How do you face long months of waiting?

[Ellie__ 8]

My fiancé was in Italy for a few years before he moved back to America. He left on January, came back to Italy in March and proposed.

He was in the military so I was pretty used to the distance.

How did/do you face long months of waiting? How do you feel when you have to visit feeling scared to be refused??

I just can't wait to see him again but I am so scared for all these things I am reading about immigration officers and all the stress we could have once we are married and apply for a visa.

Sometimes I just can't wait for this to end

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

My fiancé was in Italy for a few years before he moved back to America. He left on January, came back to Italy in March and proposed.

He was in the military so I was pretty used to the distance.

How did/do you face long months of waiting? How do you feel when you have to visit feeling scared to be refused??

I just can't wait to see him again but I am so scared for all these things I am reading about immigration officers and all the stress we could have once we are married and apply for a visa.

Sometimes I just can't wait for this to end

It's EXTREMLY HARD I FaceTime what's app and visit but he's in DR a ticket round trip is 400-500 depending on the season....USA to Italy is way more...but he's a veteran you'll be fine he can bring you here rather quickly now the fiancee visa process is much quicker than in the past... hope u feel better Edited April 30, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[NikLR 13,231]

~~moved to off topic from IR1/CR1 process and procedures with other like topics because topic is not an update/progress question and is not about the visa process. ~~

[JFH 12,191]

I break it up into many small sections. I prefer to visit regularly for short durations than one long trip once a year. I plan small things and I always make sure I have three things to look forward to. A lunch date with a friend, a birthday party, a shopping trip, a night at the theatre or cinema, anything like that. Always have three things. This was advice given to me by an aunt who lost her husband to a heart attack very suddenly. It helped her through the grief and although this is different there are similarities. When you have got past one thing, find another so that you always have the three.

[blondedoc 35]

We do small meetings every 2 months...

The more the time goes, the more I struggle... Now, depressed... He is too.

The visits are not becoming enough anymore once I always remember that it is just for 5 or 6 days...

It is making me sick. He's sick too. He got a lot of weight and I lost a bunch.

[NikLR 13,231]

It's making you sick because you worry about what is happening (time apart) instead of what is going to happen. Think positively. Easier said than done but try daily affirmations and enjoy the time you have together instead of worrying about the time you don't. It's the power that your mind has over your body.

Our time apart sucked and when we just couldn't stand it anymore, we visited for about 10 days. But otherwise we were on Skype 24/7 and made sure we answered each other's messages ASAP. I even got used to that because now when he doesn't answer I have to remind myself he's likely busy and I'll see him at home later. You can get spoiled with 24/7 attention!

[blondedoc 35]

It's making you sick because you worry about what is happening (time apart) instead of what is going to happen. Think positively. Easier said than done but try daily affirmations and enjoy the time you have together instead of worrying about the time you don't. It's the power that your mind has over your body.

Our time apart sucked and when we just couldn't stand it anymore, we visited for about 10 days. But otherwise we were on Skype 24/7 and made sure we answered each other's messages ASAP. I even got used to that because now when he doesn't answer I have to remind myself he's likely busy and I'll see him at home later. You can get spoiled with 24/7 attention!

Thank you for your words NLR

After a year apart and a process that is in a black whole is difficult to do that.

I do my best. I work, I entertain myself... I think I became a boring person, because my friends cannot make me feel good anymore and I cant hide it.

And me and my husband we are having other problems together with that ($$$) and it just add more stress. My family don´t support me (I´m their supporter...).

Definitely I enjoy our time together but I can´t get out of my mind that I have my husband just those days and I "don´t have the right" to live with him.

I think what is making me bad is the smile that I have to give for everyone and pretend 24h a day that everything is fine.

I´m using so much skype that I hate that already. I promised myself that I´ll close my account when all of this is done.

I´m sorry to complain so much...

I hope you will have a great week.

Thank you.

