shining" was an Olympic sport, stretch would be married to an Olympic athlete...