Do you impose rules on your SO?

[Alex+R 0]

P.S. The people who answered "yes" won't dare to come on a state their piece. Scaredy cats!

ok, i'll bite. i said yes

have you told Nessa these 'rules' yet?

There's no such thing here, he's not my father, I'm not his mother. Not even my father would try to impose any rules at this stage of my life, I'm a grown up, not a kid, nobody tells me what to do. Plus I wouldn't marry someone who even tried to impose anything or told me to do so. We have mutual agreements, the stronger one is about cheating. It's the only big no no in our relationship. The rest are discussed, asked ''it would be nice if you didn't do this, for the reason ...'', never ''you are not allowed to do this, because I say so''

Hehehe maybe it's Nessa makin' the rules

[Ban Hammer 13,345]

have you told Nessa these 'rules' yet?

yup, then i went back to washing the dishes

Hehehe maybe it's Nessa makin' the rules

no comment

[MichelleandCraig 1]

*incredulous look* Ermmmm....no. If either Craig or I said I will allow you, or I forbid you to the other in all seriousness....I think the other would stop dead, turn round and say somthing to the effect of "are you SERIOUS?" Well, you know what I mean anyway...basically what everyone else is saying. I see there's 11 yes now..yipes. M.

[sparkofcreation 0]

You know what, though? The more I think about this, the less bothered I am by the idea of there being rules in a marriage. I mean, everyone has their own personal rules they live by, things they do and don't do. Some of mine include not keeping any meat except seafood in the house, worshipping the cat as a god, and that young kids should have a stay-at-home parent and it ain't gonna be me. And anyone who wants to live with me had darn well better agree to not keep meat in the house, worship the cat, and be a stay-at-home parent if we ever had kids. Gareth knew that was the way I want to live my life before he married me, and he accepted that as part of the package; I wouldn't have married him if he didn't. Not because I want to force him to follow my rules, but because I have certain beliefs about how life should be lived and how I want my life to be, and anyone who wants to share my life obviously has to accept my beliefs about how to live it, including my personal rules about how to do so.

I mean, using the words "forbid" and "allow" is a bit harsh, but when it comes down to it, if Gareth wanted to have steak every night, or failed to appreciate how truly wonderful my cat is, or expected me to stay home with the kids, the relationship would be fundamentally unworkable. So while I'd never actually say the words "I forbid you to have meat in the house," in the end, if he was unwilling to live without meat in the house, then there would not be a marriage.

BTW, on the topic, he says "Yeah, I mean, if I wanted to eat steak every night, our relationship just wouldn't work."

[Lizzy 0]

There is a few rules in our house but there rules for the two of us, things like, Dont drink and drive, Dont cheat, respect for each other, that kind of thing.

[PlatyPius 5]

I don't particularly want one, because that's a heck of a lot of dog to be responsible for, but if you have the time to devote to training them well, they're supposed to be utterly fantastic. I mean, you have to want a dog that's protective, but properly trained, they're not dangerous unless you threaten their people. And, as I said, incredibly intelligent and want to please their people.

I've heard the same and this is why he wants a rottweiler. My fear is that dogs can "flip" even if properly trained. Isn't that true?

Sorry, Lisa, not trying to hijack....

I've been around a few Rotties, and they were wonderful dogs. Like people, each one has a different personality. Normally I'd say that a shelter animal is going to have traits that you don't want; which is one reason people take their dogs/cats to shelters. In the case of a Rottie this is also true, but not as widespread. A lot of people who get Rotties will get rid of a NON-aggresive dog by abandoning it (or killing it). Ergo, your odds of finding a Rottie with a good temperament in a shelter is actually pretty decent. (Not that Rotties show up in shelters all that often anyway, though.)

Here's a bit from the American Rottweiler Club:

TEMPERAMENT: Rottweiler temperaments vary from natural clowns, who are affectionate to almost anyone, to the very reserved, one-person dog. Ideally they should be calm but alert companions. These dogs often follow their masters from place to place in the home, keeping a constant but unobtrusive watch over their loved one. Nervous, shy, excitable or hyperactive individuals are exhibiting traits which are undesirable in an animal the size and nature of the Rottweiler and should be avoided.

AGGRESSIVENESS: This trait varies with the individual dog to some degree, although all have a strong territorial instinct and will defend their master's home, car and property from intruders. Rottweilers have also been known to bully or bluff their owners or other people, a trait that is most disconcerting. This problem is easily prevented through early obedience training and the development of a mutually rewarding working relationship.

(bolding is by me. The two Rotties I "knew" were the clown sort.)

http://www.amrottclub.org/introduc.htm

[Nessa 23]

Don't cheat on each other, don't drink and drive, don't play with wasps nest (Yeah I'm exagerating but this was similar the example Charles gave me when I asked which rules are you refering about ), respect each other, those are common sense, part of life, I don't see them as rules imposed by someone.

