Two wedding ceremonies? (split thread/merged topics)

[yuna628 9,717]

Sorry, The purpose of having two ceremonies is not to get the marriage certificate earlier.

My fiancee is Mennonite (very conservative stream of Christianity) and she is shunned from her church, her church was not supporting our relationship either. She has not taken a membership of any other church because she is waiting for me to come to the states first.

What she told me, there is no minister in Virginia who can marry us since she is not a member of any church. My fiancee has one uncle who is minister from Ohio and she think that he don't have authority to marry foreigner or someone in another state. I don't know the rules there and thats why came here to seek advice.

I am in a favor of having just one wedding but since we are marrying on Saturday and if this courthouse thing is necessary we may need to do that on a working day. I strongly believe that we can still have just one wedding ceremony but I am here confirm what I believe is true to convince my fiancee we don't need two different ceremonies.

OP: I think first you have to ask the question of who governs over marriage and what makes a marriage legal?

It is the state that governs and makes a marriage legal, by obtaining a marriage license and then being married in front of someone authorized to do so and complete the paperwork.

Now, when a church official says they cannot marry you because you do not belong to their church or faith or something of that nature, it isn't that they can't under legal law. It's that they won't under their own church law, and our legal laws cannot compel them to do so.

In the eyes of the law if you go to a courthouse and are married there beforehand, going to a pastor who agrees to marry you doesn't make you more married than you were already. So for your fiancé this is probably a more religiously minded question, of wanting the marriage to be ordained/blessed under the religion she is a part of.

The options before you are: a courthouse wedding only, followed by a blessing from whatever faith your fiancé feels is prudent and is willing to do so. The marriage the pastor does is only ceremonial in nature, as you are already married legally. This works best if the uncle is not legally authorized to perform a marriage in Virginia or is unwilling to fill out the paperwork to get himself authorized in Virginia. If he is willing to put aside his own convictions and offer an ordained blessing, this is most likely of some comfort and puts your fiancé's mind at ease from a religious standpoint.

Finding an officiant. Officiants have the legal ability to step into the role of someone that can marry you legally but also fulfill many religious concerns by providing a ceremony that is more religiously minded. They show up at your planned place to marry you (say a park or other location), perform the service and fulfill the legal requirements while also fulfilling religious requirements. An officiant's job is to work with a couple to make a ceremony that reflects not only them but whatever beliefs they may have. You are still just as married.

Living among the Amish and Mennonite community as I have for years, I can understand that it is a difficult thing to be shunned for them, and finding the appropriate balance in having a legal marriage and honoring religious conviction and tradition is a hard one.

Edited May 3, 2016 by yuna628

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Thanks everyone for all your valuable feedback. It solved a lot of mystery for me.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Good luck, string beats! I hope you get the wedding you want.

[Eternal Spring 10]

Having two weddings is completely fine, as long as you only use the first wedding date as the date of marriage on your paperwork.

I had two weddings because it was really important to me to have a church wedding, but I also couldn't afford to support my now-husband and myself (I was paying his rent and my own rent, since he had been injured and was out of work for a while, and we did not live together prior to our marriage). We had the official wedding ceremony in January a few years ago, and then in March of that same year, we had our church wedding. We could not change the date of our church wedding, because out-of-state guests had already booked their plane tickets to attend the church wedding. People have two ceremonies all the time here. For the paperwork our lawyer submitted on our behalf, we provided our marriage license (which shows the date of the official marriage in January), and photos of our very large church wedding (we had around 300 guests). Our I-130 application was approved in 77 days, and I believe that the many photos from second wedding were what helped convince the immigration officials of the validity of our marriage.

[string_beats 15]

Having two weddings is completely fine, as long as you only use the first wedding date as the date of marriage on your paperwork.

