Age difference

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

I had a friend who was dating an African man and they were bf/gf. He was already here on another visa, she did not

petition him. He asked her to marry him but he wanted kids and he asked her if she would allow him to father children outside of the marriage

and she said hell no. She wasn't able to have anymore kids. Did he love her ? Probably yes in a broad sense but his desire for kids
was stronger.

It happens ! Some people come here for the visa and dump an older woman / man for the green card and then move on to

younger women/men to have children. This guy was upfront about his plans, many aren't. People like this do exist and the embassy

knows it. I still believe that the age gap shouldn't be a fraud indicator and cultural customs need to be put in perspective

and not used as a 100% yard stick for every single human being and every couple.

[Ischnura 285]

Questioning the legitimacy of a relationship because there's an enormous age difference isn't the same as accusing people with no children of sleeping around to reproduce.

Any one with such an age gap and a genuine relationship/marriage isn't going to just throw in the towel without putting up a fight - at least I'd like to think not - nor would they only have one 5 minute visit and a wedding under their belt for evidence. Which is why I think we see as many posts popping up asking what the odds are, how it might look at interview etc.

Genuine relationships should talk about kids, finances, jobs, homes, sex, romance, intimacy, inlaws, travel, vacations, hobbies, morality, etc... theres a huge range obviously. A genuine relationship should not have these issues prior to immigration.

I agree wholeheartedly with this. If you haven't spent enough time partnered together to have broached these topics even mildly then you probably need to get to know one another better. There's definitely 'preparing for interview' and 'scripting your answers so they get what they want'. I'd like to think the CO would be able to tell the difference.

[Ischnura 285]

Doesn't sound like a fun situation to be on the receiving end of Ebunoluwa. Certainly anything is possible with immigration though I feel the OP could have worded her original post a bit less like it was attacking couples with age differences and their private business of children. Not everyone has left that decision to the last minute, nor does everyone have an agenda to sleep around to solve their age difference.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Doesn't sound like a fun situation to be on the receiving end of Ebunoluwa. Certainly anything is possible with immigration though I feel the OP could have worded her original post a bit less like it was attacking couples with age differences and their private business of children. Not everyone has left that decision to the last minute, nor does everyone have an agenda to sleep around to solve their age difference.

Agreed.

I could go on and on defending myself of 'why I put myself in such a situation' but I chose not to having defend my choices.

If OP had met her husband a few years later she very well may have also put herself in that position past child bearing age.

"That situation" is what it is. It should not be scrutinized when well explored between the couple,

not by CO's, not by anyone......but sadly it is.

A pancake always has 2 sides. I feel like telling people to just leave my pan cake alone, I have looked at all sides and edges.

[QueenComley 295]

Although there is not an age difference, We do not have biological children together. My husband and I have been together over 5 years, been married for over 3 years and I am currently in the ROC process. I am step-mom to a step-son (11) and a step-daughter (13). Im 38, my husband is 40. I feel happy with the family unit we have and think of my step-children as my own. We will not be having biological children together. It doesn't make our relationship any less legitimate. I remember when I went for my AOS interview, the officer interviewing me and my husband asked if either of us had any children and requested their names ages and dates of birth (she already had this info - she was just testing us I guess). My husband explained he had two children and listed off their credentials. She turned to me and asked if I had any children. I replied "Yes. I have 2 step-children with my husband". She smiled and was very happy with the answer. Biology, DNA and making babies together doesn't make a relationship genuine or all the more believable or real. Love does.

Edited June 19, 2016 by QueenComley

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Although there is not an age difference, We do not have biological children together. My husband and I have been together over 5 years, been married for over 3 years and I am currently in the ROC process. I am step-mom to a step-son (11) and a step-daughter (13). Im 38, my husband is 40. I feel happy with the family unit we have and think of my step-children as my own. We will not be having biological children together. It doesn't make our relationship any less legitimate. I remember when I went for my AOS interview, the officer interviewing me and my husband asked if either of us had any children and requested their names ages and dates of birth (she already had this info - she was just testing us I guess). My husband explained he had two children and listed off their credentials. She turned to me and asked if I had any children. I replied "Yes. I have 2 step-children with my husband". She smiled and was very happy with the answer. Biology, DNA and making babies together doesn't make a relationship genuine or all the more believable or real. Love does.

