Next step

[Kim&Gary 15]

Good day everyone!

i would like to share our story first before I proceed to my concerns and hopefully you can enlighten me regarding my concerns.

I and my fiance Gary met through an online gay dating site (gaycupid.com) we had our first contact around second week of october.

Since then, we did not stopped talking to each other. we never stop talking like as if our time now is just to talk to each other as we are both talkative and we share same interest and we never run out of topic to talk about which i think is really such a strong connection for both of us.

Moving on, after some time of talking to each other, He decided to meet me around second week of January 2016 and he also met some of the other guys he was considering to have as a boyfriend. (yup, that's totally okay with me since I think that is ideal)

Before he goes back to US, he finally made his decision of choosing me because he said we have a strong connection and that there is a spark when we were together compared to the other guys he have met during his time visiting here. Our time being together was two days, but it was more like just a day since we've met in January 14, 2016 around 2:00 Pm until January 15, 2016 3:00 PM so I guess it was just a day. Then there goes my concern.

My concern is that, we've only had a day or two being together. I was really concerned that the CO might find it not convincing that we have a bonafide relationship. We have 5 pictures together, but I feel like knowing that we've only had a day or two being together makes me wonder about our situation. Has anyone been through this situation before? I would really appreciate the response I would get from you guys.

With our petition, Gary provided ample evidence like, gaycupid.com is not an international marriage broker site. also, he stated on the form that we've only met for two days. Maybe I am just too concerned about it and Gary always remind me that it's okay and not to worry. we use the service of RapidVisa, but I kind of have doubts with their service as I saw some errors with what they did previously and that I needed to double check everything of what they did. I highly respect RV and what they do, nor do I try to ruin their reputation though.

Also, Gary is retired. I am currently 24 years old and he is 68, I saw some post here during their interview, the CO told them that they are just after the VISA and it was also because of the age gap. Of course, I think I could not explain my self if they say the same thing to me for I am not after the visa. If same sex marriage is allowed here, then I don't see myself applying for k-1 visa just to get married to my Gary.

What are the necessary documents that he needs to send me since he is retired already?

Thank you so much for taking time to read our story and for future help. i would appreciate it so much.

also, it is my first time to post so my topic might be out of place in the forum.

Thanks again,

Kimberly

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

I dont want to be rude but please clarify you only met for two days? I would leave out he met another man...this looks bad im sorry not because your gay but the huge age gap and that he met another man thats crazy he looks like he was fiancee shopping.

I am sorry I dont like to judge

Edited May 19, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[Boiler 45,525]

[soulstriker 274]

that age gap is a huge red flag and im sure other Philippine filers can help but a same sex marriage may also be a red flag with the Philippines , i know some oher countries dont have any bias towards it

[htfaust 131]

Good day everyone!

i would like to share our story first before I proceed to my concerns and hopefully you can enlighten me regarding my concerns.

I and my fiance Gary met through an online gay dating site (gaycupid.com) we had our first contact around second week of october.

Since then, we did not stopped talking to each other. we never stop talking like as if our time now is just to talk to each other as we are both talkative and we share same interest and we never run out of topic to talk about which i think is really such a strong connection for both of us.

Moving on, after some time of talking to each other, He decided to meet me around second week of January 2016 and he also met some of the other guys he was considering to have as a boyfriend. (yup, that's totally okay with me since I think that is ideal)

Before he goes back to US, he finally made his decision of choosing me because he said we have a strong connection and that there is a spark when we were together compared to the other guys he have met during his time visiting here. Our time being together was two days, but it was more like just a day since we've met in January 14, 2016 around 2:00 Pm until January 15, 2016 3:00 PM so I guess it was just a day. Then there goes my concern. My concern here is that a K-1 visa is not a "dating" but a "fiance" visa. Make sure you are aware of the level of commitment to the relationship it's required from both petitioner and beneficiary. Don't get me wrong as I'm absolutely trying not to be judgemental, but your description makes it sound as if you fiance was shopping for a boyfriend when he was supposed to be committed and wishing to bring his fiance to the country to spend a life with him. I'm also sure a CO would see this as a red flag.

My concern is that, we've only had a day or two being together. I was really concerned that the CO might find it not convincing that we have a bonafide relationship. You are only absolutely required to have met in person once in the 2 years preceding the filing of the petition, but having other visits and for a longer duration (I'm talking weeks here) may (and usually) help the CO establish the bona fides of the relationship. We have 5 pictures together Pictures are secondary evidence, a few of them spanning the whole course of the visits and of the relationship is usually enough. , but I feel like knowing that we've only had a day or two being together makes me wonder about our situation. Has anyone been through this situation before? Me and my fiance have met in person once for two weeks, but I'm going to see him again in about 3 weeks for other 2 weeks together! I would really appreciate the response I would get from you guys.

