Age difference

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

I believe you will be fine, if you look on travelstate.gov and compare numbers with African countries verses your side (I forgot the name your category yours is under) the numbers are very high for k1 and cr1/ir1 visa's, good luck ☺️

I hope i cant move to dr small kids i have a house in Dr but living there not an option... Not now at least . Im ready to marry if need be...ill be there for the inteeview

[LoveinGhana! 55]

Totally agree with this one! .... We have a big age different (18 years) nothing that bothers us at all and we have no issues in our relationship with that.

Find it a funny thing to judge others for that. A relationsship with big age different can be just as good as someone with the same age.

I totally agree with you!!

[strongmyk 51]

Taking my post to be rude and none understanding isn't the reason I posted it, it was posted because the embassy in question deny people daily for what I take as silly, people have posted some pretty silly reason for denials for this embassy and this embassy does question what I posted, yes some couples are fine without having kids yes I know there are plenty of options venues for people who are pass their child bearing years, but this embassy didn't get the dubbed a high fraud embassy for no reason, there are plenty avenues for fraud from this embassy I just posted a topic on one

I honestly did not find anything wrong with your post

[Monalisa22 84]

I'm noticing quite a few post about big age differences, if you put yourself in the shoes of the consular they are asking themselves if your spouse is much older than the person they are petitioning for and the person has no children that is gonna be a big red flag for this embassy, in my opinion it looks scam worthy which in return makes it harder for those that are not! My husband has no kids so I told him I would have one for him, so one has to wonder if you come to the US and your wife can't have kids because they are pass child bearing years what will you? Go out and sleep around and get someone else pregnant who isn't your wife? But the issue doesn't stop there the person petitioning should also know this which begs the question of why would you put yourself in this kind of situation? These are just my thoughts on post with that question of age difference, anyone feels free to enlighten me?

Sista I agree. But i'm 9 years older than my husband. We have a 2 year old together so I'm not understanding why they feel we have a sham marriage. But I agree that age difference is huge when consulars are reviewing petitions. They are looking at culture and customs as well. Most African men do at some point want a child. If the man doesn't have the child and the woman is past her child bearing years it's going to be a problem.

[Monalisa22 84]

Exactly! It's just an ignorant point of view. It's akin to those that think getting pregnant will somehow speed up their petition because it makes them look 'legit' despite not having proof that the spouse is the biological father. OR the fact that children don't define a bonafide relationship.

Don't be offended but what she stated is true. That's how the consulars are looking at it. They are also taking into consideration culture and customs. Our spouses are African. Having children is big in the African culture. Most African men want children.

[Caykay1 71]

This is the avenue I was going down, Ghanian culture is the point of my topic, and what the embassy seems to go by, such as instructing people not to show consular pics with the couple in celebration looking like they have married which they would consider to be knocking rituals, the other point is people don't also discuss a topic about children in there future, they come here and ask will the big age difference be ok

You can never win on public forums like this. I am a Ghanaian and I understand you perfectly, yes kids are very vital in our culture unless someway someway nature decides otherwise. I believe children in a relationship in important to discuss about and that bring age difference topic too. But for people from western countries, they're not going to get what you mean.

[MrsBonsu 138]

You can never win on public forums like this. I am a Ghanaian and I understand you perfectly, yes kids are very vital in our culture unless someway someway nature decides otherwise. I believe children in a relationship in important to discuss about and that bring age difference topic too. But for people from western countries, they're not going to get what you mean.

Thank you, my post wasn't to criticize anyone, just to look through another persons eyes when I see post about some age differences and if the African man will want children, yes if you have money and can go the surrogate route that's awesome but we all know everyone can't afford this option, so what is one to do when your fiancee or husband is here and he see's things and are around kids from family members and decides he wants kids that you can't give him, I don't know many Africans that are big on adopting, so unless the couple has really talked about these thinks and made decisions before petitioning for that man it's not gonna just be ok come interview time unless you explain what you and your fiancee or wife have decided and good evidence for this embassy to back that up

[dwheels76 5,468]

This is the avenue I was going down, Ghanian culture is the point of my topic, and what the embassy seems to go by, such as instructing people not to show consular pics with the couple in celebration looking like they have married which they would consider to be knocking rituals, the other point is people don't also discuss a topic about children in there future, they come here and ask will the big age difference be ok

Okay first let me apologize . After rereading your post I get your angle through the eyes of the CO. As you see age is a very touchy subject and your points are well taken.