I love that answer

[MrsBonsu 138]

Although there is not an age difference, We do not have biological children together. My husband and I have been together over 5 years, been married for over 3 years and I am currently in the ROC process. I am step-mom to a step-son (11) and a step-daughter (13). Im 38, my husband is 40. I feel happy with the family unit we have and think of my step-children as my own. We will not be having biological children together. It doesn't make our relationship any less legitimate. I remember when I went for my AOS interview, the officer interviewing me and my husband asked if either of us had any children and requested their names ages and dates of birth (she already had this info - she was just testing us I guess). My husband explained he had two children and listed off their credentials. She turned to me and asked if I had any children. I replied "Yes. I have 2 step-children with my husband". She smiled and was very happy with the answer. Biology, DNA and making babies together doesn't make a relationship genuine or all the more believable or real. Love does.

And your point is he has kids which isn't the issue, the issue would if he didn't have any you would discuss what your answer would be for the consular questioning you, that is the reason for my post

[NikLR 13,230]

We also have to note, people, where this thread is posted. It's in the Africa forum and we know that Ghana and Nigeria in particular are difficult consulates, due to high fraud.

[leeannakondor 7]

Thats my cousin right there your hubby. I want u to know age difference is just a number to the Ghane embassy so far as u have compiled as much as evidence to prove your relationship or marriage is not done to surpass the law or in other words fake. I went thru the embassy and the age difference between me and my wife is vast but i made it through one interview and got my visa bcos of the evidence i took. So gather more chats history,phonecall records,skype, whatsapp,etc etc pics,and so on u will be alright.

[MrsBonsu 138]

We also have to note, people, where this thread is posted. It's in the Africa forum and we know that Ghana and Nigeria in particular are difficult consulates, due to high fraud.

Thank you! That is why I posted it

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

EDIT POST

You may have had a red flag valid point but you threw it way with the infidelity.... You need to take into account all scenarios when making those types of statements where your audience has many of these people. (Older woman younger man for example)

Just because you can bare a child and will comply with you womanly duties (per your thoughts) doesn't mean he won't cheat on you too...AND BECAUSE YOU CANT THAT HE WILL....

Infidelity is not because of being able to carry a child or because of your age.... ITS A SELFISH ACT BY A PERSON WHO HAS NO RESPECT FOR A RELATIONSHIP....

[MrsBonsu 138]

EDIT POST

You may have had a red flag valid point but you threw it way with the infidelity.... You need to take into account all scenarios when making those types of statements where your audience has many of these people. (Older woman younger man for example)

Just because you can bare a child and will comply with you womanly duties (per your thoughts) doesn't mean he won't cheat on you too...AND BECAUSE YOU CANT THAT HE WILL....

Infidelity is not because of being able to carry a child or because of your age.... ITS A SELFISH ACT BY A PERSON WHO HAS NO RESPECT FOR A RELATIONSHIP....

Your taking my post the wrong way, when you go through Ghana embassy let me know! They are a HIGH fraud embassy, Why do you think? I posted my opinion about one of the fraud indicators

[3rd 84]

I think if there's a big age gap and one wants children while the other doesn't then they either need to work through it and come to a mutual decision or they shouldn't be together. It's not right to want to go and bear children outside of a relationship, and goes to prove that the relationship was never quite legitimate in the first place. Obviously this is slightly different when both want children but they have to go to a sperm or egg donor and such.

Edited June 19, 2016 by 3rd

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Your taking my post the wrong way, when you go through Ghana embassy let me know! They are a HIGH fraud embassy, Why do you think? I posted my opinion about one of the fraud indicators

No thank god I'm going through DR another fraud embassy lord pray for me I'm 7 years his senior.....

Edited June 19, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[MrsBonsu 138]

No thank god I'm going through DR another fraud embassy lord pray for me I'm 7 years his senior.....

I believe you will be fine, if you look on travelstate.gov and compare numbers with African countries verses your side (I forgot the name your category yours is under) the numbers are very high for k1 and cr1/ir1 visa's, good luck ☺️