Age difference

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

The immigration paperwork was for them to being wives and children to the US. They had been married for 25 years. Didn't have to prove relationship only marriage certificate and birth records. The others were all married long times also. Never done any for someone wanting to marry. Thank you for the information. Will Ghana give him a vistors visa to come visit here?

Relationships always have to be proven and a marriage certificate is not enough, not sure what you are talking about,

no matter how long they were married.

The chances of him getting a visitor visa is 99% a no go. Instead of throwing money away for a B2 application, save and go to

Ghana and marry if he is still the 'one' after living with him for an extended time. You are rushing this, it is way too soon after a few

months. Get to know, really know this guy. Follow your heart but take your brain with you ! Feelings are just feelings and reality

can hit you hard if you aren't careful. If someone shows you who they are believe them, that includes being dishonest and lying

from day one. People don't just change over night because you are so special, they want papers and tell you everything you

want to hear and promise to give you the stars from the sky.

If you get fancy love letters, enter a few sentences in google, chances are they already have been used up by scammers.

I don't know you or him and do not want to judge but give you a little warning to be very careful due to what transpired

with his profile. Do not send any money if he requests it. If he resists skyping and answering the phone kick him to the curb.

Hope you find what you are looking for.

[CAPRICEJAH 19]

Relationships always have to be proven and a marriage certificate is not enough, not sure what you are talking about,

no matter how long they were married.

The chances of him getting a visitor visa is 99% a no go. Instead of throwing money away for a B2 application, save and go to

Ghana and marry if he is still the 'one' after living with him for an extended time. You are rushing this, it is way too soon after a few

months. Get to know, really know this guy. Follow your heart but take your brain with you ! Feelings are just feelings and reality

can hit you hard if you aren't careful. If someone shows you who they are believe them, that includes being dishonest and lying

from day one. People don't just change over night because you are so special, they want papers and tell you everything you

want to hear and promise to give you the stars from the sky.

If you get fancy love letters, enter a few sentences in google, chances are they already have been used up by scammers.

I don't know you or him and do not want to judge but give you a little warning to be very careful due to what transpired

with his profile. Do not send any money if he requests it. If he resists skyping and answering the phone kick him to the curb.

Hope you find what you are looking for.

I agree 100%. You only known this guy for a couple of months and not sure if you have visit him, but make plans to do so. Live with him a couple of months....experience his lifestyle. Get to know him better. Personally I could not live where my husband is from, but maybe you can. Please listen to the advise you are giving....it beat having to get a attorney and trying to get out of situation/mess you will be getting yourself into. Letters, phone calls, Skype, and a short visit will not reveal the real person you want to commit yourself to for a lifetime.

[Gretch 11]

Oh, Shelinny... he has already been dishonest with you from the first moment, when he met you using a fake profile. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Yes, there are real relationships coming out of every country including Ghana, but this one has ALL the red flags. As others have said, including the one who started this thread, it is extremely rare for a man from sub-Saharan Africa not to want children. I lived there for a year and never once met such a man. I was uniformly greeted with something like pity because I don't have children yet, from both men and women, and was urged to do so. While the cultures are not the same in every country and ethnic group, that seems to be a constant. The purpose of marriage is to have children; in fact the purpose of LIFE is to have children, and provide for them. I'm not kidding, there are even many Catholic priests who have semi-secret families.

It's one thing if a man already has some children and says he doesn't want more from his new wife, but I would even greet that with suspicion.

If a man was known to be infertile, he might have trouble finding a wife in his own community and THAT man might be interested in a bona fide marriage with a woman who couldn't have children either. (It would be rare to know this unless the man had had some kind of severe accident or disease that caused obvious damage.) That's a rare exception I can think of.

People sometimes ask me if my husband had wanted to come to the US before we met. I tell them, I would consider it a red flag if he'd told me he never wanted to and was only willing to move to be with me. I think the majority of the younger generation has at least considered it, and in my experience, think they would want to immigrate to the US--at least on some level. It's also a lot of pressure to put on a relationship, for one person to change continents and cultures and leave their entire family behind for the sake of one person. I'm happy that my husband is also looking forward to career and educational opportunities here, in addition to continuing our life together and starting our family.

