Abusive Wife

[TBoneTX 45,863]

A noncontributory post has been removed. Post constructively, or don't post.

[Cheezees 1,514]

A noncontributory post has been removed. Post constructively, or don't post.

Wow TBoneTX, you (thankfully) caught that one real quick!

[firebird00 66]

Hello everyone,

In my last post I wrote about my USC wife (I am the alien) and the problems happening between us and about her Borderline Personality Disorder. Right now I am waiting to receive the divorce papers she filed for, she asked me to move out too although she is not working and I am paying all the bills. I have no idea how she will survive with no job and income. I think she is not aware at all of what she is doing. I went to a Social Worker today and she told me that unfortunately my wife will not change, and the best thing to do is to run as far as I can. I am sad to hear that for many reasons, one of them is that the person you love turns to be emotionally abusive and kind of crazy. I really wish a miracle will happen to change her but I know it will not happen.

Right now I am looking for places to move out, when the divorce papers arrive I will fill them and mail to the court. I hope by then she finds a job so I know she is going to be fine.

My concerns are about ROC, I know I am gonna go thru a sad divorce and somehow I don't want to think about how I will be feeling emotionally. I am trying to focus on ROC process because I decided to stay or try to stay in the US since I have a good job. I should file for ROC in October 2016, should I file earlier once our divorce is finalized or shall I wait?

This is what I have for ROC evidence. Please let me know if it's good or not;

Joint 2015 Taxes

Joint phone plan (14 months bills)

Joint electricity bill (The last 9 months bills)

Joint car insurance (2015 and 2016)

Joint car lease (Since 2015)

Apartment rental contract (both our names on it)

Joint checking bank account (But she removed me on it since she was the primary, I don't have statements but I have a letter from the bank saying I was on the checking account) There is total of 10 months of statements. That is the time I started working.

Joint health, dental and vision insurance (Since October 2015,it's thru my job, I am the carrier and I have her on my plan)

Documents from our doctor practice showing each other as the emergency contact and authorized person to call on get access on behalf on each other.

Our driving license with same address

Home inspection report with our names (we were looking into buying a house in 2015)

Bed mattress purchase with both our names

Cabin lodge reservation for 2 nights on our anniversary with both our names

Care Credit card (mine but also card with her name with same number)

Cigna Dental Saving plans (Family plan & cards for both of us)

BJ's cards with both our names (shows as family member)

Lots of photos together and her family, also on holidays like Easter, Thanksgiving..

Cards from her family to us showing our address and our names.

Affidavits from my coworkers that she used to come to my work and have lunch together.

Lately when problems got really bad, I took pictures for her medication. I googled it and it says its for bipolar seizures. I also have emails from her to mental therapy places saying that she needs help and she can't function in life anymore

I am trying to face things as it is and not to hang hopes on good changes to happen. I will just deal the situation as it is, unfortunately things went bad and not the end I wanted.

[firebird00 66]

Update:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/595539-sad-ending-facts-and-concerns/

[Rc123rc 528]

I am sorry to hear this. I wish you luck. Gather what evidence you can and continue with your ROC process. You can't change her and even the professionals may not be able to do much. I would suggest you get your own counseling and support. Your own emotional health is the most important thing now.

Take Care.

[firebird00 66]

I am sorry to hear this. I wish you luck. Gather what evidence you can and continue with your ROC process. You can't change her and even the professionals may not be able to do much. I would suggest you get your own counseling and support. Your own emotional health is the most important thing now.

Take Care.

Thanks for your support. You are right that's what my counselor said today, things will not change and I need to protect my self before I get in real trouble. It's really sad, I will just keep walking.

[neoblast 138]

Yes, you may file for removal of conditions even if the divorce is not finalized and you absolutely have to as soon as it's finalyzed. You will need to submit proof the divorce is pending along with evidence the marriage was entered in good faith. You are not required to hire an attorney but it would be a sound investment to ensure the case moves forward as smoothly as possible.

From what you listed, I think you are in good shape.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Well i think can all say we ??this coming....i was one of the ones who

Wasnt sure if you were the victim or aggressor....but as you post went on i saw you tried and i hope that who ever adjudicates your case can see this was put of your control....AND YOU TRIED ??

I sincerely wish you luck and hope you find a good partner.

The toughest roads lead to the best places.

