Abusive Wife

[firebird00 66]

If it fails she could have you slapped with dv charges. And ruin your ability to stay in America or remove conditions on your own. Keep that in mind too. You may not get out with just a divorce.

I am not gonna get in any confrontation with her, or any argument. When things are about to get hot I will just go out for a walk or something. If I see the program is not helping and there's no hope then I will just tell her that we should divorce for our own good.

[sparkles_ 456]

I am not gonna get in any confrontation with her, or any argument. When things are about to get hot I will just go out for a walk or something. If I see the program is not helping and there's no hope then I will just tell her that we should divorce for our own good.

For your safety, and in a country where the courts tend to believe false accusations of dv, I would ask her to go to in patient treatment. Or you leave the home while she does an out patient program. Keep your phone on and record everything when she gets into an episode and start it off with "I'm recording for my own safety"

Good luck

[Transborderwife 4,666]

For your safety, and in a country where the courts tend to believe false accusations of dv, I would ask her to go to in patient treatment. Or you leave the home while she does an out patient program. Keep your phone on and record everything when she gets into an episode and start it off with "I'm recording for my own safety"

Good luck

If she says no to being recorded he cannot use it as New Hampshire is a two party consent state.

[firebird00 66]

For your safety, and in a country where the courts tend to believe false accusations of dv, I would ask her to go to in patient treatment. Or you leave the home while she does an out patient program. Keep your phone on and record everything when she gets into an episode and start it off with "I'm recording for my own safety"

Good luck

Ya, I honestly don't think it's worth it to get it in any legal problem. I will stay always aware and try to give her help as much as I can. Nothing else I can do after this.

If she says no to being recorded he cannot use it as New Hampshire is a two party consent state.

True. But can I take pictures for her medications and scan any documents from her doctors about her mental problems?

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Ya, I honestly don't think it's worth it to get it in any legal problem. I will stay always aware and try to give her help as much as I can. Nothing else I can do after this.

True. But can I take pictures for her medications and scan any documents from her doctors about her mental problems?

Documents in unsure. But they could be subpoenaed if it got to that point.

[sparkles_ 456]

If she says no to being recorded he cannot use it as New Hampshire is a two party consent state.

Missed that fact. Sigh, hate to hear that in this situation.

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

Seems like she realized that with him (and his paycheck) leaving and no alimony to be had in a divorce, it's in her best interest to make him believe that she really wants him to stay. Maybe she has bigger plans for him. (Do you still have that life insurance?)

Personally, I would sleep with one eye open if my wife was mentally unstable. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I don't think you understand how much trouble she can get you into by just saying "domestic violence", without any proof. Really think about if it's worth the risk.

[firebird00 66]

Seems like she realized that with him (and his paycheck) leaving and no alimony to be had in a divorce, it's in her best interest to make him believe that she really wants him to stay. Maybe she has bigger plans for him. (Do you still have that life insurance?)

Personally, I would sleep with one eye open if my wife was mentally unstable. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I don't think you understand how much trouble she can get you into by just saying "domestic violence", without any proof. Really think about if it's worth the risk.

I do have $250,000 life insurance and she refused to get it life insurance although I offered to pay for both of us.

We are looking to places together for DBT so she can go there and get the help needed.

[N and J 88]

Seems like she realized that with him (and his paycheck) leaving and no alimony to be had in a divorce, it's in her best interest to make him believe that she really wants him to stay. Maybe she has bigger plans for him. (Do you still have that life insurance?)

Personally, I would sleep with one eye open if my wife was mentally unstable. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I don't think you understand how much trouble she can get you into by just saying "domestic violence", without any proof. Really think about if it's worth the risk.

Lol I'm sorry the bigger plans made me chuckle.

[N and J 88]

I do have $250,000 life insurance and she refused to get it life insurance although I offered to pay for both of us.

We are looking to places together for DBT so she can go there and get the help needed.

Make sure they are highly trained in DBT and they don't just take your money. IF BPD is what she has you need a highly highly trained therapist. Most BPD people don't believe they are sick and need help it's everyone else. Good luck.

[Caryh 5,206]

Make sure they are highly trained in DBT and they don't just take your money. IF BPD is what she has you need a highly highly trained therapist. Most BPD people don't believe they are sick and need help it's everyone else. Good luck.

That's my ex-wife, but luckily she had a mild. I didn't even realize it until a marriage counselor told me to get a particular book and read it so I would understand what I was up against. The whole book I was going OMG that explains my entire marriage.

[N and J 88]

That's my ex-wife, but luckily she had a mild. I didn't even realize it until a marriage counselor told me to get a particular book and read it so I would understand what I was up against. The whole book I was going OMG that explains my entire marriage.

It's sad and the BPD person can't be blamed but it normally doesn't make good for relationships. Very very hard people to live with.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

It's sad and the BPD person can't be blamed but it normally doesn't make good for relationships. Very very hard people to live with.

But it's not a death sentence either. I have BPD. Mine was mainly situational. I have some habits that I fall back on and still have ocd as well. But have been successfully managing it for two years. Medications are not overly successful with many bpd patients. I found my best therapy was mindfulness

[N and J 88]

But it's not a death sentence either. I have BPD. Mine was mainly situational. I have some habits that I fall back on and still have ocd as well. But have been successfully managing it for two years. Medications are not overly successful with many bpd patients. I found my best therapy was mindfulness

No medication normally doesn't work. No it's not a death sentence...not at all. You help yourself though many do not. It's like any other mental health issue. You get out of it what you put in. Congrats on controlling it. Hey don't we ALL fall back on habits? People don't really understand that not only is it a struggle for the person living with the BPD person but also for the BDP themselves. Like with many mental health issues retraining the brain and good therapy can help people overcome issues. Therapy on both ends the loved ones and the person. I'm not a medication person. I think we love to shove pills down people's throats to make life easy. Getting better is not easy it's a process and medication is not always the answer.

[Rc123rc 528]

That's my ex-wife, but luckily she had a mild. I didn't even realize it until a marriage counselor told me to get a particular book and read it so I would understand what I was up against. The whole book I was going OMG that explains my entire marriage.

This book? My marriage counselor had me read this and write out examples in our marriage.

http://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901/ref=dp_ob_title_bk

Needless to say, it was right on. It didn't matter. The marriage was already dead by that time.

Edited May 4, 2016 by rcripps