k1 denied under 221(g) - no relationship with you and petitioner, advise please!

[Jafifa1978 3]

baron555,if you would have read my post properly, like i said, we did met in person once, doesnt matter if he waited for 3 years to meet me or not, he did, the topic was posted over here to ask for some humble advise and not to question why he did this or why he didnt do that. Everyone's relationship has their own stories, which i believe none of our rights to question them.

I am thankful for everyone's else advise, the point is we are trying to make it work,thats all.

[Jafifa1978 3]

and yes we do have a very compelling reason, not everyone is in a very comfortable enough to travel right away, i am thankful for your advise on what could be the reasons we got denied in the first place, but i dont appreciate for you to judge us by saying such thing that we are not serious about our relationship. everyone sail in their own boat, making judgemental statement like that is not really appreciated. I came here to ask for an advise what to do and what not to do, not to be judged by being told that we're not serious about our relationship.

[Unidentified 2,930]

baron555,if you would have read my post properly, like i said, we did met in person once, doesnt matter if he waited for 3 years to meet me or not, he did, the topic was posted over here to ask for some humble advise and not to question why he did this or why he didnt do that. Everyone's relationship has their own stories, which i believe none of our rights to question them.

I am thankful for everyone's else advise, the point is we are trying to make it work,thats all.

and yes we do have a very compelling reason, not everyone is in a very comfortable enough to travel right away, i am thankful for your advise on what could be the reasons we got denied in the first place, but i dont appreciate for you to judge us by saying such thing that we are not serious about our relationship. everyone sail in their own boat, making judgemental statement like that is not really appreciated. I came here to ask for an advise what to do and what not to do, not to be judged by being told that we're not serious about our relationship.

I'm pretty sure Baron didn't mean that he personally feels that way about your relationship, I think he means that is how the interviewer is going to think. It took you guys 3 years to meet and you have only met once. Sure only meeting once is the requirement to be approved by USCIS, but that does not guarantee an approval from the embassy.

Do a search here on the forum and you will see plenty of couples, even within the last few days that have been denied because the embassy felt they are not a bona fide couple. You have a few red flags including only meeting 1 time in 3 years and sending engagement ring before even meeting etc.

We don't mean to be "judgmental" we just want you to realize how your relationship is going to be scrutinized at the interview.

[Jafifa1978 3]

Maria&Steve, i do understand what you mean i appreciate it, but for someone to quote "not serious about your relationship" is just some statement that is not helping. I totally got what you mean from the point of interviewer and thats why i came here in the first place. to find out what was the red flag and almost all the opinions that i got from everyone else previously is the same answer and i am totally agree with everyone else on our red flags. It might not be personal, but it surely sound negative.thats all.

but again, thank you for everyone's opinions and the rest of the good ideas and helps that you been giving me so far. My fiance is coming down again and is spending more time with us and we're not going to give up on this. we will make it happen, thank you guys!

[Unidentified 2,930]

Maria&Steve, i do understand what you mean i appreciate it, but for someone to quote "not serious about your relationship" is just some statement that is not helping. I totally got what you mean from the point of interviewer and thats why i came here in the first place. to find out what was the red flag and almost all the opinions that i got from everyone else previously is the same answer and i am totally agree with everyone else on our red flags. It might not be personal, but it surely sound negative.thats all.

but again, thank you for everyone's opinions and the rest of the good ideas and helps that you been giving me so far. My fiance is coming down again and is spending more time with us and we're not going to give up on this. we will make it happen, thank you guys!

One very important thing I've learned since joining here in 2014 is that if you want polite answers VJ is the wrong place to be. People are blunt and some are downright rude. But between that there's some pretty good advice.

[baron555 934]

and yes we do have a very compelling reason, not everyone is in a very comfortable enough to travel right away, i am thankful for your advise on what could be the reasons we got denied in the first place, but i dont appreciate for you to judge us by saying such thing that we are not serious about our relationship. everyone sail in their own boat, making judgemental statement like that is not really appreciated. I came here to ask for an advise what to do and what not to do, not to be judged by being told that we're not serious about our relationship.

Sri to offend you; that wasn't my intent.......but.......if your ultimate goal is to get together, become married and stay together, somewhere, then all your actions prior to that should give compelling evidence that is your intent.

Again, it is a big cardinal sin to send someone money that you haven't met in person. Lots of scams with that. The CO may just be trying to defend the petitioner.

