Next step

[David & Diana R 1,005]

The age difference might not matter. The fact that the two of you have only spent 25 hours together is a huge RED FLAG. In my humble opinion your Gary must come back and spend a few weeks or a month with you. How long was his stay and how many other boys did he "meet". It would also be beneficial for him to attend your interview at the embassy with you. Seeing the two of you together and in love can not hurt. The CO is going to wonder why Gary only spent 25 hours with you. I mean really, who visits the Philippines and only has 25 hours to spend with the love of their life. The CO is going to have a real problem with that I believe. You need to really think this out. How many other boys did he visit? Is it possible he was on a sex tour? If he thinks he can bring you here as a fiance I think he is fooling himself and you. I was 55 and my wife (we married in Philippines) was 19 when she interviewed but I was with her at the embassy for the interview and the CO asked me more questions that her. I had also visited her three times and spent 3-4 weeks per visit. Of course, solely with her. But anyway, good luck and GOD BLESS. Aloha from Hawaii

[FxL 39]

This topic boils my blood but I can't stop reading this.

He decides to be with this 68 year old man he just met online to be with him or to get a green card?

Which is the more obvious?

[JFH 12,190]

This reminds me of the discussion that followed the rose and towel story from a few years ago.

Not being on the K-1 path, I am not very familiar with the rules although we did research it before deciding CR-1 was better for our situation. Anyway, is there any requirement to the length of the meeting? The rule is that you have to have met once in the last two years. Personally I wouldn't call spending 25 hours with someone having "spent time with" someone. But it looks like it satisfies the visa requirement. How short a meeting is too short? What if they only spent 10 minutes together?

[Boiler 45,486]

Met as in physically met, not just posted on someone's Facebook page, could be a quick shake of the hands and see you.

[abhi_meli 150]

This reminds me of the discussion that followed the rose and towel story from a few years ago.

Not being on the K-1 path, I am not very familiar with the rules although we did research it before deciding CR-1 was better for our situation. Anyway, is there any requirement to the length of the meeting? The rule is that you have to have met once in the last two years. Personally I wouldn't call spending 25 hours with someone having "spent time with" someone. But it looks like it satisfies the visa requirement. How short a meeting is too short? What if they only spent 10 minutes together?

It satisfies the requirement for approval of their petition.Considering the fact that young guys and girls from Philippines marrying much older USC and later on getting divorce,the CO would wanna see more proof of relationship.

[Kim&Gary 15]

I want to ask, you guys have filed for K-1 visa or some of you to get married with a foreign fiance/fiancee and to be together, right? And to continue the relationship while you wait for the process is you have been communicating to each other over the internet and I do believe that is how you keep your relationship and still be in contact to each other.
Therefore, is it impossible for us to keep on falling in love with each other by talking almost everyday? Whether it be cam or chat. Actually it is literally everyday that we converse.

We've been talking to each other almost everyday since our first contact. I do think that's enough of time to see if we have a strong connection (Not the internet connection, LOL) and after we've met, we strongly believe that we are right for each other and it did not stopped there. When he got back to US we talked to each other more often, more than 6 hours a day and the only time we do not talk to each other is when one goes to sleep.

Sure, we've had our misunderstandings, fights, conflicts, but we are more passionate about our relationship to not let challenges over come us.

You see couples here met through an online dating site or an application for smartphones or IOS. Thus, such medium gave many people an ease to find their true love.

Do you still remember when people write letters to each other? And they would express their feelings to each other even though they haven't met each other yet and only they provide such black and white pictures. Our technology is really great, like right now, we can reach out to people who are going through such situation same as ours and I am posting this then in a snap, you will see it. It's a case to case basis.
For those who do, during your first conversation with them, can you not tell if you are interested and attracted to them? Would you entertain them if you do not feel any interest in knowimg more about them?

The only difference between dating in person and dating online is that, the physical aspect. Surely, some of you went to bars or clubs to look for the hottest gal or lad while some of you might bumped into someone else's shoulder while they were on a train or in a park and felt such spark that they long to feel again and keep it to last.

I don't see the point why some of you question the feeling or love we have for each other. But I understand where you are coming from. I guess, we all have our own differences and we just need to respect each other's choices because at the end of the day, what matters most is if love really exist and if its real in which in our case, it is real and I am confident about that.

