Emergency- Bringing Fiancee to the States mid-petition

[Phillabuster 5]

Hey y'all. Although I'm super happy to announce we have filed our petition, there's a big problem. My fiancee and I are both gay and transgender and my fiancee has been getting harassed for three solid months now. Today, she received a death threat and had to break the bank to call a cab home, she was so scared.

She came to me in tears tonight to tell me about it all and I just. I can't stand seeing her suffer. At this point I care very little about if I have to take out a loan to finish off her fees, but I don't want me bringing her out on a visa waiver in September to mess with any potential interviews. (Would we need a different visa, or would the visa waiver we've used for touristy stuff before work?) Or with her chances of being accepted! We definitely don't plan to do anything stupid like elope or disappear. I just want to give her any break I can from what's going on in her city right now while we wait for the NOAs. If it's not safe for her to come out from a legal standpoint, I'm not willing to endanger her chances of coming her permanently, but man I just. REALLY want to give the poor thing a break for a couple weeks.

Does anyone know how long she has to prepare for the interview when the interview date is delivered, or will we have to send off the copy of the petition to the consulate before they give us an interview date? Because if that's the case then I can just mail it off with her towards the end of her trip, no issue!

If we wait the maximum five months it seems to sometimes take, we're looking at getting our NOA2 (the one where they're like "yes, you can come, but let's get you checked out first") in November.

Basically would me bringing her out for a month's vacation from persecution and death threats interfere at all with the process, or would we be okay to work around our visit? (Honestly it'd be nice to give her her ring as well for strength and maybe extra evidence for the second packet we have to send?)

Sorry to repeatedly bother everyone with our problems but we really could use the advice. Because it's so dangerous to be who we are these days, we have to make sure we do this perfectly so she can come over here where she has a car and a big beefy hubby who can growl at people who give her #######. : P Thank you all so, so much, and thank you in advance for this in particular!!

Edited June 15, 2016 by Phillabuster

[4cats 2]

Hi,

First of all, I'm sorry that your fiancee need to pass for all of that.

I don't know if I will be the best person to help you, but, I'll try.

Your fiancee still have a valid tourist visa? If she does, I would advise you to say to her to go to the police and register an occurrence about what she is being suffering, is important that she has some kind of legal proof that she has being harassed (something like police occurrence, affidavits of people that witness what she is going thru, every document that can be used as proof of all this harassment). Is important that every single document are legalized, notarized, and more important that you guys make sure that all documents are valid in the immigration eyes. Maybe would be good to talk to a immigration lawyer and show the documents to him before she come here. Just to make sure that everything is valid and that you can use as proof of your dangerous situation.

If she has a valid tourist visa, If I was in her shoes, I would get in the first airplane and get here in US. When she arrived I would notify the immigration and file a I-130 package and a I-485 to adjust her status.

I'm not sure if I helped you. But, if was me I would do that. Maybe somebody else could help you better than I did.

Praying that everything will be allright with you guys.

Hey y'all. Although I'm super happy to announce we have filed our petition, there's a big problem. My fiancee and I are both gay and transgender and my fiancee has been getting harassed for three solid months now. Today, she received a death threat and had to break the bank to call a cab home, she was so scared.

She came to me in tears tonight to tell me about it all and I just. I can't stand seeing her suffer. At this point I care very little about if I have to take out a loan to finish off her fees, but I don't want me bringing her out on a visa waiver in September to mess with any potential interviews. (Would we need a different visa, or would the visa waiver we've used for touristy stuff before work?) Or with her chances of being accepted! We definitely don't plan to do anything stupid like elope or disappear. I just want to give her any break I can from what's going on in her city right now while we wait for the NOAs. If it's not safe for her to come out from a legal standpoint, I'm not willing to endanger her chances of coming her permanently, but man I just. REALLY want to give the poor thing a break for a couple weeks.

Does anyone know how long she has to prepare for the interview when the interview date is delivered, or will we have to send off the copy of the petition to the consulate before they give us an interview date? Because if that's the case then I can just mail it off with her towards the end of her trip, no issue!

If we wait the maximum five months it seems to sometimes take, we're looking at getting our NOA2 (the one where they're like "yes, you can come, but let's get you checked out first") in November.