And agreeing to become married to someone without every meeting them in person is just not the norm.

Did you guys front load the petition? Did you include evidences on why you didn't meet in person earlier in the relationship? Waiting three years to meet in person is a long time.

Your relationship just doesn't fit the normal model and the CO couldn't be convinced that it could be legitimate.

So you need to work on that. I don't doubt your sincerity and love but that does not factor at all in this. Only the facts.

[JFH 12,190]

The more we read about this story here the more empathetic we can become to your situation but the more we can also see why the CO may have refused.

When anyone starts a thread saying "why was my visa refused?" it's impossible to know. We can start to guess and speculate as to the reasons as more things come out.

What I gave seen gradually come out on this thread (and I'm guessing the CO came to the same conclusions) is that you say he didn't feel comfortable flying all that way to see you until after 3 years. On the face of it, it could be understandable. He may have been badly hurt in a long-distance relationship before. But that conflicts with sending you money and a ring and asking you to marry him before you met. So he's afraid to fly to meet you but sends a ring and asks you to marry him? It certainly doesn't seem like its money that's stopping him from visiting again if a trip to Japan (3 air tickets, hotel accommodations, food, transportation, visas, etc) is being discussed. I'll bet for the cost of the trip to Japan he could afford to take a month unpaid from work and spend that time with you. Why not?

[baron555 934]

i do believe the red flag is because 1 week is not enough

Yes

and because he was married twice.

No

The other red flags are that he sent you money and sent ring and asked you to marry him without ever meeting you in person. That is just not normal. Yes, in some countries, sending money is OK but in most it is not. Check with your regional forum to info regarding your specific Embassy. His reluctance to fly long distances is not a good reason to not visit with you. And yes you can meet in another country.

Nothing was asked about religion or age different or anything like that before i get denied under 221 (g).

Not the reason.

Our next step is to get him down here to spend at least another week or 2,

Or more.

and then perhaps get another appointment but this time he will come with me to the embassy.

Probably won't happen, but not harm in trying.

From the evidence's that you say you sent with the petition, they are all good for the meeting in person requirement but say nothing about the relationship.

How do you communicate? What do you talk about? Hopefully serious relationship stuff (plus some lovey dovey stuff since two people intending to marry do that).

Yes to make a timeline of your relationship. Most follow a normal evolution, getting to know you, then more serious talk, then (the norm) talk and planning on the meeting in person, then talk of marriage, then talk of the visa process , then talk of moving to the US, then talk of planning for the new life in the US (especially the upbringing of the child). You should have evidences of all of these phases. Content is key, not quantity.

If you communicate in such a means that you have no written proof of these discussions, then stop that and use something that allows saving of the content. A combination of all mediums is best. Emails, letters, Skype video snapshots, etc.

And whatever pch1 saying is pretty much make sense as well, because to be honest, i dont want him to have to convert down here just because he wants to marry me because religion is not an issue in the first place.

Religion was not a factor.

I read some of the feedback too that the evidences that was gathered need to be presented in a proper manner with cover page

That is best. A short 1-3 page narrative of the evolution of your relationship, outlining the steps mentioned above and then referencing accompanying evidences to support each step helps.

and also a letter of statement from both of us saying that we intend to get married after 90 days of arrival in USA. which we dont have it in the first place,

You were supposed to have those for the interview. Read the Guides.

but they did made me sign a statement of it when i went for the interview the other day.

OK, if that is how your Embassy does that.

[Unlockable 7,314]

OP,

For the most part noone here is intentionally trying to insult you. But you have to understand that most of the posters on here are posting from the point of view of an immigration officer. You may have the most loving relationship in the world, but if that loving relationship is not presented clearly and convincely during an interview with a complete stranger, then it could lead to doubt. And doubt could lead to a denial.

[baron555 934]

Try not to judge people without knowing all the facts!

I only know what the OP has told us.

And obviously, your circumstances were very different than what we know of the OP's. Did you front load your petition with your circumstances?

And in the many years here in VJ, I can only recall a handful where the couple did not try to meet in person within a timely period after first meeting....except for those couple who knew each other beforehand.

And what about sending money to someone you have never met in person? Know about that scam? I our part of the world it is a big no-no and big red flag that the petitioner is being scammed.

So tone it down; I've offered detailed guidance to this couple as to what they could choose to do in the future if they decide to.