K1 or CR1 - looking to stay together as much as possible

[JFH 12,190]

If you stay and get married you will need your birth certificate. Do you have it with you?

That's the least of the worries. Assuming she was born in the UK or a BFPO base it can be obtained online through GRO and takes a couple of weeks.

I'm more concerned at how quickly someone is rushing into marriage so that they can stay. Personally I'd slow down a little. Whilst it is correct that this option is available to people (marry, stay, adjust), it's only the "best" option if the couple is completely ready for marriage and all that it entails.

Edited June 3, 2016 by JFH

[Illiria 980]

I'm more concerned at how quickly someone is rushing into marriage so that they can stay. Personally I'd slow down a little. Whilst it is correct that this option is available to people (marry, stay, adjust), it's only the "best" option if the couple is completely ready for marriage and all that it entails.

This, if you get married and then he decides not to go through or not complete the adjustment of status process and you have overstayed then the overstay isn't forgiven. You would either be staying illegally or would go home with a possible ban depending on how long the overstay is and for sure losing the right to use the visa waiver program.

So before you get too excited sit down with him and have a serious discussion about what the implications to you are if you start down this route only for him to get cold feet later on or if you are denied the green card.

[Limey 551]

That's the least of the worries. Assuming she was born in the UK or a BFPO base it can be obtained online through GRO and takes a couple of weeks.

I'm more concerned at how quickly someone is rushing into marriage so that they can stay. Personally I'd slow down a little. Whilst it is correct that this option is available to people (marry, stay, adjust), it's only the "best" option if the couple is completely ready for marriage and all that it entails.

I think this is good advice. Marriage is a life long commitment. K1 is now a relatively quick process, perhaps 6-7 months (it took about a year at the time we went through it). During that time you can still travel under visa waiver program (see the thread about that on here).

Personally I found that much as the wait for the k1 was frustrating, it gave us plenty of time to think and get to know each other more, and for me to think about what I was giving up by moving, as well as what I'd gain. It also gave me plenty of time to get things tied up in the UK - sell my car, get rid of my apartment, switch my mobile phone to pay as you go, etc etc. You'd be amazed how many little things there are to sort out. It also enabled us to plan a proper wedding, nothing too big, but to have family and friends from the UK present, as well as my wife's family from New York.

Being apart from each other was difficult, we'd be in tears every time I left from a visit knowing it could be months until we'd see each other again. But we still remember how that feels, and almost one year to the day after I arrived here to get married and stay, we still appreciate that we're spending those days together, and how it feels not to be able to do that.

[JFH 12,190]

Very often here we see the "what visa do I need?" question being answered with "marry, stay and adjust" if the foreignor is currently in the USA. It is an option, but not always the best option. In fact, I would think in most cases it isn't the best option, for reasons mentioned above - sorting things out, thinking things through, tying up loose ends at home. It also closes more doors than it opens. If for some reason the marriage doesn't happen, that's it. Overstay is not forgiven and you're looking at a ban. Also, if you went on vacation from your job at home and just never returned, I can't imagine they'd be too pleased to have you back again. So you face returning home jobless. You really are putting all your eggs into one basket with that option and it's not something people should jump into.

It's very easy to get carried away in the throes of a new relationship - especially with someone who lives in a different country - and what might seem like a wonderful idea when you're spending your summer by the pool will feel completely different when reality sinks in with no employment authorisation for many months and bills to pay.

I know someone from another forum who went on an ESTA to stay with a man she'd never seen before (only spoken to on the phone and online). Of course she was full of how wonderful it was and how happy she was. To be honest, I think she was more in love with the idea of living in America than she was with him. They got married a month later and she stayed and started the AOS. One year on, it's no longer the love story of the century. I didn't want to be the one to tell her "I told you so" but...

Edited June 6, 2016 by JFH