Basically would me bringing her out for a month's vacation from persecution and death threats interfere at all with the process, or would we be okay to work around our visit? (Honestly it'd be nice to give her her ring as well for strength and maybe extra evidence for the second packet we have to send?)

Sorry to repeatedly bother everyone with our problems but we really could use the advice. Because it's so dangerous to be who we are these days, we have to make sure we do this perfectly so she can come over here where she has a car and a big beefy hubby who can growl at people who give her #######. : P Thank you all so, so much, and thank you in advance for this in particular!!

[Georgia16 2,858]

Treecats...... What you are suggestion is not legal! ..... They can not do that.

OP she can come on VWP for 90 days and then go back home when it's time for medical and interview. That really all you can do. Maybe she can move to relatives in another city while the process is going on? (Thinking if she can leave for vacation for a month in the US then work won't be an issue anyway)

[4cats 2]

OK. I didn't know was not legal to do what I suggest that was why I said to go and talk to an Immigration Lawyer that could help them better. I was thinking with my Brazilian lawyer mentality. And in Brazil would be perfectly legal to do that once her life is being in dangerous.

So Phillabuster please do not consider my recommendation I don't want to put you guys in any trouble. But, I still think that you need to go to the police department and make sure that they have knowledge about what is happening to her.

Treecats...... What you are suggestion is not legal! ..... They can not do that.

OP she can come on VWP for 90 days and then go back home when it's time for medical and interview. That really all you can do. Maybe she can move to relatives in another city while the process is going on? (Thinking if she can leave for vacation for a month in the US then work won't be an issue anyway)

[Georgia16 2,858]

OK. I didn't know was not legal to do what I suggest that was why I said to go and talk to an Immigration Lawyer that could help them better. I was thinking with my Brazilian lawyer mentality. And in Brazil would be perfectly legal to do that once her life is being in dangerous.

So Phillabuster please do not consider my recommendation I don't want to put you guys in any trouble. But, I still think that you need to go to the police department and make sure that they have knowledge about what is happening to her.

It's illegal to come on a tourist visa with the intention to stay.

[Phillabuster 5]

Thank you for your suggestions! That sounds like a lot more running around she has to do and unfortunately she has no car... that's the problem. Her harassment is on the bus she uses- and there's only one bus line out of her suburb.

I am considering paying to have her tablet repaired so she can have a good way to contact me and friends, use some check-in apps with panic buttons if she's in a bad spot, and you have a point- maybe if she can quietly record what's going on and get a shot of their faces (sometimes they lean in to whisper threats) she can bring it to the police and have their asses arrested if they try anything dumb.

I am also considering getting her a whistle or air horn that she can carry around- do any aussies know if a swiss army knife would be legal to carry, or an air horn? Obviously zero intent to cause trouble at all, a last ditch effort if she's actively being physically attacked. I have zero idea how the Aussie court system works, however. An air horn technically wouldn't do any damage except to ears but she could use it to cause a ruckus! I carried one of these when I was presenting as a woman and they worked beautifully.

The staying with relatives thing is a great idea. Sadly, her parents are in a dangerous neighborhood as well but she has a dear friend in a poly relationship and plenty of couch space she can crash with if she knows she has a bunch of stuff to go to that week- they're right near her Dole assignment, Tursa, and that bus is past the dangerous point for her therapist.

Thank you so much for the concern and suggestions! I am open to literally any ideas from anyone and will carefully weigh options. Again, we have zero intents of endangering her chances of fixing the problem forever. I have a car and zero problem with bringing the thunder if anyone messes with my sweetie from down under. >:c

And at the end of the day, it's nice to know people care. It's nice to know other people think this is ridiculous. I am not a religious man but I am sending out all my positive intentions that everyone gets their visas and adjustments quickly and with no fuss. Here's to all of us trying to get into better situations, and a special shoutout to anyone else trying to help their sweeties or get out of a dangerous sitch themselves. <3

[Phillabuster 5]

It's illegal to come on a tourist visa with the intention to stay.

We have absolutely zero intentions for her to stay on a tourist visa. We are playing the long game and want to do it by the books. I'm just wondering if there's anything we can do in the meantime to give her a break. It sounds like that's not the best idea though (my friend linked me to a discussion about this very topic- sorry to bother everyone with a common question, I am bad at searching sometimes...) so we may just ride it out. Asylum is even harder to claim than K1 I hear and I'd much rather she just marry me right off because that seems way more legally and permanently justifiable in the states.