[Ryan H 3,819]

~~~Posts merged with existing thread.~~~

Hello everyone,

In my last post I wrote about my USC wife (I am the alien) and the problems happening between us and about her Borderline Personality Disorder. Right now I am waiting to receive the divorce papers she filed for, she asked me to move out too although she is not working and I am paying all the bills. I have no idea how she will survive with no job and income. I think she is not aware at all of what she is doing. I went to a Social Worker today and she told me that unfortunately my wife will not change, and the best thing to do is to run as far as I can. I am sad to hear that for many reasons, one of them is that the person you love turns to be emotionally abusive and kind of crazy. I really wish a miracle will happen to change her but I know it will not happen.

Right now I am looking for places to move out, when the divorce papers arrive I will fill them and mail to the court. I hope by then she finds a job so I know she is going to be fine.

My concerns are about ROC, I know I am gonna go thru a sad divorce and somehow I don't want to think about how I will be feeling emotionally. I am trying to focus on ROC process because I decided to stay or try to stay in the US since I have a good job. I should file for ROC in October 2016, should I file earlier once our divorce is finalized or shall I wait?

This is what I have for ROC evidence. Please let me know if it's good or not;

Joint 2015 Taxes

Joint phone plan (14 months bills)

Joint electricity bill (The last 9 months bills)

Joint car insurance (2015 and 2016)

Joint car lease (Since 2015)

Apartment rental contract (both our names on it)

Joint checking bank account (But she removed me on it since she was the primary, I don't have statements but I have a letter from the bank saying I was on the checking account) There is total of 10 months of statements. That is the time I started working.

Joint health, dental and vision insurance (Since October 2015,it's thru my job, I am the carrier and I have her on my plan)

Documents from our doctor practice showing each other as the emergency contact and authorized person to call on get access on behalf on each other.

Our driving license with same address

Home inspection report with our names (we were looking into buying a house in 2015)

Bed mattress purchase with both our names

Cabin lodge reservation for 2 nights on our anniversary with both our names

Care Credit card (mine but also card with her name with same number)

Cigna Dental Saving plans (Family plan & cards for both of us)

BJ's cards with both our names (shows as family member)

Lots of photos together and her family, also on holidays like Easter, Thanksgiving..

Cards from her family to us showing our address and our names.

Affidavits from my coworkers that she used to come to my work and have lunch together.

Lately when problems got really bad, I took pictures for her medication. I googled it and it says its for bipolar seizures. I also have emails from her to mental therapy places saying that she needs help and she can't function in life anymore

I am trying to face things as it is and not to hang hopes on good changes to happen. I will just deal the situation as it is, unfortunately things went bad and not the end I wanted.

I am sorry to hear this. I wish you luck. Gather what evidence you can and continue with your ROC process. You can't change her and even the professionals may not be able to do much. I would suggest you get your own counseling and support. Your own emotional health is the most important thing now.

Take Care.

Thanks for your support. You are right that's what my counselor said today, things will not change and I need to protect my self before I get in real trouble. It's really sad, I will just keep walking.

Yes, you may file for removal of conditions even if the divorce is not finalized and you absolutely have to as soon as it's finalyzed. You will need to submit proof the divorce is pending along with evidence the marriage was entered in good faith. You are not required to hire an attorney but it would be a sound investment to ensure the case moves forward as smoothly as possible.

From what you listed, I think you are in good shape.

Well i think can all say we ??this coming....i was one of the ones who
Wasnt sure if you were the victim or aggressor....but as you post went on i saw you tried and i hope that who ever adjudicates your case can see this was put of your control....AND YOU TRIED ??

I sincerely wish you luck and hope you find a good partner.

The toughest roads lead to the best places.

[firebird00 66]

Well i think can all say we ??this coming....i was one of the ones who

Wasnt sure if you were the victim or aggressor....but as you post went on i saw you tried and i hope that who ever adjudicates your case can see this was put of your control....AND YOU TRIED ??

I sincerely wish you luck and hope you find a good partner.

The toughest roads lead to the best places.

I wasn't the victim of the my wife because my wife is the victim of herself. I guess I feel bad about her more than about my self because it's something she will live with forever. I tried all what I can, there is nothing left I can do. Unfortunately.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

I wasn't the victim of the my wife because my wife is the victim of herself. I guess I feel bad about her more than about my self because it's something she will live with forever. I tried all what I can, there is nothing left I can do. Unfortunately.

Unfortunatly mental health is something that cosumes all involved if not treated properly at least i belive...youll be ok once you heal

[N and J 88]

Don't worry about how she will pay her bills. Just worry about getting yourself set up and on two feet. I am sorry it came to this. Unfortunately you are not alone. Mental health problems tear families apart way too much and in this country mental health is not addressed properly. I wish you the best and hope that everything goes well and you are able to adjust here. Good luck and come back and give us some good news about how you are progressing!!

[firebird00 66]

Unfortunatly mental health is something that cosumes all involved if not treated properly at least i belive...youll be ok once you heal

I know I will be fine, I hope she will be fine too.

Don't worry about how she will pay her bills. Just worry about getting yourself set up and on two feet. I am sorry it came to this. Unfortunately you are not alone. Mental health problems tear families apart way too much and in this country mental health is not addressed properly. I wish you the best and hope that everything goes well and you are able to adjust here. Good luck and come back and give us some good news about how you are progressing!!

Thank you. I never thought that my life will be a victim of a mental illness. I wish her the best from the bottom of my heart.

[TBoneTX 45,863]

Good luck and come back and give us some good news about how you are progressing!!

This. ^^

[EMC2 1]

After reading 13 pages of this, I just feel stressed. You need to leave her, even if she cries. Move on with your divorce and disappear form her life.

You may love her, but right now your life is more important and your sanity..... Hope everything turns well.