I wish you the best of luck in life but hope that you will seriously rethink this. The process is so expensive and that's just the fees you pay at various steps--nothing compared to the difficulties that can come up if someone comes to the US for fraudulent purposes.

[CAPRICEJAH 19]

Oh, Shelinny... he has already been dishonest with you from the first moment, when he met you using a fake profile. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Yes, there are real relationships coming out of every country including Ghana, but this one has ALL the red flags. As others have said, including the one who started this thread, it is extremely rare for a man from sub-Saharan Africa not to want children. I lived there for a year and never once met such a man. I was uniformly greeted with something like pity because I don't have children yet, from both men and women, and was urged to do so. While the cultures are not the same in every country and ethnic group, that seems to be a constant. The purpose of marriage is to have children; in fact the purpose of LIFE is to have children, and provide for them. I'm not kidding, there are even many Catholic priests who have semi-secret families.

It's one thing if a man already has some children and says he doesn't want more from his new wife, but I would even greet that with suspicion.

If a man was known to be infertile, he might have trouble finding a wife in his own community and THAT man might be interested in a bona fide marriage with a woman who couldn't have children either. (It would be rare to know this unless the man had had some kind of severe accident or disease that caused obvious damage.) That's a rare exception I can think of.

People sometimes ask me if my husband had wanted to come to the US before we met. I tell them, I would consider it a red flag if he'd told me he never wanted to and was only willing to move to be with me. I think the majority of the younger generation has at least considered it, and in my experience, think they would want to immigrate to the US--at least on some level. It's also a lot of pressure to put on a relationship, for one person to change continents and cultures and leave their entire family behind for the sake of one person. I'm happy that my husband is also looking forward to career and educational opportunities here, in addition to continuing our life together and starting our family.

I wish you the best of luck in life but hope that you will seriously rethink this. The process is so expensive and that's just the fees you pay at various steps--nothing compared to the difficulties that can come up if someone comes to the US for fraudulent purposes.

Shelinny this is so true.....When they say they never wanted nor thought about the U.S. and only coming because of you.....run don't walk away. Also remember that not everyone will tell you what they are dealing with. I just hope that you continue to stay on VJ and know that we share our testimony to help you and others.

[MrsBonsu 138]

As with starting this thread, get to know this man and pay attention I chatted online with my husband for a year before we decided to marry because I was coming there and I didn't wanna have sex without being married that is where I was at in my life, you have to find your stage and what you want in it, a majority of African men want children my husband wants at least one and we will work on that once he's here I didn't wanna be apart from him while pregnant so I'm waiting, so I would seriously sit and think about the relationship you have now and what it would be if he came here, I sat with a piece of paper and wrote the good on one side and the bad on the other and that help me decide what I wanted, as always good luck in journey ?

[MeAlone 161]

Shelinny this is so true.....When they say they never wanted nor thought about the U.S. and only coming because of you.....run don't walk away. Also remember that not everyone will tell you what they are dealing with. I just hope that you continue to stay on VJ and know that we share our testimony to help you and others.

Shelinny, if you feel you need to, go and meet him. In person you can see more real, in person it's different, maybe you love him much more and maybe in person you won't even like him.

If there is love in real life, you will have time to learn about each other, give you both some time, I traveled 3 times not deciding to get in a love relationship, and even after that I was trying to learn about him, to understand him. Different culture, background, age, country and even different continent is not easy to understand the real person specially if everybody around is telling you Ghana, Nigeria men are cheater and scammers, so many people try to persuade you to stop. Use your heart and use your brain, at the beginning is confusing, then you can tell who is who. Give yourself a chance to meet. I wouldn't chat for long, better don't let sweet chat make you blind, go and meet in person, then decide.

Tasha

[MeAlone 161]

by the way, we have 30 years difference too, it was not easy to accept it for both of us, we did try to stay apart because of the age, it didn't work, we both too much in love, and he has a little daughter which is a blessing because I know how important is for his culture to have his own kids

Tasha