AOS June 2016 Filers

[Kim Mertens 54]

Hey Soley, I'm so sorry this happened to you! I have looked around a lot for this since I was always worried I would get an RFE as well. I haven't so far, but what I have learned (someone xlcorrect me if I am wrong) is that 1) for the service requests and expediting and all that, it does restart from 0. So you would have to wait another 75 days before you can expedite again although, what is very very likely, is that you will get approved very soon anyways. 2) the aos and the ead and ap just continue where they left off. They go on hold from the moment they send out the RFE, till the moment they receive your reply. After that they continue. So a good estimate is to count the days from "rfe sent" to "response to rfe received" and add that to visajourneys (or your personal timelines) processing times and estimated adjucation. You will most likely get approved around that time! Sorry if its hard to understand, my "English engine" is down for maintenance right now haha but I would gladly pm you in dutch if it needs clarifying, or whenever my brain switches back on properly I can clarify in English

[Soley 73]

If it makes you feel better, we were told that husband could get financial aid for college, only to find out two days before classes started that immigration places k1 AOS people in limbo... As in they don't exist. The exact wording was immigration is unable to confirm (name) status etc etc etc. talk about feeling discouraged and like you don't matter!! Also, his foreign ID had been denied at the biggest casino in the area for a drink and a gas station. Terrible feeling... It's descrimination of a sort. By to be told by the government that they are in limbo... Says u guys don't exist. I went home in tears that day angry and frustrated that he was treated like that.

Prays for am our adjusters and us petitioners...

Sorry that happened to you guys! And no, it doesn't make me feel better. I certainly hope the situation did or will get better for you!! I know how the frustration feels....

However, apart from the 'system' and how we are kept waiting I have only encountered very nice and friendly people so far.

It's very disheartening to be going through this but think ahead, this is all will be over one day. We have to stay strong to endure all these trying times to be with the people we love. It's tough and makes us feel powerless, unwelcome, dependent, etc. But try and focus on your loved one, this is just one step to a wonderful life together.

I'm sorry I can't give you a solid answer, but I strongly believe the rfie won't impact much in your counting, June filers already seem to be getting some approvals so your might be just around the corner as well.

Best of luck

Thank you. I am very blessed - my husband and I could not have been luckier with finding each other (again) and we are very happy.

And I think all of you out there are in a situation like that too with lots of love!

I wish I could see the rest of my family a bit more though but I'm sure it will work out sometime.

Facing to start the wait all over again was just a bit more than my system could take.

I am a June filer (they received my AOS june 7th) so I keep hoping with you the RFIE won't impact the counting!

Hey Soley, I'm so sorry this happened to you! I have looked around a lot for this since I was always worried I would get an RFE as well. I haven't so far, but what I have learned (someone xlcorrect me if I am wrong) is that 1) for the service requests and expediting and all that, it does restart from 0. So you would have to wait another 75 days before you can expedite again although, what is very very likely, is that you will get approved very soon anyways. 2) the aos and the ead and ap just continue where they left off. They go on hold from the moment they send out the RFE, till the moment they receive your reply. After that they continue. So a good estimate is to count the days from "rfe sent" to "response to rfe received" and add that to visajourneys (or your personal timelines) processing times and estimated adjucation. You will most likely get approved around that time! Sorry if its hard to understand, my "English engine" is down for maintenance right now haha but I would gladly pm you in dutch if it needs clarifying, or whenever my brain switches back on properly I can clarify in English

Thank you Kim, for sharing what you learned. It gives me a lot of hope to read that the aos, ead and ap just continue where they left off. That's what I thought too.

What the agent said just bore my hopes into the ground - you know how to read that even if your "English engine" is down for maintenance right now haha

I'll pm you in Dutch anyway so you can give your brain a rest

[simonschus 58]

I won't discuss process in my post because others are doing that, many with some good points. However, I'll try to offer some solace and try to be a little uplifting whilst recognising how upsetting this can all be. I hope I don't miss the point entirely but it is the thing I think I can add amidst all the other helpful replies:

I understand how the process makes people, including you and definitely including myself, feel unwanted and meaningless and little. One might perceive it as unfair (though others might differ on this perception, which is their prerogative). We can recognise that the people reviewing our cases have no vested interest in our marriage and love, but in the protection of their country's interests. We can recognise that the only advocates we have for our case are ourselves and our friends (though possibly our elected state representatives too and the Ombudsman in some cases too).

The main thing is to not give up hope. We all have things that test us, challenge us on our journeys over there. Some have it worse, some have it easier. We all have one thing in common though, that we want to be here and we are going through the process that was set before us with the view that we could be with the loves of our lives. It sucks so much that we have things getting in the way of continuing with our lives aproper, and that we are simply recognised in a limbo status when actually we are human beings who can contribute wonderfully to society and the lives of others locally, nationally and globally - we aren't simply an Alien Number but we are the person to whom an Alien Number happens to have been assigned, and we have to remember that is the case otherwise we'll start to devalue ourselves. In the long run, and if we stick it out, I have no doubt that this will absolutely all be worth it. We just need to take the time to express our upset, our hurt whilst also take positives and being proud of others when they progress through the process. You are loved, honestly, by the people who really matter... by your spouse, your friends and your family wherever they are.

