The Final Edition of The Three Word Story #1

Marilyn. · January 28, 2006

In the beginning was the word and the word (contrary to opinion) was a big yellow tomato with big green spots. The people hungered because they hated to think that the smell of the tomato was like a leopard with smelly fur without its spots and missing its delicious cup cakes full of cream.

People were wondering who ate them and decided to get out his notebook and write all the names of his former lovers, beginning with his first love to the present. The first lover was a mess, which is ironic because the cupcakes were so pretty with green bubbles. His truest love only by experiencing the real truth would finally see. It was a shame that she had no feet!

Luckily the second was fully, complete legs and all, with stockings on and a sexy big toothless grin but the hairy chest she had meant that he had epi-lady near by for emergencies!

Then, quite inexplicably, he yelled out, "someone call 911", and fell over trying to dial using only his big roman nose which was quite nice looking but not that cute but he did manage to dial the wrong numbers which naturally caused him to freak and he thought he wanted cupcakes with some ketchup.

After eating he was feeling sick because he ate too many cookies with many nuts giving him very bad gas pains causing him to fart explosively until his underwear rotted and that was so embarrassing because I never felt such pleasure before 2006 came in. Never having released such a lot of fireworks before.

Because of you I feel funny right down in my little car although I am as high as cat in heat on a tin of tuna fish.

"What bottle, Officer?"

"You know what!" He said threateningly as he put his large wobbly finger in the very tight little ring of fire which had burned for 14 days right on his nice clean pink and quite sore from the bumps that appeared on the tip of his stubby fingers when he gripped onto his old and slightly sticky little pogo stick. It needed a good washin' for it was slippery and very smelly when is wet.

I think he meant to take a pee before he cleaned his under pants for the gnomes had taken over his laundry detail and you will work the stains out on red carpet.

Golly gosh said, "stop with the innuendo and start spanking the monkey"

Yet another game brought about by poor nutrition and a high brought on by doing things with his big dooda that he could tie in knots during business hours!

When he realized that he was in deep sh!t he tried to extricate himself but something happened to his Snuffleupagus so he caressed it making it weep lotsa leopard spots all over his fuzzy little green tutu that matched with his hat, leaning against his clean pogo stick, he licked dry as a nun's priest's tale bibliography of ancient times.

This guy is just a little bizarre, in fact the whole world tends to be most comfortable in their own pj's but not Jed, he liked wearing a bathing suit made from wool comfortable to wear but smelled of dirty rotten stinky, pishy old women.

When exposed to the sunlight it would react with his large developed and slightly tarnished pissy underwear that was fashionable in a beautiful colour black and purple and puke yellow lime green pacer flared underpants, yum!

He said to a passing stranger, "where did you get that smell like rotten garlic, mouldy and damp?"

"Well, I found it in the bargain section of Walmart, beside the frozen fish section. I will stop examining my own amazingly huge crotch."

Everyone laughed at her like before until she bit a large squash blooms profusely but she swallowed it. Coughing frantically she near gagged on the large object that came out of her husband's large and bumpy and strange smelling pants pocket that was full of glass marbles for the next game.

The large steaming cup of coffee helped it to become aroused and ready for a really top class roll in the Bitta slapn' tickle. Then, amazingly, she says it's all without opening her circular shaped mouth to place her alibi at the root of the problem, which was destroyed by the large balled beast called, Norman. Then he reached into his large bag and pulled out an extremely smelly big pickle with his dirty hands. So he ate everything but the only thing he could get in his pants was the pickle juice.

"OMFG" he exclaimed! "I have found the answer to the secret of the missing turtle.”

The Turtle was deviant in his plans to invade the water bed. He had always lusted after the water bed but could not figure how to get through the hole because he had created this thread. So instead he was a really ornery fellow who thought he was the original Snuffalufagus! He was so ticked off that he screamed something plus a giant cupcake was sitting nearby.

"Get me another dose of drugs,” said the clap infected turtle. But nobody heard through the screams of the cupcake in darkest night!

Meanwhile back at the 'chicken ranch' the nuns were playing with their habits and licking their mouths, as crumbs fell from the paying customer who was grateful for his visit there at the ranch with the prozzies.

The turtle was slow to react to the situation and slipped on a sexy pair of purple socks that stinked terrible of rotting flesh and cinnamon. While the party raged and the nuns danced the cha-cha, the cupcakes were melting hotly and busy creaming themselves. So the turtle slowly moved across the stage towards a scary looking pickle that was covered in cupcake icing. As he licked it fearfully the pickle just sat there silently watching the turtle pull a rabbit out of his backpack.

Then the rabbit said, "What’s up little turtle?" He laughed when he saw that his rabbit tail had fallen off because of cooties.

"Cooties??" said the Pickle, "I thought those were the biggest set of jugs I have ever tugged on. I got happy."

The turtle was feeling like he was full of cupcakes and cried, "Damn, I am made of rassleberry dressing." Which was senseless.

Then he decided to wake up and try to make sense of everything but he just couldn't afford thinking time to get married despite his affliction.

Then his intended bride suddenly eloped with a savage rattlesnake. The turtle picked at some food rotting on the sidewalk beside her not noticing the USPS delivery van out of control, barreling down towards a frozen cupcake blocking its path! Poor little cupcake!!

The headlines read, "Cupcake that was frosted dies in crash!"

Meanwhile back at the blue barn things were starting to heat up between the snufalufagus and the little old lady from the Antwerp region who had big brother housemates, even though she wasn't that old.