I am 26 years older than my husband. But I am one of those rare women who still wants children. Maybe adoption or IF or surrogacy(the rich and famous do it why not us) but my husband will have a child.

But let me tell you know personally and talk to over 30 women who are 20 Plus years older than their husbands from Nigeria, Ghana, Cameroon, Togo, Gambia, Senegal and age never was an issue.

However for the majority of us we overcame red flags with much face time. I spent 7 months of our first year with my husband was their for the interview just got back No issues. My daughter is older than my husband. No mention. I have 5 grandkids. Most of the ladies I know older are grand,as. some older than their husbands mother. No issue.

I truly believe it has much to do with evidence and the likeability (yes I believe this) of the couple. Do they look compatible. Do they look good together.

Gosh if having a baby is the barometer of denial or approvals I know some 20 and 30 somethings in trouble.

[Maria1989 403]

Okay first let me apologize . After rereading your post I get your angle through the eyes of the CO. As you see age is a very touchy subject and your points are well taken.

I am 26 years older than my husband. But I am one of those rare women who still wants children. Maybe adoption or IF or surrogacy(the rich and famous do it why not us) but my husband will have a child.

But let me tell you know personally and talk to over 30 women who are 20 Plus years older than their husbands from Nigeria, Ghana, Cameroon, Togo, Gambia, Senegal and age never was an issue.

However for the majority of us we overcame red flags with much face time. I spent 7 months of our first year with my husband was their for the interview just got back No issues. My daughter is older than my husband. No mention. I have 5 grandkids. Most of the ladies I know older are grand,as. some older than their husbands mother. No issue.

I truly believe it has much to do with evidence and the likeability (yes I believe this) of the couple. Do they look compatible. Do they look good together.

Gosh if having a baby is the barometer of denial or approvals I know some 20 and 30 somethings in trouble.

I just starting reading this topic today and I was truly surprised that people were offended by this post. Why??? It's posted in the Regional Section for Africa and this is typically a fact for this region. I am 11 years older my fiancé who is from The Gambia. That is definitely one of the issues that we have had a lot of discussion about. Truly a large age difference is a huge red flag, especially when you are older than the man's parents and past child bearing years. That is a major issue in their culture and to pretend that it is not, is for a better lack of words foolish. And I'm not trying to offend. I agree with OP, that is a fact for this region. Maybe it wasn't worded softly, but it is still true. To be honest if I was not able to have children, as my fiancé does not have any, I definitely would have reconsidered my marriage and probably not even get married. He is 27 and he wants children, it's a part of their culture, a major part. I wouldn't want to cheat him of that opportunity. And again, not meant to offend anyone but with African men, at least the vast majority of them, and every single one that I have personally met this is not only a cultural norm but for most a requirement. I'm sure there are exceptions, but I haven't seen them. And then again, you must think some of these men will do and/or say anything to get to the land of opportunity. But we need to face reality for what it is, and this is why certain African countries are labeled as High Fraud, because it happens a lot in this area, so much so that they are on high alert for these very Red Flags the OP suggested.

[CAPRICEJAH 19]

I am just reading this and have to say that I am 15 years older than my mate. We had no problems with our interview. Before marriage we discuss how I have three teenagers, and they have a 5 year old. We both agreed to not wanting more children.....then my mate arrived here. My advise is to take your time to know your mate. I thought I knew them. We talked about supporting and bring the daughter. We never discuss supporting the entire family. Dad(retiring) Mom(not working), 26 years old brother, 28 years old sister. My mate had other plans. Join the military(quickest way to citizenship) divorce me and join the dating site before the divorce is finally. Was there problems in the marriage. Yes, but to forgive my mate for cheating and find out they have a different religion. That's too much. We married on a K1 visa. On my mate match.com profile I see how little I knew about them. They want someone younger, they would like to have more children. Bottom line is age is just a number, but sometimes a denial from the CO may be your blessing. More time to know who/what you are getting yourself into. side note. My mate is so ready to divorce to bring the sibling here.