[NikLR 13,231]

Thank you for your words NLR

After a year apart and a process that is in a black whole is difficult to do that.

I do my best. I work, I entertain myself... I think I became a boring person, because my friends cannot make me feel good anymore and I cant hide it.

And me and my husband we are having other problems together with that ($$$) and it just add more stress. My family don´t support me (I´m their supporter...).

Definitely I enjoy our time together but I can´t get out of my mind that I have my husband just those days and I "don´t have the right" to live with him.

I think what is making me bad is the smile that I have to give for everyone and pretend 24h a day that everything is fine.

I´m using so much skype that I hate that already. I promised myself that I´ll close my account when all of this is done.

I´m sorry to complain so much...

I hope you will have a great week.

Thank you.

Yup it's hard. We spent a over a year apart with only about 69 days together in the middle. Our first anniversary came and went without us living together. Money is always a stressful issue between couples.

Hubs and I left skype on the entire time we were home. The only time it was off was when we were at work or really angry with each other, which was mostly due to the stress of being apart and sometimes due to how we deal with anger (we both need cooling off periods.)

Don't pretend life is okay when it's not, but remember that life will get better.

[LisaK 3]

It's very difficult indeed,there's times when it takes its toll, all we have are the long daily skype chats and Facebook messages,we manage to visit each other every few months. It's very upsetting sometimes for us as a couple, and as for the actual immigration process, they are just doing a Dam good job for the sake of love!!!! We all need to stop worrying about that part, all of this process does make me think of all the elder folk back in the day, where there was nothing virtual and their joy was receiving a letter in the post to each other. Can you imagine the joy.

[LisaK 3]

Oh and I'm so excited to have found this site, I seem to be logging in continously, it's a great site

[NikLR 13,231]

I can't imagine how it must have been for our grandparents (or great grandparents) during World War 2. To say that letters were infrequent would be a huge understatement. Military families go through much worse than us in times of deployment, especially in times of war. My BIL is about to go out on a boat for 6 months in June. His 3 kids and wife will barely hear from him for 6 months. There certainly won't be the all day skype calls!

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

I think you end up looking back and thinking that wasn't so hard, but while you are going through it, it seems difficult. Just find a hobby and try and focus on other things when you are not talking. The more you focus on it, the worse it will feel.

I actually found that all the other things we went through were much more difficult, sometimes I wish that we could have gone back to the easy days of Skype.

[blondedoc 35]

Some people are more lucky.

In more than a year I had less than 30 days with my husband.

We never even had a harder discussion... we think at the same way with almost all of the things, so our money issues is nothing more than one look to each other and say why and how it is making us worried.

Unfortunately I have to pretend... I feel worse to make my husband worse. And if I don´t hide that I´m ok, he gets worse... It looks like a snow ball. And at work, no one need to deal with me always with a sad face, so that´s why I hide. Many times I get myself crying at work, so I walk a little bit, go to the bathroom and I pray for my shift to finish fast and I can come back home and talk to him, or simply cry. I don´t sleep well, I don´t eat well, I stay like a stupid trying to find a solution on the internet... Making a never endind research.

I´m passing through a really bad time of this waiting time...

I hope I´ll get through it...

I know we have up and downs, but this time the down is taking longer, maybe because it´s been already a long wait.

Wow... I don´t want to think about the old times without internet. I´m not that strong to get something like this.

This process? Is taking some years of my life, for sure. It drained my health severely.

I´m doing this because I love my husband more than everything in this world and be with him is my last desire in this life.

I don´t need anything else, just be with him and I hope I´ll be able to do that.

Thank you all for the good words and the support.

God will return a lot of good things to you all.

[Thesmiths2016 117]

Every day you're apart you're also one day closer to being together ? Keep yourself busy, stay in touch, and remember that you'll never be as far away from seeing each other as you are right now. Good luck! It's hard but it's worth it.

[X Factor 1,112]

Keep busy. With overtime etc, etc