Is this a shame?

[Dave & Mong 29]

Which why I mentioned confronting the owners of the salon with trafficking laws after this is complete. You want to insure there is no repeat of the shady business. And yes, he needs to have a serious heart to heart with his wife. To me it appears she was forced into this situation against her will. Partly by her parents, and partly by the salon owners. Its likely the parents got money in their pockets, and the salon owner got labor below market rates.

That is my plan "if" that is where she is.

[ExPatty 502]

I have been married to her for about 16 months. She is from Vietnam and I meet her through my neighbor, her cousin. She has had her green card since 11/15. Everything was fine except her parents always want money. I have caught her in a lie a couple of times for instance saying her father was very sick an at the hospital when in fact I just talked to him and he was home. In Feb. see went home to visit her family and wasn't the same, constantly saying she must work for her family. We have been sending a few hundred dollars a month but now she claims the need $1,000. I said I can only send $500 and she agreed. A few days later she disappeared, leaving the attached letter. I have only heard from her buy message, she will not do Facebook messenger or call. Her cousin said his mother was in Vietnam at the same time and someone agreed to give her parents money and my wife agreed to do work for this person to pay it back. She is thought to be around 30 minutes away. The note is what I came home to. O well to large to upload. But i did report her as missing to the police. How should I procede? She only took a few pieces of clothing and he wedding ring which she said she will wear anf left me the engagement ring. Said sorry, Ilove you and I will see you soon.

I'm sorry to say you were played for a fool. Terminate everything summarily.

[Unlockable 7,315]

What?? Why would she hide from you?

First and most importantly, you need to be 1000% that your wife is safe. You need to be sure she is not being coerced (ex. writing the letter claiming it is her decision, messaging you daily). You need to be 10,000% sure.

If you are absolutely sure that it was HER DECISION to leave your home to work elsewhere without your knowledge of her whereabouts, then you have your answer. She abandoned your marriage. And you need to strongly communicate how this is jeopardizing her marriage and possibly her immigration status.

If you feel it was not her decision, then you should have some type of authoritative figure to have a talk with her. Lawyer, PI, social worker, a friend that is an officer? Somebody!!!

Because believe me. If this was my wife and she was manipulated into doing something like that. I would raise so much hell at that nail shop the owners would be thankful the police was called.

[WandY 430]

This is horrible and very sad. Maybe she's in the U.S. and not Vietnam. Her behavior is shady, at best, and criminal at worst. The cultural divide is great and not always a good thing. Move on.

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

This is horrible and very sad. Maybe she's in the U.S. and not Vietnam. Her behavior is shady, at best, and criminal at worst. The cultural divide is great and not always a good thing. Move on.

I think you need to read the thread before responding.

[zeta054 111]

It's a sad story but you'll have to figure out what u need to do for ROC since she only has the 2 yr GC. Try to gather as much info as you can of the situation and hopefully all works out for you and her. Best of luck to u guys.

[Dave & Mong 29]

In part of her message to me today she mentioned things that someone else would not know. She even sent a happy birthday on my BD. One thing she said was that when she returns will I still love her and sympathize for her, if not we can divorce and she will return home to her parents in Vietnam. If I do love her we can work it out.

[Caryh 5,206]

In part of her message to me today she mentioned things that someone else would not know. She even sent a happy birthday on my BD. One thing she said was that when she returns will I still love her and sympathize for her, if not we can divorce and she will return home to her parents in Vietnam. If I do love her we can work it out.

I'd still chase her down and drag her out. What is being forced upon her is not legal in the USA. That sounds kind of bad to write it like that, but likely her preconceptions of what these people can hold over her head, does not match with the laws of the USA.

Edited April 25, 2016 by Caryh

[Dave & Mong 29]

It's a sad story but you'll have to figure out what u need to do for ROC since she only has the 2 yr GC. Try to gather as much info as you can of the situation and hopefully all works out for you and her. Best of luck to u guys.

That is why I have yet to inform the gov't. I do hope for the best.

[Unlockable 7,315]

I'm thinking cultural ignorance as well.

This type of stuff doesn't fly over here in the states.

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

I'd still chase her down and drag her out. What is being forced upon her is not legal in the USA. That sounds kind of bad to write it like that, but likely her preconceptions of what these people can hold over her head, does not match with the laws of the USA.

If this is all true, I doubt she's worried about what they are holding over her head. She's probably worried about what they are holding over her parents heads.

Loan shark in any culture are ruthless criminals. They may be fronted by a seemingly legit businesses. She may not be forced by threat to her well being but to her parents.

Again... if this is true.

[heo luoi 206]

That is why I have yet to inform the gov't. I do hope for the best.

I dont know how young she is or how acclimated she is to here and her english et al.

I dont imagine coming over here is the easiest thing ever...not to say her actions were excusable....I'm glad you seem open minded still but rightfully cautious.

Kudos.

If she wanted to leave I think she simply would have. If she wanted a GC, she already has one. Already had for over a year.

This seems complicated and I hope you get the full comprehensive details OP as you seem like you deserve them. Regardless.

A lot of people will just skim and jump to cut the rope and your losses but only you may have the clearer picture of your relationship. Or maybe 3rd party observation is required...but those of us here on VJ really can't judge her nor you. She could legitimately been put in an impossible (for her) situation by these salon owner and her parents...sure she handled it poorly but still a victim of circumstance in the whole thing. If she was involved...well thats a whole other matter and then I do agree cut it all clean to move on.

Hopefully this really is a one off or you can assure it will be.

If you want it to work out, I hope that you can ...or vice versa.

GL

Edited April 25, 2016 by heo luoi

[Dave & Mong 29]

Also, she has with her two credit cards in her name, but there is zero activity on them. She has medical and dental insurance cards thru me and those also haven't been used. I just don't know why she won't do facetime. Maybe afraid I can pick out her surroundings?

[Villanelle 4,122]

Listen Im gonna be blunt. You got problems. See a therapist and discuss this rather then continuing to discuss it on a public message board. I mean really would you rather make decisions for the rest of your life after talking to a professional or a bunch of strangers who happen to be online this week.

[Expat1 971]

Dude here's why you either need to get her stuff to her and close this out or get her out of there. From how it looks you're one nail salon/massage parlor raid frim getting on a list that you'll never get off of. You brought an immigrant over here that by all looks is in a situation of indentured servitude to pay off an overseas debt. You havent reported her missing, havent tried to find her, and it's not going to take a Clarence Darrow of a DA to make a case that you look complicit on the whole thing. Trafficking is a big deal now, and a situation like this could be viewed as an opportunity to make an example out of somebody.

That's your wife, and ok so you dont care enough to look for or protect her or whatever thats fine. Your name is going to be the first name that shows up if she gets fingerprinted and they are going to come looking for you and frankly speaking I think your story smells badly in addition to your inaction does not really look like what someone in a valid marriage would do. You are aware if it and that makes you just as guilty as if you had put her to work yourself. You need to man up and take care of this dude.

Edited April 26, 2016 by Expat1