[MrsBonsu 138]

I am just reading this and have to say that I am 15 years older than my mate. We had no problems with our interview. Before marriage we discuss how I have three teenagers, and they have a 5 year old. We both agreed to not wanting more children.....then my mate arrived here. My advise is to take your time to know your mate. I thought I knew them. We talked about supporting and bring the daughter. We never discuss supporting the entire family. Dad(retiring) Mom(not working), 26 years old brother, 28 years old sister. My mate had other plans. Join the military(quickest way to citizenship) divorce me and join the dating site before the divorce is finally. Was there problems in the marriage. Yes, but to forgive my mate for cheating and find out they have a different religion. That's too much. We married on a K1 visa. On my mate match.com profile I see how little I knew about them. They want someone younger, they would like to have more children. Bottom line is age is just a number, but sometimes a denial from the CO may be your blessing. More time to know who/what you are getting yourself into. side note. My mate is so ready to divorce to bring the sibling here.

Are you sure that sibling he's so eager to bring isn't his girlfriend or wife?

[CAPRICEJAH 19]

Are you sure that sibling he's so eager to bring isn't his girlfriend or wife?

Let's see. Change of address, blocked from all social media, two phones, all the friends I met is now not speaking, block from our visa journey profile. Changed our location from Ghana to France profile, quick divorce from the internet.

Religion went from Christian to Muslin......No, I wouldn't be surprise by anything

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Lying about their religion happens more often than you think and of course the end goal was telling what you wanted to hear

for a green card. Ditto with having kids. How long were you married ? Sorry you are going through this mess, yes it is crucial

to get to know someone slowly and spend a lot of time with them and observe behavior, usually a pattern will show itself that

flashes red flags in neon lights but some people want the relationship so bad that they ignore the signs that were there.

Just recently I read a post about someone whose wife wants to divorce him after one month due to different religions

and I am scratching my head how something like this can happen unless the foreign spouse lied too for a green card.

Again, sorry this happened, he sounds like he scammed you from day one.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

I am just reading this and have to say that I am 15 years older than my mate. We had no problems with our interview. Before marriage we discuss how I have three teenagers, and they have a 5 year old. We both agreed to not wanting more children.....then my mate arrived here. My advise is to take your time to know your mate. I thought I knew them. We talked about supporting and bring the daughter. We never discuss supporting the entire family. Dad(retiring) Mom(not working), 26 years old brother, 28 years old sister. My mate had other plans. Join the military(quickest way to citizenship) divorce me and join the dating site before the divorce is finally. Was there problems in the marriage. Yes, but to forgive my mate for cheating and find out they have a different religion. That's too much. We married on a K1 visa. On my mate match.com profile I see how little I knew about them. They want someone younger, they would like to have more children. Bottom line is age is just a number, but sometimes a denial from the CO may be your blessing. More time to know who/what you are getting yourself into. side note. My mate is so ready to divorce to bring the sibling here.

people are really ????

Karma is certain I hope you have front row seat....

Edited June 28, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[CAPRICEJAH 19]

Lying about their religion happens more often than you think and of course the end goal was telling what you wanted to hear

for a green card. Ditto with having kids. How long were you married ? Sorry you are going through this mess, yes it is crucial

to get to know someone slowly and spend a lot of time with them and observe behavior, usually a pattern will show itself that

flashes red flags in neon lights but some people want the relationship so bad that they ignore the signs that were there.

Just recently I read a post about someone whose wife wants to divorce him after one month due to different religions

and I am scratching my head how something like this can happen unless the foreign spouse lied too for a green card.

Again, sorry this happened, he sounds like he scammed you from day one.