With our petition, Gary provided ample evidence like, gaycupid.com is not an international marriage broker site. Good, so you will avoid a RFE for that also, he stated on the form that we've only met for two days.No problem as far as meeting the legal eligibility criteria, see my previous comment regarding why having other visits may be beneficial (but it's not required). Maybe I am just too concerned about it and Gary always remind me that it's okay and not to worry. we use the service of RapidVisa, but I kind of have doubts with their service as I saw some errors with what they did previously and that I needed to double check everything of what they did. I'm doing it myself so I can't help you here. There are many other people on VJ that are using or used it, though. I highly respect RV and what they do, nor do I try to ruin their reputation though.

Also, Gary is retired. I am currently 24 years old and he is 68, I saw some post here during their interview, the CO told them that they are just after the VISA and it was also because of the age gap. It all depends on the relationship bona fides. It will cause a red flag, though, but not as severe as it would for a straight couple considering there will be no thoughts about child bearing issues. I'm 24, my same-sex fiance is 55 and we got our NOA2 this Tuesday FYI. Of course, I think I could not explain my self if they say the same thing to me for I am not after the visa. If same sex marriage is allowed here, then I don't see myself applying for k-1 visa just to get married to my Gary. You should, as a K-1 visa serves precisely that purpose. If you don't want to get married to him in the US, you mustn't apply. What you can't do is get into a marriage solely for the purpose of evading US' immigration laws.

What are the necessary documents that he needs to send me since he is retired already? Same ones as any other petitioner, just replace the ordinary W-2s for whatever form the SSA issues.

Thank you so much for taking time to read our story and for future help. i would appreciate it so much. You're welcome

also, it is my first time to post so my topic might be out of place in the forum. I think it's on the right place, but if it's not a mod will move it.

Thanks again,

Kimberly

[Kim&Gary 15]

I dont want to be rude but please clarify you only met for two days? I would leave out he met another man...this looks bad im sorry not because your gay but the huge age gap and that he met another man thats crazy he looks like he was fiancee shopping.

I am sorry I dont like to judge

It's okay anitafeliz, It's not like a fiance shopping, but more of trying to see who they really are since he met them before me. Besides that, When he contacted me, he told me that he has been talking to other guys and that he clarified everything. Say, being practical and being sure of his choice and I was totally okay with it and I plant to be honest if we ever make it until the Embassy interview. There has been a lot of cases approved with a same sex k-1 visa petition, but I wanted to know more about our situation as for what have mentioned above.

No, you are not judging, you are just saying your thoughts.

[Russ&Caro 1,549]

Sounds like you have a connection. Your concerns sound valid, too. You might request that he come visit again, soon, but this time only to see you. Another visit would probably help in terms of successfully applying for a visa. Good luck.

[Kim&Gary 15]

Sounds like you have a connection. Your concerns sound valid, too. You might request that he come visit again, soon, but this time only to see you. Another visit would probably help in terms of successfully applying for a visa. Good luck.

What our original plan is that, before we book a ticket, he will come visit here again so he can pick me up and we could see if we really love each other but that seem complicated as to goven my concern about us, meeting for just 2 days.

But lately, been talking about him, coming over here again to see if we really love each other and see if we can live under the same roof to avoid any issues. Besides that, just earlier, we talked about coming over here during my medical exam and the interview so I guess that will do, and hopefully if ever, they will let them in.

thank you for sharing your thoughts regarding my concern.

[htfaust 131]

What our original plan is that, before we book a ticket, he will come visit here again so he can pick me up and we could see if we really love each other but that seem complicated as to goven my concern about us, meeting for just 2 days.

But lately, been talking about him, coming over here again to see if we really love each other and see if we can live under the same roof to avoid any issues. Besides that, just earlier, we talked about coming over here during my medical exam and the interview so I guess that will do, and hopefully if ever, they will let them in.

thank you for sharing your thoughts regarding my concern.

Personal oppinion/advice: you are not ready to get married to him, you've not reached the appropriate relationship stage. Don't file for a K visa, just let your relationship develop.

[Markip1 71]

May I respectfully suggest that if you do not know if you love each other, then you take some time to think about whether marriage is the right step for you both? That's a personal opinion, and I mean you no offense.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

It's okay anitafeliz, It's not like a fiance shopping, but more of trying to see who they really are since he met them before me. Besides that, When he contacted me, he told me that he has been talking to other guys and that he clarified everything. Say, being practical and being sure of his choice and I was totally okay with it and I plant to be honest if we ever make it until the Embassy interview. There has been a lot of cases approved with a same sex k-1 visa petition, but I wanted to know more about our situation as for what have mentioned above.

No, you are not judging, you are just saying your thoughts.

Maybe a second visit may help the case show more bonified...i am uncertain on this being that your country is high in fraud unfortunately...

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

You have met enough to file for the K1, but only meeting for one day, together with the huge age difference, are two big red flags. Can he come over and meet again during the petition phase, for a few weeks?

[Kim&Gary 15]

htfaust

Thank you for the response and sharing your thoughts with my concern.

yes, I am pretty much aware regarding the level of commitment and we are engaged. I am sorry if you were confused, I should have elaborated our situation more so you could better understand our situation. I screen captured our conversation especially the one that are so meaningful to show as an evidence too.

