Do I have it Made or not?

[B&Z 201]

Why are people jumping on the OP about a larger house and a baby? He said his WIFE wants a bigger house and a baby but he told her they cant afford it, to which she replied shed just go find someone else then.

I agree they need to either figure this out or stop the drama. I think they both like the drama though and he likes to share it. People get off on all the drama I swear.

To be fair, he said they BOTH want to move to a bigger house and have a baby. He should totally put the brakes on that idea until they straighten out their relationship.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

To the OP:

At this point, you have nothing to complain about anymore. You need to put your expectations in check, and you also need to communicate your expectations to your wife, instead of just assuming she's going to fulfill your expectations automatically. Marriage is a give and take and from the outside looking in, it looks like you're being unfair.

She's meeting your physical needs, she's working hard, she's buying $400 worth of groceries every month (and I'm willing to bet that's more than all of your utilities cost, combined), she's taking care of the household chores, and she's trying hard to save up her money to buy herself a car so you won't have to go out of your way to drive her so far to work and back every day...in essence, she's doing you a favor in the long run, and you're complaining that you have to pay the rent and live in a smaller house (how small, who knows).

Look at the drastic changes she's made in the past 6 months compared to how she was in your December post. And now you're whining about her not contributing more to the household finances so that you can get a bigger house and start a family. You have no business starting a family with her right now. You need to settle in, let go of your ridiculous expectations (which it sounds like you just aren't ever going to be totally pleased with her until she morphs into the woman of your dreams). Get real. You're dealing with a human being coming from a different country/culture and who has her own expectations for you and herself, and her own goals. It looks like she's at least trying her best right now to gain some independence as well as to contribute to the household. Just work on being a couple and making THAT work FIRST, before you bring an innocent life in-between the two of you.

If you want to have a baby with her, do you expect her to stay at home with the baby until it's old enough to go to kindergarten? Are you going to complain about her being a housewife and not contributing to the household finances then?

You just sound like a really poor communicator with unrealistic expectations. You're lucky she changed her behavior and attitude at all since December. How about you find things to be grateful for and try to understand why she's doing what she's doing, instead of you finding new things to be unsatisfied with?

This x1000. She's working, paying money towards the household bills and saving up to buy a car! She can't both save up to buy a car and contribute her whole paycheck towards household expenses.

Unrealistic expectations is exactly what it sounds like.

[Ischnura 285]

Sounds like OP needs to invest in a diary out make a blog as appose to airing the dirty laundry on here. The wife actually sounds hard working since December and honestly, I think we'd all be forgiven for getting the lazy bug if someone else threw money at us. After OP's last remark this thread just seems like he's attention seeking and out to brag about how much money he has to throw at the poor girl. Some people are all about the drama. Seriously, get a diary.

[Olivia-GoldenMom 1]

I think you can just tell her how much money you guys need to save for a bigger house. Just to the money talk, calculate it with her, let her know how much money you need to have if you want to buy a bigger house in 3 years. and let her know how much you can contribute. Or you can just tell her, you should start a joint account just for the house purchase, put xx% of your salary in that account, you pay taxes with that account, buy house with that account. I think she will understand.

[Ontarkie 14,234]

~~As the OP doesn't have an actual immigration related question this thread is now closed. Do not start another thread unless you are actually needing help with immigration.~~