I have no mother

[chri'stina 190]

Sorry to hear about the cat, I know you must be very sad and what your mom did was not right. But please try to keep in mind that this is your mother, and there is little that I can think of that would justify ruining your relationship with her.

I agree. I'm sure over time you will feel a little less angry at your mother. I'm sorry that she did that without talking to you ahead of time. I am also allergic to cats and really don't like cats very much, so I can relate to how it would be hard for your mother to be around an animal that just makes her feel sick. But still, what she did wasn't right because she could have just found a new home. I hope some time passing will help you feel better. But don't let it ruin the relationship forever. Usually on people's death beds they don't say "I'm glad I stayed mad at you for so long", but instead usually say "I wish I wouldn't have let that come between us for so long." But then it is too late.

[rika60607 215]

I'm sorry to hear about your cat. However, I think it's a little selfish to see your mother suffering from her allergic reaction. She gave you birth, and raised you. You have no idea how much she struggled to raise you. You should be grateful. Don't be mad at your mother.

If you would have read the whole post, you would have seen that she made no effort to give the cat a new home. It would have been very easy to do, she has a lot of family. I'm sorry that she is allergic to cats but it is still not a reason to kill a perfectly healthy cat that has been in the family for so long. I am furious with my mother. She is heartless.

I am very sorry for you loss. Your mother was absolutely wrong not to ask YOU what to do with YOUR cat if your cat was not wanted in the house anymore. May be she was jealous?

Anyhow, that one issue is not enough to break a relationship, however if that kind of behavior seems to be typical of her... yeah, you may be far better off to be motherless... (Just because someone gave birth to you and didn't kill you in a crib, gives them no right to abuse you in any way).

I see killing someones beloved pet as definite ABUSE!

You will feel better in time... I know it's hard to believe right now, but time heals...

Cheers,

Rika

[Mags 112]

Actually, I am going to agree with Fuzzness here. What his mother did was selfish and inconsiderate. There was no need for that cat to be put to sleep, no need at all. Yes, she has allergies...but she thought only of herself in this matter - she did not think about Fuzzness' feelings only her own. She wanted rid of the cat...so she did it. To be honest, the allergies may have been a partial excuse.

I lost my own mother last year so can understand people saying "Oh she's your Mom, give it time" but that doesn't apply to all mothers. Just because she is a mother does not give her a right to walk all over and ignore other peoples' feelings, especially her son's. Yes, she gave birth...so what? Billions of women do it every day. Yes, she brought up Fuzzness...so what? Millions of mothers bring up children every day too. This is life, it doesn't give his mother special circumstances. What IS special is being considerate and giving. Neither seems to apply in this situation. Just my $0.02 worth.

I'm so sorry about the cat Fuzzness.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

That is rough.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

Actually, I am going to agree with Fuzzness here. What his mother did was selfish and inconsiderate. There was no need for that cat to be put to sleep, no need at all. Yes, she has allergies...but she thought only of herself in this matter - she did not think about Fuzzness' feelings only her own. She wanted rid of the cat...so she did it. To be honest, the allergies may have been a partial excuse.

I lost my own mother last year so can understand people saying "Oh she's your Mom, give it time" but that doesn't apply to all mothers. Just because she is a mother does not give her a right to walk all over and ignore other peoples' feelings, especially her son's. Yes, she gave birth...so what? Billions of women do it every day. Yes, she brought up Fuzzness...so what? Millions of mothers bring up children every day too. This is life, it doesn't give his mother special circumstances. What IS special is being considerate and giving. Neither seems to apply in this situation. Just my $0.02 worth.

I'm so sorry about the cat Fuzzness.

Similar to my earlier posts on the thread, but minus the specific examples.

[Savanphil 3]

Dang, Sorry about your cat .

[almaty 19]

sorry fuzzy about your cat...and i agree, your mother had options and chose in her view, the easy one..

.it was not right and you have a right to feel what you are feeling and as an adult, the choice rather to communicate with your mother..or place her on extinction and ignore her

[ivona 0]

You know, just a few months ago when my mum was the only rolemodel I knew I would probably be in the "she's still your mother, don't stay mad at her" camp, BUT now I have met my mother in law

The woman is amazing TO ME, David however she still treats like he was a 15yo with absolutely no ability to take care of himself, completely not respecting him... listening to her you would honestly think this man was barely able to survive before I came along. It annoys me greatly, this disrespectful treatment of her own son especially her complete ignoring of his obivous qualities and abilites but I'm keeping my mouth shut because I think that David should be the one to tell her to stop it instead of just ignoring her like he is doing now....

What Fuzz's mother did is completely lacking in respect, and it is not how you treat your grown children... It was HIS cat... and while I don't think this should be cause for never again talking to her, I think it should be used for telling her exactly what this shows in terms of her treatment of her son...

I'm so sorry for your cat

[Widge 0]

I know how losing a cat can be just the same as losing a child, I also have experience of difficult relationships with my own mother. But for fear of being flamed it does occur to me that you actually left the cat with someone who you knew was badly allergic to cats, she has obviously struggled for almost a year, I don't think this should be the incident that breaks your relationship ............ grieve for the cat be angry with her but no more ........

[ya falaha! 0]

I'm sorry for your loss, Fuzzness

I don't know you or your relationship with your mom but it seems to me that what she did was the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't have a relationship with my mom either. I'm better off for it.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

...I don't have a relationship with my mom either. I'm better off for it.

I wish my BIL would learn that his mum considers herself to have no relationship with him (he actually did an I-130 for her; she promptly went to her younger son's home, without even acknowledging her older son's sponsorship!)

[almaty 19]

...I don't have a relationship with my mom either. I'm better off for it.

I wish my BIL would learn that his mum considers herself to have no relationship with him (he actually did an I-130 for her; she promptly went to her younger son's home, without even acknowledging her older son's sponsorship!)

she sounds like a total ####### brother sriniv..my apolgies for calling her a foul name

[Mary Lou 681]

I'm very sorry about your cat

It's sad your mother chose the option she did, as there were other options to consider. IMO you definitely have every reason to feel the way you do now.

[Fuzzness 2]

I know how losing a cat can be just the same as losing a child, I also have experience of difficult relationships with my own mother. But for fear of being flamed it does occur to me that you actually left the cat with someone who you knew was badly allergic to cats, she has obviously struggled for almost a year, I don't think this should be the incident that breaks your relationship ............ grieve for the cat be angry with her but no more ........

She wasn't allergic to the cat when I left.

[Alex+R 0]

So, she told you, after the fact, that she was allergic to your cat and that she had put the cat down!? Sure, in time you may forgive her, but I would steer clear of that woman for the short-term future. What a horrible, horrible thing for her to do. Anyone who says this was a tiny mistake must be nuts.

Certainly puts into perspective my anger toward my parents for scrapping my CAR when I went overseas and left it with them. Geez.

On a less outraged note, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this loss and feelings of betrayal at the same time. Let yourself grieve the pet and then address your mother.