Or what if both of us are blind, like literally blind and we fell in love with each other. Would you call that ridiculous? How many of you have a child children already? Maybe you let your girls watch Cinderella. Ohh, and the prince fell in love with Cinderella immediately at first glance. It is such a great story, isn't it? But how come you questions our integrity of being in love with each other? When you let your girls watch such fairytails.

We have a lot of plans when we get together and he plans on visiting me again anytime soon, so I think that will do. But we are doing it not to be able to provide more evidence rather, to solidify our relationship together and have more bond for each other.

Anyone here a fan of William Shakespear?

So, forsooth you are familiar with this;

"LOVE LOOKS NOT WITH THE EYES, BUT WITH THE MIND, AND THEREFORE IS WING’D CUPID PAINTED BLIND." -William Shakespear

Or this,

"NO SOONER MET BUT THEY LOOKED, NO SOONER LOOKED BUT THEY LOVED, NO SOONER LOVED, BUT THEY SIGHED, NO SOONER SIGHED BUT THEY ASKED ONE ANOTHER THE REASON." -William Shakespear

Have you not watch the documentary about Law of attraction? I suggest you do.
And what is the sense of the free will?

One commentator here said, I am still young and that I can still find the right man for me. Ehhhh' Here he is. (Okay, not physically here with me, but in my mind and in my heart) I don't believe in Mr. Right, it's in our choice, it's in our own judgement, in our own hand if we think they are the right person for us and I am happy with my decision to marry him and be with him because for me, (Okay, this will sound cliché ) age is nothing but a number but with the level of maturity I and Gary have, we are on the same level and we let each other not fall short. We work out our differences and that is essential for our relationship to survive as we are very commuted to each other.

One also said, we do not have the right time frame or time being together to have our relationship to mature and be sure about it and that we barely know each other by the short time we are together and the span we talk to each other. May I ask you, when is the right time? When we can all say, this is the right time, this is what we have been waiting for.
I do understand you might think I might just got overwhelmed with all these, but I do know, and I acknowledge all your thoughts. Whatever time we have together is enough for me to distinguish if he is the one I would want to share the rest of my life. Am i am sure about it. Like, sure sure.

The concerns too about my welfare once I got in the US. Isn't it that there is a mandatory SEMINAR mandated by our government for the people who are securing such Visa? and if he beats the hell out of me I could assume that I can handle myself. Ohhh, and 911.
I may still be young for him or he is old for me, but I don't see it as a backlash to try and think about myself first because I know him more than you do and I am sure of it and I do not see him the way you could think of.

Gary is not willing to relocate here as he prefers to live in US and that is the reason why we filed for the K-1 visa, otherwise, how come some can assume that I might just want to secure a visa to enter US when if my fiance is willing to reside here, we wouldn't be filling for the visa anyway.

And lastly, When we are together, we spent our time in the most unforgettable way. We went to visit the Manila Orchidarium, my ever favorite Planetarium and the Rizal park where we were able to meet our national hero, Jose Rizal and the guy who killed Magelan, Lapu-Lapu. So, it wasn't like a meet and great, okay bye thing. We bond together.

I am sorry if I made such post that made most of you confused about my situation and I appreciate your thoughts regarding this matter and have made me prepared for the interview. but the boiling blood is unacceptable. Do I need to call 911? Already?

Currently, when we are together again, I just hope that I can share it all to you.

And if we made it, should you wish to come to our wedding, we are more than happy to send you invitations to attend our wedding.

I wish you all good luck and please keep them comments coming so we get a better view or what possible things we may encounter.

And my post was about the age difference and if our time being together is enough or not so we could plan more. I just wanted to hear what your thoughts are so I and Gary can discuss about it.

Despite of it all, its a lovely day and we are very positive about it and our relationship and commitment to each other grows stronger than yesterday.

Thank you so much guys.

and I will leave you all with this quote,

"You can be in a relationship for 2 years and feel nothing and you can be in a relationship for a month and feel everything."

Kimberly

Edited May 21, 2016 by Kim&Gary

[Ischnura 285]

Your grasp of the English language has increased dramatically Kim.

