Nervous about in-laws

[amkhan 108]

I get this me and my wife disagrees with politics. we just agree to disagree thank goodness election is only every 4 years. wife from bible belt area and registared Republican while i lean more democractic. she just laughes bc i cant vote for a few years. however this is one aspect of our relationship i would recommend getting family support if she gets cut off from family she could down the road end up hating you just a nice fyi

[staffnurse 0]

I won't tell you how to deal with your wifes' family because not everyone is as "stand your ground" as I am, however, as someone that

has dealt with racism in America everyday of my life, I can tell you....get used to seeing and hearing it.

Many people here like to pretend things are "better" but racism, bigotry, and homophobic is alive and kickin in this country and barely even

hidden anymore. I don't know much about how things are where your from, but if it's not something you see often there, you will be surprised

when you come here especially if you develop friendships with people of color or people that are gay.

I've lived in a variety of states and some places aren't as bad as others, but it's everywhere. The best thing you can do is stay respectful

and level headed. Don't expect or even try to change people (family or otherwise). No place is perfect and neither are people.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck.

[IguanaCouple 26]

You need to respect people's opinions. Mexicans aren't a race and Trump is just one guy. I highly doubt all you're gonna talk about with your in-laws is Trump and Mexicans.

In any case, the issue at hand isn't about Mexicans as much as about illegal immigrants who drive down wages for everyone else and form 60% of the gangs in the U.S when they're only 16% of the population.

Give yourself a break and try not to be the 'illiberal' that you are coming out as right now. At the end of the day people have a right to their opinions and religions. Catholics, Muslims everyone.

You need to learn to respect people's opinions before judging them with your 'illiberal' attitude.

Edited June 25, 2016 by TBoneTX
to remove judgmental comment

[TBoneTX 45,305]

A post has been edited to remove a judgmental comment, another post has been removed for being off-topic, and a third post has been removed for treading upon this provision of the VisaJourney Terms of Service:

"Post Content intended to degrade, intimidate, or incite violence or prejudicial action against a broad demographic or group of people identified by a unifying trait or characteristic (discrimination)."

This is not the thread or the forum for political debates. Confine comments to the OP's situation and questions.

TBoneTX

VJ Moderation

Edited June 25, 2016 by TBoneTX

[depressedgirl 3]

I think a lot of you hit the nail on the head - I am from a culture where if someone says something racist etc we speak out and it's seen as a sort of enabling and bad taste not to speak out. I'll have to be careful about that in America because of the different culture.

As for appearing liberal and being friends with gay people we are a lesbian married couple so that's unavoidable. Thanks everyone for advice, I think we'll stay in Connecticut but if things get too much will consider moving and maybe until then just limit visits!

[QueenComley 295]

I totally get it. I moved from England to Mississippi and Im still blown away by the level of hate and rasiscm here, its something I never get used to. People have different beliefs and views depending on where they were raised and how they were raised, its hard to covert someone's opinion and belief when they have grown up in that environment and know nothing else. Once my step-kids are out of school and living independently we want out of this state.

[NikLR 13,227]

I totally get it. I moved from England to Mississippi and Im still blown away by the level of hate and rasiscm here, its something I never get used to. People have different beliefs and views depending on where they were raised and how they were raised, its hard to covert someone's opinion and belief when they have grown up in that environment and know nothing else. Once my step-kids are out of school and living independently we want out of this state.

You totally hit the nail on the head here. They grow up thinking it's normal to say things and act a certain way, and it's just not acceptable anywhere else. But the issue is they don't understand that and to tell them otherwise is YOU infringing on THEIR rights, meanwhile they're actually participating in hate speech.

[2ndMessiah 184]

Whilst they're all polite to my face, my wife's family is very catholic, trump supporters and I personally find them a little racist, a little homophobic and a lot of their comments I find aren't what'd be acceptable at home in England.

Welcome to 21st Century America......

Don't be a shrinking violet. express your views, politely off course. The only way to change bigotry is to confront it. Get it out in the light and dealt with. You are probably not going to change them but you might be able to get them modify their behavior around any future grand children.

Good look.