He wasn't shopping for a boyfriend. but here's what happened, he went to that site to finally go look for someone to share the rest of his life and I was no longer an active member of that site that's why it took time before we had our first contact. With his email, he clearly have mentioned his intention. He said that, he has talking to other guys and that he considers them to become their boyfriend but he told me that when he saw my profile he was really interested to get to know me. (fast forward) While we are talking to each other, he told me that he has a strong feeling that he actually prefers me than the rest of the guys but we do not have any commitment or whatsoever because we both want to sure about what we feel for each other.

It was around March when he decided to file for a K-1 visa petition.

as what I have mentioned on my previous comment, we are currently talking of meeting each other again, not to benefit the visa, but to see if we really love each other and that we both really want to be sure of what we feel for each other. He was very clear of his intention. we also agreed to not get married right away when I get to be in US, like have a month to see if we can live under the same roof, and if I would really like to live there with him (especially if I could adjust with the weather in Minnesota) So we are both looking for ways.

again, i appreciate your response with it and it gave me some clarifications about our status.

You have met enough to file for the K1, but only meeting for one day, together with the huge age difference, are two big red flags. Can he come over and meet again during the petition phase, for a few weeks?

yes, that's what we are currently discussing about. so, hopefully we will meet before the interview.

Thank you for the kind response

[Kim&Gary 15]

Maybe a second visit may help the case show more bonified...i am uncertain on this being that your country is high in fraud unfortunately...

Definately, we will look into it. Yes, I understand that my country is high in fraud that is why i wanted to be sure and hear what are your thoughts pertaining to our case. But I am still being positive. Being denied will not be a problem with us since we do not want to rush things for the consequences with just bring us down but we expect challenges and hardship with this.

[htfaust 131]

htfaust

Thank you for the response and sharing your thoughts with my concern.

yes, I am pretty much aware regarding the level of commitment and we are engaged. I am sorry if you were confused, I should have elaborated our situation more so you could better understand our situation. I screen captured our conversation especially the one that are so meaningful to show as an evidence too.

He wasn't shopping for a boyfriend. but here's what happened, he went to that site to finally go look for someone to share the rest of his life and I was no longer an active member of that site that's why it took time before we had our first contact. With his email, he clearly have mentioned his intention. He said that, he has talking to other guys and that he considers them to become their boyfriend but he told me that when he saw my profile he was really interested to get to know me. (fast forward) While we are talking to each other, he told me that he has a strong feeling that he actually prefers me than the rest of the guys but we do not have any commitment or whatsoever because we both want to sure about what we feel for each other.

It was around March when he decided to file for a K-1 visa petition.

as what I have mentioned on my previous comment, we are currently talking of meeting each other again, not to benefit the visa, but to see if we really love each other and that we both really want to be sure of what we feel for each other. He was very clear of his intention. we also agreed to not get married right away when I get to be in US, like have a month to see if we can live under the same roof, and if I would really like to live there with him (especially if I could adjust with the weather in Minnesota) So we are both looking for ways.

again, i appreciate your response with it and it gave me some clarifications about our status.

yes, that's what we are currently discussing about. so, hopefully we will meet before the interview.

Thank you for the kind response

Thanks for elaborating and letting me have the full picture.

I wish you every luck and success in your relationship and in your life in general, but let me reinforce this message in a direct fashion: a K-1 visa is for the purpose of getting married to the petitioner in the United States. You must have that intention when you apply. It's not for see if you can live together, it's not to see if you love eachother, it's not to give you assurance of how you feel and to make your decision. All of that must be already decided when you make your application at the embassy. The consular officer will expect you to be as intimate as a couple that is 100% sure about sharing a life together. You are expected to know each other's life history and families, it has to be the whole thing. You need to have the intimacy level of a married couple, which is beyond passion and attraction, and if the CO senses you don't, s/he'll bust you.

Try mentally taking the back seat of the car and evaluate what you are saying from an outsider perspective as far as the present state of your relationship goes:

"but we do not have any commitment or whatsoever because we both want to sure about what we feel for each other" (present tense)

"It was around March when he decided to file for a K-1 visa petition" (it was supposed to be a joint decision)

"to see if we really love each other and that we both really want to be sure of what we feel for each other" (that's OK as a relationship thing, but to file for a K-1 all of these need to have been sorted out already)

"to see if we can live under the same roof" (a K-1 visa does not serve this purpose)

These statements rang my CO alter-ego's alarms. Please see the point I make here: there's nothing wrong with the relationship itself fraud-related, i.e. I can easily see the relationship is real, however you don't meet the statutory requirement of having a full genuine intention to marry the petitioner within 90 days of admission. The K-1 is not a "let's try it out and see if we really can/want to do this", and unfortunately there is no such visa.

I'd give it time to the relationship, and file for a K-1 once you are past that phase already and fully ready to marry and live a life together without second thoughts.

My best wishes and I hope everything works out! You're welcome to message me and ask questions anytime, glad to help.