None the less, you came her for advice and you received honest, open advice from a community versed in immigration procedure. Nobody has told you (at least I didn't read it) to give up and move along, either of you. I've mostly read you being advised to give it time before you apply so that you can avoid the potential and probable red flags that seem to apply to your situation. We aren't here to sugar coat things and tell you it'll be a walk in the park. You could have met a dozen times and still be denied but it's more likely after only 24 hours of face to face.

My husband and I met online. We met the first time after a year of talking online and he was about to deploy. We spent the weekend together and then he left for the sand box. He proposed just before leaving but we waited for all the ducks to fall in to place before finally getting married. He knew he'd be deployed every other year and didn't want to leave me in the US where I didn't know anybody beyond soldiers who were leaving, I didn't drive and I certainly didn't know my way around. We talked via letter - I'm going back 11 years, mind you - but even as we moved in to technological upgrades it was still tough being apart. Even after being married 3 years, we have a child and all the things family life comes with for us, we still learn little random things about one another. The learning never stops, I don't think. Love isn't like in Cinderella, it takes time to grow. I could have married my soldier and eventually have been stuck on an Army base somewhere after meeting him for a weekend but that would have been irresponsible. We all have a back story and we've all been through 'it' in some way so there is genuinely some wisdom behind what people are telling you. The conversation you need to have shouldn't be how to get a quick fix to the distance. Not at all.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Not knowing each other before marriage leads to stuff like this: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/596370-i-need-some-help/

[htfaust 131]

Kimberly,

Loved this last post.

Remember what most people (me included) here are pointing out is how it'd look to a CO based on what you said and the kind of evidence that you presented. Remember all your future depends on that single person and everyone here at VJ knows how embassies worldwide operate. Some of the people that replied to you here have over 10 years of accrued experience helping other people to go over every kinds of visa processes. These people have seen it all and know what they are talking about.

It's the CO who has to be convinced, not none of us. The reason you are getting all this scrutiny here is because a CO will most likely give you the same. They tend to care more about "matter of fact" evidences than about how well the applicant can express his/her feelings when evaluating the bona fides of the relationship.

As I told you before, I do believe your intentions are genuine, but you have a very weak case from a hard-evidence standpoint as far as a CO's perspective reaches. Letting the relationship develop more before pursuing the K visa will naturally lead to the accumulation of that AND make both of you feel more comfortable and assured of a mature relationship. In your case, waiting a little longer has all of the benefits and none of the drawbacks. Why rush it?

What we are doing is telling you the plain truth of how your case stands at this point. Less than a handful of people have expressed any kind of personal judgment towards your relationship choice, but we can't (and won't) just tell you what you want to hear if that's not the factual reality.

As it is now, your case has low chances of being approved at the interview stage. We've provided you the guidance to improve that.

[RaLoveMG 43]

Not knowing each other before marriage leads to stuff like this: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/596370-i-need-some-help/

Thanks you so much Harpa Timsa for posting this. Hope he has enough time to click the Link and read it.

Edited May 21, 2016 by MorganRa

[abhi_meli 150]

Thanks you so much Harpa Timsa for posting this. Hope he has enough time to click the Link and read it.

I don't think they are ready to accept the reality...

[Boiler 45,486]

As in such cases the issue is not that they will be together but where.

The plus situation is this case is that the USC is retired and can be the one to move.

[eric1225 6]

I said if the k1 is denied. There is a process they can do which is marry and direct file at the embassy.

I dont know if this is whats best for him or not but I told him an option not that he needed to do what I said. He asked for advice and in my minimal immigration knowledge let him know another route.

This person is an adult and if he so to chooses to join his life to someone it will be a free country he is moving to and he may do so

I don't think that's even an option for them.

Philippine does not recognize same-sex marriage. So they are not able to get married there and file directly at the embassy. If OP had any kinds of visa which allow him to come to the U.S., they would probably had done so within the states and gone through the AOS process.

Hypothetically, for the alternative option, they could travel to a third country which allows same-sex marriage and got married there before filing as spouse. To my best knowledge, there is no country allows same-sex marriage near by. And they would have to travel to Europe or Canada or some countries in South America in order to do so.

Actually, that's not even a bad idea. Haha, destination wedding in Europe, spend relatively longer time with that person to find it's worth of it (which would be similar to the situation he would be in after moving to Minnesota and heavily rely on the other person for a while), get married there, and then come back to Philippine to file as spouse directly.

