When you fight, how long till you make up?

[rebeccajo 14]

What are you looking for here Rob? No two couples are alike.

Now - mix in some cultural differences, some overly-romantic expectations due to the long-distance relationship, some 'culture shock' for the foreign spouse, and the normalizing of any romance to the day-to-dayness of marriage, and you've got a recipe for misunderstandings.

Did you expect this to be all sunlight and roses? It's life. Maybe you need to figure out if your mutual expectations of this marriage are the same.

[Caladan 19]

We're both people with pretty explosive tempers, but we try to talk things out before bedtime.

eta: It's a good thing we're both arguers, because I cannot understand couples that have never had an argument, or people that never argue, and can only assume that you are all are either very nice or on tranquilizers.

Could it be that some people don't NEED to argue? There are more important things in this world than arguing. If you can talk and talk rationally then why does one HAVE to argue? There is a saying on the wall in the classroom of a fellow teacher: It's YOUR temper, please keep it." That says it all I think.

I didn't say I was better than anyone else, just that I don't understand it. But when a couple says they never argue, I can't imagine how that would work... do they have the same opinion on everything? Does someone just capitulate and say "whatever you want sweetie"? Is one person dominating and the other meek?

Literally, it sounds to me like someone saying "Chocolate sounds purple." I suppose that means there's quite a lot of people I wouldn't be temperamentally suited for.

[Niels Bohr 72]

Literally, it sounds to me like someone saying "Chocolate sounds purple." I suppose that means there's quite a lot of people I wouldn't be temperamentally suited for.

True. There's a lot of people whom you're not suited for. Edited March 19, 2007 by consolemaster

[KarenCee 3]

We're both people with pretty explosive tempers, but we try to talk things out before bedtime.

eta: It's a good thing we're both arguers, because I cannot understand couples that have never had an argument, or people that never argue, and can only assume that you are all are either very nice or on tranquilizers.

Could it be that some people don't NEED to argue? There are more important things in this world than arguing. If you can talk and talk rationally then why does one HAVE to argue? There is a saying on the wall in the classroom of a fellow teacher: It's YOUR temper, please keep it." That says it all I think.

I didn't say I was better than anyone else, just that I don't understand it. But when a couple says they never argue, I can't imagine how that would work... do they have the same opinion on everything? Does someone just capitulate and say "whatever you want sweetie"? Is one person dominating and the other meek?

Literally, it sounds to me like someone saying "Chocolate sounds purple." I suppose that means there's quite a lot of people I wouldn't be temperamentally suited for.

Could it be that they are both even tempered? My husband and I are like this. Neither one of us dominates the other, there isn't a need for it. There isn't a need (at least with us) to yell and throw a temper fit. What does it accomplish? It may sound freakish to you or to a lot of people, but we agree on most things. The few we don't, we compromise. He might want to go here or do that and if I don't, we compromise. We do what he desires this time and next time we do what I desire. Seems to work pretty well. We've had a few tense moments, when he or I have misunderstood something. It was usually semantics to be honest. Rather than yell and fight about it, we sat and discussed it rationally. It has always worked out. Anyone who says couples who don't argue are warped (and I've heard that before, not here though) are just looking for an excuse for their own behaviour within their marriage.

[rebeccajo 14]

We argue once in a while.

*puts up dukes*

Wanna make sumthin' of it?

[LaL 418]

we never raise our voices much less fight. we have had disagreements, and feelings hurt, and have some things to work through, but fight? not at all. i don't see anything wrong with that, and quite enjoy our way of communicating.

[William33 110]

Find common ground.

Admit fault, if it is yours.

Problem resolved.

We don't let disagreements last long, even though they are rare occurrences.

[Nancy2015 2]

Threads like that usually turn into "my relationship is better than yours!" type of thing. I already see it coming...

Peace

[marklovetina 52]

we don't fight.. just simple misunderstandings sometimes... (make tampo)...

if its my fault then i do the move to say sorry hon... then were ok back to sweetness again...

but if its his fault... no...

will never make a move.. i let him realize what's his fault...

then when he said i am sorry then i accepted it.. no one is perfect...

in love we must learn how to forgive, forget and trust...

:luv:

[littlecrazyangel 1]

We have only men/women thinking problems (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus), the next day will forget everything, nothing happed the day before

[TBoneTX 45,309]

Nothing like resurrecting a 3-year-old thread. Look at all the earlier respondents who are long-gone.

[SunShineFL 0]

somebody has lots of time on their hands to resurrect a post from 2007 lol.. a true vj addict!

[Dr. Obvious 49]

We have only men/women thinking problems (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus), the next day will forget everything, nothing happed the day before

My mom had that awful book in the bathroom and I read a bit of it for lulz. What a bunch of backward, sexist garbage. I might as well watch a season of Home Improvement for serious relationship advice. It didn't surprise me that Gray's PhD came from a diploma mill. I should have stuck to the Sylvia Browne paperbacks for my lulz.