Emotions are amplifed in these the scenarios we're going through, particularly given the limbo-land and devaluation of our identities that assigning numbers takes. We are adjusting to new (sub)cultures, new norms, new routines, new behaviours. Sometimes we are adjusting slowly, or the adjustment is highlighting differences between what we know from where we were before and where we are now. This can be humbling and can teach you about yourself, your own culture. Equally, this can be alienating and scary, bewildering even particularly if the norms and routines and behaviours come off rude, unnecessary, inefficient, counterproductive. We can regularly be in places where we aren't sure of our surroundings, or where our surroundings make us unsure of ourselves... this is scary and can make us feel lost. We should surround ourselves with comforts from home (e.g. listen to radio from home perhaps through the Internet; casually message friends and family from home perhaps using iMessage, WhatsApp or similar product; buy and prepare foods that you might have in your home country, perhaps from a World Foods store if you have one nearby).

This all isn't helped by money either. Many countries run on money, and this country definitely runs on money (with varying external commentators highlighting that the accumulation of wealth/property is a very strong force here). A lack of money can make us lose our self-worth, and in some cases can actually have a significant impact. There is some support out there in home countries (e.g. bankruptcy, debt advice services and websites). These might help people who are having financial difficulty in their own home countries. Hopefully, this is short-lived and we can have you back on track soon to earning. Perhaps have a look out there for jobs and see what might be worth applying for, prepare the applications and even send them off if (at least then it'd give you an option to expedite based on a Job Offer!). It'll be a constructive, problem/goal-focused approach which a number of health psychologists would advocate compared to emotion-focused approaches that often get people (including myself) focusing on the feeling bad aspect of their lives, and spiraling from time-to-time into a pit of tears. Easily said, I know... but it might be something really useful!

All that I've mentioned is fine but it doesn't help in the situation. You can do this. You've got this. Remember, your spouse is here and you're together. If you can, try to do something fun and clear your mind of it all Personally, I've become obsessive about checking for updates and progress so this is something I've focused on getting out of. Perhaps a trip away, if you can. Perhaps spending more time outside reading or listening. Something, anything that took us away from checking things.

I'll reiterate the things I've put in bold above because they're really important. You are loved. You can do this. You've got this. We've got you too.

Edited August 25, 2016 by simonschus

[chrisete 55]

What a beautiful letter Simonchus.....it has helped me too xo

[Kenia~N~Jeury 20]

Ok everyone cheer up! Let's stay positive.. Our love for our significant others and our lil family( for those of us with kids) will conquer! Let's hang in there and let's keep those happy thought flowing! ????. Just think how wonderful is to be married to the person you love. I am like super in love with my husband and he only has me near him to cheer him up when he is feeling down and discourage... Soooo happy thoughts happy thoughts.. Yay???

[simonschus 58]

Ok everyone cheer up! Let's stay positive.. Our love for our significant others and our lil family( for those of us with kids) will conquer! Let's hang in there and let's keep those happy thought flowing! ????. Just think how wonderful is to be married to the person you love. I am like super in love with my husband and he only has me near him to cheer him up when he is feeling down and discourage... Soooo happy thoughts happy thoughts.. Yay???

+1000

[Soley 73]

Simon, you moved me. You touched with your words. I know they contain so much truth. Thank you for your beautiful letter.

And really, since this news hit me I have been telling myself I need to go to the positive side of everything. My husband had to go somewhere for business and asked me if I'd come with him but I felt I needed to be at home, feel all emotions that need to be felt and deal with it so I can make him dinner tonight when he comes back and be fully there again, in my heart, in who I am. I know not to be swallowed up by emotions but this was the place to vent, to share what is going on. And I'm very thankful for each and everyone of you that is out there and reading my words, giving me words of hope and faith back that I can then put in my heart. I know it's only a matter of time. As you said, Simon, this time is extremely challenging and I have been feeling all of it. As most of us have. You used the words: "Emotions are amplifed in these scenarios we're going through" which is exactly what I have been feeling. And we all need to see the emotions for what they are: emotions. You are so right about all the little things that matter. Reaching out to friends from home, watching movies in your own language etc.

It's a very full time. Filled with love and uncertainty and adjustment and yes, we need all we can think of to support ourselves and be friendly and loving to ourselves in this situation.