[sparkofcreation 0]

I've been around a few Rotties, and they were wonderful dogs. Like people, each one has a different personality. Normally I'd say that a shelter animal is going to have traits that you don't want; which is one reason people take their dogs/cats to shelters. In the case of a Rottie this is also true, but not as widespread. A lot of people who get Rotties will get rid of a NON-aggresive dog by abandoning it (or killing it). Ergo, your odds of finding a Rottie with a good temperament in a shelter is actually pretty decent. (Not that Rotties show up in shelters all that often anyway, though.)

Actually I'd say rotties are easily in the top five in shelters around here. I have always wondered why; then again, the dogs people have here are not the dogs they had in NJ. In NJ people usually had labs, goldens, that sort of thing--big, goofy, and what you'd think of as the ideal with kids. Here they usually either have some sort of guard dog (like rotties and pit bulls) or some sort of herding dog (German shepherds, Australian shepherds, Australian cattle dogs, border collies) or else ... whatever you call dogs like huskies, malamutes, etc. (this one makes sense; the same characteristics that keep them warm in extreme cold also keep them cool in extreme heat).

Our primary requirement is that the dog be good with cats and not hurt them. Our cats like dogs, so I figure we're more than halfway there, but I think our biggest issue is going to be preferably something that can chase them without hurting them (i.e. without having a prey drive kick in and trying to eat them at the end). Second choice would be something that won't chase them at all, but since they love to be chased (by each other and by us), if we can manage something that will chase but not hurt them at the end, that would be ideal.

[Alex+R 0]

I just read Min Pins are good with cats. Don't know if it's true though. I've had a cat for 2 weeks and I'm already trying to find out which dog I can get in ten years, hehehe

[Fandango 1,439]

Don't cheat on each other, don't drink and drive, don't play with wasps nest (Yeah I'm exagerating but this was similar the example Charles gave me when I asked which rules are you refering about ), respect each other, those are common sense, part of life, I don't see them as rules imposed by someone.

I agree. That's just common sense respect for each other.

[babybunny 2]

We are only prisoners of love. We don't follow rules because there isn't any, and no way would I want to be shackled to a ball and chain, and neither does he. He don't sign my paycheques and I sure don't sign his. It just works for us that way.

what does him and you signing paychecks have to do with it? would it be diffrent if he paid you? I dont see the relation between a RULE and a paycheck.

[Bobbie 1]

I'm not sure how to answer yet.

There's one issue that we've been round and round over. He wants a rottweiler. I hate big scary dogs. Luckily, we can't possibly have a rottweiler in our apartment. But when we do have a house, I'm afraid the issue will come up again. Now, I'm pretty confident that when it comes down to it, he won't go out and buy a rottweiler when I've expressed how much I dislike them. But at the same time, he also doesn't understand what my problem is. This might be an issue that will come to me "disallowing" a rottweiler in the house.

So, I guess as of right now, those words aren't in our marital vocab, but I can't say that they won't be added in the future...

Im in mortgages and real estate investing. Let me tell you, call a home owners insurance agency and ask, do you cover homes wiht rottweiler dogs? Most likely they will say NO. I believe they are one of the 7 or 10 dogs on the list of non insurable for home owners insurance. ....if so, problem solved.

[de_sjiem 0]

I just dont get the whole rottie thing.. I had 2 growing up and they were both wonderful dogs.. one had obedience training and the other didn't.. they are very protective of their people, but that isn't a totally bad thing.. also our old boss had a rottie too and she was the sweetest dog ever.. (also my grandmother and uncles in the netherlands had rotties too) it really really depends on how they are raised, but they certainly are great great dogs..

[Fandango 1,439]

This is an old thread, but since it's bumped...

We are only prisoners of love. We don't follow rules because there isn't any, and no way would I want to be shackled to a ball and chain, and neither does he. He don't sign my paycheques and I sure don't sign his. It just works for us that way.

what does him and you signing paychecks have to do with it? would it be diffrent if he paid you? I dont see the relation between a RULE and a paycheck.

Shonnie, it's an expression...meaning he's not her boss

[CarolineM 0]

Stewart had a cleaning job once in Whistler...and he picked up some suits that someone left behind. They are HORRIBLE...three piece suits - one grey, and one brown courderoy...I mean HORRIBLE, hideous...and he adores them.

So. We were going somewhere one night - some nice restuarant or a party or something like that...he comes out ready to go...dressed in one of the suits...

I said..."I forbid you to wear the suit..."

We stared at eachother for about 15 seconds and then it sunk in how Stupid that sounded...we laughed...

but he didn't go out in that damn suit that's for sure.

so I said "no" but usually i get my way before it gets to "forbidding"