I had two weddings because it was really important to me to have a church wedding, but I also couldn't afford to support my now-husband and myself (I was paying his rent and my own rent, since he had been injured and was out of work for a while, and we did not live together prior to our marriage). We had the official wedding ceremony in January a few years ago, and then in March of that same year, we had our church wedding. We could not change the date of our church wedding, because out-of-state guests had already booked their plane tickets to attend the church wedding. People have two ceremonies all the time here. For the paperwork our lawyer submitted on our behalf, we provided our marriage license (which shows the date of the official marriage in January), and photos of our very large church wedding (we had around 300 guests). Our I-130 application was approved in 77 days, and I believe that the many photos from second wedding were what helped convince the immigration officials of the validity of our marriage.

Hi Eternal Spring, this is what we are planning also, to get married in the courthouse and judge officiate the wedding and use that date as a marriage date.

My Fiancee also want to send the picture of the church wedding with the guest and stuff at the time of AOS. But I am bit concern if we need to write an statement to the USCIS and explain that the church wedding was just religious ceremony and we already officiated the wedding in the courthouse? Did you explain these two events at the time of filing AOS petition and at the interview later as you send the pictures of church wedding?

[string_beats 15]

Good luck, string beats! I hope you get the wedding you want.

Thanks Harpa Timsah, Good Luck to you too for all your future endeavors..

[Caryh 5,206]

Hi Eternal Spring, this is what we are planning also, to get married in the courthouse and judge officiate the wedding and use that date as a marriage date.

My Fiancee also want to send the picture of the church wedding with the guest and stuff at the time of AOS. But I am bit concern if we need to write an statement to the USCIS and explain that the church wedding was just religious ceremony and we already officiated the wedding in the courthouse? Did you explain these two events at the time of filing AOS petition and at the interview later as you send the pictures of church wedding?

Just refer to them as the Legal marriage, and the Church Ceremony. They'll understand they were separated, one for the the legality and the other for the spiritual side.

[string_beats 15]

Just refer to them as the Legal marriage, and the Church Ceremony. They'll understand they were separated, one for the the legality and the other for the spiritual side.

Thanks once again Caryn for your input.

I was doing some research regarding SSN and stuff and all of the sudden I noticed that someone mentioned here on one forum that SSN is required in order to get the marriage license .

I am bit freaking out right now cuz I was planning to enter the States on 1st or 2nd June.

Is it true that a person need SSN in order to get a marriage license.

[Caryh 5,206]

Thanks once again Caryn for your input.

I was doing some research regarding SSN and stuff and all of the sudden I noticed that someone mentioned here on one forum that SSN is required in order to get the marriage license .

I am bit freaking out right now cuz I was planning to enter the States on 1st or 2nd June.

Is it true that a person need SSN in order to get a marriage license.

I've heard some states require a SSN for marriage. It does appear Virginia does.

http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/courts/circuit/marriage_license_info.htm

Edited May 5, 2016 by Caryh

[string_beats 15]

I've heard some states require a SSN for marriage. It does appear Virginia does.

http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/courts/circuit/marriage_license_info.htm

Thank you, I will try to call one or two places to make sure we are save.

[yuna628 9,717]

Thanks once again Caryn for your input.

I was doing some research regarding SSN and stuff and all of the sudden I noticed that someone mentioned here on one forum that SSN is required in order to get the marriage license .

I am bit freaking out right now cuz I was planning to enter the States on 1st or 2nd June.

Is it true that a person need SSN in order to get a marriage license.

People get married in the US all the time and don't have an SSN. My suggestion would be to call the clerk of the court of the location you intend to get your license from, and ask. More than likely you can use your passport in lieu of an SSN.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

You can get married without SSN in all states. There is a federal law about this.

[Caryh 5,206]

You can get married without SSN in all states. There is a federal law about this.

There's federal laws about a lot of things that states ignore though until they're forced to pay attention to it.

[KayDeeCee 4,896]

There's federal laws about a lot of things that states ignore though until they're forced to pay attention to it.

If you look at the requirements for most states, you will find SSN listed. However, that is if you already have one. If you have an SSN, you must provide it. If you do not, then you can let the court clerk know you are a non-resident alien and do not have a US SSN. They should allow you to use something else in that case, such as the number from your passport. If everyone needed an SSN to marry, then tourists doing destination weddings would not exist.

[string_beats 15]

I called the circuit court close to the place we are getting married and they said SSN not required, Excellent News!