As to the financial problems: I don't have any really, we are very lucky. What happened is: I came here on a B-2 visa, not intending to get married yet. But we did anyway and we sent out the AOS. I left my home country thinking we'd be back for the summer; I still have my rental house with all my belongings in it and my car. And I can't go back (yet) to sort it out. The corporation I have been renting from was putting word out to the city that I don't live there anymore. The city then wanted to take me out of the cities register (The European Union requires it's citizens to be present in the country 8 months out of the year in order to be an official citizen) which has many consequences: I will no longer be able to have health insurance there (and we were too late to apply for it here so we'll have to wait until we receive the Green Card). And, more importantly, the corporation I rent from might want me to move. And since I'm not there I can't. So I called the city and said I still live there officially and I am traveling. I am intending to move officially when I receive a Green Card. Told them I'd be back within the 8 months (september 18). I would like to go back to show my face to everyone, talk about my situation and make sure I can continue renting until I can take care of everything, store my stuff or send it over or whatever. Now I might have to do that by telephone. So the threat hanging over my head of losing my belongings if the corporation takes action was the financial reason I asked expedite on. On the USCIS site one of the reasons to apply for expedite is Severe financial loss to company or ​person​; I felt my situation applied to that.

[Mrs U 49]

@simonschus

Simon I take my hat off to you!

This is definitely a tough road to cross, but we have all chosen to walk through it because our motivation is love! I feel so blessed by every hurdle that we pass and focus on small tasks so I don't get overwhelmed.

This forum is for sure vital for many of us and I am so grateful for it and all who participate in it!

As you, so wisely said: "we aren't simply an Alien Number but we are the person to whom an Alien Number happens to have been assigned", and we should never forget that!

@Soley we are here for you! Chin up! This too shall pass

Love and good vibes to all of you!! (L)

[Soley 73]

You are loved. You can do this. You've got this. We've got you too.

This is so beautiful. I am now singing a song with this. I'm a songwriter and I have not written any songs for a while; there is so much going on in my life that I just couldn't find the inspiration or time to sit down with my guitar or piano. These words inspired me. Thank you. You helped me turn around the situation.

[Kim Mertens 54]

Okay stupid question but "days active" or "days pending" before you can send a service request for your ap/ead, does this mean we wait till the 76th day since sending our package, since the received date of my package (on june 21st we received your application yadayadayada) or the notice date? There's 11 days between me sending it and my noa1 date, 7 days between my received date and noa1 date, so i have no clue what to go by, and I want to send an SR the moment I can since my trip to my homecountry for our wedding is scheduled for october 1st. Sooo, do i file 75 days after the sent date, received date or noa1 date?

@soley I'm not home now but I will read and reply to your message later today!

[muccapino 22]

Okay stupid question but "days active" or "days pending" before you can send a service request for your ap/ead, does this mean we wait till the 76th day since sending our package, since the received date of my package (on june 21st we received your application yadayadayada) or the notice date? There's 11 days between me sending it and my noa1 date, 7 days between my received date and noa1 date, so i have no clue what to go by, and I want to send an SR the moment I can since my trip to my homecountry for our wedding is scheduled for october 1st. Sooo, do i file 75 days after the sent date, received date or noa1 date?

@soley I'm not home now but I will read and reply to your message later today!

it is 75 days from the received data on the NOA.

[simonschus 58]

This is so beautiful. I am now singing a song with this. I'm a songwriter and I have not written any songs for a while; there is so much going on in my life that I just couldn't find the inspiration or time to sit down with my guitar or piano. These words inspired me. Thank you. You helped me turn around the situation.

I'm glad we could at least help a tiny bit I know writing my post definitely helped me. And I love that you're a songwriter :)

In addition to everything that others and I have said, we all know that it is difficult to flip a switch and everything to suddenly be okay again! However, that is why we have to remember the things we've all mentioned. Some days there will be up-days, some days there will be down-days. I've said many times "tomorrow is going to be much better". Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. It comes in waves and then goes again. However, we'll get through it We'll trundle on, we'll look back, and we'll be glad that we got through it all because ultimately it'll all be worth it. We just have to remind ourselves that, take a breath, and continue constructively (though I totally understand that this might be extremely difficult in some cases, I'd never want to paint an overly and superficially rosy picture that didn't reflect reality!)

Hopefully, some progress amongst our ranks soon!!!

Edited August 25, 2016 by simonschus

[K and H 7]

Got my combo-card today. Hope all of you guys get your cards soon .I'am waiting to finish my interview the 31st august now also tomorrow i have my driver licence test, hope i pass it.

[littlemissy 3]

Got my combo card today. Just wondering, if any of you knows if I can use my combo card to ask for a name change in my SSN card as my card still bears my single name. And if so, how many days do you think is enough for me to go in SSA office and ask for a name change? Thanks a bunch! Hoping for speedy process for the rest of the group. ♥️♥️♥️

[pinbak 23]

Got my combo-card today. Hope all of you guys get your cards soon .I'am waiting to finish my interview the 31st august now also tomorrow i have my driver licence test, hope i pass it.

Congrats!! and Good luck!

Got my combo card today. Just wondering, if any of you knows if I can use my combo card to ask for a name change in my SSN card as my card still bears my single name. And if so, how many days do you think is enough for me to go in SSA office and ask for a name change? Thanks a bunch! Hoping for speedy process for the rest of the group. ♥️♥️♥️

Congrats, sorry I am unsure how that works, when we filed, we did her new name on the forms. All NOA has come in her new name!