But the old girl, naked in the sun porch, just had her hair styled mohican-like with extra aquanet for solidity. Soon as she pulled herself out of the shitter, she gagged at the smell of the putrid pickle that was popping his head out of his butthole and trying to reach enlightenment. When he noticed something strange. He began feeling a little dizzy and rather confused because the smell was awfully bad. He thought it was odd that the cupcake was still hanging out on the platform dancing with the cookiemonster who was wearing pink socks.

Then Snuffalufagus called the turtle a ninja turtle lore. The turtle smacked that ###### in the nose and was startled by her own shadow. Needless to say she started running and tripped over a slimy, large, green and brown paper bag that blew across the stage while the importance of paying was obvious. The truth is now she would start looking for a man with big ears because she liked to pull on them when disaster struck and the big purple ears became stretchy and sticky and fell off. The detached ears were turning different directions and became very agitated when the Q-tip was coming near. They tried to run but stopped when it became entangled around a piece of straggly hairs.

"Ouch!!" said the Rabbit. “Someone help me. I am going to be a daddy."

The Rabbit was lying there alone, watching the ears struggling to be free. He was worried about the IRS taking all his stockpiled rabbit savings that he had in the bank. So the rabbit had an accountant fix his books to cover up the tax fraud he had committed so he wouldn't go to jail and leave his sweetheart behind as she was ready for marriage and trying to settle all affairs before he felt sick and it became very obvious that was the end.

Meanwhile the platypuses discovered fire and gave up on eating raw unclean foods causes indigestion. Stupid as he felt he still was certain about the fact that he could not make fire with Oreos and milk because they were not combustible. So he looked for the pasta because he desired Italian chow and he loved pizza as well. He decided to run away to a deserted gas station where several albino dwarves lived. They were all living in the same old manky shoebox, which smelled like peaches that had rotted. The Dwarves felt sick and puked all over each other, which made the platypus suffocate.

“Oh well”, everyone cried and danced while the little frog sitting - well, actually, hopped - across the bedroom floor. He hopped onto the bed, then the door opened, he jumped so high that he knocked himself out.

The rabbit saw the platypus on the chair near the fire. He thought he saw a ghost in the cupboard draw a picture of the long lost cupcake that never got cooked. It was very strange experience that morning as no-one had seen the cupcake because it exploded after drinking his glass of milk.

To be brief, you would have put that cupcake in your mouth but the turtle ate it anyways. Out of frustration he thought he must eat it or take the punishment.

They planned to run away and procreate like mad but they couldn't because he couldn't lose weight. So they decided to join a gym where he would have to learn tips and tricks on losing fat. But before they could work out they had to buy some new slippers and underwear because they grew on trees and they were afraid that the neighbors might call the Ghostbusters.

The cupcake in the socks had to pull as far as he could so finally he did the only natural thing he could think of, he called his mother. She yelled and suddenly spinned till she was dizzy and drowsy while knitting furiously and noisily, and never made three dwarves happier.

They were all mentally challenged and it was hard to make a really good match of the smelly little creatures. They were pooping all day long, and the whole place smelled really bad. Finally the little buggers, stopped pooping and tried to take their Pepto but kept on having terrible pains. They called a vet because they felt really sick and smelled like eggs and mudbutt. The vet tried a shot of a new medicine, which made them turn into the Bee Gees, which scared the vet to find another way.

Meanwhile the dwarves were looking at a new record. They wanted to start their own fight club with bows and arrows and rubber chickens and sing falsetto. They moonlighted as security guards for McDonalds and got sick of coughing and blowing cocaine up their sinuses and eardrums. So the old man in the rusty hat with bells on it to frighten away the evil vet. Can this be the reason for their behavior problem? The dwarves began scratching their lower bellies with a sharp branding iron until golden-brown and crispy spots, started to appear on their backsides. Oh they hurt so much and really itched.

He will think twice before scratching his belly ring, he knew it was riddled with lice, biting and burrowing into the folds of his tiny #######. Ashamed, he started tweaking his pimpies and moaning like he hadn't had any dwarf-fun for decades since the “dwarf tossing into the toilet incident” when he was drunk. He then decided to wait until two.

"Dong! Dong!” sounded the clock.

"Cuckoo, cuckoo!" said the little bird.

"Oh bollocks!" said the furry little dwarf, "I wanted to invite you for a Bee Gees song night!"

Shaking their bootie's the others danced while the music played and started stripping, singing 'stayin alive' very rapidly, as the others watched. A Shrieking BeeGee hit a high note and almost killed one as he farted. The whole room was going crazy with the smell.

Meanwhile the turtle, who hated BeeGees, began to moan about chest hair on his mate, which was thick and really smelled. Grabbing a razor and his balls in one hand, he spread his cheeks with the other hand while he began his task. This involved stroking his big monkey. What experience does one need to stroke their monkeys, good and long?

He was a hallucinogenic drug, making no sense whatsoever despite the fact his tattoo said, “aussiewench loves me”. So give it a good try, see if you find my brain. If you do, mark it 'fragile', lost in space. No one knew that this news would change everything, from mass media.

After a long brain operation he was finally able to tie his tie without using his thick and rather smelly finger he dug boogers out with but he was once again able to use the hand his doctor used to fix the problem.

Meanwhile the lone doctor of his 2nd cousin's aunty, who had big knuckles, couldn’t figure out how to get them out or sideways for someone to help them in the ritual practice of knuckle sucking. They then played tiddlywinks instead and were enjoying every minute until disaster struck and she saw a man walking with a stiff drink in his hand.

The man took a sip of his drink, slowly looked over the strange group sitting around the game of Tiddlywinks, the pickle, the turtle, Snuffolufagus, the cupcake and the others and said in a very soft and quiet voice, “This is the end.”