How to get free of all of this

[TBoneTX 45,394]

OP, he/she who files first for divorce essentially controls the game. You have an additional advantage in that you're more familiar with the system than she probably is. Find the meanest, nastiest divorce attorney in your city and proceed sooner, versus later.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

But just because she cheats does not make her a bad mom....i know its bad shes done this but you are both adults and have a child. No matter your personal dislike of her have you thought about your child not having his mom around if you have her removed?

Mom is only one. The situation is bad but you'll need lots of proof to have her parental right terminated or removed.

It sad people use americans to get here but shes here and you have a child....now what?

[Unlockable 7,314]

Holy #######.

Cheating is already bad but adding an STD which could jeapordize the health of another person makes it downright despicable.

TBone is right, be on the offense. Forget the annulment and start calling some divorce lawyers, pronto! She has already taken action with the DV charge. You need to be 3 steps ahead of her. You said you wanted a divorce, custody, and other things but have you filed anything yet? What good is a plan if you don't take action.

And in regards to wanting the government be responsible to prevent things like that, it is nnot going to happen. The government is not a macthmaker or relationship advisor. It was you who vouched for her when you provided all that evidence of a loving relationship during the K1 process. You're gonna have to take the blame for not getting to know her better.

Good luck to you. I hope you and your child come out better than where you are now.

[fmirandam 7]

People here give horrible advices. First of all, how can you make sure that this guy is telling the truth. Maybe he abused her, maybe not, or maybe he thinks that treating on sending her back without her child is not an abuse.

She is the mom! Stop this revenge! Think of your child first, not you. Stop being selfish and get over it!! You do not own her, she is free to do what she wants!! You should have thought about it before getting married to someone you don't know and before making a baby together.

Edited June 23, 2016 by TBoneTX
to remove scatological term

[Unidentified 2,930]

People here give horrible advices. First of all, how can you make sure that this guy is telling the truth. Maybe he abused her, maybe not, or maybe he thinks that treating on sending her back without her child is not an abuse.

She is the mom! Stop this revenge! Think of your child first, not you. Stop being selfish and get over it!! You do not own her, she is free to do what she wants!! You should have thought about it before getting married to someone you don't know and before making a baby together.

Agree 100% and the sad thing is that advise would be different if the poster was a woman. Then no one would even bat an eye about the cheating and the STD.

OP get tested and divorce. Make sure you use protection and really get to know your future partner before kids and marriage.

Edited June 23, 2016 by TBoneTX
to remove scatological term from quote

[B_J 2,752]

People here give horrible advices. First of all, how can you make sure that this guy is telling the truth. Maybe he abused her, maybe not, or maybe he thinks that treating on sending her back without her child is not an abuse.

She is the mom! Stop this revenge! Think of your child first, not you. Stop being selfish and get over it!! You do not own her, she is free to do what she wants!! You should have thought about it before getting married to someone you don't know and before making a baby together.

Let's start with your question, "how can you make sure that this guy is telling the truth?" Well, I don't think any of us can do that; unless we're going to hunt him down and learn his history. So, most just read the question and answer it the best they can. It seems to work better for the purpose of this site rather than assuming every guy is lying.

Second, I don't understand what horrible advice you are talking about. The most common recommendation has been for him to just divorce and move on; and not worry about the immigration issue. Isn't that what you would recommend?

Lastly, you said that he should have thought about this before getting married to someone he didn't know. Again, we don't know his history and we have no idea how long he knew his wife before getting married. So, here's what most of us will do....rather than judge him and assume that he didn't meet our predetermined length of time to get to know the person, we'll just answer his question.

He should divorce and move on.

Edited June 23, 2016 by TBoneTX
to remove scatological term from quote

[Bluey 2]

Forget the annulment get the divorce straighten out. For the time being, move out of the house or get her out of the house, so you don't get accuse of DV. If you don't file AOS and don't provide any financial paper work, she can't get GC by herself.

Also, does she have a job? If not, she might be able to file GC through extreme hardship condition.

[almost_umrican 54]

This k1 situation is a mess. She is 28 years old, from Brazil and we are now living in the USA and have a kid together. She clearly just wants her papers. It seems like what I hear is the only thing to do is to get a divorce and move on; however; if this is "common" there has to be a stronger recourse.... (she has now gotten an STD (from someone else) which I would think is grounds for annulment even though we've been married for more than 6 months).

any suggestions other than "divorce and move on"????

Sorry, no specific advice other than what you already know.it is like you paid for a genuine bottle of cologne on a street in china/paris or whatever and been duped for a fake one.there is no one you can approach and eventually have to move on.very bad for what happened but again human being is like that. hope all your troubles be little ones in the coming future.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Also, does she have a job? If not, she might be able to file GC through extreme hardship condition.

How? Any official USCIS link?

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

VAWA is her only route. The fact that she filed DV charges against you points towards her already working on that. Even if she filed/files now for VAWA, you will not know the outcome of her case, if she gets a GC, etc.

Frankly it seems like a lousy marriage to me. Cheating does not equal immigration fraud.

I agree with the above posters, make sure that you are not living together anymore and find a good divorce lawyer. Focus on your child, not on how to exact revenge on your child's mother.

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

Forget the annulment get the divorce straighten out. For the time being, move out of the house or get her out of the house, so you don't get accuse of DV. If you don't file AOS and don't provide any financial paper work, she can't get GC by herself.

Also, does she have a job? If not, she might be able to file GC through extreme hardship condition.

Extreme hardship waiver is for ROC, OP's wife does not have a GC yet.

[Beth & Achraf 328]

File for custody of your son, divorce her, get copy of her medical chart from clinic or doctor who diagnosed the SVD and get yourself checked too...

Get out, move on , raise your son, and be happy.

[Meant2B 8]

Divorce, fight for full custody of your child and move on. Karma will come back if she used you. Focus on making your sons life better. Good luck.

[Unidentified 2,930]

File for custody of your son, divorce her, get copy of her medical chart from clinic or doctor who diagnosed the SVD and get yourself checked too...

Get out, move on , raise your son, and be happy.

He has no right to get her medical records. They're private and only she can requesr to get them.

[NikLR 13,227]

Divorce, fight for full custody of your child and move on. Karma will come back if she used you. Focus on making your sons life better. Good luck.

I agree.

Divorce.

AOS if you want her in your son's life. Do not AOS if you dont. If you do not, move out and stay out of contact with her without a lawyer present. Even in regards to your son. Do not give her more VAWA fodder.

Gain custody either way.

Immigration wise she can VAWA or leave.. or stay illegally.