Our intention is to end up married after all! Too bad I can't get her out here to give her the ring so she at least has a little reminder to carry around with her. I wish I could afford to go out there but even if I took a loan out to do it, I still don't have any way to take enough time off work.

Again, suggestions are still welcome if anyone has any ideas at all, even if it's not related to getting her a vacation in the states pending approval. Thanks guys, it means a lot to have all this support and honest advice.

[4cats 2]

Treecats...... What you are suggestion is not legal! ..... They can not do that.

OP she can come on VWP for 90 days and then go back home when it's time for medical and interview. That really all you can do. Maybe she can move to relatives in another city while the process is going on? (Thinking if she can leave for vacation for a month in the US then work won't be an issue anyway)

Could she go to the US embassy or call them and ask what they recommend her to do? Because is a urgent case where her life is in dangerous? I'm just thinking out loud.

[Georgia16 2,858]

Could she go to the US embassy or call them and ask what they recommend her to do? Because is a urgent case where her life is in dangerous? I'm just thinking out loud.

You are thinking of an expedite but I really do not believe they can get it because of that. Otherwise no. She can move to get away from it may sound hard but immigration is that way.

Luckily K-1 is fast now and not a year wait as when it was at TSC

[4cats 2]

You are thinking of an expedite but I really do not believe they can get it because of that. Otherwise no. She can move to get away from it may sound hard but immigration is that way.

Luckily K-1 is fast now and not a year wait as when it was at TSC

Thank you for your time correcting me. It was never my intention to recommend anything that was against the law or to put someone in trouble. I was just trying to think the best way to guaranty that she is safe.

And definitely asylum is so much more complicated and definitely she will need a lawyers help to do that.

[MacUK 983]

Just a thought but has she been to the Police, or even to the bus company to report this harassment?

Or LGBT support groups who can shame the bus company in to not turning a blind eye?

[Sukie 1,464]

We are an Australian/US couple. Luckily, we have not had any problems in Australia. I'm assuming she is in Queensland or northern NSW if she has a Tursa job, and I'm very surprised she is having trouble. I do not think your partner will get asylum consideration based on being a lesbian in Australia. Australia may not allow same-sex marriage yet, but being gay is not illegal. Australia allowed me, as the USC, to get the equivalent of a Green Card in 2009 - way before the US allowed same-sex immigration.

Your partner should contact : http://www.lgbtilegalservice.org/ in Brisbane to see what her options are. They might be able to counsel her or help her get the bus company to help. If the driver is part of the problem, then that is definitely something that can and should be corrected.

Your partner should seek help from legal services before even THINKING of carrying a knife. She brings that out, and she'll end up in jail, where she will get little sympathy.

Best of luck. Sounds like a nightmare situation.

Sukie in NY

[Phillabuster 5]

Hi all- thankfully, no incidents since posting this. Thank you for all the well wishes. Don't worry, she is not carrying weapons. Instead, I bought her an early anniversary present: an MP3 player to help her block out the hateful comments. It is going well and her therapist is helping. Thank you for the helpful link! I will forward it to her.

I keep telling her to let the driver know if there's a problem, as I used to do back when I took public transport, but she is a quiet wee thing. I'm not sure the outbursts are loud enough for the driver to hear. Also, we don't want them to target her if they are kicked off the bus on her behalf. These are all repeat offenders who know her schedule. It's a rough situation.

However, we do have good news! We recieved our NOA1 this weekend. I am currently preparing the Affidavit of Support and writing up a document with a to-do list for her. It seems to be moving rather quickly and we hope we've caught their slow season.

Hope everyone is well, thank you again for your advice!

[Boiler 45,805]

Move would be the simplest and quickest solution.

I always thought Australia was much more LGBT friendly than say the US.

[MacUK 983]

Move would be the simplest and quickest solution.

I always thought Australia was much more LGBT friendly than say the US.

The country may be, but I'd imagine that individuals differ. Australia does have the image of very rugged manly men so anything going against that image could be a target for the less intelligent of the people.

Much like parts of the US and UK.

I still say involve the police and publicly raise the issue with the bus company on social media. You'd be surprised at the power of facebook/twitter in such cases.

Bus company in Scotland has been in the news after a driver was arrested for telling a gay couple they were barred because they're gay after it went viral on social media.

It works