To-ing and Fro-ing Question?

[depressedgirl 3]

Hi everyone!

First time poster long term reader here wondering if you could lend your opinions...

My wife is American and I'm English, we got married in February and after giving up on the UK visas decided we'd be moving to the USA to settle (partly because of my wife's mammoth student debts!). We just received our NOA1 but from reading forum posts I've come to the realisation that my wife and I are going to be apart for a very very long time. I've seen that it's ok to visit the US for shorter trips so long as you take proof of ties to the UK and proof of visa application.

I'm a nurse and my plan was to work temping for say 3 weeks and then visit for 2 weeks with my wife, then return to work for 3 weeks and go back and visit for 2 (as money allows). Do you think that would cause issues? What have you guys done to make the distance more bearable?

Help!

[Transborderwife 4,666]

I'd think that you should be alright as long as your time out is longer than in. You may get a cranky CBP someday that says enough's enough and demand that you wait for the immigrant visa. But being from a low fraud country it shouldn't be that bad.

[Ryan H 3,812]

I'm a nurse and my plan was to work temping for say 3 weeks and then visit for 2 weeks with my wife, then return to work for 3 weeks and go back and visit for 2 (as money allows). Do you think that would cause issues? What have you guys done to make the distance more bearable?

Frequent visits in the manner you are suggesting will earn you extra scrutiny from CBP and could possibly result in them refusing you entry.

[Sukie 1,463]

I'm assuming you are coming to the States under the Visa Waiver Program.

You'd be better off doing 3 months in the UK and then 1 month in the US. CBP can be unpredictable, but they do look at trends in your visits. My spouse was warned - she had 2.5 months in the US, then 2.5 months in Australia, then back to the US. The CBP officer warned her that she was coming too often and staying too long under the Visa Waiver Program, and that she needed to be OUT of the US more than she was IN the US. Scared us both to death.

Every time you come to the US, have your proof of visa application, and proof of ties in the UK. Be ready to say that you understand the rules and want to follow the rules - so that is why you are coming back and forth.

Skype and Facetime are your friends. Try to have a specific time every day that you talk to each other.

Best of luck!

Sukie in NY

[NikLR 13,227]

We visited every 3 months for 10 days at a time and didnt have an issue. I think as suggested 3 months out and a few weeks to a month in should be okay. Too often, every few weeks would cause excess scrutiny.

All of our spare time was spent with skype on. We even slept with it on, and still do when my husband is out of town for work.

[Ischnura 285]

Chin up, the time will fly by. I'm definitely in agreement with the suggestion to stay home for a few months then come over for a couple weeks, maybe a month at a time then rinse and repeat. You'll have more money to enjoy with your trip or to save up for when you're here for good.

I used to use occasions and important dates as marker points to make it seem a bit shorter between visits. And skype yourself silly. It really helps to keep spirits up. And of course, there's always us lot with plenty of positive conversation should you want a natter Feel free to hit up the inbox!! Don't forget yourself though either. Sometimes it helped to get out and go visit friends, family, and keep the phone on for texting. Sitting by the computer waiting will only drive you bonkers in the end.

[depressedgirl 3]

Thanks for your responses guys, it's nice knowing we're not the only ones having these issues!

[IamIan 14]

I'm from the UK too, I have my interview at the embassy in two weeks. Also on a Cr1 visa. The process is long and difficult at times. You are going to be apart for long periods. Fact. But enjoy the time you get together as much as possible. The hardest part is the initial getting the petition approved at uscis as it's a long time of hearing nothing, no updates until it's approved. Once you get your petition approved and it's at NVC then the time flies by as there's always an update and some kind of progress, it feels like it actually moving forward. It's worth the wait buddy. Good luck and feel free to message me if you got any questions.

Edited May 23, 2016 by IamIan