Old MacDonald Had a Rant...

[TBoneTX 45,324]

Do not trifle with, downplay, or dismiss out of hand the best offer of the Father's Day shopping season, no man!

[SAT 9,609]

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned, sea man.

And if you were on one of those vessels, they should bury you at sea (alive).

[TBoneTX 45,324]

Rant, grrr man:

Why are Pringles cans so finite in content, huh and grrr man?

We should have bought a Costco pizza when we were there to gas the T-B.-mobile, two birds not killed man.

[TBoneTX 45,324]

And if you were on one of those vessels, they should bury you at sea (alive).

An operative doctor on board ship would be known as a vascular surgeon, adjectivally man.

And a polite, caviar-producing Russian fish, if caught, would be a Civil Sturgeon, definitely man.

Edited June 4, 2016 by TBoneTX

[SAT 9,609]

Rant, grrr man:

Why are Pringles cans so finite in content, huh and grrr man?

We should have bought a Costco pizza when we were there to gas the T-B.-mobile, two birds not killed man.

Now you'll have to waste gas to go back....

An operative doctor on board ship would be known as a vascular surgeon, adjectivally man.

And a polite, caviar-producing Russian fish, if caught, would be a Civil Sturgeon, definitely man.

FFS Fallopian chat is more exciting than you!

[TBoneTX 45,324]

A Steveklar joke, truth-in-humor man:

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The proprietor points to Many (2+1) identical-looking parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot on the left costs $Many."

"Why does the parrot cost so much?" asks the first man.

The owner says, "Well, the parrot knows how to use a computer."

The man then asks about the second parrot. He is told that this one costs $[Many x 2] because it can do everything the first parrot can do and also knows how to use the UNIX operating system. Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the Many'rd parrot, and he is told that it costs $[Many x (2+2)]. The customer asks, "What can it do?"

The owner replies, "To be honest, I have never seen that one do a thing, but the other two call him 'Boss'!"

[SAT 9,609]

now go away....shoo, shoo!

[TBoneTX 45,324]

Ways to Annoy Stallmates in Public Restrooms
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say, "Uh, oh -- I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

Many. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily-function noise.

Many. Say, "Darn, this water's cold."

Many. Drop a marble on the floor and say, "Oh, rats! My glass eye!"

Many. Say, "Hmmm; I've never seen that color before."

Many. Grunt and strain real loud for half a minute, and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 2+2+2 feet. Sigh relaxedly.

Many. Say, "Now, how did THAT get there?"

Many. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

Many. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy, boy!"

Many. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."

Many. Using a small squeeze-tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops! Could you kick that back over here, please?"

Many. Say, "C'mon, Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."

Many. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter creamed corn all about. Apologize profusely, and blame it on the Fettucine Alfredo you had for breakfast.

Many. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."

Many. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain-hole was a little too small. NOW what am I gonna do?"

Many. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

Many. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor, making it quite visible to the adjacent stall.

Many. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor, and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

Many. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "BORN Free...!"

[Jacque67 7,328]

I'm thinking about eating it...

What's that in the middle?

A monk fish?

[TBoneTX 45,324]

That's what he said, J ma'am.

[SAT 9,609]

What's that in the middle?

A monk fish?

Man, keep up, didn't I say there was a monk fish in my crab cage? (Yes I did)...

[Jacque67 7,328]

Man, keep up, didn't I say there was a monk fish in my crab cage? (Yes I did)...

Wow. I didn't read that and I guessed right!

So how ya gonna cook that?

[SAT 9,609]

I know what Frenchy's thinking.

She's thinking, "ooh yeah baby, that fish is...sexy..."

Wow. I didn't read that and I guessed right!

So how ya gonna cook that?

I left it in the cage...

[Jacque67 7,328]

I know what Frenchy's thinking.

She's thinking, "ooh yeah baby, that fish is...sexy..."

I left it in the cage...

Why did you leave it in the cage? You don't eat monkfish?

[SAT 9,609]

Let him fight it out with the blue crab.

Loser dies, winner gets eaten...