Abusive Wife

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Firebird update.....

[firebird00 66]

UPDATE:

So I moved out to a small motel and started to look for places to live in, I took some of my cloth and left the rest at home. I went back a week later to get the rest of my stuff that I needed and my wife was there, she started to crying and told me that she went to DBT program and she told them everything she is going thru and they told her that they is qualified for disability or something like that. They referred her to go to a rehab program while still doing DBT. She said that she is sick of her life this way and she doesnt want to be alone and that she loves me, of course. She said that she feels she is now very close to get the help needed, then she asked for my help to stay with her untill she gets better. She said I know I wanted divorce and everything but I am asking for your help now, you are the only one who can help me and she meant financially. She said i don't want to lose my kids and I know very well if I go into a rehab program for couple of weeks my ex husband will fight me over the kids and will prove that I never kept a job and I cant provide for the kids as needed. She said please I need your help I know you can leave me now and it's your right but I am asking for your help. I said I will help you but that will be the last thing I will do. If for any reason the DBT failed or you failed to attend or the rehab I will leave you because you are the one who can really help yourself not me. I am seeing a personal counselor to help me get thru this.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

As a person who he suffered with bpd this could very well be a trap. Just warning you

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

firebird you are in a bad situation but that says alot for you....i hope this woman can stay in her rehab and not jeopardize you or your freedom

[Caryh 5,206]

I wish you good luck with that. It is very typical for a BPD to do anything to reel a victim back in. Once you're in, all promises go right out the door.

[firebird00 66]

As a person who he suffered with bpd this could very well be a trap. Just warning you

I am aware of that.

firebird you are in a bad situation but that says alot for you....i hope this woman can stay in her rehab and not jeopardize you or your freedom

I know, she really needs help I feel bad for her and how she is.

I wish you good luck with that. It is very typical for a BPD to do anything to reel a victim back in. Once you're in, all promises go right out the door.

Thank you and yes you are right. I am just trying to help her because I really feel bad about her.

[N and J 88]

I am aware of that.

I know, she really needs help I feel bad for her and how she is.

Thank you and yes you are right. I am just trying to help her because I really feel bad about her.

I wish you good luck. I know you feel bad but she isn't going to feel bad for you when you end up in jail or deported. Just letting you know. She doesn't feel bad that you hurt or that this is bad for you...She feels bad for herself. Which is normal. She feels bad because her feelings are hurt. Good luck though!! I hope everything works out.

[firebird00 66]

I wish you good luck. I know you feel bad but she isn't going to feel bad for you when you end up in jail or deported. Just letting you know. She doesn't feel bad that you hurt or that this is bad for you...She feels bad for herself. Which is normal. She feels bad because her feelings are hurt. Good luck though!! I hope everything works out.

Thank you. I decided not to get in any argument with her, even if she tries I will just go into another room and close the door or go out and come home later. I just want her to start the rehab program and see how it will go. Rehab is the last resort for her and me. If it didn't work then I guess she will never be fixed and I really feel sorry for her and how miserable her life will be.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

GLAD YOUR DOING WELL FROM THIS....cant elavorate on the other thread that would be a hyjack

Edited June 5, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[firebird00 66]

GLAD YOUR DOING WELL FROM THIS....cant elavorate on the other thread that would be a hyjack

Oh ok now I got you, thanks. My wife is going to DBT and I am going with her sometimes, things are fine and I hope they will get better soon. Hopefully she will be back to how she was when we first met and when I first came here.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Im glad its going well you def have everyones thoughts on here

[firebird00 66]

HI everyone I am back with an expected update;

So my wife was going to therapy and I guess it just wont work, last night we argued about something simple kind of and when we went back home she stayed alone and closed the door on herself. After that she came out to me and said to file for divorce, I said I dont want a divorce, if you want then you file. She insisted that I file, I don't know why? Then I said I will not do that. By that time I was preparing my dinner, so she grabbed my dinner and went out to our backyard and dumped it there, then came back and said that she will fight me and will send a letter for USCIS that I married her as immigration fraud. We got married in 2014 and I am in the US since January 2015. I told her who said that our marriage was or is fraud? She said I am saying that you married me as a fraud. I said that is not true. Then she said I will send a letter to USCIS to send you back home. I didn't really argue with her a lot. Why does she want me to file for the divorce? I know that her sending a letter to the USCIS will not really do much to hurt me. I have my GC since January 2015 and I have proof of living together.

[Cheezees 1,514]

HI everyone I am back with an expected update;

So my wife was going to therapy and I guess it just wont work, last night we argued about something simple kind of and when we went back home she stayed alone and closed the door on herself. After that she came out to me and said to file for divorce, I said I dont want a divorce, if you want then you file. She insisted that I file, I don't know why? Then I said I will not do that. By that time I was preparing my dinner, so she grabbed my dinner and went out to our backyard and dumped it there, then came back and said that she will fight me and will send a letter for USCIS that I married her as immigration fraud. We got married in 2014 and I am in the US since January 2015. I told her who said that our marriage was or is fraud? She said I am saying that you married me as a fraud. I said that is not true. Then she said I will send a letter to USCIS to send you back home. I didn't really argue with her a lot. Why does she want me to file for the divorce? I know that her sending a letter to the USCIS will not really do much to hurt me. I have my GC since January 2015 and I have proof of living together.

I am so sorry it turned out this way. You really should be the one to file for divorce. I don't know why she is insisting you do but it is in your own best interest. The person who files has control of the proceedings. You do not want to be at the mercy of someone is an unstable mental state. Seriously, DO NOT let her file first - it is for your own protection!

I understand that you want to work on the relationship. While I would not advise that you do, it is up to you ultimately. However, again I advise you to file for divorce even if you seek reconciliation. DO NOT let her act on her threats while you sit by and do nothing. She has already claimed abuse and now fraud. Why are you not advocating for yourself here?

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Can say im not surprised and you are staying there why if anyday it can turn domestic!! You can get in trouble...

Get out while you still can she treats you like you are beneath her taking your food like that...uncalled for.!!

You cant save the unwilling she wants to take you with her to her insane world. You cant reason with people that have emotional issues like this woman has. You got a bad deal here.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

You can still help her even if you are divorced.

Secure your immigration status first.