Relationship, Gossip from People about Your Spouse

[mdnl 8]

Comments like that shouldn't bother you if you're secure enough in your relationship. The fact that you're seeking advice about what other people say or think about your marriage should allude to a deeper issue. Maybe you yourself have doubts about him or his intentions perhaps??? Otherwise you should be able to just brush it off and be happy despite what everyone else is saying. Right?

You made an assumption about my relationship based on my question. No one likes to hear negative comments about their relationship. I just want to know, how other people deal with it since many of us here are on the same boat.

[mdnl 8]

It honestly doesn't matter what kind of relationship you're in, someone is always going to be vindictive and have something to say about it.

I got some very hurtful comments from my husband's ex's sister on my personal Instagram account. One such comment was on our engagement picture stating, "what a beautiful green card you have there". I am a grown woman who makes her own choices in life, from a country that is on the same level as the USA. Ideally I didn't want to leave my home country, but I did for love.

You just have to block the people that cause drama, they're not your friends.

That's not very nice of her posting comment like that on your Instagram. People are so mean.

[3rd 84]

That's not very nice of her posting comment like that on your Instagram. People are so mean.

People will always have a willingness to judge others, and it's a sad but realistic world that we live in. The laughing matter is that I've known my husband for 4 and half years, but they only see what they want to see.

My advice? Don't take it to heart, and don't let it effect your relationship. You both know that you love each other and that's all that matters.

[Spmaria 11]

My USC husband still receives those gossips and accusations even after 6,5 years and 2 kids together. After our wedding our best man (who's USC but from my country originally also married to foreigner girl) told my husband to hold the horses and do not apply for adjustment of status for me, told him to wait and see for a couple of years, make me work illegally. And if I ever ask him to do it - divorce immediately because it would mean I'm in only for a green card. That man was standing next to me during our ceremony, congratulating us and wishing very best but thinking those thoughts. Disgusting. Now, 6,5 years later, we don't even speak to him and all the company we were friends with. I know he abused his own wife accusing her in committing a fraud. She was working very hard, making more money than him, cooking, cleaning, being next to him every time he was down... Buy he was always barking, never ever washed a dish after dinner. She dump him but not because she finally got her 10-years green card, but because he was an idiot. He thinks differently but who cares. Almost every person who told us those stories already divorced. Karma works.

Don't pay attention. I know it's hard, you don't know who to trust, but try to let it go without hard feelings. It will never stop so why other to prove them wrong. Those people are mean and not too smart, maybe they apply their own insecurities to you and your husband, it doesn't really matter. Only you two matter.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I think I maybe heard 2 comments when we had started dating. The first thing I did was laugh and the second thing I did was give the person the biggest "are you stupid or just a " look I could muster.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

In the beginning, We chose to only tell a select few but Yes unfortunately. My fiancé comes from a country that has a bit of a reputation for that which even makes it worse. Of course they feel the need to repeat all the horror stories they've heard about fraud marriages for greencard. As if I've never heard them. I finally started telling people that I can get used and cheated on just as easily by an American man. I tell them I am a grown woman capable of making my own decision and no one pays my bills but me.

You know I've found it all to stem from a lack of education. They know nothing about immigration, they've never as much as had a conversation with my fiancé let alone seen us together, so I just say ok and let it go in one ear and out the other.

I do have a small group of friends that went to JA and met him. I also took my sons there to meet him and they all loved him. So until your fiancé can get here and prove them all wrong don't worry about it. Some people love to be know it alls. Only you know the real situation.

[pch1 64]

The question is, do you think he married you for Visa? Is this why you really here for? Why do you care about what others are saying to you and why are you hiding everything about your marriage?

What is the age difference between you? And yes, some from that part of the world are know to have some high fraudulent marriages.

[POA 178]

I've been married for a few months. We were married in another country. However, not everyone knows about my marriage. Even some do who know I am married, they do not know the fact that my husband is not yet in the US. Only a few people I select to tell the truth about our story and relationship. The reason why I am "secretive" is because people make unkind comments: he just marries me for visa. When I heard this, it made me very upset. I am not an ugly woman. As a matter of fact, many people find me cute and attractive. I can find a man to date easily in America but I chose to marry my husband who is from another country.

I wonder, do you have problems like me where people make such comments that your spouse marries you just to come to America? If they do, how do you react and what's your respond?

My husband received those comments a few times before I got here. But they all disappeared after getting here. I think it is common because of all other people doing it for the green card. So can't blame other people for their assumption too.

[thespoons 33]

The only assumption people made when they learned I am marrying an American was that he's 40 years older than me or at least twice my age. I guess it is quite common in my country and age gap is no issue at all. But yeah, my husband is only 1 month older than me.

[mdnl 8]

The only assumption people made when they learned I am marrying an American was that he's 40 years older than me or at least twice my age. I guess it is quite common in my country and age gap is no issue at all. But yeah, my husband is only 1 month older than me.

Many Asians look like 30 even when they are 50. So, many people assume, he must be a sugar daddy.

[thespoons 33]

Many Asians look like 30 even when they are 50. So, many people assume, he must be a sugar daddy.

Lol and i remember my boss telling me that he noticed there are no middle aged asians. Just young asians and very old asians, nothing in between. Hahaha!

[POA 178]

The only assumption people made when they learned I am marrying an American was that he's 40 years older than me or at least twice my age. I guess it is quite common in my country and age gap is no issue at all. But yeah, my husband is only 1 month older than me.

Lol, I was always asked how old my fiance/husband is when they knew I am with an american. It was the other way around for us. I am a few months older.

[russandraquel 86]

I have sometimes gotten the feeling about this kind of stuff...

But people have CRAZY stuff happening all the time. Adultery, multiple marriages, you name it. It is pretty bad that people don't seem to care about that stuff, but they are super concerned that someone is using you for a visa.

Even when someone is being used for straight up money or status, people in the US don't seem to care too much.

At the end of the day, I really won't be thinking about what those people think when I am snuggled up to my loved one.

[TBoneTX 45,283]

I/we were fortunate. Everyone treated my situation with acceptance and respect, and when we were hosed and going through our torment at the consulate, everyone was genuinely sympathetic and understanding toward me.

Mrs. T-B. has been accepted here from the beginning, by everyone.

[A'n'L 735]

We've had the opposite. Everyone (friends, family, strangers) that my fiancé talks to seem to be extremely excited when he says he's marrying a Norwegian. I almost find it a little annoying, as everyone I meet in the US try to tell me that they are also Scandinavians (their grandmothers great great grand uncle might have come from Northern Europe)

I'm guessing it's a little different since they are aware that Norway has a very high standard of living, and they also know that I'm leaving a very good job to move to the US. It could've just as easily been the opposite situation, and especially his close family is just so happy that I'm the one moving and not him