Not sure where I read this before. A good way to test if a relationship will work out for a longer time is to travel to a strange destination with your partner and spend some time together there. The new/strange place will bring you much more unexpected situations that are much worse than the one you may encounter during relationship or marriage life.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

I don't think that's even an option for them.

Philippine does not recognize same-sex marriage. So they are not able to get married there and file directly at the embassy. If OP had any kinds of visa which allow him to come to the U.S., they would probably had done so within the states and gone through the AOS process.

Hypothetically, for the alternative option, they could travel to a third country which allows same-sex marriage and got married there before filing as spouse. To my best knowledge, there is no country allows same-sex marriage near by. And they would have to travel to Europe or Canada or some countries in South America in order to do so.

Actually, that's not even a bad idea. Haha, destination wedding in Europe, spend relatively longer time with that person to find it's worth of it (which would be similar to the situation he would be in after moving to Minnesota and heavily rely on the other person for a while), get married there, and then come back to Philippine to file as spouse directly.

Not sure where I read this before. A good way to test if a relationship will work out for a longer time is to travel to a strange destination with your partner and spend some time together there. The new/strange place will bring you much more unexpected situations that are much worse than the one you may encounter during relationship or marriage life.

I was just throwing ideas at Kimberly seems like a nice kid trying to find out information. But they def need to spend time together knowing each other to see if they have a relationship... Edited May 22, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[eric1225 6]

Hi, This is Gary. Kim asked me to post a response because he felt some of his comments were being misunderstood. I will admit that there are some parts of our story that sound a little off beat. I hope by giving some of my background and some more details we can assure people of the legitimacy of our relationship.

First, I was quality assurance engineer, an occupation not noted for its people skills. When I retired I approached finding a life partner the same as solving an engineering problem. That is not the way most people would do it so I can understand if some people find what I did a little cold. After spending a career being married to my job I went out to the Gay Cupid site with the intent to find a partner to spend the rest of my life with. I was overwhelmed with the number of responses I received so I started narrowing the number down. I spent months in text and cam chats talking to potential mates, but I realized that I needed to meet face-to-face in order to gauge a person and how their personality matches with mine. When I got down to a couple of people that showed strong possibilities I scheduled a trip to the Philippines to meet them in person. When I met Kim in Manila we had been chatting almost daily for 3 months.

I knew Kim was special from the very beginning because we shared so much in common. When we met in person I was fairly sure he was the one, but I had to fair and meet the others to be sure. I always stressed that this was a mutual decision not me picking someone, They had an equal opportunity to judge how they felt about me. At the end of my visit I talked with Kim and his feelings were just as strong as mine that we were meant for each other. After I got back to the US we have been in almost daily conversation, often four or more hours. I have met his family through Skype and Facebook and he has started the same with mine. Since I come from a much larger family he hasn't met everyone yet. His mother shared some of the same concerns expressed here but is feeling much more comfortable after cam chatting with me on Skype. Likewise, some of my family were concerned about Kim taking advantage of me. They too have come to see that we really are in love with each other.

I will be honest, we have had our differences. One of the tests of a true relationship is what happens when there is a strong disagreement. We have always been able to resolve our differences. There have been hurt feelings and tears, but in the end we have always come together stronger than before. Are we rushing things, maybe, but our feeling is why waste time that we could be spending together. I have done everything possible to prepare Kim for life in Minnesota, from videos of falling snow and daily weather reports on the cold to buying him warm winter clothing so he will be ready to face winter. We are already putting together a list of places to go and things to do when he gets here. One of those things is signing him up for college so he can complete the degree he started in the Philippines.

I want to say I appreciate the comments that have been made already. Because Kim has never flown before he had wanted me to fly over and fly back with him when his K1 was approved. But now we see the importance of me going over there sooner than that to strengthen our case. Rest assured, Kim will go into his interview with more than five pictures and a two day visit as proof of our relationship. Any other advice for Kim, me, or the two of us would be welcome.

I am sorry to say this; but you meant you had to be fair and meet the rest of the candidates to BE SURE he was the right one whereas you just contradicted yourself by saying you were fairly sure he was the one in the same sentence?

Alright then......