5 Things My Ex-Husband Could Have Done To Save Our Marriage

[Janelle2002 3,865]

When I lived in the Philippines and my husband and I moved into our own place, my husband was really messy. His family grew up with so many helpers (yayas) to wash his clothes, clean up after him, cook for him, etc. So I ended up having to pick up his clothes on the floor, throw away his garbage he left laying around, etc. I talked to him about how frustrating it is, and I remind him every time to mind his mess because I don't want to just be the one cleaning all the time. It was communication, putting my frustration and annoyance aside and talked to him and he'd do the same for me. In the mornings, afternoon, and evenings he'd have to cook and he got tired - he told me about it and taught me to cook so I can cook when he's to exhausted to from work.

OP, can I ask, did you talk to him about how you felt working and then going home to do all the cleaning and taking care of the kids by yourself? I'm not judging you, just wondering.

Hi FxL and welcome!

I am posting an article I found online, so no, this is not our personal situation. Over here in Current Events and Hot Social Topics we post articles we find articles online and discuss them.

For my personal situation, our kids are big, Marv has two, 16 & 13, they live in Germany and I have two, 15 & 11 and they live with us. Marv and I both work so we have attempted to split things down the middle as much as possible, but there are somethings I just won't let him do, iron his clothes for the week and hang up clothes after they've been washed and clean our bedroom.

The kids clean their own room, bathroom and the kitchen and help me with the living room, Marv washes and dries clothes, I clean the restroom and he does trash. Hehehe

Now, if we decide to bring a little one into the house, he knows to take on a little more responsible. This is our arrangement and I'm grateful he'd compromised because some men are stubborn on gender roles.

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

When I lived in the Philippines and my husband and I moved into our own place, my husband was really messy. His family grew up with so many helpers (yayas) to wash his clothes, clean up after him, cook for him, etc. So I ended up having to pick up his clothes on the floor, throw away his garbage he left laying around, etc. I talked to him about how frustrating it is, and I remind him every time to mind his mess because I don't want to just be the one cleaning all the time. It was communication, putting my frustration and annoyance aside and talked to him and he'd do the same for me. In the mornings, afternoon, and evenings he'd have to cook and he got tired - he told me about it and taught me to cook so I can cook when he's to exhausted to from work.

OP, can I ask, did you talk to him about how you felt working and then going home to do all the cleaning and taking care of the kids by yourself? I'm not judging you, just wondering.

Fxl,

The article my wife posted isn't about us. Just something she wanted to post here and talk about, but since you asked...

We take turns with everything. Since we're both working and have kids in the house, it's a joint effort on both parts. Sometimes she asks if I can get the kids since she's had a hard day and I'm like sure. If I'm tired, she'll let me rest while she cooks and cleans and vice versa for her when she's tired. If one can't do, the other picks up the slack, it's how we handle things.

[Ban Hammer 13,333]

nothing new here - it's the husband's fault.

[Janelle2002 3,865]

nothing new here - it's the husband's fault.

I don't think she is saying that, she is talking about things he could have done to save their marriage, however, it would be interesting to hear about what she could have done.

Were her ideas about how he could have saved their marriage impossible to comply with?

[Jacque67 7,328]

He sounds a bore. She's well out of it. Why waste time thinking what might have been. Kanpai!

[FxL 39]

Fxl,

The article my wife posted isn't about us. Just something she wanted to post here and talk about, but since you asked...

We take turns with everything. Since we're both working and have kids in the house, it's a joint effort on both parts. Sometimes she asks if I can get the kids since she's had a hard day and I'm like sure. If I'm tired, she'll let me rest while she cooks and cleans and vice versa for her when she's tired. If one can't do, the other picks up the slack, it's how we handle things.

Hi FxL and welcome!

I am posting an article I found online, so no, this is not our personal situation. Over here in Current Events and Hot Social Topics we post articles we find articles online and discuss them.

For my personal situation, our kids are big, Marv has two, 16 & 13, they live in Germany and I have two, 15 & 11 and they live with us. Marv and I both work so we have attempted to split things down the middle as much as possible, but there are somethings I just won't let him do, iron his clothes for the week and hang up clothes after they've been washed and clean our bedroom.

The kids clean their own room, bathroom and the kitchen and help me with the living room, Marv washes and dries clothes, I clean the restroom and he does trash. Hehehe

Now, if we decide to bring a little one into the house, he knows to take on a little more responsible. This is our arrangement and I'm grateful he'd compromised because some men are stubborn on gender roles.

OH OK! Sorry about that!

I also won't let my hubby iron clothes, ANYMORE.

Edited June 10, 2016 by FxL

[TBoneTX 45,267]

Thread is moved from the Current Events forum to the Off Topic forum.

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

Thread is moved from the Current Events forum to the Off Topic forum.

Why? It's currently a hot topic, not everything has to be about Trump.

[Janelle2002 3,865]

OH OK! Sorry about that!

I also won't let my hubby iron clothes, ANYMORE.

Hahaha no worries. Women have better fashion sense than men do. I'm sure you don't want him touching your clothes. Washing is a bit of a stretch if you don't want your white clothes turned pink. Lol

[NikLR 13,227]

Everything said about "ex-husband" can be said about the ex-wife. Marriage is a two way street.

I completely agree with Killary on the porn issue too. Communication people! Make your own lives better.

[X Factor 1,112]

Watch this thread die now that it is off topic

[Janelle2002 3,865]

Watch this thread die now that it is off topic

They put it in off topic on purpose. I have pissed off some of the powers to be and they don't like me.

Divorce is a social life issue and is a hot topic because it happens everyday. The U.S. has one of the highest divorce rates. On a website promoting marriages it should be important to discuss what people can do to hold their marriages together.

I'm disappointed in mod and you see no response to my husband.

[NikLR 13,227]

Website is about immigration of which marriages have a part. JMHO

Its easy to divorce in the USA. Driving around OKC there is a roadside sign every intersection promoting $250 divorces. People in America, these days anyhow, want everything now. So in a fit of anger get divorced and it's inexpensive enough to do it. Heck my MIL and FIL were married twice and divorced twice.

Edited June 11, 2016 by NLR

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

Website is about immigration of which marriages have a part. JMHO

Its easy to divorce in the USA. Driving around OKC there is a roadside sign every intersection promoting $250 divorces. People in America, these days anyhow, want everything now. So in a fit of anger get divorced and it's inexpensive enough to do it. Heck my MIL and FIL were married twice and divorced twice.

Marriage and family makes this website possible. Seeing that most people here are here due to marrying someone from overseas.

[NikLR 13,227]

Marriage and family makes this website possible. Seeing that most people here are here due to marrying someone from overseas.

It keeps it alive for sure, but we have a number of tourist, DACA, Diversity, work, etc visa question on here too. But the system to apply for a tourist or work visa is infinitely less complicated on the individual, and takes far less time than a family visa.